LadiesBladewing
Posts: 944
Joined: 8/31/2005
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We've found there to be compatibility between our "vanilla" lives and our alternative lives -- to the point where there is really only "life". I really believe that we shape our lives by what we are -and- by what we fear -- and that we create divisions because of the struggle to integrating these things within ourselves. There isn't any reason to give up anything that you want to be a part of -- it just becomes a matter of learning how to manage it.
Our household crosses through several alternative lifestyles, including M/s. We've never had an issue with co-workers, and I think that is because we, as individuals, have always had firm boundaries about what is suitable to discuss with co-workers and what isn't. We don't share our dating/sex lives with people at work. This includes the private levels of our M/s life. Even though I wore a full collar every day to work for several years, I never made a big deal about it, and never announced its meaning or tried to explain it to my co-workers. For those who asked, it was a gift from one whom I loved dearly, and I enjoyed wearing it. To me, that was all the explaination that anyone needed about my private life (and I don't ask about their private lives, either.) These days, we try to use collaring options that allow our servants to maintain their connection to their life with us while not drawing a lot of unnecessary attention while at work.
Even when we -weren't- in the D/s aspects of this life, SR, PD, LEB and I had plenty of other alternative perspectives to work from (not the least of which was that there was the 4 of us where most folks came in pairs unless you added unmentionables). We didn't share our sex lives with co-workers, and didn't explain how we were all inter-related to those whom we worked with (unless the individuals crossed paths with us in other areas). When it came time for company parties, we have all gone to the parties. We didn't explain whom we were bringing and why... we sent in our RSVP for whomever would be in town, and we just brought whomever was available to go... sometimes one of us, sometimes two or three, and a couple of times all of us were in the same place at the same time to go. These days, we're working for a company where our holiday parties are done during work hours, so nobody goes but whomever is employed there. SR and I are in the same department, but different sections... we have -yet- to be able to share a holiday party together, because each of our sections celebrates separately. But when we had our department party, we took each other. At the same time, we kept PDA's respectful... a quick kiss, hug, holding hands.... No tongues down one another's throats, etc... and we danced together -- even slow dances -- without anyone saying a word. We didn't drink heavily, didn't participate in crass jokes and the "gossip train", had some awesome conversations, and even discussed some controversial topics from our strange perspective... and came out of our company parties with as much or more respect than before the party.
Our families know about our spiritual divergence from the norm, our gender divergence, our family-size/style divergence, and our D/s divergence as well. We've visited family with our servants and their unmentionables, taken the whole brood to family reunions, etc. In being completely comfortable with ourselves, and completely unapologetic about our choices, while still respecting the dignity and mores of the people with whom we associate and being present but not pushy about who and what we are, we've managed to fit comfortably and without giving stress to those whom we care about in the work, vanilla and multiple lifestyle worlds.
Lady Zephyr
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Mixing Vanilla & BDSM - 
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