RE: Feeling very protective

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MidMichCowboy -> RE: Feeling very protective (10/13/2008 5:43:22 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SlaveIndigochild Dear MAMandslave i'm not afraid to make mistakes. i'm not afraid to show my fears. i'm not afraid. We seem to put too much fear into a very natural act of passing on. It's a part of the circle that is life and yet, so many get so afraid of it. You are blessed to be able to share it with his father. Always show his father respect. May you and your master find support, love and understanding between you. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

stella41b -> RE: Feeling very protective (10/13/2008 9:51:53 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MidMichCowboy We seem to put too much fear into a very natural act of passing on. It's a part of the circle that is life and yet, so many get so afraid of it. You are blessed to be able to share it with his father. Always show his father respect. May you and your master find support, love and understanding between you. My thoughts and prayers are with you. I'm not too sure whether to agree or disagree with this. I'm split. My reason for disagreement is that, unless the person is killed or is living in complete and total isolation it's not the case of dying but also very much a case of separation from loved ones and the ending of relationships. This causes a great amount of emotional distress, heartache and pain. Even more so because you are not walking away, you are dying. But then again it depends on the circumstances, the person, and the relationships. But only for this part and the rest above I am in total agreement with. There is however very real fear because you are leaving the material, physical world, and all which is substance and matter of you is also left behind where only the spirit and energy remains and moves on. I believe there is some level of existence beyond this one, for I believe there is reincarnation, I also subscribe to the anthroposophy of Rudolf SDteiner and I have survived clinical death. But that is as far as I believe that there is something. You see I think back to life and realise my earliest memories of being alive are no closer than eighteen months after my birth. If dying as a physical process takes a few months of tissue and cell breakdown, then surely that process will continue after the moment of death. What is there? I don't know, and to be honest at this moment in my life I don't care. I will deal with that stage when it happens. But even today I am not afraid of going through that process and I live my life on the premise that this could happen at any time. I am reconciled to this fact, I am aware of just how short, how fragile life is, and that the only thing you really take with you and what you leave behind are the happy memories, the love, the friendship, and so on. Often a death or having to provide palliative care to someone underscores the frailty and vulnerability of life and that need to reach out to others and to ensure that everything which is meant to be said and expressed actually does end up being expressed and said. I stand by SlaveIndigoChild and her Master through this difficult time and remind them that they are very much in my thoughts and prayers.

MidMichCowboy -> RE: Feeling very protective (10/13/2008 10:24:49 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: stella41b My reason for disagreement is that, unless the person is killed or is living in complete and total isolation it's not the case of dying but also very much a case of separation from loved ones and the ending of relationships. This causes a great amount of emotional distress, heartache and pain. Even more so because you are not walking away, you are dying. You are correct Stella. But, in many cultures, and not too far in our past, we did not fear this transition. As modern societies faith has faltered and we looked for intelligent reasons for death, we became afraid of it, because it was just the failure of the body. We extend the pain and suffering of the last stage of life, because of the fear of the person passing on, and/or the fear of the persons who will grieve. But, is death the end of relationships? As one who has been close a few times (more times than my doctor recommends), I guess I have a different attitude. With a strict living will in place, I hope to go out with style and a smile on the lips of my loved ones. I will welcome the journey with my eternal curiosity. With sorrow for the companionship of loved ones (temporarily) lost, and a little fear of the unknown, I hope to move onward. Be it tomorrow or in 30 years, it's just another step I will take. I hope the joy of my life and my curiosity toward the next step will give my loved ones some relief. I don't claim the wisdom to have answers for everyone, hopefully I have enough wisdom for my path through this world.

SultryMomma -> RE: Feeling very protective (10/14/2008 5:45:48 AM)
My heart goes out to you and your Master and his family. My father in law just passed away in March, three days after Easter, from lung cancer. Granted, I am the Top in my relationship with my husband, but, I was even more protective of him while caring for his dad. Please remember, all of you need to take a break once in awhile. Even if its for a drive down to the local coffee shop or to the gas station. You all need it. My mail is always open if you need to talk. SM (Kris)

LaTigresse -> RE: Feeling very protective (10/14/2008 8:57:46 AM)
I am extremely protective of the people I love. The rest of the world, not so much so.

Daes -> RE: Feeling very protective (10/14/2008 10:37:31 AM)
My deepest condolences, this must be a very difficult time for your all. And sometimes its good to cry. Hugs I'm very protective of my relationships. My cousin Cody knows this fairly well, he's like a little brother to me, and he got into a relationship with this girl who was very controlling of him to the point where he was stressing out every day, she was causing issues with other close friends, yelling/cursing at him in front of friends and at school- and he was just Taking it. I wanted to smack her, though I couldnt do anything to her, she was 14. So after giving him some long talks, and me threatening to kick her out if I saw her at his house, he broke up with her. >.> He now has a nice girl that treats him with respect/kindness. If a person is screwing around with someone I care about and they talk me about it, I become directly involved - their concerns and worries become mine, at which point I draw my own conclusions about the person causing problems, then try to figure out solutions that might be helpful to my friend/lover. If the situation turns into a pile of BS, I want to keep myself and those I'm close to away from it. Sometimes I feel that the person causing the problems isn't worth the trouble and should just be dropped and cut off; and this can come out in a variety of ways. In most cases, I tend to be manipulative, and I can see and admit that. For example - I know Cody highly values my opinion, I love him as much as he loves me, he wants my "approval" for the girls he is with because he looks up to me. This girl he was with was horrible to him, so I simply told him that I did Not want her in my presence and if I saw her I would kick her out, because No one treats my cousin that way.. It was grounds for burning the relationship and I knew it - but I was careful about it. Her behavior was completely unacceptable, but He had to be the one to get rid of her. If the person I care about isn't taking care of a situation that is unhealthy to them, in any way, shape, or form - I tend to step in, whether its them being sick, stressed, or dealing with another individual, and I'll use whatever methods available to fix the situation for his/her benefit.

SlaveIndigochild -> RE: Feeling very protective (10/15/2008 4:59:58 AM)
'Dad' passed peacefully in the very early hours of this morning. Master was dutiful and respectful and in control right throughout the process. There's one aspect of the process which has impressed itself upon me the most: it was all exactly as it was meant to be. If Dad had not been ill there would have been no relocation to the UK and it is doubtful that Master and i would have met. Dad was aware how very happy we are as a couple and he and i grew very close. This has been a great opporunity for creating a strong bond between u. The fumral will be next week. I view this as a further opportunity to serve. My role within our dynamic gives me very clear guidelines as to my role and what to do. It's also made me realise, as death inevitably does, that life is precious, and short. That life is a miraculous opportunity to love and to experience and to create. Strangely my computer crashed last night. It really is just a blue screen. I'm using a friend's to write this. Nothing was backed up and i have lost much of my so-called importatnt things: pics, stories and also all my contacts. Some of those email contacts can be retrieved but you know what? Much of what we deemed important really is not so. It is the intangible aspects of relationships which are indeed of a magnitude i tended to forget. Frienship, support, giving, communication.....indeed just being there for someone else can be critical. I am stronger than ever in my felings of protectiveness of all of those whom i love. Thank you all of those who have mailed us. It's been an amazing process.

stella41b -> RE: Feeling very protective (10/15/2008 6:55:31 AM)
A gentle wind blew across the land Reaching out to take a hand For on the winds the angels came Calling out a father's name Left behind the family's tears And memories of love throughout the years Of joy and smiles, a life well spent And now towards God a father's sent On angelic wings, a heavenly flight The journey onward towards the light To those who grieve, a life is gone But in God's love, it's still before dawn In deepest sympathy stella..

Patrick2005 -> RE: Feeling very protective (10/15/2008 7:00:01 AM)
I don't have anything to add, except to express our sympathy, and to tell you that you, your Master, and of course his father, are in our prayers.

scarlethiney -> RE: Feeling very protective (10/15/2008 7:11:38 AM)
Yes, I have always felt protective of those I love and being a mother is something I find hard to turn off. I realize every one doesn't need me to be nurturing and motherly, but it does define me and is a part of me that I know I do well and that pleases me. Sometimes I think when we are overwhelmed I believe that's when our triggers show themselves. Your doing so much and worrying so about your Master may have contributed to that reaction. I'm so sorry you and your Master are hurting and hope that his father's journey is a swift and less painful one. I think every thing you did for your Master and his family was a lovely expression of who you are and how you feel. You are in my prayers.

oldr4yngr1965 -> RE: Feeling very protective (10/15/2008 8:21:58 AM)
As someone who has lost, now, both parents, I have two things to say: First, I am so sorry to hear what your Master is going through... please know that my thoughts and prayers are with you both. There is no easy way to watch a parent die, but unless one goes first, it is inevitable -- and it is a privilege to be in a position to ease their final time here on earth, be it hours, days, weeks, or months. And second, your Master is an incredibly fortunate man to have you. I did not have such support at my parents' passings, and it would have greatly eased both my heartache and the psycho-emotional stress I was under. Please do not feel that you have failed. You are, after all, only human. I have no doubt that your Master is deeply grateful for your caring and protection, whether or not he is able to articulate it, or even fully realize it, at present. You are indeed both brave and strong. I hope that I may have the privilege and honor of finding such a one as you, one day. Thomas

RCdc -> RE: Feeling very protective (10/15/2008 8:41:48 AM)
Love for you and yours.

lovingpet -> RE: Feeling very protective (10/15/2008 10:17:54 AM)
Sympathies and my thoughts and prayers with you both...... lovingpet

TysGalilah -> RE: Feeling very protective (10/15/2008 5:49:36 PM)
gentle hugz of support

MAMandSlave -> RE: Feeling very protective (10/15/2008 11:22:19 PM)
My sympathies for your loss to you and your master, It is good that you have each other.

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Feeling very protective (10/16/2008 7:50:38 AM)
Actually your post kicked up my desire to be protective of your masters father. For me your descriptions were way too graphic and personal to have needed to be put here just for you to make the point you wanted and it felt like a violation- when he is in no state to do anything about it for himself. I know that those are my feelings, but I think it illustrates your point perfectly- when we see "wrongs" and feel connected to others, we want to do something/anything to make it right again. I think you should put more energy into remaining stable and not letting your own sense of ego get so easily punctured and feeling "excluded."

Daes -> RE: Feeling very protective (10/16/2008 9:30:57 AM)
My sympathies for your loss, my heart goes out to you, your Master, and your family.

LPslittleclip -> RE: Feeling very protective (10/16/2008 6:01:43 PM)
warmest wishes to you and yours during this time. there was a time when i was still being considered for a collar that my M'Lady had a car accident.at the time i had no car but when she called and told me i borrowed one and hurried to be with her. she wasn't injured but very shaken by it. it impressed my M'Lady very much to be so worried over by a as yet uncollared sub. .

Lockit -> RE: Feeling very protective (10/16/2008 11:55:54 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross Actually your post kicked up my desire to be protective of your masters father. For me your descriptions were way too graphic and personal to have needed to be put here just for you to make the point you wanted and it felt like a violation- when he is in no state to do anything about it for himself. I know that those are my feelings, but I think it illustrates your point perfectly- when we see "wrongs" and feel connected to others, we want to do something/anything to make it right again. I think you should put more energy into remaining stable and not letting your own sense of ego get so easily punctured and feeling "excluded." Hummmm… I am trying very hard to temper myself here. I must say that you brought out a protective instinct within me that I am finding difficult to not respond to. When I feel that strongly, something hits a core something or other and mostly when that happens, I feel an injustice has been done. I cannot prove a point without saying things that Indigo might find painful and although I know she can well defend herself, I instinctively must risk being misunderstood and as if I feel the need to protect in a way that is improper without being able to prove my point. But I do find that your timing in aiming a dart at someone you clearly argue with or feel is somehow inferior in emotional wellness, is rather cold hearted and rather offensive coming from one as well versed in mental health issues as you have presented here on these boards. You can’t give it a break during a time of sorrow? You must dig at an old wound between you, showing to at least me, that there is room to question your motives of proving your point by using a man who is unable to read this board and know for a fact anything said and no one here knows him? Just what is your point? And must you make it at this time? You feel protective of someone you do not know and feel too much was said and you were so offended by the sharing of such human weakness and pain or even dysfunction in your eyes that you just had to make a point, to point out how unhealthy you think Indio is. Well let me tell you… Indigo may have some issues and she knows them well and works on them… but she is one of the most warm hearted, even spirited, loving and humane people I have ever known and you… well… you seem very cold and unprofessional. So if your good mental and emotional health is an example of how we all should be… I am sticking with Indigo. Even if there is some part that is not emotionally sound here, rudeness is also an aspect of life that is enhanced by good emotional health.

greyjay -> RE: Feeling very protective (10/17/2008 12:30:49 AM)
Your Master is very lucky to have you. Everyone goes through good times and bad times, and even the hardest of men or women need support and love occasionally.

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