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dishonoring a request - 10/11/2008 7:30:27 AM

AnnesMentor

Posts: 2
Joined: 10/11/2008
Status: offline

I am mentoring a young, novice submissive, from a distance, to better equip her and prepare her to enter her local bdsm scene. She is learning about honor and integrity and is becoming more confident about herself with each passing day.

At my request, she put a very clear message in her profile that she is in training and is temporarily not permitted to communicate with anyone. She stated that it's only for a short period. After that, I will encourage her to talk to others and will help her transition into her local community, and will teach her how to safely search for an honorable Dom.

In spite of the request in her profile that she not be contacted, she continually gets messages from other 'Doms' and informs me each time.

To me, with my background in the scene, these Doms are dishonoring both her and me.

Comments?

Post #: 1

RE: dishonoring a request - 10/11/2008 7:54:17 AM

NumberSix

Posts: 1378
Joined: 12/30/2006
Status: offline

Ja, dishonoring?

Crock of shit.

You don't become some phantasmagorical cocooned sprite upon your entrance to slap and tickle university.

Women have pussies, men want 'em.

Your sence of honor does not draw some magical sphere of protection around anyone. You will not be able to defend this flight of fancy from your keyboard.

DIE! DIE! DIE! (take that you dishonorable fellow.........)

There is a soveriegnty to the soul. That's all there is. You cannot cause the rain to stop falling nor the tears to cease forever.

She's young, and will get over this blasphemous turn of events, I hope you do too.

6

_____________________________

"Who are you?"
"The new Number Two."
"Who is Number One?"
"You are Number Six.".
"I am not a number — I am a free man!"

Be seeing you...

(in reply to AnnesMentor)

Post #: 2

RE: dishonoring a request - 10/11/2008 8:00:40 AM

sunshinedreams

Posts: 181
Joined: 1/22/2008
Status: offline

Having her put that on her profile is like saying DON'T PUSH THE RED BUTTON. Of course they will contact her, it's more of a challenge that way. I mean, just because my profile says friends only and not available doesn't mean I don't have propositions of all sorts. Welcome to the internet. *sigh*

(in reply to NumberSix)

Post #: 3

RE: dishonoring a request - 10/11/2008 8:03:02 AM

Rover

Posts: 2634
Joined: 6/28/2004
Status: offline

Why should she have need to look for a Master? Sounds like she already has one.

John

_____________________________

"Man's mind stretched to a new idea never goes back to its original dimensions."

Sri da Avabhas

(in reply to AnnesMentor)

Post #: 4

RE: dishonoring a request - 10/11/2008 8:15:25 AM

AnnesMentor

Posts: 2
Joined: 10/11/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Rover

Why should she have need to look for a Master? Sounds like she already has one.

John

Thank you for your respectful reply, John.

The distance and age gap (30+ years) would make it unlikely that I would fill that role in real life. I'm more of a safe harbor from sharks while she learns some basics about the scene and about safety.

(in reply to Rover)

Post #: 5

RE: dishonoring a request - 10/11/2008 8:21:06 AM

Rover

Posts: 2634
Joined: 6/28/2004
Status: offline

Although my reply was not intended to be disrespectful, neither was it intended to be complimentary. And it has nothing to do with age gaps or distance... lots of folks overcome both to have gratifying and fulfilling power exchange relationships.

It has everything to do with informed consent. Is she aware that you're fulfilling the functions of Master? Are you aware that she may be manipulating you into fulfilling those functions? Are either of you aware of what each other's intentions may be?

I could be way off base, of course. But I sense that there's more going on here than meets the eye.

John

_____________________________

"Man's mind stretched to a new idea never goes back to its original dimensions."

Sri da Avabhas

(in reply to AnnesMentor)

Post #: 6

RE: dishonoring a request - 10/11/2008 8:26:24 AM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

I'm with John. You're getting all the emotional fun of being her master, telling her what to do, etc. She's getting emotionally involved with someone who can't fulfill her. Hardly the respectful thing for you to do.

If she needs a mentor she should find another sub to talk to. As far as safety? She could read for twenty minutes here and have all necessary safety knowledge to go out assuming she has the intelligence level of any ordinary person. If she's dumber than a pet rock then she isn't capable of giving informed consent and you're a user. So if she's smart enough to ask you stuff, why isn't she smart enough to ask lots of people stuff and judge for herself?

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!

(in reply to Rover)

Post #: 7

RE: dishonoring a request - 10/11/2008 8:32:17 AM

littlewonder

Posts: 15659
Status: offline

Dishonorable? No...

But if she's responding to these emails she's receiving then I'd say she's the one being dishonorable and disobedient.

The balls in her court to just hit the delete button.

Why are you so concerned with everyone else? You should be concerned with her action..not their's.

But then again you're not her Master...another topic..another time.

(in reply to DesFIP)

Post #: 8

RE: dishonoring a request - 10/11/2008 8:40:37 AM

IrishMist

Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: AnnesMentor

I am mentoring a young, novice submissive, from a distance, to better equip her and prepare her to enter her local bdsm scene. She is learning about honor and integrity and is becoming more confident about herself with each passing day.

At my request, she put a very clear message in her profile that she is in training and is temporarily not permitted to communicate with anyone. She stated that it's only for a short period. After that, I will encourage her to talk to others and will help her transition into her local community, and will teach her how to safely search for an honorable Dom.

In spite of the request in her profile that she not be contacted, she continually gets messages from other 'Doms' and informs me each time.

To me, with my background in the scene, these Doms are dishonoring both her and me.

Comments?

It's the internet. Being so smart yourself, you should be able to figure out how to tell her to 'delete unread', 'block', and 'ignore' such contacts.

_____________________________

If I said something to offend you, please tell me what it was so that I can say it again later.

(in reply to AnnesMentor)

Post #: 9

RE: dishonoring a request - 10/11/2008 8:43:05 AM

SirMIkeSD

Posts: 613
Joined: 3/16/2007
From: San Diego, Ca
Status: offline

Are you familiar with her local community, do you know people in real time there, do you keep in contact with them? .If not really how can you get her ready to enter her local community. The are many differences between each local community all you can do if give her basic general advise for entering any community.

If you don't have that imtimate knowledge of her local community are you showing her honor, by telling her this will help in her local community? All she needs is basic people skills and most people have them. Just have her contact the local groups in her area, show up and meet some people. Then she can find someone to assist her with the in's and out's of her community.

Mike

(in reply to DesFIP)

Post #: 10

RE: dishonoring a request - 10/11/2008 8:46:28 AM

CalifChick

Posts: 10717
Joined: 10/28/2007
From: California
Status: offline

I don't have a big enough eyeroll emoticon for this one. So basically, you're training an adult to be an adult? To think for herself? To assess a situation? To *gasp* meet people? To read a bit online about safety? To realize that just because you put "don't contact me" on a profile online, that not everybody is going to obey that command? That *gasp* she can temporarily hide her profile??

Cali

_____________________________

AKA "The Undisputed Goddess of Sarcasm", "Big Bad Cali" and "Yum Bum". Advisor to the Subbie Mafia, founding member of the W.A.C. and the Judgmental Bitches Brigade, member of the Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's and Team Troll

(in reply to SirMIkeSD)

Post #: 11

RE: dishonoring a request - 10/11/2008 9:19:11 AM

KatyLied

Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline

quote:

To me, with my background in the scene, these Doms are dishonoring both her and me.

I think you are discovering that it is difficult to dominate strangers on-line.

_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to AnnesMentor)

Post #: 12

RE: dishonoring a request - 10/11/2008 9:25:33 AM

NumberSix

Posts: 1378
Joined: 12/30/2006
Status: offline

Heel, bitch.....or I'll have the other half of your head.

On a serious note, Katy....

Let me make the vast understatements here, it's rather a specialty of mine.

LOLOLOL.

Ron

_____________________________

"Who are you?"
"The new Number Two."
"Who is Number One?"
"You are Number Six.".
"I am not a number — I am a free man!"

Be seeing you...

(in reply to KatyLied)

Post #: 13

RE: dishonoring a request - 10/11/2008 9:27:25 AM

KatyLied

Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline

quote:

Heel, bitch.....or I'll have the other half of your head.

::woof woof::

_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to NumberSix)

Post #: 14

RE: dishonoring a request - 10/11/2008 9:31:26 AM

NumberSix

Posts: 1378
Joined: 12/30/2006
Status: offline

OP, you see the problem here, right?

6

_____________________________

"Who are you?"
"The new Number Two."
"Who is Number One?"
"You are Number Six.".
"I am not a number — I am a free man!"

Be seeing you...

(in reply to KatyLied)

Post #: 15

RE: dishonoring a request - 10/11/2008 9:58:13 AM

OsideGirl

Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SirMIkeSD

Are you familiar with her local community, do you know people in real time there, do you keep in contact with them? .If not really how can you get her ready to enter her local community. The are many differences between each local community all you can do if give her basic general advise for entering any community.

If you don't have that imtimate knowledge of her local community are you showing her honor, by telling her this will help in her local community? All she needs is basic people skills and most people have them. Just have her contact the local groups in her area, show up and meet some people. Then she can find someone to assist her with the in's and out's of her community.

Mike

BINGO! You have no idea about the people in her local BDSM community, so the benefit is entirely yours because you're certainly not benefitting her.

Here's the other reality: You're more upset about YOU being disrespected. I notice you're not all that upset that "D" types are disrespecting HER request that she not be contacted. You're irritated that someone is stepping on YOUR toes over an "s" type that is not even your property. Pot - Kettle.

< Message edited by OsideGirl -- 10/11/2008 10:53:08 AM >

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to SirMIkeSD)

Post #: 16

RE: dishonoring a request - 10/11/2008 10:59:07 AM

Missokyst

Posts: 6041
Joined: 9/9/2006
Status: offline

I am a little confused why you believe that putting restrictions on HER would stop other people from writing. If she doesn't want email right now all she has to do is delete her profile. No profile, no contact. Easy.
Anyone who has created a submissive profile will attest to the fact that that first couple of months is hellish with email from men waiting to pounce on new meat.

The infamous protection of being restricted means nothing unless everyone is on board. So even if she chose not to read them (which clearly is not the case), you have no way of controlling the men who send inquiries.

I am curious though why anyone would put this mythical ring of protection over someone and not allow them to find their own adult feet. Most people will get the gist of an angle if exposed to enough bullshit.

Be an ear and a shoulder if necessary, but by putting yourself up as a gaurd at the gate you are denying her the exposure to reality.
Kyst

(in reply to AnnesMentor)

Post #: 17

RE: dishonoring a request - 10/11/2008 11:05:33 AM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

Besides if he really was concerned for her, he'd want her to get as much wanker mail as possible so she gets to be able to judge immediately which to jeer at, and which to block, and which to contribute to the idiots mail thread.

But if she was able to decide for herself that the op would be a good advisor for her, she is able to judge if anybody else would be a good choice for a friend. Something the op conveniently ignores. Because if she has no good judgment at all, then obviously he is a poor choice as a mentor. Right?

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!

(in reply to Missokyst)

Post #: 18

RE: dishonoring a request - 10/11/2008 11:22:27 AM

mbes

Posts: 465
Joined: 12/14/2006
Status: offline

What kinds of things are you teaching her? You say honor and integrity, but what do you mean by that?
Seems to me these emails, and judging and critiquing each, would provide a beautiful opportunity to show her what people will say and do, and great responses (including block and delete) to each, if she really doesn't already know.

(in reply to DesFIP)

Post #: 19

RE: dishonoring a request - 10/11/2008 12:09:54 PM

apiercedkitty

Posts: 569
Joined: 2/22/2007
From: Michigan
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: AnnesMentor

I am mentoring a young, novice submissive, from a distance, to better equip her and prepare her to enter her local bdsm scene. She is learning about honor and integrity and is becoming more confident about herself with each passing day.

At my request, she put a very clear message in her profile that she is in training and is temporarily not permitted to communicate with anyone. She stated that it's only for a short period. After that, I will encourage her to talk to others and will help her transition into her local community, and will teach her how to safely search for an honorable Dom.

In spite of the request in her profile that she not be contacted, she continually gets messages from other 'Doms' and informs me each time.

To me, with my background in the scene, these Doms are dishonoring both her and me.

Comments?

If she's a half-way intelligent adult, she should already have a pretty good idea what HER definition of honor and integrity are. Why, exactly, is she not allowed to communicate with anyone? Is that so she only has YOUR influence, which of course is the BEST out there? Again, being a half-way intelligent adult, she should at least have a small idea how to "safely search for an honorable Dom." C'mon - get off your high horse and let her live her life. Seems you're dishonoring her by limiting her contact with anyone besides yourself. If you're not the Dom for her, why waste her time "teaching" her things she should already know?

_____________________________

normal is a setting on a washing machine...

(in reply to AnnesMentor)

Post #: 20

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