Is there a need for Verification (Full Version)

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion



Message

DeepWaters -> Is there a need for Verification (12/6/2005 2:30:06 PM)

I've run into several people and read numerous profiles whose constant complaint is the number of "fakers" and their frustration at having to sift through the dross in order to find real people like themselves not only on this site but also on every other internet dating media.

Now I understand that Collarme.com policy is not to defame anyones profile as being fake so creating a blacklist of fake profiles--even unofficially is out of the question.

But
What about a Verification List---where profiles that are not "faking" or people willing to meet in the flesh are made available

any thoughts on this idea...good? bad? too easy to circumvent? ways to maintain its validity

just trying to address a common problem

thanks
DeepWaters



imtempting -> RE: Is there a need for Verification (12/6/2005 2:36:34 PM)

Its a lame way to make money in my opinion. Not needed at all.



ExistentialSteel -> RE: Is there a need for Verification (12/6/2005 2:43:30 PM)

So how would you determine who would be on this list? (Here we go again.)



DeepWaters -> RE: Is there a need for Verification (12/6/2005 2:46:23 PM)

hmmm lets say no money involved

would getting a board member of the local lifestyle scene in that persons area---give a thumbs up to a persons profile upon meeting that person in the flesh work?




LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Is there a need for Verification (12/6/2005 2:50:41 PM)

There already exists such a site.

There's simply no way to maintain it in order to make it a trustworthy source.

Nothing will circumvent time, observation and good judgement.



KatyLied -> RE: Is there a need for Verification (12/6/2005 2:53:00 PM)

One person's faker may be another person's dream fantasy.
Just saying.



pandoravampire -> RE: Is there a need for Verification (12/6/2005 2:55:13 PM)

Lets imagine such a list were allready created, each prospective partner for me, allready vetted and certified as a genuine article. That still doesnt mean they will be allright for me does it?
NO.

This lifestyle is made up of humans, with all their differences and positives and negatives. Real people. Some good, some not so good.

Perhaps people should go back to school, and learn to judge people, before they try to tackle the grown up stuff like partner choices.

Personally i chose someone with no lifestyle experience whatsoever. A few kinky play sessions to his name. Did that make him less 'real' ? NO.
Did it make him a player? NO
I chose him, because i liked him, because we got on. The bdsm was going to be learnt by us both, simultaneously together. Does that make our 24/7 D/s relationship unreal? NO

And this was after id met several well respected people in my local group. Been given quite a few generous offers to allow me to submit to them. Very kind, and did jack shit for me, i simply was not connecting to these bonafide real people who came highly recommended. The chemistry was not real for me, ergo, i wasnt going there.

A 'real' certified bdsm'r? Not possible as its such a subjective personal point of reference.

each person we meet along lifes path, has a worthwhile experience with them, some we enjoy, some we dont, but all have merit in our learning. Even if its just not to make the same mistake twice.

Seriously, people do whinge about people not being real. But i could say the same for 90% of people i meet and have met in my life, they do nothing for me, will only ever remain aqaintences, never friends, coz to me, they are not real, they are fake, and would never ever be contemplated to play with, be a partner to, etc etc.
Most people are not 'my' sorta person. This lifestyle is made up of people from all walks of life, and so the same rule applies as does in society.

pandoravampire



Sensualips -> RE: Is there a need for Verification (12/6/2005 3:07:02 PM)

Some sites employ a "validation" type system. A user can validate another user, indicating they have met them in the flesh and they do exist in this dimension. It is not without the potential for misuse, but I actually have found it a helpful tool in the past in some circumstances.




veronicaofML -> RE: Is there a need for Verification (12/6/2005 3:10:41 PM)

the thought is there...your heart means well.

i will not attack...you.

but it is, i fear, all for nought.

but hey yo..
ya tried, right?

please.......
have a Merry Christmas....




onceburned -> RE: Is there a need for Verification (12/6/2005 3:40:05 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: DeepWaters
What about a Verification List---where profiles that are not "faking" or people willing to meet in the flesh are made available


I think local munches serve, in part, to show that an individual is willing to meet in the flesh and that they are sincere.

But for sites such as this, where people are often not local to others, its a little more difficult. Ultimately, it comes down to trusting the word(s) of someone you don't know.

As LuckyAlbatross mentioned, there is a site similar to the one you proposed. But I don't think it was well received here.



sultryvoice -> RE: Is there a need for Verification (12/6/2005 3:49:32 PM)

Ok, I will take the bait..what site are you talking about?

As for sorting out whow is real and who isn't, that is hard. As was stated before, we are all different and what is real to one might be a faker to another. With folks from all over the world on this site, you just can't meet all of them. We do the best we can by emailing and chatting. What is all comes down to is a judgement call. You have to know yourself well enough to know what you are looking for. You also need to have good people skills. You need to be able to read people. Some of us are not as adept at it. I have made my share of mistakes but I have learned from it. I am a lot more careful than I was at the beginning.

Respectfully,
sultry



sub4hire -> RE: Is there a need for Verification (12/6/2005 3:57:09 PM)

quote:

would getting a board member of the local lifestyle scene in that persons area---give a thumbs up to a persons profile upon meeting that person in the flesh work?


No, I am a prominent person within my community. However there are people who are relatively safe yet still scumbuckets in my eyes. Just yesterday a person asked me for a verification and I told her to ask someone else because I was biased about said individual.

Of course she didn't, she probed me and probed me. Not getting much out of me.

What I'm trying to say is just because I am a public member of the community does not mean I like everyone. So some would still get bad marks.
I believe in letting people be who they are. In time they will show themselves...and then you have proof to pass along if need be.
There is no short cut for you being too lazy to have common sense and take care of yourself.



Misstoyou -> RE: Is there a need for Verification (12/6/2005 4:30:53 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: sub4hire

There is no short cut ...



In a nutshell...



onceburned -> RE: Is there a need for Verification (12/6/2005 4:48:29 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: sultryvoice
Ok, I will take the bait..what site are you talking about?


I am thinking of http://www.verifiedbdsm.com



LadyHibiscus -> RE: Is there a need for Verification (12/6/2005 5:19:31 PM)

Sub4hire is right----just because a person is known, does not necessarily make them acceptable. There are some very visible people in the Michigan community that I would never permit at any of my events because of their lack of ethics, their dangerous practices, or just because they're a total asshat. Yet those same people have their devoted followers. It's a sad fact that you can't like everyone, and not everyone can like you.

It would be nice if we could have a reliable source for knowing if Sub X is married, or if he is looking to see if other dommes are more suitable than his, but what can we do? Network. Ask questions. Be cautious.



veronicaofML -> RE: Is there a need for Verification (12/6/2005 5:33:46 PM)

http://www.verifiedbdsm.com

just registered...oooh oooh

so any way-------

what was going on now? oh yeah back to msgs here



fyreredsub -> RE: Is there a need for Verification (12/6/2005 5:43:08 PM)

not sure if this has been covered but ...we can verify to our hearts content but there will always be people that are real and meet..........and they lie and play and use others for their own gain........no amount of verifiing will change that.



OscarHargraves -> RE: Is there a need for Verification (12/6/2005 6:30:53 PM)

KatyLied said it all. What's right for you isn't necessarily right for anyone else.



MHOO314 -> RE: Is there a need for Verification (12/6/2005 6:40:28 PM)

All one has to do is monitor and participate in the message boards, in a matter of a few days, one can easily discern who's real and who is not--



Wildfleurs -> RE: Is there a need for Verification (12/6/2005 7:03:47 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: DeepWaters

I've run into several people and read numerous profiles whose constant complaint is the number of "fakers" and their frustration at having to sift through the dross in order to find real people like themselves not only on this site but also on every other internet dating media.

Now I understand that Collarme.com policy is not to defame anyones profile as being fake so creating a blacklist of fake profiles--even unofficially is out of the question.

But
What about a Verification List---where profiles that are not "faking" or people willing to meet in the flesh are made available

any thoughts on this idea...good? bad? too easy to circumvent? ways to maintain its validity

just trying to address a common problem

thanks
DeepWaters


The easiest way to do that is to simply ask the person what organizations they belong to and then meet them at a munch. Or if its a long distance situation simply contact the organization leader and ask them if they are a part of the group.

C~



Page: [1] 2 3   next >   >>

Valid CSS!




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy
0.03125