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what is a true master? - 10/7/2008 5:03:15 PM   
belovedfairy


Posts: 9
Joined: 7/10/2008
Status: offline 		Sorry, that probably seems like an obvious question, but it is not.  It seems that most here are into just sexual dominance, or some other kind of BS control, and not into positive control.  How would I as a newbie know if someone is a true Master, or a potential abuser?
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RE: what is a true master? - 10/7/2008 5:06:22 PM   
Aileen1968


Posts: 6062
Joined: 12/12/2007
From: I miss Shore, New Jersey
Status: offline 		I like being sexually dominated.  It's not bullshit to me.  What's right for you isn't right for anyone else.  It's all individual and unique to each relationship. 

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RE: what is a true master? - 10/7/2008 5:09:44 PM   
KyttynTheMynx


Posts: 4880
Joined: 5/10/2006
From: Moosecrotch, Va
Status: offline 		Go with your gut.  If what He says doesnt rub ya the right way, move on.  Plain and simple.

FYI what is BS to you, is fantastic for someone else.


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RE: what is a true master? - 10/7/2008 5:13:10 PM   
MadRabbit


Posts: 3460
Joined: 8/9/2006
Status: offline 		That's because control on a BDSM-focused websites is going to largely be centered on sexuality, kink, and the fulfillment of fantasies as opposed to a relationship dynamic of strong leadership without the bells and whistles attached to it.

It's not a bad thing. It's just not what you want. Don't be so narrow minded.



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RE: what is a true master? - 10/7/2008 6:00:05 PM   
NihilusZero


Posts: 4036
Joined: 9/10/2008
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: belovedfairy

It seems that most here are into just sexual dominance, or some other kind of BS control, and not into positive control.

Why is sexual dominance not "positive control"? What is "positive control"?

quote:

ORIGINAL: belovedfairy

How would I as a newbie know if someone is a true Master, or a potential abuser?

How do you normally distinguish trustworthy people in your life?


_____________________________

"I know it's all a game
I know they're all insane
I know it's all in vain
I know that I'm to blame."
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RE: what is a true master? - 10/7/2008 6:05:15 PM   
simpleplan2


Posts: 461
Joined: 7/5/2008
Status: offline 		First off, there is no such thing as a true master.  There's the guy who is either right for you or not.  Use COMMON SENSE.  This isn't rocket science.  Although you don't have a profile active, you have to be at least 18.  I would think you prolly had a boyfriend or two in the past.  How did you know he wasn't an abuser.  Ok, then use the same filters for any "dom" you might meet that you did for a potential boyfriend.  D/s does NOT have to include bdsm activities.  You don't want sexual dominance...fine.  Don't get involved with someone who does.  This is pretty easy stuff, to be honest.

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RE: what is a true master? - 10/7/2008 6:27:14 PM   
Usako


Posts: 697
Joined: 7/29/2006
From: NYC
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: belovedfairy
How would I as a newbie know if someone is a true Master, or a potential abuser?


You ask to his "twue master" degree, DUH.

As said before, most is common sense and getting to know someone. What's BS to you isn't BS to someone else. You won't know until you talk to someone since, just like in the rest of society, abusers don't wear a "Hey I like to hit women for the hell of it" t-shirt.

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RE: what is a true master? - 10/7/2008 6:49:52 PM   
MasterFireMaam


Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline 		The process is the same as any other when choosing relationships in your life. You listen to what someone says...you watch how they behave...and you decide if these two things jive with that you want and think is important. This is harder to do in a purely online situation. Your best bet is to meet people face to face and get to know them as people. Yes, people lie and 'fake it' face to face, too, but the likelihood you'll see it faster is higher in real time. Body language and personal action means a LOT when figuring out a person's personal integrity and what you do or don't like about it.

A person matching you is what defines them as a 'true Master' for you. The nice thing is, there are plenty of others who think those you pass up are THEIR true Master, and vice versa.

Master Fire


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RE: what is a true master? - 10/7/2008 6:51:18 PM   
Jeffff


Posts: 12600
Joined: 7/7/2007
Status: offline 		Well since you asked....... me....:)

Jeffwey


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RE: what is a true master? - 10/7/2008 6:53:56 PM   
belovedfairy


Posts: 9
Joined: 7/10/2008
Status: offline 		Some of you are rude.  Its good I have a thick skin.  I asked a simple question.  Any jerk can claim to be a Master,  Dom, Dominant, Alpha, or Sir.  What I said was that most based their claims on sexual dominance alone.  That is just being a kink master to me; if it floats your boat, fine, but that seems like someone I would, in a vanilla world, say was simply "good in bed".

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RE: what is a true master? - 10/7/2008 6:55:44 PM   
belovedfairy


Posts: 9
Joined: 7/10/2008
Status: offline 		BTW, thank you Master Fire Ma'am for your thoughtful and respectful reply.  I mean it.

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RE: what is a true master? - 10/7/2008 7:02:56 PM   
Jeffff


Posts: 12600
Joined: 7/7/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: belovedfairy

Some of you are rude.  Its good I have a thick skin.  I asked a simple question.  Any jerk can claim to be a Master,  Dom, Dominant, Alpha, or Sir.  What I said was that most based their claims on sexual dominance alone.  That is just being a kink master to me; if it floats your boat, fine, but that seems like someone I would, in a vanilla world, say was simply "good in bed".


If you are not willing or able..... or even desire to accept sexual dominance, couldn't one claim you are not a real submissive?

See how this works?

Jeff

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RE: what is a true master? - 10/7/2008 7:11:12 PM   
CruelDesires


Posts: 824
Joined: 11/20/2004
Status: offline 		Might try finding someone who that you feel who fits your ideals of what you want a Master to be to you.. and use that person or persons as a role model . That will take time and effort. IMO, It is much easier to do in real life situations rather then soley thru the online venues.

C-D

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RE: what is a true master? - 10/7/2008 7:47:58 PM   
MasterFireMaam


Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: belovedfairy

BTW, thank you Master Fire Ma'am for your thoughtful and respectful reply.  I mean it.


You're welcome. But, do understand that a Master who is sexually oriented IS a TRUE Master to others...claiming that they're not is a sure way to get knocked down. And, they'll be right, because it's all a matter of opinion. The only really true statement you can make is that a sexual or sexually oriented dominant is not a true Master TO YOU.

Master Fire


_____________________________

The power of who we are can be intoxicating. The power of who we could be is humbling.
-----
Ms Relationship Books
-----
BDSM How-To Books

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RE: what is a true master? - 10/7/2008 7:54:29 PM   
SimplyMichael


Posts: 7229
Joined: 1/7/2007
Status: offline 		Listen here honey, I AM a sexual beast and my dominance is intricately interlinked with that sexuality.  Few here would say I am a fake anything other than perhaps a fake nice guy. 

What you are trying to do is offer something (non sexual submission which is perfectly cool) but rather than own it as simply your choice, you want to denigrate anyone as "less than" if they don't do it YOUR way.

That is, as we say, "some fucked up shit girl"!

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RE: what is a true master? - 10/7/2008 8:17:16 PM   
belovedfairy


Posts: 9
Joined: 7/10/2008
Status: offline 		Argh, I give up.  I am not excluding sexual dominance at all.  All I am asking is, is that all there is to being a master??

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RE: what is a true master? - 10/7/2008 8:23:22 PM   
CalifChick


Posts: 10717
Joined: 10/28/2007
From: California
Status: offline 		I think you know the answer to that question. 


Cali


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RE: what is a true master? - 10/7/2008 8:29:12 PM   
NihilusZero


Posts: 4036
Joined: 9/10/2008
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CalifChick

I think you know the answer to that question.

The serious counterpoint to this whole thing is that she's the only one ultimately able to answer it.


_____________________________

"I know it's all a game
I know they're all insane
I know it's all in vain
I know that I'm to blame."
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NihilusZero.com

CM Sex God du Jour
CM Hall Monitor

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RE: what is a true master? - 10/7/2008 8:30:52 PM   
CruelDesires


Posts: 824
Joined: 11/20/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: belovedfairy

Argh, I give up.  I am not excluding sexual dominance at all.  All I am asking is, is that all there is to being a master??


Thats just the problem. There is no set answer to your question. A master to someone else may just be a "horny new guy" to you.  My advice is to learn as much as you can, set down and figure out who you admire and what qualities that person has as a Master.. and then find someone that fits those ideals and with whom you feel submissive towards. Some will bring that out in you and some will not. Those are the ones that you need to seek out.

C-D

_____________________________

Reputation is what other people know about you. Honor is what you know about yourself.
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RE: what is a true master? - 10/7/2008 8:35:05 PM   
Rover


Posts: 2634
Joined: 6/28/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: belovedfairy

Argh, I give up.  I am not excluding sexual dominance at all.  All I am asking is, is that all there is to being a master??


There is no process by which those desiring to be "Masters" (using the term in that manner brings bile to my throat) are certified as "real", or "genuine", or "legitimate" or even if they know their posterior from a void in the terra firma. 
 
I suggest that you not think of a "master" as a universally meaningful term... it is not.  Think of "master" in a personal sense... as in someone who owns you.  If you're willing to submit to them, then that's all the validation needed to call them a "Master" (ie: *your* Master).
 
John

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