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Service Oriented subs??? - 10/10/2008 12:37:42 AM   
whycantipost


Posts: 18
Joined: 10/9/2008
Status: offline 		Ok. i have a little trouble understanding this concept.

on my other post it was described as
quote:

ORIGINAL: tsatske

quote:

what exactly does it mean to say that one is a service oriented sub? as opposed to what?


It means doing the dishes.



now i know she meant that in a more broader sense, but i am still confused. ok.

Service oriented subs enjoy performing services... but more closely related to house duties?
this is what context clues would lead me to believe.

i know nothing said about subs or any one type of people can be said to be true for the whole, but do service oriented subs only serve this purpose?

i mean i just dont understand this concept.

as far as i understand, if asked to do something, considered a "service" or not, i would think a sub would do it. i would atleast.

So then what does it mean to say one isnt a service oriented sub? that you dont enjoy housework??? that you want to have a life??? i dont understand
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RE: Service Oriented subs??? - 10/10/2008 12:51:15 AM   
NuevaVida


Posts: 6707
Joined: 8/5/2008
Status: offline 		There are all kinds of submissives and dominants, who thrive from different things. There is no one set way that everyone should follow. OK, so you would suck off your dom's friends at their poker tournament and the submissive over there wouldn't. So someone else would happily live as a maid and butler and cook and nanny but hate sex...and you wouldn't thrive that way...and so on.

Just some examples. Fulfillment in life comes when we are thriving, and doing what we love. And what makes each person thrive is different. So people choose partners they think they can thrive with. If I thrive by doing household service without sex (maybe I have a lot of issues to work through about sex and can't go there...maybe I don't like sex...maybe for other reasons I just don't want sex in my life), then it's best I find a partner who doesn't want that from me.

You say you would do something, service oriented or not. But this world is a big place with a gazzillion people-types in it. Not everyone lives as you. Not everyone has the same definitions as you. Not everyone gets off from the same things as you. You know that thing called limits / limitations? (I can't believe I'm saying this - Hell really has frozen over, folks) A lot of folks have them, and they have their own personal reasons for having them. Right now I have a list of them longer than my arm. If that doesn't fit your description of submissive, well that's ok. I've been there, done that, got the tee-shirt, and the only description I need to worry about right now is what makes my heart happy.

But yes, to get to the point of your question, it is my understanding that service-oriented submissives focus on household type services. Sissyboy slaves focus on being sissyboys. Sex slaves focus on sex. Daddy/little girl dynamics focus on that. Puppygirls thrive from being puppies...and so on. Others thrive by doing all of the above and more. The important thing is to define yourself, not by what some label says you should be, but by what makes you thrive and tick and happy and fulfilled.

Viva diversity, yes? :)

_____________________________

Live Simply. Love Generously. Care Deeply. Speak Kindly.



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RE: Service Oriented subs??? - 10/10/2008 1:41:44 AM   
MasterFireMaam


Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: whycantipost

So then what does it mean to say one isnt a service oriented sub? that you dont enjoy housework??? that you want to have a life??? i dont understand



Usually, but not always, there are two areas of service, sexual and non-sexual. Usually, the non-sexual relates to household duties or personal assistant duties. Some people don't call the sexual service 'service', some do. It depends on the person.

For me, a service oriented slave is one who has the intent of service behind what they do...and I confess that I usually see them as non-sexual, even though I have a slave in my life who does offer that as a service and does it in such a way that I see it as such.

Master Fire


_____________________________

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RE: Service Oriented subs??? - 10/10/2008 2:43:49 AM   
MRandme


Posts: 661
Joined: 9/24/2007
Status: offline 		Hi,

Although i am a slave, not a sub, i am going to take a whack at this... i am very service oriented and always have been. For me, it means that i gain happiness from helping/serving others, no matter who they are. Whether it is helping a customer find what they need in the store, picking up something someone dropped on the street, opening a door for someone when their arms are full -- it gives me pleasure to do these things.

In my relationship, it means that i am not only happy to serve my Master sexually (wooohoo!) but to do other things for Him as well. To wash Him in the shower and dry Him off after, to put some clothes in the laundry for Him, whatever He needs done. Oh, and i detest doing housework for myself, but when i am doing it for Him... totally different! i want to make His life easier, smoother. If He called me to His home to do nothing but clean for Him or help Him with yard work, i would do that with a smile on my face. i don't have to be on my back (or hands and knees, or bent over or... where was i?) to serve Him and please Him, i can do that all the time and still bring a smile to His face, which is in turn, my reward.

It can mean washing the dishes. It does, sometimes. But it is more than that. It is the idea of making His life easier, that my presence makes things a little easier for Him in some way.

regards,

g

_____________________________

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Sweet be your dreams, may your happiness swell,
I'll leave you here, for my journey begins
i've gone to be with Him again...

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RE: Service Oriented subs??? - 10/10/2008 3:09:47 AM   
fairerthanshe


Posts: 3035
Joined: 1/18/2007
Status: offline 		Greetings g,

Beautifully said.  I think you encapsulated what this is like for me as well.  (though I do love cleaning in general) 

There is something peaceful and fulfilling to serve him in the capacity of taking care of his home and his person.  I am most content and serene when I am allowed the privilege of keeping his home, dressing him, serving him in the ways he wants to be served. 

While we have a truly amazing sexual relationship as well, the service part is something which fulfills needs for both of us.  It is symbiotic and holistic.

well wishes ~ fairer than she


_____________________________

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RE: Service Oriented subs??? - 10/10/2008 7:01:09 AM   
natasha66


Posts: 321
Joined: 10/14/2006
From: NJ
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MRandme

Hi,

Although i am a slave, not a sub, i am going to take a whack at this... i am very service oriented and always have been. For me, it means that i gain happiness from helping/serving others, no matter who they are. Whether it is helping a customer find what they need in the store, picking up something someone dropped on the street, opening a door for someone when their arms are full -- it gives me pleasure to do these things.

In my relationship, it means that i am not only happy to serve my Master sexually (wooohoo!) but to do other things for Him as well. To wash Him in the shower and dry Him off after, to put some clothes in the laundry for Him, whatever He needs done. Oh, and i detest doing housework for myself, but when i am doing it for Him... totally different! i want to make His life easier, smoother. If He called me to His home to do nothing but clean for Him or help Him with yard work, i would do that with a smile on my face. i don't have to be on my back (or hands and knees, or bent over or... where was i?) to serve Him and please Him, i can do that all the time and still bring a smile to His face, which is in turn, my reward.

It can mean washing the dishes. It does, sometimes. But it is more than that. It is the idea of making His life easier, that my presence makes things a little easier for Him in some way.

regards,

g


Are we one and the same person? LOL.  I could not agree more.  I am also very service oriented - not just toward my Master.  I LIKE doing things that make another's life easier.  It pleases me to do so.  As long as what I am asked is within my limits to do, I will do so happily.

_____________________________

"If you bother me again I shall visit you in the small hours of the night and put a bat up your nightdress".
~Basil Fawlty

Collared June 4th, 2008
Love is giving him the power to destroy you, but trusting him not to.



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RE: Service Oriented subs??? - 10/10/2008 7:02:28 AM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		I'd probably be labeled a service oriented slave..but aren't all slaves? That's another topic..anyway...

For me it means I serve him in all ways, I obey, I work to make his life easier. It could mean serving to bring him pleasure...sucking his cock or it could mean to be of use...washing the dishes.

It's doing whatever I can for him in whatever way he wants and not just sexually but in all ways.

It's about being helpful, being of use to him.

Why do I do this? The sheer satisfaction of knowing how happy it makes him..which in turn makes me  happy. 

When one truly cares for their partner in life don't you want to know that their life is enhanced by you, that you make their life just a little easier, a little brighter?



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RE: Service Oriented subs??? - 10/10/2008 7:08:34 AM   
antipode


Posts: 1787
Joined: 4/19/2004
Status: offline 		no profile....

(in reply to whycantipost)
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RE: Service Oriented subs??? - 10/10/2008 7:16:32 AM   
leadership527


Posts: 5026
Joined: 6/2/2008
Status: offline 		Well, think of it this way... Long before she wore my collar, my wife has always taken a great deal of enjoyment from doing those little domestic things for me. While she may or may not always have liked to cook dinner, she always liked to provide me food. Ditto with other regular household chores. It was a part of how she showed her love for me. That model really isn't all that uncommon for vanilla wives. OK, now extrapolate that same mindset into a D/s relationship and... *presto*.... service sub...

The more general form of "service" that MasterFire used I have a hard time with. Not that I disagree, it's just by that definition, anyone who is not a service sub isn't a sub at all in my book. If whatever it is that you are doing is not about your dominant, but rather about yourself then it's more like masturbating in a mirror than having a D/s relationship to me.

_____________________________

~Jeff

I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
I want a joyous, loving, respectful relationship where the male is in charge and deserves to be. - DavanKael

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RE: Service Oriented subs??? - 10/10/2008 7:43:15 AM   
MadameMarque


Posts: 1128
Joined: 3/19/2005
Status: offline 		Service-oriented means that one's pleasure or satisfaction is derived from being of service, in itself.  The exchange of serving someone else's needs or pleasure, and their receiving the fruit of that service, fulfills a drive in the service-oriented person.

The service could be anything - it doesn't have to be domestic help.  An architect might design a building, a computer expert might give computer maintenance, a tailor might create custom clothing.  There are many services, too, that might be those of a personal assistant, such as making travel arrangements for another, managing their schedule.  Personal trainer, stylist...

...dedicating one's attention, energy, personal talent, and time to another, only to make their life better - service oriented submissives are driven to seek this satisfaction.

So, when you see someone asking for a submissive to do their gardening or accounting, and you think, "why would I want to do that?  Do it yourself," then you don't understand the service-oriented mind frame, but there are people who long for someone to graciously receive their service.

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RE: Service Oriented subs??? - 10/10/2008 8:31:48 AM   
whycantipost


Posts: 18
Joined: 10/9/2008
Status: offline 		like i said in a different post, my real profile is under vmarie086..

but anywayz.. ok with all that being said... are not ALL slaves and subs service oriented.
is there such thing as a sub who isnt service oriented at all???

wouldnt this just be a bedroom subbie?

but even then, they perform services... So what i collect from this discussion is that services oriented subs get off on providing service. whether sexual or not...

ok. i thought that was basically the def. of being submissive. but i guess you can be a submissive person and want someone to control you but have absolutely no desire to make them happy or please them??? That is a weird thought to me. but to each his own...

or maybe im thinking about this wrong... then again its not like the words matter... you should just do you, but i do see a lot of people claiming to be service oriented subs

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RE: Service Oriented subs??? - 10/10/2008 8:39:21 AM   
Madame4a


Posts: 2045
Joined: 2/4/2008
From: Washington, DC area
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: whycantipost


but anywayz.. ok with all that being said... are not ALL slaves and subs service oriented.
is there such thing as a sub who isnt service oriented at all???




No, not at all... and I agree completely with MadameMarque's definition -- that is how I'd define a service oriented submissive or slave.  I find most people are not wired that way but are actually wired to serve, in order to receive something from it -- including praise.  Despite how one might view slaves and submissives -- my experience is that there are some that are selfish and only in it for what they can get back. 

And I know.. isn't everyone.. but if one calls themselves service oriented, its important to remember its really going to mean something specific to most people.

< Message edited by Madame4a -- 10/10/2008 8:49:46 AM >

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When I dream, I'm doing you all night
Scratches all down my back to keep me right on

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RE: Service Oriented subs??? - 10/10/2008 8:50:04 AM   
RCdc


Posts: 8674
Status: offline 		Hello vmarie
I am just prefacing this with the usual 'this is just one of a thousand ideas on the subject.
Service submissives are usually performing a non sexual task.  Now this could be housework, like laudry.  It could be bookwork or accountacy.  It is a service they perform.  The term is simply there to identify sexual to non sexual submission.  I also wanted to address this point.
quote:

 
ORIGINAL: whycantipost

but anywayz.. ok with all that being said... are not ALL slaves and subs service oriented.
is there such thing as a sub who isnt service oriented at all???


I would say no.  All submissive types perform service/a serivce.  But then so do dominants.  Service does not = submission.  Try to see the difference between a service and service submission.

quote:

wouldnt this just be a bedroom subbie?


No.  Bedroom submission is just that.  It is different to service submission.

quote:

but even then, they perform services... So what i collect from this discussion is that services oriented subs get off on providing service. whether sexual or not...


Not always.

quote:

ok. i thought that was basically the def. of being submissive. but i guess you can be a submissive person and want someone to control you but have absolutely no desire to make them happy or please them??? That is a weird thought to me. but to each his own...


See above.

quote:

or maybe im thinking about this wrong... then again its not like the words matter... you should just do you, but i do see a lot of people claiming to be service oriented subs


Absolutely.  I am going to be generalistic, but the majority are male and are seperating their submission from their sexual submission.  It is such a broad scope of people, there are many labels and my advice is to ask the individual directly, but it is a good idea to have a rough idea anyway.
 
And welcome to the forums.
 
the.dark.

< Message edited by Darcyandthedark -- 10/10/2008 8:51:18 AM >

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RE: Service Oriented subs??? - 10/10/2008 8:58:15 AM   
Mercnbeth


Posts: 11766
Status: offline 		after browsing an online dictionary and thesaurus, it appears that the words serve and submit are not interchangeable.  one might serve someone by submitting to them, but submitting to another's will does not mean one would automatically serve them in some specific capacity.
 
submission doesn't have to be about service.  it can mean simply mean following someone else's rules, which doesn't necessarily include any particular service to the one making the rules...merely obedience and compliance.
 
this slave has functioned as a "service sub" in the past, however, it was referred to as "volunteer", and there was nothing even remotely sexual about it, or the satisfaction that it provided.
 
clear as mud?

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RE: Service Oriented subs??? - 10/10/2008 10:10:33 AM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		I am not service oriented. I get no enjoyment from doing his laundry. I don't get a feeling of satisfaction for helping him this way. I do it because it needs to be done, but it doesn't do anything for me.  I don't get upset if he pours himself a glass of water instead of having me do it, and my understanding is that service oriented subs do feel as if they fail if the dominant doesn't let them serve.

As far as wiring for submission goes; not all subs are in this to serve. Not all subs are in this to get ordered about. Some people prefer doing things without being asked to make their dominant's life easier. Others need to be ordered, they get nothing from doing it on their own. And some of us are in this for emotional transparency. I know there are other general categories but those are the only ones that come to mind at the moment.

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RE: Service Oriented subs??? - 10/10/2008 10:20:00 AM   
celticlord2112


Posts: 5732
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: whycantipost
So then what does it mean to say one isnt a service oriented sub? that you dont enjoy housework??? that you want to have a life??? i dont understand

It means the sub in question puts a priority on getting laid.

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RE: Service Oriented subs??? - 10/10/2008 10:39:29 AM   
dawntreader


Posts: 3045
Joined: 11/23/2006
Status: offline 		i am curious about the LABEL given to a sexual sub/slave who did not perform the service aspect of the household herself but directed the hired help?

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RE: Service Oriented subs??? - 10/10/2008 10:42:16 AM   
whycantipost


Posts: 18
Joined: 10/9/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: celticlord2112


quote:

ORIGINAL: whycantipost
So then what does it mean to say one isnt a service oriented sub? that you dont enjoy housework??? that you want to have a life??? i dont understand

It means the sub in question puts a priority on getting laid.



priority??? so meaning she values that highly...

i feel like i am asking alot of questions on a trivial matter, but really it does matter to me to see what different kind of subs there are...

and im thinking i might wanna change my profile, based on that response and others...

i personally feel like the only thing i would get out of nonsexual service acts is the fact that its what He wanted and it pleases Him

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RE: Service Oriented subs??? - 10/10/2008 10:49:56 AM   
RCdc


Posts: 8674
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: celticlord2112


quote:

ORIGINAL: whycantipost
So then what does it mean to say one isnt a service oriented sub? that you dont enjoy housework??? that you want to have a life??? i dont understand

It means the sub in question puts a priority on getting laid.


Can I ask this so I understand you correctly CL?  So you suggest that any s-type who does not identify as service orientated is only after sex for themselves?
 
the.dark.

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love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

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RE: Service Oriented subs??? - 10/10/2008 10:54:03 AM   
RCdc


Posts: 8674
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: dawntreader

i am curious about the LABEL given to a sexual sub/slave who did not perform the service aspect of the household herself but directed the hired help?


Personally,I would call her the by her/his name.
(oh ya know I'm teasing you wounderfulone)
 
If I am at home and Darcy gets in hired help, it's my service to him that I direct the help.  It doesn't change my orientation, I am simply obeying.
 
the.dark.

_____________________________
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love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

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