Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

Does domination make you want to have sexual intercourse or orgasm?


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Mistress >> Does domination make you want to have sexual intercourse or orgasm? Page: [1] 2   next >   >>
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
Does domination make you want to have sexual intercours... - 10/12/2008 9:59:38 AM   
AAkasha


Posts: 4429
Joined: 11/27/2004
Status: offline

Does it turn you on in a manner that to not have an orgasm would be frustrating?

Akasha


_____________________________

Akasha's Web - All original Femdom content since 1995
Don't email me here, email me at [email protected]
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Does domination make you want to have sexual interc... - 10/12/2008 10:03:59 AM   
Daddysredhead


Posts: 23574
Joined: 11/6/2005
From: Northern (yet still part of the South) Virginia
Status: offline 		Short answers:  Yes and yes.   

When my Master takes control of me and the energy shift is powerful, I feel extremely turned on and the next logical step for me is to give up my body sexually to Him.  If He refuses to engage in this "completion," I would be left very unhappy and very unfulfilled, in my own sexual way, as well as in the way I like to service Him.

_____________________________

Founding Member, Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's

Do not challenge me to a battle of wits & come to fight unarmed.

Are you really that stupid? ~ Bless your heart

13th doughnut


(in reply to AAkasha)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Does domination make you want to have sexual interc... - 10/12/2008 10:04:46 AM   
CallaFirestormBW


Posts: 3651
Joined: 6/29/2008
Status: offline 		Not for me, but I suspect that I'm pretty much unusual in this. I feel something powerful, especially when doing blood-play, but it isn't 'orgasmic' or arousing for me... it's something else... visceral, but not sexual.

Calla Firestorm

_____________________________

***
Said to me recently: "Look, I know you're the "voice of reason"... but dammit, I LIKE being unreasonable!!!!"

"Your mind is more interested in the challenge of becoming than the challenge of doing." Jon Benson, Bodybuilder/Trainer

(in reply to AAkasha)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Does domination make you want to have sexual interc... - 10/12/2008 10:11:27 AM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		There are times when it hits me like a punch...  but I don't necessarily feel the need to have intercourse with the person I am playing with.  Often, it's nothing sexually, and just gives me a sense of strength and energy.

_____________________________

[page 23 girl]



(in reply to CallaFirestormBW)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Does domination make you want to have sexual interc... - 10/12/2008 10:34:20 AM   
faerytattoodgirl


Posts: 5824
Status: offline 		i prefer the outercourse...

_____________________________

I did not reply to your cmail.
I am flawed.
Imperfect.
MUST SPANK!!!
SPAAAAAAAANK!!!

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Does domination make you want to have sexual interc... - 10/12/2008 12:32:29 PM   
AAkasha


Posts: 4429
Joined: 11/27/2004
Status: offline

I have never quited figured out my own wiring when it comes to femdom lust and arousal.  I was doing BDSM a few years before my first orgasm, and a few years before my first sexual experiences. I was tying guys up for innocent high school necking and heavy petting.  Adding blindfolds.  Getting handcuffs.  Long before I had seen a guy naked, had oral sex, or had intercourse.  It's a separate, yet often overlapping lust of mine.

That said, I get incredibly wet when I do any kind of domination or topping.  It's a natural physical response.  So moving into sexual activity is a natural and obvious progression.  But, it's not necessary. That's what's odd.  When I get wet from vanilla foreplay though - kissing, fondling, normal foreplay, the arousal I feel is absolutely undeniabley SEXUAL.  And that's what I want.  An orgasm, intercourse, or that kind of release. 

So if I keep BDSM on a physical, emotional, "topping" level, I don't have much angst related to needing to have sex or orgasm, but I do have a desire to do more domination or scratch that "itch."  If I was told that all my power exchange and topping could NEVER include orgasm, it would be disappointing, but not impossible.

However, my sexuality is always laced with femdomish overtones; I could not remove hairpulling, face slapping, bondage or at least BDSM fantasy from intercourse 100%.  Maybe half. Hard to say.

I wondered when I was younger if I'd start to lose that separation, but it hasn't happened.  I can still have fairly rewarding, intense, mind blowing BDSM and table the orgasm for later, despite how wet I get.  Very weird.

Akasha


_____________________________

Akasha's Web - All original Femdom content since 1995
Don't email me here, email me at [email protected]

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Does domination make you want to have sexual interc... - 10/12/2008 12:42:14 PM   
MsStarlett


Posts: 1879
Joined: 12/23/2007
Status: offline 		IF I was physically attracted to the bottom in the first place... YES!   The closer the bond I have with the boy, the more attractive he becomes.  This does not always mean sexual intercourse!  There are lots of ways to get to my climax other than that.

(I'll skip the wanking fodder.)

_____________________________

It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion.
It is by the beans of Java that thoughts acquire speed,
the hands acquire shakes, the shakes become a warning,
It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion.

(in reply to AAkasha)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Does domination make you want to have sexual interc... - 10/12/2008 12:43:31 PM   
Reigna


Posts: 334
Joined: 8/27/2007
Status: offline 		Yes, this kind of activity makes me horny. I don't necessarily have to come RIGHT NOW, and I sometimes put together scenarios in which I deliberately delay any kind of sexual activity until after the scene nominally is nominally over. But even in those cases I maintain a buzz, and mindblowing orgasms aren't far behind. 

(in reply to AAkasha)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Does domination make you want to have sexual interc... - 10/12/2008 3:25:33 PM   
ShaktiSama


Posts: 1674
Joined: 8/13/2007
Status: offline 		I don't really distinguish much between topping in vanilla or BDSM scenarios.  Turning my lover on, giving him intense sensations, a lot of pleasure and eventually an orgasm or three is very arousing.  And it doesn't make a lot of difference to me where his buttons are located and what I do to push them--topping is topping.

My own orgasm can be delayed or denied for quite some time, but eventually that piper has to be paid by some reciprocation of that care, attention and energy.  If my partner can't give me that, it causes emotional breakdown--since the built-up energy doesn't get vented in a pleasurable way, it goes to the other extreme, and I am overcome by grief and feel very unsexy, unloved, used, etc..

*shrug*  I have done plenty of topping that was orgasm-free at BDSM parties, though, and did not have this reaction.  It seems I can easily do without that orgasm, if the sub doesn't have one either.

_____________________________

"Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea."
-- Robert A. Heinlein

(in reply to Reigna)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Does domination make you want to have sexual interc... - 10/12/2008 3:40:16 PM   
PeonForHer


Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
Status: offline 		Being dominated, even when being told to do the dishes, turns me on to the point where I'm frustrated at not having an orgasm.  But then I enjoy being frustrated too.  But that's probably because I'm odd.

_____________________________

http://www.domme-chronicles.com


(in reply to AAkasha)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Does domination make you want to have sexual interc... - 10/12/2008 3:45:27 PM   
AAkasha


Posts: 4429
Joined: 11/27/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ShaktiSama

I don't really distinguish much between topping in vanilla or BDSM scenarios.  Turning my lover on, giving him intense sensations, a lot of pleasure and eventually an orgasm or three is very arousing.  And it doesn't make a lot of difference to me where his buttons are located and what I do to push them--topping is topping.

My own orgasm can be delayed or denied for quite some time, but eventually that piper has to be paid by some reciprocation of that care, attention and energy.  If my partner can't give me that, it causes emotional breakdown--since the built-up energy doesn't get vented in a pleasurable way, it goes to the other extreme, and I am overcome by grief and feel very unsexy, unloved, used, etc..

*shrug*  I have done plenty of topping that was orgasm-free at BDSM parties, though, and did not have this reaction.  It seems I can easily do without that orgasm, if the sub doesn't have one either.


I think I know what you are talking about by "energy" (underlined above by me) but wanted some clarification.  I think most femdoms have had the experience of topping a bottom that sucked the lifeforce and energy out of them and left them feeling drained and icky - vs. topping someone that makes your skin tingle and brain buzz and gets you warm and fuzzy in all the right places (not just sexually); if that's what you are talking about, that's the "orgasm-ish" parallel I seek/need from topping/domination, and while a side effect of it is clearly getting "wet," I'm most often wanting to stay on that path and with those feelings than to switch right over to sexual intercourse, oral sex, or orgasms.  Plenty of time for that later, after all.

Is this the kind of energy you are talking about, or something else entirely?

Akasha


_____________________________

Akasha's Web - All original Femdom content since 1995
Don't email me here, email me at [email protected]

(in reply to ShaktiSama)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Does domination make you want to have sexual interc... - 10/12/2008 6:03:59 PM   
ShaktiSama


Posts: 1674
Joined: 8/13/2007
Status: offline 		I have never topped anyone that made me feel "icky" per se, probably because I do not ever top anyone who I am not at least friendly and cordial with as a person.  But there is most definitely an expenditure of energy.  I am not just working someone's body over at random--I'm entering a state of profound attention, reading that person's body and face, absorbing every possible signal--visual, sound, even skin texture and smell to some degree--to take my cue where, and how hard, the next blow should fall.

Every person has a slightly different path to ecstasy, and I like to bring people there.  But it does require effort, and concentration.

That energy I spend topping is not automatically retained or returned simply in the act.  If the things I'm doing are relatively low-impact emotionally, requiring very little intimacy from me, a person can easily repay me by buying me a diet soda and fanning the sweat from my ivory brow (because putting forty minutes of hurt on someone with various implements of destruction will tend to work up a bit of a glow!)  But if the domination I'm doing is extremely intimate--i.e., it involves even partial nudity on my part, or direct participation in my partner's orgasm--then the need for a greater return is much higher.

Dominating someone, like any other form of sexual topping, is arousing and fun--but it's not its own reward in the strictest sense.  There has to be an actual reversal, a turn-about where my lover actually participates actively in my orgasm, and I receive at least some of that energy and attention back.

This is why I enjoy intercourse, and other forms of strenuous, ecstatic service topping from a submissive.  It's nice to have a man who bottoms well, but that's not enough for me; I'm not satisfied by a man who just receives and never gives.

This is why I've never had the slightest difficulty understanding why some women charge a wad of money per hour for domination.  I don't care what the guy looks like or how prettily he gasps and moans--if it's all about him, it's all about him, and yes...it's a drain. 

_____________________________

"Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea."
-- Robert A. Heinlein

(in reply to AAkasha)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Does domination make you want to have sexual interc... - 10/13/2008 12:13:33 AM   
malloves69


Posts: 913
Joined: 9/15/2006
Status: offline 		all i know is after my mistress fucks me with her strapons boy is she wet  and thats a wonderfull thing indeed which usually leads to sex  cleaned up many a puddle of hers with my tongue ...mouth ...and lips ..love the look on her face when she cums  love sharing that with her  mal ...a lady who squirts is truly amazing

(in reply to ShaktiSama)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Does domination make you want to have sexual interc... - 10/13/2008 2:50:32 AM   
tweedydaddy


Posts: 673
Joined: 9/1/2008
Status: offline 		I think if I had intercourse with a submissive then I would be just another woman.
Why ground the magic? Why do what every other woman on earth can do for them? I don't think the dynamic would be anything like as strong. It would corrode my relationships. They always want what they can't have, it's don't touch the red button syndrome, they'll never get that from me. With me, they can keep wanting.

(in reply to AAkasha)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Does domination make you want to have sexual interc... - 10/13/2008 5:55:12 AM   
nauticathorAsh


Posts: 1
Joined: 10/13/2008
Status: offline 		heloo


(in reply to tweedydaddy)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Does domination make you want to have sexual interc... - 10/13/2008 7:22:29 AM   
thetammyjo


Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: AAkasha



Does it turn you on in a manner that to not have an orgasm would be frustrating?

Akasha



No.

But this is because I live a 24/7 owner-slave dynamic.

Who has time to orgasm 24/7?

_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to AAkasha)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Does domination make you want to have sexual interc... - 10/13/2008 8:47:35 AM   
MsAuthoritarian


Posts: 51
Joined: 9/14/2008
Status: offline 		Being the boss in my relationships does not turn me on in the least, it simply allows me to be myself and to be appreciated for being myself. Now SM on the other hand does turn me on but not so much that I MUST have an orgasm. Only in personal relationships do my clothes ever come off otherwise, play is simply play to me.
 
~Ms

(in reply to thetammyjo)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Does domination make you want to have sexual interc... - 10/13/2008 8:52:41 AM   
VampiresLair


Posts: 1307
Joined: 9/3/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: AAkasha
Does it turn you on in a manner that to not have an orgasm would be frustrating?
Akasha

Domination in general, no. Certain dominant acts do, some do not. I do not get excited when I tell Fox to go make coffee or when I have im vacuum or do dishes. It is a little different if I have him dress a certain way or we have S&M play, but in general every day domination no.
When I had Angel, it NEVER did, so it has a lot to do with not only the act but also the person.

DV


_____________________________

Separately we are DiurnalVampire and DVsFox

10/18 Wedding date. 1 year and still blissfully happy

10/13/10 3 year anniversary of his becoming my Fox

Talk impolitely to me, baby - Thanks sunshinemiss



(in reply to AAkasha)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Does domination make you want to have sexual interc... - 10/13/2008 12:25:37 PM   
rhpaw


Posts: 63
Joined: 5/19/2005
Status: offline 		With the tingly high you get when you have your mistress press you into submission and you shout your devotion it is not neccessary if you see her close to orgasm or see her small grin of pride.

_____________________________

If at first you don't suceed why not try the way mistress told you to do it you dumass.
If you worry about what people think of you. You'd be surprized how seldom they do.

(in reply to VampiresLair)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Does domination make you want to have sexual interc... - 10/13/2008 2:06:49 PM   
RumpusParable


Posts: 1923
Joined: 7/7/2005
From: NYC now!
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: AAkasha



Does it turn you on in a manner that to not have an orgasm would be frustrating?

Akasha



Not unless it's over someone who I already have a sexual relationship with...

In and of itself, no.  It's just a natural relationship/behavior for me.  Nor does topping... it's a lot of other great things, but not sexually exciting usually.

_____________________________

Relationships come and go, but plastination is forever.

I generally use fast-reply. If directing my post at someone specific I will indicate so.

Minimal summary: Artist, Disabled Veteran, Vegan, Pornographer, and Agender dominant female.

(in reply to AAkasha)
Profile   Post #: 20
Page:   [1] 2   next >   >>
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Mistress >> Does domination make you want to have sexual intercourse or orgasm? Page: [1] 2   next >   >>
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.105