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BDSM - it's not about sex - 10/12/2008 3:29:43 AM

Domblank

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Joined: 10/11/2008
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Yea? who are we kidding, now I know I am going to get the people coming in here saying 'its about the spiritual aspects' and yes I agree to a degree
BUT
see how many people here without a photo/compared to how many with ...and then ask what the difference in mail volume is..
this is ultimately about attraction, hence no photo, no initial attraction, no one cares about how well you write or what your likes and dislikes are initially, they just want to see how hot you'd look tied up

opinions plz

Post #: 1

RE: BDSM - it's not about sex - 10/12/2008 3:32:01 AM

Domblank

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Joined: 10/11/2008
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and if im lying...

then answer honestly how many people on here without photos, that you havent viewed...have you been really interested in

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RE: BDSM - it's not about sex - 10/12/2008 3:36:03 AM

moonvine

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I honestly don't care about the photos. I am going to meet someone next week based not on their photo, but on their profile. I was hooked after I read the profile and didn't care about the picture and didn't see one for quite some time after we started corresponding.

I wrote someone with no photo today. He sounded interesting.

People with no profiles, as opposed to no photo, I'm not likely to write. YMMV.

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RE: BDSM - it's not about sex - 10/12/2008 3:37:20 AM

JustDarkness

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Joined: 7/25/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Domblank

and if im lying...

then answer honestly how many people on here without photos, that you havent viewed...have you been really interested in

my previous girl had no picture. When we talked a while....she asked me if I was not curious how she looked. I said "for talking and liking a person...pictures are not so important".
Gladly..she was hot ..when I saw her. I can't judge what would happend if she didn't look as expected...but they have a saying here "love blinds" .

and most people I talk have no pictures either. A least they have more to see then "you look yummy"

< Message edited by JustDarkness -- 10/12/2008 3:39:20 AM >

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RE: BDSM - it's not about sex - 10/12/2008 3:38:30 AM

detoxxx

Posts: 17
Joined: 10/12/2008
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I must admit I had alot more mail when I had my photo on this site....but *shrugs* I like a peacefull life lol

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Post #: 5

RE: BDSM - it's not about sex - 10/12/2008 3:42:13 AM

JustDarkness

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Perhaps a question you could ask also is;
"Are the people with nice pictures more arrogant when you contact them, do they actually read what you write..or do they just view pictures" lol

but partly it is about sex. Showing yourself. LIke birds showing their nice coloured feathers to attract the others

< Message edited by JustDarkness -- 10/12/2008 3:45:18 AM >

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RE: BDSM - it's not about sex - 10/12/2008 3:45:15 AM

NorthernGent

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Domblank

Yea? who are we kidding, now I know I am going to get the people coming in here saying 'its about the spiritual aspects' and yes I agree to a degree

'Not spiritual for me. It's purely utilitarian - a sort of pseudo-legal convenience to ensure all parties are content.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Domblank

BUT
see how many people here without a photo/compared to how many with ...and then ask what the difference in mail volume is..
this is ultimately about attraction, hence no photo, no initial attraction, no one cares about how well you write or what your likes and dislikes are initially, they just want to see how hot you'd look tied up

It could be different for me because I'm in England; my expectations aren't the same as someone close enough to actually meet these women. I couldn't care less about the photos, and I've only ever browsed two or three profiles in 2/3 years. I like to see how people write, particularly their creativity when using language, because it can tell you a lot about the culture of that country.

Moreover, assuming you're looking for a relationship, you want to do yourself a favour and watch how someone moves before setting yourself up to fail.

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RE: BDSM - it's not about sex - 10/12/2008 3:49:42 AM

detoxxx

Posts: 17
Joined: 10/12/2008
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intelligence, confidence and wit - three major turn ons.....its my mind that leads me not my eyes

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RE: BDSM - it's not about sex - 10/12/2008 4:04:13 AM

JustDarkness

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There will be no ultimate answer on these kind of questions, because we are all attracted to other things.
But what others look for..is nice to read...
Funny I find is when you ask some one what you like in the partner...they have to think..lol

(in reply to detoxxx)

Post #: 9

RE: BDSM - it's not about sex - 10/12/2008 4:12:49 AM

desertdancer

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I get mail ! I do..honest ! Not having a pic put up has not stopped offers from many people. Maybe it's my oh so seeexy typing skills that gets em? It must be.

Edited to add - I met my Master/Husband online five ears ago in a RPG. We spoke/played that silly game every day, fell totally in love and I had NO idea what He looked like for the first THREE years!

Yep, that's right we didn't trade pics for the first three years, though I knew I loved him madly, I had no idea what He looked like.

..it musta been His oh so sexy typing too !

< Message edited by desertdancer -- 10/12/2008 4:17:18 AM >

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RE: BDSM - it's not about sex - 10/12/2008 4:18:06 AM

JustDarkness

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quote:

ORIGINAL: desertdancer

I get mail ! I do..honest ! Not having a pic put up has not stopped offers from many people. Maybe it's my oh so seeexy typing skills that gets em? It must be.

oh an interesting journal to me means as much as a nice picture. Because the pictures says not so much about the person itself as a journal does.

(And you know..when having sex..you always can switch the light of when you think the other isn't as pretty :P ....)

(in reply to desertdancer)

Post #: 11

RE: BDSM - it's not about sex - 10/12/2008 4:19:33 AM

tweedydaddy

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I don't give a toss what people look like, tied up or not. In any case, I'm a Dom and the last thing that was tied on me was a watch strap. I don't answer profiles without pictures as I think it shows either they have something to hide or they are not really taking it seriously. I would prefer charcoal sketches or watercolours really, I hate to think what some of us would do with oil paint!

(in reply to Domblank)

Post #: 12

RE: BDSM - it's not about sex - 10/12/2008 4:20:54 AM

Aileen1968

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From: I miss Shore, New Jersey
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My search filters were always set to profiles with pictures when I had a profile. It is about sex and attraction to me. I've always maintained that I could just as easily find chemistry with someone from a pool of attractive people. Why would I want to connect with someone just to find out later, when I finally saw his picture, that I found him butt ugly? The few times that I did go for someone that wasn't my type physically were very hard. I found it difficult to submit to them even though there was a little mental chemistry. I struggled. So yeah...physical attraction from the start makes it all so much nicer.

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RE: BDSM - it's not about sex - 10/12/2008 5:39:37 AM

chamberqueen

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Joined: 10/25/2007
From: Kalamazoo, MI
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As in any group there will be a mix. I chose to put up a photo because I have nothing to hide. I would much rather have a compliment on my journal entries than on my looks. However, my profile says that I am happily collared and anyone writing to me knows right off the bat that I am not interested in having sex with them.

I often write privately to people based upon something that they post here. I don't care if they have a photo or not - it is about something intellectual when I contact them. I see BDSM as not only between two consenting parties but feel a need to encourage those who are having a difficult time or are confused, or to compliment someone who has done a nice job - a way to build up the entire community. Yes, that's definitely more spiritual than sexual.

And, I will admit, I sometimes get a laugh when I see someone's photo and then read in their profile how handsome they believe they are. :)

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RE: BDSM - it's not about sex - 10/12/2008 5:49:01 AM

QandA

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Joined: 9/22/2008
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I don't perv full profiles often, though I will glance at the one that's being showcased at the top of the "Home" page. That means that I tend to look at profiles with pics more often that those without. When I'm bored, though, I'll look down at the list of names and click on a screenname that sounds interesting. Since I'm looking only for friendship with interesting people faces (or other body parts) mean little to me.

My purpose for putting a pic up has changed a bit since I've changed profiles.

In my original profile (brat4fun - now hidden) I wanted to have a pic up there to show that I'm overweight. Nothing quite so fun as enjoying a lovely conversation with a guy, then trading pics, then a long awkward pause in typing, then finally a "sorry, I don't date fat chicks." *rolls eyes*

As part of my couples profile with my Sir, I love the pic that we have. It shows quite clearly that I belong to him.

lil Aidan

(in reply to Aileen1968)

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RE: BDSM - it's not about sex - 10/12/2008 5:51:20 AM

colouredin

Posts: 4279
Joined: 2/2/2007
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Why does interest in photos instantly mean its sexual?

I prefer pictures because its easier to work out how genuine someone is and to see who i am talking to. ALSO you can have none sexual BDSM elements along side a vanilla relationship with sex

ALSO you can have service subs

ALSO you can have a relationship with someone with no interest in sex

ALSO stop being so narrow minded

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RE: BDSM - it's not about sex - 10/12/2008 6:15:16 AM

catize

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Maybe I should take a pic folding R.'s underwear!

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RE: BDSM - it's not about sex - 10/12/2008 6:25:30 AM

KatyLied

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quote:

this is ultimately about attraction, hence no photo, no initial attraction, no one cares about how well you write or what your likes and dislikes are initially, they just want to see how hot you'd look tied up

Some people are this shallow.

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Post #: 18

RE: BDSM - it's not about sex - 10/12/2008 6:40:35 AM

stella41b

Posts: 4258
Joined: 10/16/2007
From: SW London (UK)
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Domblank

this is ultimately about attraction, hence no photo, no initial attraction, no one cares about how well you write or what your likes and dislikes are initially, they just want to see how hot you'd look tied up

Some people may look attractive on a photo and they may post some really awesome things but will they still look as attractive when you wake up next to them at 6.30am one morning? Some of those with 'initial attraction' may turn out to be really ugly with time.

Conversely those who don't have that 'initial attraction' might turn out to be better. It's worth remembering that a good mind and a good heart can make anyone beautiful, if you give them a chance and take the time to get to know them.

No photo, no initial attraction and nobody cares? You know what? I'd rather have a thousand people not bother at the start than to have others move on and completely forget you after a month or two.

But then again I'm being neither spiritual nor superficial here.

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RE: BDSM - it's not about sex - 10/12/2008 6:47:22 AM

RichieB

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Joined: 8/30/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Domblank

Yea? who are we kidding, now I know I am going to get the people coming in here saying 'its about the spiritual aspects' and yes I agree to a degree
BUT
see how many people here without a photo/compared to how many with ...and then ask what the difference in mail volume is..
this is ultimately about attraction, hence no photo, no initial attraction, no one cares about how well you write or what your likes and dislikes are initially, they just want to see how hot you'd look tied up

opinions plz

I will agree. When Diane had her own profile with photos she would at least 25 emails a day.
Most of them were from people that didn't even take the time to read her profile.

Rich

< Message edited by RichieB -- 10/12/2008 6:48:47 AM >

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