Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

Memories


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Casual Banter] >> Humor and Games >> Memories Page: [1]
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
Memories - 10/7/2008 8:28:46 AM   
VirginPotty


Posts: 11624
Joined: 7/16/2008
From: Virginville
Status: offline
An 80 year old couple were having problems remembering things, so they decided to go to their doctor to get checked out to make sure nothing was wrong with them.

When they arrived at the doctors, they explained to the doctor about the problems they were having with their memory. After checking the couple out, the doctor told them that they were physically okay but might want to start writing things down and make notes to help them remember things.

The couple thanked the doctor and left. Later that night while watching TV, the man got up from his chair and his wife asked, "Where are you going?" He replied, "To the kitchen." She asked, "Will you get me a bowl of ice cream?" He replied, "Sure." She then asked him, "Don't you think you should write it down so you can remember it?" He said, "No, I can remember that."

She then said, "Well I would also like some strawberries on top. You had better write that down because I know you'll forget that." He said, "I can remember that, you want a bowl of ice cream with strawberries." She replied, "Well I also would like whipped cream on top. I know you will forget that so you better write it down."

With irritation in his voice, he said, "I don't need to write that down! I can remember that." He then fumes into the kitchen. After about 20 minutes he returned from the kitchen and handed her a plate of bacon and eggs. She stared at the plate for a moment and said angrily: "I TOLD you to write it down! You forgot my toast!"


_____________________________

Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened.
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Memories - 10/7/2008 7:19:57 PM   
GreedyTop


Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline
*snort*

_____________________________

polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

(in reply to VirginPotty)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Memories - 10/7/2008 8:56:18 PM   
HandSolo


Posts: 323
Joined: 11/22/2007
Status: offline
A long retired man is talking to a childhood friend, complaining, as old men are wont to do. "I can't remember a thing anymore! I miss appointments, forget birthdays, I can't remember what I had for breakfast!"

The other man replies "oh, I have just the thing! There's this wonderful system designed to help people like us. It's a simple series of exercises, designed to keep the mind limber. It's called... um... wait. It's named after... something. What's that, um flower? The one you bring on dates?"

"A rose?"

"Yes, that's it! A rose." He yells, "Hey there, Rose, what's the name of that memory program I'm on?"


_____________________________

I plan on leaving this world the way I came in: naked, screaming and by accident.

(in reply to GreedyTop)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Memories - 10/8/2008 3:24:54 AM   
MsStarlett


Posts: 1879
Joined: 12/23/2007
Status: offline
*giggle*

_____________________________

It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion.
It is by the beans of Java that thoughts acquire speed,
the hands acquire shakes, the shakes become a warning,
It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion.

(in reply to HandSolo)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Memories - 10/11/2008 10:52:50 AM   
curiousgirlie


Posts: 175
Joined: 9/29/2008
Status: offline
Granpa is telling a hunting story for his ums.
"I went on and on in the jungle, when a ferocious tiger attacked me. I grabbed my knife, and stabbed it in the heart. It died at once. I cut one leg to take with me as a proof, put it on my shoulder, and went on. Only a few minutes later a lion came roaring, but I shot it. I also cut one leg to prowe it, put it on my other shoulder, and went on."

Grandma just walks in.
"Darling what should I make for lunch?"

"Could you make me some pudding?"
"Sure deer." Grandma walks out.
"'Come on grandpa, what happened than?"
"where was I again?"
"you had the the legs on your shoulders!"
"Oh, yeah, so I licked and licked..."


(in reply to MsStarlett)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Memories - 10/11/2008 12:19:12 PM   
MadAxeman


Posts: 4171
Joined: 8/28/2008
From: UK
Status: offline


_____________________________

Hitman for the Subby Mafia

(in reply to curiousgirlie)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Memories - 10/11/2008 1:11:54 PM   
sirsholly


Posts: 42360
Joined: 9/7/2007
From: Quietville
Status: offline


_____________________________

PICKED UPON
TECHNO-DOLT
MEMBER OF THE SUBBIE MAFIA
GRACEFULLY CHALLENGED :::::splat:::::
BOOT WHORE
VAA/S FAN

GIVES GOOD HEART (Lushy)

CREATOR OF MAYHEM (practice)


(in reply to MadAxeman)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Memories - 10/11/2008 5:39:51 PM   
BlackPhx


Posts: 3432
Joined: 11/8/2006
Status: offline
~~~~SNORT~~~~

poenkitten

(in reply to sirsholly)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Memories - 10/12/2008 9:00:52 PM   
MarksFantasyGirl


Posts: 3660
Joined: 10/13/2005
Status: offline
These are GREAT!!! I'mma have to share them with my dad... (His memory SUCKS!!! lol)

_____________________________

--Fannie
AKA Savage's Fantasy
AKA Girl Dave
AKA Resident Flirt
AKA Sexy Hawt Woman

~*~Happily and proudly collared by my best friend~*~

Quitcher bitchen, and get out of the kitchen! ~Harry {3rdRock}

(in reply to BlackPhx)
Profile   Post #: 9
Page:   [1]
All Forums >> [Casual Banter] >> Humor and Games >> Memories Page: [1]
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.188