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Reaching Your Emotional Core... - 10/9/2008 6:54:15 AM   
OttersSwim


Posts: 2860
Joined: 9/1/2008
Status: offline 		So subbie folks, I am wondering, if play can bring you to your emotional core, what that core consists of...and how long you stay there?

Last night, Milady and I had a pretty heavy session (for me) where I was brought to tears and frankly quite a bit beyond.  It was the first time I had ever asked her to stop (not safeword which we have and I did not use), but pleading with her to stop.  She of course did not and it got even more intense.

For me, it was like a bucket of water tipping over and all of a sudden I was awash in emotion and in this place where the tears just kept on going even after we stopped.  She was wonderful in her aftercare, but it took several hours before I could stop crying...it wasn't a bad place, but just pure raw emotion flowing out of me.

I felt totally drained after and slept like the dead last night.  This morning, I feel more grounded than I thought I would, but still a bit tired.  She said that such reactions are not unusual...and so I started wondering...

Have you ever reached your emotional core through play?
If so, what was it like and how did you react?
How long did you stay there?
Was it a good or a bad experience?





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RE: Reaching Your Emotional Core... - 10/9/2008 7:06:52 AM   
ChampagneMojito


Posts: 77
Joined: 4/8/2008
From: UK
Status: offline
That's a really interesting question. I guess, I thought I have, but only to find a deeper place from subsequent play. But I have most definitely reached an emotional place that was intense and beyond something i could access myself. There have been times when it has almost felt like an out of body experience such was my unfamiliarity with it. I think most of all it was incredibly humbling and part of the progression of my submission. It lingered for quite a while and i felt it was a good experience, i may have felt unsure but never ill at ease.

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I, with a deeper instinct, choose a man who compels my strength, who makes enormous demands on me, who does not doubt my courage or my toughness, who does not believe me naïve or innocent, who has the courage to treat me like a woman. ~Anaïs Nin

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RE: Reaching Your Emotional Core... - 10/9/2008 7:26:39 AM   
slaveluci


Posts: 4294
Joined: 3/2/2007
From: Little Rock, AR
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: OttersSwim
Have you ever reached your emotional core through play?
If so, what was it like and how did you react?
How long did you stay there?
Was it a good or a bad experience?

I'm not sure I reached my "emotional core," so to speak but I had an experience very similar to yours the first time Master and I were together.  I had no prior experience with bondage, whipping, etc.  I had never been tied, gagged, blindfolded or any of those things. 

That night when He had me strip, then gagged and blindfolded me and put on the leather ankle and wrist cuffs He'd had made for me and restrained my hands over my head, spread wide.........there I stood with my bare body tied and waiting for my first experience.  He told me afterward that He did not hold back.  He gave me the whipping/beating of a lifetime and I took it and I loved it. 

Aways in, I began to sob.  As we've never used safewords, He stopped to ask if I was OK or I needed to stop.  I can still remember the tears pouring out onto that scarf He'd blindfolded me with until it was soaked and me, barely able to form sentences, telling Him "No, please don't stop.  I'm OK."  I felt better at that moment than I can describe.  It was absolutely the most CATHARTIC experience I have ever had then or since.  That's the best word I can find to try to describe it.

When it was over, I thought I'd only been bound and whipped for about 15 minutes.  It was many, many times that long.  I was covered with welts and bruises and had tear-stained cheeks and red eyes but I felt like I "knew myself" better at that moment than ever before.  I had finally experienced something I'd always wanted and, most importantly, experienced it with the One I had waited for.  I guess that was about as close to my "emotional core" as I've been and it was mind-blowing................luci

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RE: Reaching Your Emotional Core... - 10/9/2008 8:15:52 AM   
Subductrssss


Posts: 97
Joined: 9/28/2008
Status: offline 		I am an emotional creature and wear those emotions plainly for all to see, in my eyes and in my body language.

I cry easily and I scared the hell out of someone a few years back as I cried while we made love, I mean sobbed, it did not hurt, it was not bad, it was just simply such an intense experience I had to release through more than just orgasm, it's like if I did not let it all out I was going to die.

I am not a masochist or a pain puppy but when I for some reason have bottled up emotions I will ask the person I am with to take me beyond my limits so I can find that release that I need for if I don't then I hit the panic/anxiety stage and that is not good.

Emotional release does wonders, better than xanax for me and I think that is part of the reason I search so hard and hold to the belief of the One out there for  me as I NEED that person for many things and this is only part of it.

< Message edited by Subductrssss -- 10/9/2008 8:17:57 AM >

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The reality of the other person lies not in what he reveals to you but in what he cannot reveal to you. Therefore, if you would understand him, listen not to what he says but rather to what he does not say.
Kahlil Gibran

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RE: Reaching Your Emotional Core... - 10/9/2008 9:04:31 AM   
WildHoneyPie


Posts: 60
Joined: 9/7/2008
Status: offline 		what I love about bdsm (among many things) is that it is always a portal to my core. I am never more honest with myself about who I am than when I am submitting.  The things that most allow me to let go of my social self are the things that bring me to that place.  The first time Daddy had me get down on the floor and he put his feet on my back and neck, I felt like all of my emotions boiled up and then flowed right out of me until I was just empty and at peace.  Now, when I am feeling overwhelmed by my life, I tell Daddy that I need to get down on the floor and he knows exactly what I mean, that I need to peel away all the layers of life and get to the core where I can just be. 

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There was always love in Daddy´s hands.

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RE: Reaching Your Emotional Core... - 10/9/2008 9:43:20 AM   
ranja


Posts: 2111
Joined: 11/1/2007
Status: offline 		Quote:
Have you ever reached your emotional core through play?
If so, what was it like and how did you react?
How long did you stay there?
Was it a good or a bad experience?

-Yes through play and also alone and in a very nonsexual situations it is a state of mind i can find by myself too.
-Honesty and beauty help me get there and i feel like i have given myself away and intense joy and a feeling like my heart could burst with greatfulnes, it usually makes me cry
-it can last anything from a few seconds to 15 minutes then it ebbs away and life goes on
- it is most most wonderful...i prefer it to an orgasm...altho an orgasm can trigger it
-I love feeling it and i am very lucky i get there quite often

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RE: Reaching Your Emotional Core... - 10/9/2008 10:05:55 AM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		I wouldn't call it my emotional core, I'm more likely to call it a catharsis, a release of stress.

He's only gotten me there once, he checked to make sure I was okay, and then went on. One thing I will say, is that afterwards I was like a wet rag, totally limp and slept for hours.

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RE: Reaching Your Emotional Core... - 10/9/2008 10:18:37 AM   
pixelslave


Posts: 1444
Joined: 8/19/2006
Status: offline 		Otter,
I'm with DesFIP.  It sounds to me as though you experienced some kind of catharsis where you let go of a great deal of accumulated emotions over something; perhaps even a variety of things.  If you take an inventory of how you feel about things which have been troubling you, you may discover you no longer feel the same.  I suggest you try to think about things which you've previously been carrying some guilt or hurt around with you about and see if you still feel the same.  You may discover the intensity of those feelings have lessened if not entirely disappeared.
 
 - pixel
 
 Lady Pact's bleaux
 under consideration by each other
 


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RE: Reaching Your Emotional Core... - 10/9/2008 2:52:20 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		I have a few times. It's a catharsis, a release of everything I've built up, kept bottled. I'm not normally an emotional person and I don't really share a lot with people so when I've been played with and it's been hard I tend to let go and it all just comes pouring out.

For me this is a positive thing and helps me to deal with life again and to unlighten the load a bit. It's a huge stress-reliever for me.

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RE: Reaching Your Emotional Core... - 10/10/2008 8:12:39 AM   
OttersSwim


Posts: 2860
Joined: 9/1/2008
Status: offline 		Thanks for the wonderful comments everyone.  I agree that it was very much a catharsis experience.  I think we all of us have a pool of emotion deep down inside us - perhaps even several depending on life events and severity of experience in life.  We use those pools in either a positive or a negative way and we siphon emotion from them.  I have several of those in me and while I have been through significant counciling to stop the impact of the negative expression of those emotions, the pools remain. 

What I experienced definately tapped into emotion from several of those pools and some of it drained away.  Pixel, you are right in that I do feel differently about several things now - it is very much like a weight has been lifted a bit.

I am also wondering if anyone has heard of Primal Scream Therapy?  The theory is that an intense release of emotion can really help a person to empty themselves and purge trauma and negative experience.  I think this part of BDSM, may have correllations to PST. 

I am also wondering how a Dominant experiences this side of things - either when their sub goes into it, or if they actually tap into anything like it?


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RE: Reaching Your Emotional Core... - 10/10/2008 1:05:33 PM   
littlemisssnarf


Posts: 85
Joined: 8/28/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: OttersSwim

So subbie folks, I am wondering, if play can bring you to your emotional core, what that core consists of...and how long you stay there?


simple answer - play no.... discovery time yes!

meaning a combination of play and talk..... after that play just heightens or takes me back to that first "oh my god" this is what it's all about moment!

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RE: Reaching Your Emotional Core... - 10/10/2008 3:01:35 PM   
calicowgirl


Posts: 98
Joined: 9/5/2006
Status: offline 		Pain in play helps tremendously with emotional release for me. I tend to get the shakes very bad after play that is intense, either physcially or emotionally. After an intense scene at a dungeon where I openly sobbed with the release(I hate crying in public) I couldn't stop shaking. Usually only lasts just a little bit and then I am good to go. The person I was with at the time was wonderful in his aftercare even going as far as using my blowdryer to blow hot air into the blankets he had tucked around me. lol It was a wondrous experience, one I will never forget. I have had a couple like that in which I feel like a clean slate afterward. It is a great thing!

Cali

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RE: Reaching Your Emotional Core... - 10/10/2008 7:43:25 PM   
oceanwynds


Posts: 1044
Joined: 8/24/2006
Status: offline 		Yes, i too have experienced this emotional release. There was something that i had a hard time doing due to a violent gang rape. Sir helped me through this but in doses, until many months later it was finally released.  i will be forever grateful to him. The only sadness left behind is that i couldn't get past this trauma when i was married.

oceanwynds

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RE: Reaching Your Emotional Core... - 10/10/2008 11:29:40 PM   
bluefireroses


Posts: 37
Joined: 8/22/2008
Status: offline 		my first Dom took me to that place several times, and He simply let me cry while giving me some pretty awesome aftercare. He explained to me that D/s opens doors to things we think are closed, and emotions that we don't tap into on a daily basis. When we release these emotions, it is a very intense experience. i remember once falling asleep while i was still crying. When i woke up, i felt more like the me i had been years before any of those things happened.

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RE: Reaching Your Emotional Core... - 10/11/2008 7:00:31 AM   
Rever


Posts: 43
Joined: 8/12/2008
Status: offline 		Whats an emotional core, I'm confused

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RE: Reaching Your Emotional Core... - 10/11/2008 7:03:53 AM   
Raechard


Posts: 3513
Joined: 3/10/2007
From: S.E. London U.K.
Status: offline 		It's like an apple core but it tastes like emotion.

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RE: Reaching Your Emotional Core... - 10/11/2008 7:46:33 AM   
Rever


Posts: 43
Joined: 8/12/2008
Status: offline 		I don't think I really have one, since my low self esteem has taped it dry

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RE: Reaching Your Emotional Core... - 10/11/2008 9:31:41 AM   
Raechard


Posts: 3513
Joined: 3/10/2007
From: S.E. London U.K.
Status: offline 		We must rehydrate it with outrageous lies about your greatness. King Rever. With a dry emotional core there cannot be the steam element of self esteem which is in abundance amongst those with fiery personalities. The fiery personality heats up the emotional core leading to the production of self steam; this has been rephrased self esteem long since. Your emotional core is dry because you tried to tap it directly rather than waiting for the steam production synonymous with self esteem that is slowly replenished henceforth.

< Message edited by Raechard -- 10/11/2008 9:32:42 AM >

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えへまにんへえや
Nobody wants to listen to the same song over and over again!

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RE: Reaching Your Emotional Core... - 10/11/2008 9:34:14 AM   
OttersSwim


Posts: 2860
Joined: 9/1/2008
Status: offline 		Not sure what you two are on about, or what it has to do with my topic, but thanks for the bump...

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RE: Reaching Your Emotional Core... - 10/11/2008 9:41:34 AM   
NumberSix


Posts: 1378
Joined: 12/30/2006
Status: offline 		Your emotional core is a nebulous cloud, it is no cement block.

What is there exists in that very moment of space time, and is frangible and motile.

The moment's internal and external factors will drive it.  There is no constancy.

Ron

P.S.  This is all bullshit, I just made it up, so women could cream their jeans.
I'll let you know how it works out.

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"Who are you?"
"The new Number Two."
"Who is Number One?"
"You are Number Six.".
"I am not a number — I am a free man!"

Be seeing you...

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