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Age Limits - 12/6/2005 3:45:55 PM

GQponyboy

Posts: 25
Joined: 12/4/2005
From: CT
Status: offline

I have recently joined the site and have been browsing through the personals to find a Female Dominant. It seems that; just when I have found the mature and experienced Dom I am in search of, the profile reads "under 30 need not apply". I am 25 and precieve myself to be very respectful and humbing to others. Why do some Doms make the restriction? I am eager to learn and wish I was given the chance as opposed to being blocked from the start, however maybe there are things I have not considered. Any insight would be greatly appreciated.

In Honor and Obiedience
GQPonyboy

Post #: 1

RE: Age Limits - 12/6/2005 3:49:58 PM

Misstoyou

Posts: 1149
Joined: 9/4/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: GQponyboy

Why do some Doms make the restriction?

Because they can, and everyone is entitled to their personal preferences.

_____________________________

~ Miss Marie

a.k.a. "mean Lady"

(in reply to GQponyboy)

Post #: 2

RE: Age Limits - 12/6/2005 3:53:29 PM

Snivilis

Posts: 7
Joined: 11/21/2005
From: USA
Status: offline

I am 20, for example. I have the restriction too, because a 30 year old guy will feel like an uncle instead of a partner. There is always a reason for the restrictions, and as much as I hate doing restrictions, that is one that I like being honored. To me it is like a skip of a generation, and that is too much when I am concerned.

_____________________________

"Tailgaters will be fed to the reavers!"

(in reply to Misstoyou)

Post #: 3

RE: Age Limits - 12/6/2005 4:07:22 PM

thetammyjo

Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline

Everyone has limits, sometimes age is one of those limits.

Online this is a good way to help sift through multiple people.

A good way to find people who aren't so upfront with age limits and thus more willing to negotiate on that matter is through munches and organizations.

Let me use myself as an example (who else can I honestly use?):

I have age limits now of 20-40 but if I met someone who was older at munches or workshops, got talking to him/her over the course of a few months, I could see myself saying "hey, would you be interested in chatting about scening over coffee sometime?" In fact, I've done that. That is only after they've shown me (literally see them and hear them interactions) that we have something in common.

With so many folks online, the age limits help me narrow things down. I have limited amounts of time to give afterall just like everyone else.

_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to GQponyboy)

Post #: 4

RE: Age Limits - 12/6/2005 4:51:47 PM

HouseofBear

Posts: 1280
Joined: 2/9/2005
Status: offline

Look at it this way, if this dom has stated her personal preferences upfront, she has been honest and saved you from wasting precious time contacting her. Personally, I prefer 25 and up, however, what is more important to me than the age range is the courtesy, intelligence, sincerity, creativity, eagerness to learn, desire and willingness to serve a submissive displays.

Ursa

(in reply to thetammyjo)

Post #: 5

RE: Age Limits - 12/6/2005 6:05:44 PM

collaredlilone

Posts: 34
Joined: 12/6/2005
Status: offline

this girl i guess found a Master who really only had the age limit of 18 with me. he found me very rare at 19 when collared that i knew exactly what i was doing and what i wanted in the lifestyle. some frown about my age group but i do understand why. some just do not understand what they are getting into or do not have a clue what they really want. i have wanted to be a r/l slave since the age of 13. so i have read and learned a long time.
i guess it all goes to respect and your knowledge of things. but yes i know its hard when you feel like your given no chance. before Master i was turned down by many and its all because you have not found the right Master or Mistress.
i hope i helped
lil one

(in reply to Misstoyou)

Post #: 6

RE: Age Limits - 12/6/2005 6:37:26 PM

Wolf1020

Posts: 447
Joined: 11/7/2005
From: Anderson, SC
Status: offline

Because that is her preference? Everyone has them people in the lifestyle are no different in that respect. Just because you wouldn't have a problem dating someone old enough to be your mother doesn't mean she doesn't have a problem dating someone young enough to be her son.

_____________________________

"The less people know about how sausages and laws are made, the better they'll sleep at night."~ Otto von Bismarck

"Fish and visitors smell in three days"~Benjamin Franklin

(in reply to collaredlilone)

Post #: 7

RE: Age Limits - 12/6/2005 6:58:46 PM

LadyJulieAnn

Posts: 979
Joined: 6/29/2005
Status: offline

I had an age restriction on my profile when I was seeking because I was seeking a relationship with someone I could relate to on many levels, not just D/s. I prefer people close to my age.

Be well,
Julie

(in reply to GQponyboy)

Post #: 8

RE: Age Limits - 12/6/2005 11:26:13 PM

ragdoll

Posts: 231
Joined: 5/20/2005
From: New England
Status: offline

i used to feel that way too. i'm 26.. and sometimes people thinking i was "too young" irked me. But... the truth of the matter is a lot of times age does play a big part in a person's overall life view and experience and maturity.

it's true there are people who are in their younger twenties and teens being "wise beyond their years".. and it's true that there are people who are in their 50's who are "as reckless as the stereotypical party-dorm college student"..

But..

Well.. anyway... would you want someone who was 88 as a Mistress, GQponyboy?
If you wouldn't.. you can see that age can sometimes matter even to you. i'm sure there are some 88 year olds who are grand dominant people.. but... that'd be offlimits for me too.. so the reverse of that is.. if someone things 26 is "too young" for them.. i can fully respect that too.

i think, maybe if you are not "too eager" even someone who says 25 is too young, at first.. might be willing to give you a chance if you got to be friends first (in a non-sexual way)... and things. Of course.. in real-life (face to face) meetings and groups.. this is probably easier to accomplish. ^_^

Anyway.. good luck! ^_^

(in reply to GQponyboy)

Post #: 9

RE: Age Limits - 12/7/2005 12:24:22 AM

Tine11

Posts: 423
Joined: 11/5/2005
Status: offline

I agree ragdoll with you on many aspects. I have gotten many emails from people that are near the age of my parents. I belive they can be a valuable tool for us to learn from, but i could however as of now think of one as a master for myself. But over the past week or so i have expanded my search to include a addition 10 years or so only because i found that i get along with them well, and they are still young enough in my search for a life-long parnter it is possable to have a great number of years together. I see it as all a matter of respect, one can be respectful and learn from those that have been were they are. Friends can help you improve yourself and point things out that i many not have scene. I woudl say be open, but always stay within whatever is confertable to yourself.

_____________________________

The world is like a shinning diamond.
The way it gitters if you polish it right.
If the light should turn and leave you blinded.
Take the dream and give it one more try.

Soulburn, Masterplan

(in reply to ragdoll)

Post #: 10

RE: Age Limits - 12/7/2005 4:06:26 AM

FTopinMichigan

Posts: 571
Joined: 7/5/2004
Status: offline

Personally, I'm seeking a long term relationship, with one man, and my preference is for him to be near my own age.

If I were seeking a playmate/partner, I don't suppose that I'd be completely opposed to a man considerably younger than myself, but do find more in common with men at least within my own decade.

Play would be play, and age may not be an issue then.

I have to say that I probably would not...no, I would not, consider a man that young myself, but had I met him in person, and saw the type of man he might be, he could possibly change my mind.

While we don't want to have to "prove" ourselves all the time, sometimes meeting others in person, will offer them a different point of view, when it comes to judging you.

K

< Message edited by FTopinMichigan -- 12/7/2005 4:07:48 AM >

(in reply to GQponyboy)

Post #: 11

RE: Age Limits - 12/7/2005 11:14:41 AM

perverseangelic

Posts: 2625
Joined: 2/2/2004
From: Davis, Ca
Status: offline

My partner and I have age limits in our search for play parters simply because we've found that we not only can't relate to people very much older than us, but that they end up seeming like our parents.

We're 22 and 23 respectivly and generally keep our search to 35 and lower, because based on experience we don't have as much fun with, and aren't as much fun for people older than that.

~shrug~ OP, look at it like any other preference. And I figure that at least they are upfront about it, and don't make you jump through hoops only to find out the age is wrong.

_____________________________

~in the begining it is always dark~

(in reply to FTopinMichigan)

Post #: 12

RE: Age Limits - 12/11/2005 5:14:32 PM

MistrssM

Posts: 45
Joined: 1/15/2005
Status: offline

Everyone has their own reasons for the age restrictions. There is a feeling though among some older kinksters that people under 30 are not ready or serious about their interest in DS. I don't agree but to each their own and you have to respect their wishes. I think in this technology people learn about and explore DS much sooner then they did before. Over 18 age is merely a number its maturity that matters and I have met many a 45 year old man who needs to grow up. It all depends what you are seeking... if you just want a play pet your age restrictions might be more lax but if you want a play pet to date as well most seek someone near their own age.

(in reply to perverseangelic)

Post #: 13

RE: Age Limits - 12/12/2005 1:43:38 PM

jamesthehumanrug

Posts: 668
Joined: 10/21/2005
Status: offline

dear g q(GENTLEMANS'-QUARTERLY MAG.?)
i know
when i was 25 :i wanted an experienced; into it ;dont have to read a book first; lifetime dom ;
i didnt care what
she looked like ,but
at that age ; no-one took me serious
same with you....
"AGe-ISM "is a prevelant predjudiced
you better learn ,to deal ,with,asap....
my grandma
my favorite love of my life!
was sick going to the hospital
in the ambulence
at 98 years old
and had the smarts to say
she was 66 years old
get my drift!?
even comedian "exscuse me guy"
is the in ;
jet set clique
,and has cotton top hair cut;
the beetle bowl on the head- hair cut ,
with all white hair
, at age 30
get my drift!?
you can do it
all the cons i know
livin' in mansions
on the neck in marblehead massachusetts
did the SAME thing...
.from the condo king bill lilly
, to fbi agent connelly ,of the boston fbi
hiding whitey bulger for pisani rackets....
i thot i was seeing clones
they all had white hair beetle haircuts even my brother!!!
and were raking it in!.....,
so" presentation "is the trick!
you can study all you want....
and pass the exams
..... to be a full fledged-doctor but ,
if you dont have the" presentation"
and" the look"
(and , i wonder what genius got plagiraized there ,in that
no.# 1. song!?!: YOU GOT THE LOOK,.)
IF YOU DONT LOOK;like a real doctor
no one's gonna take you serious
SO
good luck
i had ,to learn the hard way;
WASTE MANY YEARS,

and, bottom my way up ,to the right tops.
SIGNED,
THE REAL LOVEles

< Message edited by jamesthehumanrug -- 12/12/2005 2:03:03 PM >

_____________________________

I REMAIN RESPECTFULLY SUBMITTED
,LOVEles,
jamesthehumanrug

(in reply to GQponyboy)

Post #: 14

RE: Age Limits - 12/12/2005 7:00:20 PM

MizSuz

Posts: 1881
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

I used to say "nobody younger than my son" but...my son will be 27 this month. SO...since I'm a lecherous wench with no wish to be in a significant other sort of relationship...I needed to revise my thinking a bit.

The closest I've come to it was 2 years older than my son and this was a few years back. I'll admit to finding it difficult occasionally if I stopped to think about it...so then the rationalizations came.

1. I am still susceptible to the illusion that younger men have more stamina. Intellectually I know it's bullshit and experience has occasionally born that out. <shrug> I'm still susceptible, though.

2. Younger men are an easy bet (if you're not looking for a significant other) especially if they haven't had any children yet. If they're young and they don't have kids there is no way I will ever become emotionally invested in them in a way that may lead to significant other relationship. There will be NO MORE BABIES or half grown humans in my life (unless they are grandchildren - then all bets are off!) Eventually the younger man will want to have a family. It won't be with me and we both know it going in (I discuss this very topic). I keep it clear.

3. A younger man is less likely to be content falling asleep in the lazyboy at the end of the day (sorry, but it's true). I'm usually much more active when I'm hanging out with a younger guy (usually, not always).

Now these are generalizations and I'll be the first one to admit that they only come from my personal experience (I haven't made a study of it, it just kind of happened). I don't claim to have enough of a sampling to call this science.

The flip side:

1. Younger men are generally not as refined as an older gentleman nor are they as interested (generally) in a good healthy discussion regarding abstract concepts, physics, metaphysics, meditation, personal growth and a whole host of other things. Generally. Lively debates can be a lot of fun, even really hot (if allowed to run amuck).

2. Older men tend to be fiscally settled. Money dramas (too much or too little) aren't as likely, they've been there and done that.

3. Older, experienced submissive men have settled into their submission (operative word being "experienced"). They aren't necessarily about to start searching their souls over the evils they want and how to properly manifest it (and not have that pesky conscience grieving them). They've, generally, already worked it out and aren't afraid to step up to the plate when the time comes to get a little aggressive.

Now, all of this assumes a level of intimacy that may not be required. Some people are willing to take on younger guys but will never allow it to be sexual, others are looking for a significant other sort of situation and just don't see a younger person as a suitable significant other. While hanging out with a younger guy can be a lot of fun, for me it's not something that's going to ever be more than a lot of fun with memories to carry forward.

Men my age usually have children they are still raising. See the first #2 in this dissertation.

So, it comes down to what she is interested in, what she may be looking for, and what works in her life. Don't take it personally if you ain't it for some of them.

_____________________________

“The more you love, the more you can love—and the more intensely you love. Nor is there any limit on how many you can love. If a person had time enough, he could love all of that majority who are decent and just.”
- Robert Heinlein

(in reply to GQponyboy)

Post #: 15

RE: Age Limits - 12/14/2005 7:34:46 AM

MissA

Posts: 192
Joined: 6/19/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: collaredlilone

this girl i guess found a Master who really only had the age limit of 18 with me. he found me very rare at 19 when collared that i knew exactly what i was doing and what i wanted in the lifestyle. some frown about my age group but i do understand why. some just do not understand what they are getting into or do not have a clue what they really want. i have wanted to be a r/l slave since the age of 13. so i have read and learned a long time.
i guess it all goes to respect and your knowledge of things. but yes i know its hard when you feel like your given no chance. before Master i was turned down by many and its all because you have not found the right Master or Mistress.
i hope i helped
lil one

I can relate lilone, I got into the lifestyle actively in real time at the age of 18 although I was researching it for myself and learning before then. By the time I'm 28 I'll have a decade of real time experience and I know there will still be people who look at that age and think "she knows nothing about BDSM yet." Being that my husband and I have an age difference we always get it from one side or the other - people in my age range feel he's too old and people in his age range feel I'm too young (meaning "inexperienced"). I wish more people would take the time to get to know someone and not dismiss solely on the basis of age. Sometimes age IS just a number.

~Ms. A~

_____________________________

Life is not measured in the number of breaths you take, but by the moments that take your breath away ~Author Unknown~
My Domain

(in reply to collaredlilone)

Post #: 16

RE: Age Limits - 12/14/2005 8:05:24 AM

thetammyjo

Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline

I started getting active in the organized kink community in NYC when I was 22 -- at 36 I have 14 years of public experience; before that I had a few years of knowing what I was doing and trying to do it SSC and before that I was doing this BDSM without knowing what it was.

I got Fox soon after he turned 19 -- he'd known what this all was 7 years before that and had been "owned" before and learned Japanese rope bondage from an expert in Boston before he was the legal age (he, like many younger people, did lie to get information; I'm not happy with that knowledge but that's his past and I can understand the hunger for information).

So age does not equal experience nor does it equal maturity -- I've met very inexperienced and very immature kink folks in their 50s who acted like they were 4 year olds or junior high schoolers when they got into "groups" at munches and play parties.

However, none of this changes the simple fact that age limits are like all other limits and preferences: individual and should be respected.

_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to MissA)

Post #: 17

RE: Age Limits - 12/14/2005 10:02:34 AM

fastlane

Posts: 2159
Joined: 5/26/2005
Status: offline

I don't have an age preference....I just want them to still be breathing!

_____________________________

Just because it hurts, doesn't necessarily make it a bad thing.

(in reply to thetammyjo)

Post #: 18

RE: Age Limits - 12/14/2005 10:32:43 AM

arson982

Posts: 69
Joined: 12/2/2005
Status: offline

My Mistress is 601 and I am 48 and I another Mistress that would love to have me and she is 66

(in reply to fastlane)

Post #: 19

RE: Age Limits - 12/14/2005 11:25:16 AM

DarknessCalls

Posts: 4
Joined: 1/18/2004
Status: offline

quote:

used to feel that way too. i'm 26.. and sometimes people thinking i was "too young" irked me. But... the truth of the matter is a lot of times age does play a big part in a person's overall life view and experience and maturity.

it's true there are people who are in their younger twenties and teens being "wise beyond their years".. and it's true that there are people who are in their 50's who are "as reckless as the stereotypical party-dorm college student"..

But..

Well.. anyway... would you want someone who was 88 as a Mistress, GQponyboy?

Sadly age does make the difference. A very nice subbie couldn't deal with the fact that her son was only five years younger than I. She had him when she was 16, so the difference in years wasn't that great but for some people it is a big thing.

I, for one, have no problem with age differences because I'm middle aged. Still, I would rather deal with a 57 year old than a 24 year old as the maturity level simply isn't there. Are there some exceptions, YES, would I fudge a bit if I found the right person, probably. but there would have to be some pretty powerful mittigating factors.

(in reply to ragdoll)

Post #: 20

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