Can Two Dominants (Who Are Not A Couple) Co-own a Submissive?

Can Two Dominants (Who Are Not A Couple) Co-own a Submissive? (Full Version)

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Blaakmaan -> Can Two Dominants (Who Are Not A Couple) Co-own a Submissive? (10/10/2008 10:05:21 AM)
I have a theoretical question--perhaps a slightly strange question--that's of some immediate practical importance. The question is: Can two Dominants who are not a couple co-own a submissive (if "own" is the proper term for a Dominant's relationship to a submissive)? I can just imagine that many, especially the old-school purists, will find such an idea to be heretical. However, it is not at all unusual in life for two people who are not a couple to co-own something: a car, a business, real estate, etc. Assuming the two Dominants could come to some sort of understanding about where they want to go with the sub and their mutual "rights" (for want of a better term), so as to avoid giving her conflicting goals, commands and instructions, why can't two Dominants co-own a submissive? I would appreciate some opinions and thoughts beyond the chorus of "Oh, no!" that is sure to follow. And, trust me, you can be sure that if there was a better option available, I wouldn't be asking the question.

RCdc -> RE: Can Two Dominants (Who Are Not A Couple) Co-own a Submissive? (10/10/2008 10:07:51 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Blaakmaan I have a theoretical question--perhaps a slightly strange question--that's of some immediate practical importance. The question is: Can two Dominants who are not a couple co-own a submissive (if "own" is the proper term for a Dominant's relationship to a submissive)? Yes they can. And it isn't such a theoretical question. the.dark.

Alexander48 -> RE: Can Two Dominants (Who Are Not A Couple) Co-own a Submissive? (10/10/2008 10:17:44 AM)
Yes, I have known of this happening before...although it certainly would not work with me! But that is just my opinion based on my monogamous nature. In a polyamorous situation I can see it happening easily. Alexander

missturbation -> RE: Can Two Dominants (Who Are Not A Couple) Co-own a Submissive? (10/10/2008 10:21:02 AM)
Yes, i hope. I plan on building myself a 'harem' of dominants lol.

faerytattoodgirl -> RE: Can Two Dominants (Who Are Not A Couple) Co-own a Submissive? (10/10/2008 10:21:06 AM)
its more common than you think...and half the time the other dom doesnt know the sub has someone else!

MissSCD -> RE: Can Two Dominants (Who Are Not A Couple) Co-own a Submissive? (10/10/2008 10:25:37 AM)
I have tried to do this a couple of times. Even with a close friend, it usually doesn't work. Dominants are Dominants. They want to rule the world. It is not a good situation for either of them, and I gaurantee that you will lose your friendship with the other Dom/me. *Regards, MissSCD*

rosanegra -> RE: Can Two Dominants (Who Are Not A Couple) Co-own a Submissive? (10/10/2008 10:27:38 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: faerytattoodgirl its more common than you think...and half the time the other dom doesnt know the sub has someone else! I am fairly sure the OP was implying a situation in which both Dominants were aware of each others existence. :P I have heard of this situation more often in the circumstance that the Dominant parties were male and female, as opposed to two males or two females. In my opinion all it requires is an ability to get past a certain element of jealousy and possessiveness. If you really want this situation, you can't let your ego get in the way. A part of me has to wonder why the need for this situation might arise.

JavamanTN -> RE: Can Two Dominants (Who Are Not A Couple) Co-own a Submissive? (10/10/2008 10:29:29 AM)
The first rule is, there aren't any rules... In short yeah, it can work. People are people however. So the co-dominants need to have an established understanding of how it's supposed to work. In my opinion this is easiest if one of the dominants is subordinate to the other. They don't have to be a couple for that to work. Don't kid yourself however, co-dominants are in a relationship with each other, even if there is no sexual attraction between them, even if they are the same sex and heterosexual. Good luck :-)

DesFIP -> RE: Can Two Dominants (Who Are Not A Couple) Co-own a Submissive? (10/10/2008 10:32:59 AM)
Sure. But the lines have to be clear. I think it would be easier if one is only interested in nonsexual service though. Because forbidding the sub to have any orgasms until she sees dom A in a month doesn't work if she's got a date with dom B next week. My gut feeling, which I freely admit is not based on any knowledge, is that it's most likely to occur if the first relationship is long distance.

Blaakmaan -> RE: Can Two Dominants (Who Are Not A Couple) Co-own a Submissive? (10/10/2008 10:47:54 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Darcyandthedark quote: ORIGINAL: Blaakmaan I have a theoretical question--perhaps a slightly strange question--that's of some immediate practical importance. The question is: Can two Dominants who are not a couple co-own a submissive (if "own" is the proper term for a Dominant's relationship to a submissive)? Yes they can. And it isn't such a theoretical question. the.dark. Hey, the.dark. Have you ever co-owned a sub or know of someone who has?

RCdc -> RE: Can Two Dominants (Who Are Not A Couple) Co-own a Submissive? (10/10/2008 10:58:39 AM)
I haven't co-owned no but yes I have known people that have been owned by more than one dominant who are not related by household/marriage/partnership etc. I have also known s-types owned by one specific dominant, who are allowed to play and submit to another. If I remember corectly, there is definately a couple of people who post here that have or have been in joint ownership contracts, but cannot for the life of me remember who. Maybe they will post. the.dark.

Madame4a -> RE: Can Two Dominants (Who Are Not A Couple) Co-own a Submissive? (10/10/2008 11:00:14 AM)
I've done it.. it sucked.. it was horrible.. I'd never do it again or recommend anyone do it... in the end, it was bad for both of us, but the one owned took on (self inflicted) all of the blame and guilt... it was horrible... I hate even thinking about it

CallaFirestormBW -> RE: Can Two Dominants (Who Are Not A Couple) Co-own a Submissive? (10/10/2008 11:08:26 AM)
As long as everyone is up-front about expectations, prioritization, and as long as the D-types talk amongst themselves about resolving issues so the s-type doesn't have to guess at what xhe's supposed to be doing and how xhe's supposed to prioritize, yeah, it will work out fine. We've had several successful ventures of this type. Calla Firestorm

joyride -> RE: Can Two Dominants (Who Are Not A Couple) Co-own a Submissive? (10/10/2008 11:16:29 AM)
i'm sure it could work, given the right people and circumstances. That being said, i think the most important factor is that everyone involved really want this type of relationship. Now perhaps i'm reading too much into this, and forgive me if i am, but the fact that you say this... quote: And, trust me, you can be sure that if there was a better option available, I wouldn't be asking the question. ...makes me think that you don't really want to have this type of relationship, you're only doing it because you see no other choice. If that's the way you feel, i'm afraid that the chances you'll feel resentment about the whole situation are pretty high.

MsAuthoritarian -> RE: Can Two Dominants (Who Are Not A Couple) Co-own a Submissive? (10/10/2008 11:42:45 AM)
I wanted to learn firsthand what it was like to be in a poly M/s relationship to decide if that type of relationship is indeed something I am open to. Rather than seeking out multiple slaves to experiment with, I talked to a friend of mine that had a poly M/s household, about the “in’s and out’s” of dealing with multiple slaves in the same household. Later he came to me and asked me if I would like to become co-dominant within his household. After a lot of discussion and negotiation I decided to give it a try as I thought, “hands on experience always trumps education through reading and/or discussion”. Luckily at the time I was able to actually stay in his house as my job allowed that freedom so I told him yes and set out for my new adventure. I learned a lot during my time in that household. Dealing with multiple slaves in one household was as challenging as it was rewarding though I must admit dealing with my friend/co-dominant was a much more difficult task and one that I will not be repeating any time soon <laughing>. The biggest problem that he and I had was that we had very different styles. As a result, we had to separate the roles and responsibilities within the household very carefully and we had to communicate daily to keep everything running smoothly. We had our share of disagreements but in the end we both always went with what was logically best for the household rather than our stubbornness so even though it took us debating to get there, we did eventually do the right thing <laughing>. I have no regrets from my time as co-dominant; however, I would not suggest it as a relationship dynamic that would be permanent. Even the most well-balanced dominants can have times of being stubborn, territorial and greedy; so why one would want to be in a position to have to debate constantly or give in constantly for an indefinite amount of time is beyond me. Though I think any type of relationship is workable if all parties involved are determined, communicate effectively and have the time and energy to invest in a dynamic that is much more complicated than the simple one dominant relationship. Good Luck! MsAuthoritarian

CreativeDominant -> RE: Can Two Dominants (Who Are Not A Couple) Co-own a Submissive? (10/10/2008 11:55:58 AM)
quote: Yes, i hope. I plan on building myself a 'harem' of dominants lol. quote: ORIGINAL: joyride i'm sure it could work, given the right people and circumstances. That being said, i think the most important factor is that everyone involved really want this type of relationship. Now perhaps i'm reading too much into this, and forgive me if i am, but the fact that you say this... quote: And, trust me, you can be sure that if there was a better option available, I wouldn't be asking the question. ...makes me think that you don't really want to have this type of relationship, you're only doing it because you see no other choice. If that's the way you feel, i'm afraid that the chances you'll feel resentment about the whole situation are pretty high. The above pretty much states what I think about the situation also. I could indeed see it happening if one D/s dynamic is non-sexual AND discipline styles are the same AND views of D/s are the same AND the dominants coordinate very well with each other. But frankly, it seems a situation more rife with the possibility of failures through misunderstanding, miscommunication, manipulation...let's face it; if the submissive knew she was to be punished by one, how helpful would it be to play up to the other one?...and power struggles than it seems to be a situation rife with the possibility of success. I can see a submissive being owned by one and being allowed to play/service another for a defined length of time with certain rules in place but there again, that is not co-ownership. I've never been in a co-ownership situation and frankly do not think, given what I know about myself...that there can definitely be a stubborn, possessive, contrary to another's authority overriding mine person beneath all this usual angelic nature...I'm not sure I could be. In fact, I am pretty sure I couldn't be.

pixidustpet -> RE: Can Two Dominants (Who Are Not A Couple) Co-own a Submissive? (10/10/2008 12:25:20 PM)
i'm currently owned/collared by two dominants. Daddy was the first to collar me. he and i have been involved for over a year and a half, and collared just over a year. since i moved several states away, its a long-distance-only relationship now. he doesnt like that i'm gone (physically) from him but it was the best for me, so he approves. i've known TheEngineer for going on 9 years now. we've been friends, occasional lovers, and last winter stuff just clicked more. he came and moved me to live with him in june. we're engaged to be married. he and Daddy know about one another. kitten

daddysliloneds -> RE: Can Two Dominants (Who Are Not A Couple) Co-own a Submissive? (10/10/2008 1:09:31 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MissSCD I have tried to do this a couple of times. Even with a close friend, it usually doesn't work. Dominants are Dominants. They want to rule the world. It is not a good situation for either of them, and I gaurantee that you will lose your friendship with the other Dom/me. *Regards, MissSCD* so because you tried it and it didn't work, you can guarantee it won't work for anyone else?! well for fucks sakes then, i better call my friends that have been doing this successfully for over four years now and let them know that they're doomed[8\|]

Lockit -> RE: Can Two Dominants (Who Are Not A Couple) Co-own a Submissive? (10/10/2008 2:46:17 PM)
There is always a choice. Whether it is the right one or not, who knows. What is your gut instinct in this? Do you feel pressured? Are any negative feelings you have something you can see getting over through experience or will they lay inside festering? Are you rushing something? Losing sight of something? You are clearly trying to see what other's have experienced and that is a good thing. But your real research needs to be into yourself and the other people involved. I wish you all well in this and hope all will find the place that makes it all beautiful one way or another.

catize -> RE: Can Two Dominants (Who Are Not A Couple) Co-own a Submissive? (10/10/2008 4:32:14 PM)
quote: If I remember corectly, there is definately a couple of people who post here that have or have been in joint ownership contracts, but cannot for the life of me remember who. Maybe they will post. [image]http://www.collarchat.com/micons/m25.gif[/image] Although I am not owned in the traditional sense of the word, there are two dominant men in my life and I would, define the bond I have with both as much more than casual. These two men have helped me reach within myself to find joy in submitting to them. I have discovered deep wells of giving that I did not know I possessed. Whenever I am in the presence of one of them, they then have power over all that I am; they own that fountain of service. They know about each other but have never met. I have known S. for over 4 years, and R. for 3 years. They are, I tell them, the closest I’ve ever come to having a long term relationship. We are not poly, nor are we monogamous. It works because the three of us share an identical philosophy about wiitwd and our goals are the same.

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