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vanilla bf - 10/6/2008 10:31:30 PM   
LilWicked88


Posts: 4
Joined: 8/17/2008
Status: offline 		i'm currently with a great guy, but he's vanilla....he claims to have a kinky side but doesn't know much about the BDSM lifestyle...what would be the best route of introducing him to it?
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RE: vanilla bf - 10/6/2008 10:41:55 PM   
JumpingJax


Posts: 155
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline
Rent a movie or something. Try "The Secretary" staring James Spader. You can say you got it because of the well known actor but let him watch it. See what he thinks about it in the end and see if it tempts him to experiment.

(in reply to LilWicked88)
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RE: vanilla bf - 10/6/2008 10:42:00 PM   
DavanKael


Posts: 3072
Joined: 10/6/2007
Status: offline 		Hi, LilWicked----
Having a conversation of depth seems a great place to start.  Perhaps he can tell you about his kinky side and you can tell  him about yours?  Then work from there? 
Good luck!  :>
  Davan

(in reply to LilWicked88)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: vanilla bf - 10/6/2008 10:46:44 PM   
LadyKatija


Posts: 6
Joined: 6/16/2008
Status: offline 		talk.

< Message edited by LadyKatija -- 10/6/2008 10:48:25 PM >

(in reply to DavanKael)
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RE: vanilla bf - 10/6/2008 10:47:45 PM   
servantheart


Posts: 960
Joined: 10/26/2006
From: Houston, TX
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyKatija

talk


What she said

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When you really trust someone, you have to be okay with not understanding some things.
~Real Live Preacher, Real Live Preacher weblog, 07-08-04; Anonymous author of RealLivePreacher.com

(in reply to LadyKatija)
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RE: vanilla bf - 10/6/2008 11:04:18 PM   
UmbraDomina


Posts: 491
Joined: 7/22/2008
From: SE Michigan
Status: offline 		Talk, get him some basics books, show him some websites, grow together and enjoy. Offer to be his sex slave for a night, lead him through a few kinky things.
just remember he might not grow to be DomMcDreamy, so keep your fantasies grounded.

_____________________________

Alexandra ~

~~ And I will show you something different from either your shadow at morning striding behind you Or your shadow at evening rising to meet you; I will show you fear in a handful of dust..... T.S. Elliot ~~

(in reply to servantheart)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: vanilla bf - 10/7/2008 12:00:22 AM   
PACAT123


Posts: 1
Joined: 7/30/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DavanKael

Hi, LilWicked----
Having a conversation of depth seems a great place to start.  Perhaps he can tell you about his kinky side and you can tell  him about yours?  Then work from there? 
Good luck!  :>
  Davan



im confused what is this

(in reply to DavanKael)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: vanilla bf - 10/7/2008 12:34:39 AM   
MasterFireMaam


Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline 		Try finding a local TNG group. They're specifically for your age and geared toward introducing people to fetish. You may or may not learn about relationship dynamics, but it's a GREAT place to start the adventure.

Master Fire


_____________________________

The power of who we are can be intoxicating. The power of who we could be is humbling.
-----
Ms Relationship Books
-----
BDSM How-To Books

(in reply to LilWicked88)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: vanilla bf - 10/7/2008 2:10:35 AM   
tweedydaddy


Posts: 673
Joined: 9/1/2008
Status: offline 		Tell him, but dress up first and show him what he could be getting!
Worked for me more than once.

(in reply to LilWicked88)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: vanilla bf - 10/7/2008 2:22:26 AM   
RCdc


Posts: 8674
Status: offline 		Talk about it.  Explore.  Show him.
Get some good books - I believe RS posted a good resource post HERE
Attend some demos, even if you aren't into groups or munches.
 
the.dark.

_____________________________
RC&dc


love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

(in reply to LilWicked88)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: vanilla bf - 10/7/2008 1:39:51 PM   
LilWicked88


Posts: 4
Joined: 8/17/2008
Status: offline 		thanks for the book ideas, hadn't thought of that...as far as talking goes, i've tried but he tends to get a little...i dunno...deer in the head lights look when i bring it up

(in reply to RCdc)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: vanilla bf - 10/7/2008 1:46:02 PM   
sheyearns


Posts: 8
Joined: 10/2/2008
Status: offline 		i would recommend the book titled...When Someone You Love is Kinky.  It's a good basic start to get him on the right track.  He may need to get over his anxiety and shyness about a topic like this. 

Good luck!

(in reply to LilWicked88)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: vanilla bf - 10/7/2008 2:27:39 PM   
MasterFireMaam


Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline 		Well, what are you bringing up? Most guys are trained to 'not hit the girl' and 'be nice to the girl' and 'it's a 50/50 relationship'. These are tough programs to overcome. In the end, it simply will never work unless he's got at least some interest in it himself. In my experience, I've never seen 'I just do it to make my partner happy' hasn't ever really been deeply fulfilling for either.

Master Fire


_____________________________

The power of who we are can be intoxicating. The power of who we could be is humbling.
-----
Ms Relationship Books
-----
BDSM How-To Books

(in reply to LilWicked88)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: vanilla bf - 10/7/2008 2:40:09 PM   
colouredin


Posts: 4279
Joined: 2/2/2007
Status: offline 		Rather than exlaining what you like why not ask what he thinks of as kinky what he is interested in all that then you will get a sense of his comfort zone and be less likely to freak him out

_____________________________

Resident Lime(y) Tart
There would be no gossip without secrets
I don't want to be anything other than what I've been trying to be lately

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ELvfMJoKDAk

(in reply to MasterFireMaam)
Profile   Post #: 14
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