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Fetish interests/porn - 10/11/2008 1:27:04 AM   
Untouched1282


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I apologize in advance for my awkwardness in this thread. I've never talked about this topic before...

We all have fetishes, obviously.  How predominant are they in your sex life? Are you able to enjoy yourself and still return to a vanilla sex life? I guess this is one of my fears, that I won't ever be able to return "home."

I don't have any sexual experience in or out of this lifestyle, but one particular fetish has struck my interest. It's come to the point where most of my sexual interests involve the fetish, or the dynamics surrounding it, even though I've never tried it in real life.

I'm going through a period of self-discovery, particularly in the sexual arena, and don't know if I'll be able to go back, feel satisfie with a vanilla sex life should BDSM not be something I'm interested in in the end.  I don't know if there's much of a market for my particular fetish (it's pretty tame, especially within this circle) so I don't know what I'd do to be sexually satisfied.

Sorry for the rambling : / 
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RE: Fetish interests/porn - 10/11/2008 1:37:52 AM   
bookworm966


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What exactly is your fetish?  I have found with mine, even when I am unable to incorporate it into a sexual session, that it plays frequently in my masturbation fantasies. 

< Message edited by bookworm966 -- 10/11/2008 1:38:28 AM >


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RE: Fetish interests/porn - 10/11/2008 1:42:42 AM   
Untouched1282


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I'm a little shy about posting it -- even though it's not that big a deal, at least by CM stanards. I just don't know what I'd do if I ended up deciding VANILLA was the life for me and still had this fetish. Blah

Thank you for your response *HUG*

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RE: Fetish interests/porn - 10/11/2008 2:06:26 AM   
ApathyRomance


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A little shy, but you can't be that shy if you started a vague post in the first place.  Just say it.  All the cool kids do.

I think you'll find that even if you don't have some big bdsm relationship, you can find sexual partners who are perfectly fine with fetishes. 

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RE: Fetish interests/porn - 10/11/2008 2:13:15 AM   
dreamerdreaming


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Well, you could tell us, and then just edit it out of your post here within the half hour edit period.  But you did start a thread! You'll drive everyone nuts if you don't tell us. And how much help do you expect us to be, if we don't really know what we're discussing exactly? C'mon, how bad can it be?





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RE: Fetish interests/porn - 10/11/2008 2:29:24 AM   
Untouched1282


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Let's just call me a "bottom" for the sake of keeping me from blushing : /

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RE: Fetish interests/porn - 10/11/2008 2:37:39 AM   
dreamerdreaming


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OMG, you're killing me.

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RE: Fetish interests/porn - 10/11/2008 2:43:55 AM   
Untouched1282


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sry

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RE: Fetish interests/porn - 10/11/2008 2:58:35 AM   
dreamerdreaming


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Alright then, here's a general answer: Cultivate broad  interests. Don't masturbate exclusively to this particular fetish. Make it one of many ideas. Do this now, before you become a one-trick pony.



< Message edited by dreamerdreaming -- 10/11/2008 3:02:04 AM >


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RE: Fetish interests/porn - 10/11/2008 3:00:10 AM   
StacyCat


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There are many "fetishes" that dont delve into the BDSM realm.  I am involved with the balloon fetish group, and most of them are fairly vanilla in their sexual activities.  Except for a few activities, one could self define as "vanilla" and never go into BDSM with their fetish.

Unless your fetish is on the more extreme ends of BDSM (and, by your own admission, it is fairly tame for collarme standards), you can probably integrate it into a successful and satisfying "vanilla" sex life.

Why you would want to go back to being vanilla is a whole other topic. :-)

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RE: Fetish interests/porn - 10/11/2008 3:05:19 AM   
Untouched1282


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I'm not saying I'd want to go back. It was merely a hypothetical posit! 

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RE: Fetish interests/porn - 10/11/2008 3:06:49 AM   
Untouched1282


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quote:

ORIGINAL: dreamerdreaming

Alright then, here's a general answer: Cultivate broad  interests. Don't masturbate exclusively to this particular fetish. Make it one of many ideas. Do this now, before you become a one-trick pony.




Thank you. I'm trying -- but the pull, the desire to explore it deeper, is overwhelming!

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RE: Fetish interests/porn - 10/11/2008 3:16:27 AM   
Usako


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Personally, I think a fetish is a problem when you can't be sexual turned on or get off without doing the fetish or having it in mind.

That being said, I don't know if I have a fetish. Certain things turn me on but I rarely look at porn or think about it during masturbation. I talk to a friend of mine and they go on about women in white or dressed like nurses is one of their fetishes and I don't know anything that will instantly turn me on. Like to see a picture of it or porn of it or see it in person; I can't think of anything like that.

Even if I DID have a nice fetish (I problem have one somewhere I can't think of or maybe haven't even discovered) I would never say I'd never have nice, normal sex again. There is nothing wrong with good old fashioned "vanilla" (god I hate that term) sex. As I said, I'd be more worried if I couldn't have sex at all without having said fetish involved or in my mind.

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RE: Fetish interests/porn - 10/11/2008 3:23:19 AM   
Untouched1282


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Usako

Personally, I think a fetish is a problem when you can't be sexual turned on or get off without doing the fetish or having it in mind.

That being said, I don't know if I have a fetish. Certain things turn me on but I rarely look at porn or think about it during masturbation. I talk to a friend of mine and they go on about women in white or dressed like nurses is one of their fetishes and I don't know anything that will instantly turn me on. Like to see a picture of it or porn of it or see it in person; I can't think of anything like that.

Even if I DID have a nice fetish (I problem have one somewhere I can't think of or maybe haven't even discovered) I would never say I'd never have nice, normal sex again. There is nothing wrong with good old fashioned "vanilla" (god I hate that term) sex. As I said, I'd be more worried if I couldn't have sex at all without having said fetish involved or in my mind.



Sorry for using that word. I thought it the least offensive word I could possibly use. People tend to get up in arms if I use other descriptive terms to label it (The wordplay in this lifestyle is insane! haha)

Thank you for your post.

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RE: Fetish interests/porn - 10/11/2008 3:34:40 AM   
Usako


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Untouched1282
Sorry for using that word. I thought it the least offensive word I could possibly use. People tend to get up in arms if I use other descriptive terms to label it (The wordplay in this lifestyle is insane! haha)

Thank you for your post.


Pfft, no need to be sorry. It's one of those terms one has to someone to use in the BDSM world it seems so people understand what you mean. I might not like it but sometimes one has to do what they don't like to get their point across.

Or maybe I'm rambling because it's 6:30am...dunno yet.

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RE: Fetish interests/porn - 10/11/2008 3:38:32 AM   
Untouched1282


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Usako


Or maybe I'm rambling because it's 6:30am...dunno yet.



haha I know what you mean. I've been watching True Blood since I got home from the bar. On Episode 4. haha

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RE: Fetish interests/porn - 10/11/2008 8:36:11 AM   
LadyJulieAnn


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I think you'd be capable of vanilla sex, but it might not be as satisfying as when you incorporated your fetish.  My sexual fantasies always incorporated kink/BDSM, but I took a long time to finally accept this side of myself.  Once I did and sought out a partner with the same interests, the level of pleasure increased exponentially.  I know I need some kink in my sexual life because that's how I'm wired. 

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RE: Fetish interests/porn - 10/11/2008 8:48:08 AM   
Untouched1282


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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyJulieAnn

I think you'd be capable of vanilla sex, but it might not be as satisfying as when you incorporated your fetish.  My sexual fantasies always incorporated kink/BDSM, but I took a long time to finally accept this side of myself.  Once I did and sought out a partner with the same interests, the level of pleasure increased exponentially.  I know I need some kink in my sexual life because that's how I'm wired. 


Thank you for sharing your feelings, as well as your life experiences, Miss *HUG* :)

I hope you're having a wonderful weekend!

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RE: Fetish interests/porn - 10/11/2008 8:55:48 AM   
AAkasha


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quote:

ORIGINAL: dreamerdreaming

OMG, you're killing me.


The femdoms on collarme need to get together and collectively kidnap him and pop his cherry.

Akasha


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RE: Fetish interests/porn - 10/11/2008 9:08:34 AM   
Untouched1282


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quote:

ORIGINAL: AAkasha

The femdoms on collarme need to get together and collectively kidnap him and pop his cherry.

Akasha



:-O Miss Aakasha, I'm both stunned -- and...well...*BLUSH*

haha

I hope you've been well!

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