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AbstractSavant -> RE: no reply (12/8/2005 2:23:22 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: blackdomuk

thanks
i appreciate your advice, its just that i was confused as to why im getting nowhere? why are women ignoring me?
i knew it couldnt be because im black surely!

i accept that not all women will find me appealing and some just wont reply...fair enough[:o]


Because your profile sounds like a fantasy wank for a guy who doesn't know beans about BDSM.



BlkTallFullfig -> RE: no reply (12/8/2005 2:33:07 PM)

quote:

i am arguing from the sub male side...in the past i advertised as a sub and i made no rude suggestions etc and i got no reply?
and then when i write to ask why i was blocked?
Is it possible you are a switch and want to relate to both submissive and dominant women? I am here seeking submissive/slave men. The only time I've written to dominant men is when I've had a question or he is someone I've come to know on the boards as a real gentleman.

I have been contacted by dominant men seeking fem slaves, and though it baffles me, I reply; We chat, and naturally, it goes nowhere, because "most" dominant men and I would not do well together (usually because we have too little or too much in common).
Why do it? I don't understand why you would contact random strangers who seek the exact opposite of what you are, if you don't enjoy rejection. [&o] M



BlkTallFullfig -> RE: no reply (12/8/2005 2:37:37 PM)

quote:

I guess common courtesy & simple human decency isn't practiced as often as it should be in the vanilla world; why should it be practiced in this one.
That is the truth, and unfortunate, but best you realize that sooner than later. People within wiitwd aren't any more courteous, and don't owe a stranger any more than the average citizen. M



BlkTallFullfig -> RE: no reply (12/8/2005 2:41:56 PM)

quote:

are black male subs undesirable? or do you prefer dominant black men ?
Dude, I'm sorry, but you are sounding more pathetic with each post, and this makes you undesirable, not the color of your skin. I'd say black subs are very desirable, and would dare say there is a shortage of them... Alas, there is a shortage of submissive gentlemen period, but enough about me. [:D] M



caitlyn -> RE: no reply (12/8/2005 2:49:22 PM)

I don't want to pile on, as lots of people are getting after you pretty good ... but why is it that you keep saying things like "black slave" or "white mistress" or "black dom?"

You remind me of something that happened to me when I was 16. I worked on a school project with this really cool guy and we became friends. We would go to lunch together and hang out, etc ...

One day we were talking and he said something like, "I always wanted to ask you out, but I didn't think you would date a black man." I was totally blown away by that, and to be honest, a little offended. I had never done anything to deserve a statement like that, almost implying that I would have something against him, just because he was black. I mean, we were friends after all.

So, I wasn't going to let it go ... I looked right back and him and said, "Well, I wouldn't date a "black man" (raising my fingers like little quotes), but I would date any guy I wanted, as long as I really liked him." Well, he never made it past the "I wouldn't date a black man." He never even thought about what I said, and that what I was really saying was that I would date anyone I wanted, as long as I liked them. Oh, he got offended, and called me a racist and said he would have never imagined that I was such a cracker.

I realized at that moment, there would never be any chance in a relationship with him. See, that guy didn't need anyone to be a racist towards him ... because he was too busy being a racist towards himself.

So, my advice to you is get a new screen name, and stop beating everyone over the head (especially yourself) with this "black slave", "white mistress", "black dom", crap. Why don't you just try being a cool guy that is looking for a relationship with a nice woman that he can get along with?



LadyMorgynn -> RE: no reply (12/8/2005 3:15:27 PM)

Bravo! There is more insght and knowledge in this post than I've heard from people three times your age.

quote:

ORIGINAL: caitlyn
I realized at that moment, there would never be any chance in a relationship with him. See, that guy didn't need anyone to be a racist towards him ... because he was too busy being a racist towards himself.




BlkTallFullfig -> RE: no reply (12/8/2005 3:19:19 PM)

quote:

Why don't you just try being a cool guy that is looking for a relationship with a nice woman that he can get along with?
I would say this is the best part of Caitlyn's advice. Someone asking "would you date" was outrageous for Caitlyn but it isn't for most folks. I know people ask me if I date "insert whatever they are" all the time, so that I know it is an important factor. M



Krasnaya -> RE: no reply (12/8/2005 3:43:34 PM)

Ok first of all I can't believe how many times I've heard all of this.
GOD

1. You have to prove that you deserve respect to get it.
2. It's rude to make demands of a complete stranger.
3. You shouldn't change your sexual preferences based on the reaction you get from a select group of people from an online community.
4. Have you checked where these people you contact live? Probably not in the UK.
5. You should have your profile reflect more what you REALLY want and not what you've seen in porn or whever else you got that.
6. Anyone that chooses a partner based on race isn't worth YOUR time.
7. Whining is not sexy. Stop.
8. And last....if someone says no don't respond with why. That is rude because they have made it clear that your interest is not welcome. That's why you would get blocked plain and simple.


Best of luck to you.



LadiesBladewing -> RE: no reply (12/8/2005 3:46:08 PM)

One issue that I've encountered is that, though I -do- reply to most of the civil messages I receive, I've been sorely frustrated when people get angry with me for not responding fast enough.

I have a very very busy life, and usually like to think a bit about how I want to frame a response, so it may take me a day or a couple of days to respond to any particular message. It angers me considerably when I write a well-thought-out response, and I get back a nasty note telling me that I should have written them as -soon- as I got the original message.

I will respond, but everything in my life is prioritized, and if you are new, you are NOT at the top of my priority list. I won't apologize for this. I have many people who I am responsible for, and that and the other commitments I have made will always come before queries or comments from online folks (important to note here that I do not take on "online subs" or do online collars, so online will always be superseded by offline.)

Lady Zephyr



BlkTallFullfig -> RE: no reply (12/8/2005 4:00:52 PM)

quote:

Ok first of all I can't believe how many times I've heard all of this.
GOD
1. You have to prove that you deserve respect to get it.
2. It's rude to make demands of a complete stranger.
3. You shouldn't change your sexual preferences based on the reaction you get from a select group of people from an online community.
4. Have you checked where these people you contact live? Probably not in the UK.
5. You should have your profile reflect more what you REALLY want and not what you've seen in porn or whever else you got that.
6. Anyone that chooses a partner based on race isn't worth YOUR time.
7. Whining is not sexy. Stop.
8. And last....if someone says no don't respond with why. That is rude because they have made it clear that your interest is not welcome. That's why you would get blocked plain and simple.
Great post Krasnaya!
I only wish you had clicked on blackdomuk before replying so that people reading page 4 don't think I'm the one with all these issues (I have so many of my own, lol). [8D] M



fldrkhorse -> RE: no reply (12/8/2005 4:14:51 PM)

Brother, you are making the classic sub mistake. You interpret a non response by a stranger as a personal rejection. The fact is everyone has an idea, my experience has been it's mostly physical, of what they're looking for. In addition, I cannot be rejected by a stranger. A stranger by definition doesn't know me, therefore has no grounds for rejection. Someone used the example of meeting someone in a bar and she walked away. That's not a personal rejection. I get tons of "why didn't he like me" from subs in search. And it trully isn't personal. If you take these non responses personally, you'll drive yourself crazy. Respond to the ones that respond to you, online and in real life. They're the only one that deserve your time and energy.



MHOO314 -> RE: no reply (12/8/2005 4:39:13 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: fldrkhorse

Brother, you are making the classic sub mistake. You interpret a non response by a stranger as a personal rejection. The fact is everyone has an idea, my experience has been it's mostly physical, of what they're looking for. In addition, I cannot be rejected by a stranger. A stranger by definition doesn't know me, therefore has no grounds for rejection. Someone used the example of meeting someone in a bar and she walked away. That's not a personal rejection. I get tons of "why didn't he like me" from subs in search. And it trully isn't personal. If you take these non responses personally, you'll drive yourself crazy. Respond to the ones that respond to you, online and in real life. They're the only one that deserve your time and energy.



Ahem---- I was wondering when the drkhorse would ride in to the camp of reason and sanity---nice timing---smiles




Krasnaya -> RE: no reply (12/8/2005 6:10:00 PM)

quote:

I only wish you had clicked on blackdomuk before replying so that people reading page 4 don't think I'm the one with all these issues (I have so many of my own


Oh my gosh! BTF I am so sorry I didn't even think about it.

[:)]



perverseangelic -> RE: no reply (12/8/2005 10:32:28 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: blackdomuk

yes i realise that my profile is quite extreme and thats likely why i get no replies?
this is why i like communication or feedback because its given me something to think about and perhaps change too.

really my bark is worser than my bite!!
im quite shy in person and made the mistake of putting on a hard exterior to hide my shy sensitive side.

all in all i dont think this is the lifestyle for me cause im too demanding and too sensitive.


Honeestly, your profile isn't "too extreme" for me. It's unrealistic. You state a bunch of expectations, but I have trouble believing you've =honestly= thought through what your expectations entail.

If you wrote to me, after reading your profile I would probably be under the impression that you hadn't quite thought about what you were asking for.

Also, consider listing as a switch. I realize there is a prejudice against switches, but I think you'll get better reactions listing as switch than you will alternating from one orientation to the other. That makes it look liek you're switching to get kinky sex, as opposed to switching because you're attracted to both roles.



Misstoyou -> RE: no reply (12/8/2005 11:12:54 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: blackdomuk

are black male subs undesirable?



Don't be silly. Mine's a joy. [:)]



FTopinMichigan -> RE: no reply (12/9/2005 7:09:34 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: perverseangelic
Honeestly, your profile isn't "too extreme" for me. It's unrealistic. You state a bunch of expectations, but I have trouble believing you've =honestly= thought through what your expectations entail.

If you wrote to me, after reading your profile I would probably be under the impression that you hadn't quite thought about what you were asking for.


Good point. I try to review a profile as soon as I get an e-mail. I read the profile BEFORE I open the e-mail, and if the profile indicates anything like mentioned...I might delete the e-mail before opening, as it's more than evident the person contacting me, hadn't read my own profile, or they wouldn't be responding to me at all.

I have gotten those that will say, "but that profile isn't really me"....it's to get the attention of so-in-so...etc., meaning those of the opposite orientation. (i.e. Doms contacting me as staunch subs with tons of experience, but having a clearly dominant, "I AM THE DOM" like profile listed)

If the profile is obnoxious, and is to give a hint to the person...the email will reflect the same, and the person...well, they'll be no surprise than either.

I recall the OP talking about being a Dom 'cause his sub possibilities were slight. That's enough reason alone for submissive ladies to question him, and his intent, IMO.

I'd suggest getting more familiar with the lifestyle and what it entails, and then search yourself to find where you are most comfortable. A sub playing Dom can be misleading, especially with such a profile being listed.

As for the race card being called, when I get contacted by someone that begins their e-mail by identifying by their "color"...I'm not much interested. Being proud of your race is one thing, but to have that be the single most important indentfying characteristic, is another. A good man, is a good man, as I see it.

K



KatyLied -> RE: no reply (12/9/2005 7:41:57 AM)

quote:

inspection followed by painful and humiliating endurance tests and if you pass my tests you will be collared, branded and registered as my property to do with as i see fit.


I think that's a "powerful" start to your profile. Perhaps too powerful.



Phoenxx -> RE: no reply (12/9/2005 7:52:45 AM)

Let’s see if this helps explain a few things.
One day you’re sitting at home. There is a knock at the door. You wander over and open it. The people there hand you a magazine called something like the Tower of Watching. And then start talking about God’s message to you. And how you need to take care of your soul. How you can be saved and how much it feels great to be saved. After an hour, you thank them for the twentieth time and finally shut the door.

Next month there is another knock at your door. Again you wander over. And it’s the same people with this month’s magazine, and the message again. Thirty minutes later this time you firmly, but politely thank them and shut the door.

Guess what? Next month around the same time, there is another knock. And yes it is them again. New magazine, same message. And this time after twenty minutes you explain about your cake in the oven. Now you really don’t have a cake baking. But isn’t it rude to tell them to shove off when they give you this lovely magazine that you didn’t ask for and really don’t like or want to read?

Twenty some days pass. And knock; knock its delivery time again. You take the magazine again, but explain that you really do have to run. Your sick sister needs a lift to the doctor’s and you really have to get her there in time. You feel a slight twinge about the fact you’re really an only child.

Two months and two magazines later, you post a sign about no soliciting on your front door. However as they are not trying to sell you anything they keep coming back.

Another three months and three more of these damn magazines you post a sign about no flyers on your mail box, and one that says screw the dog BEWARE the owner. Do they get the message? NO. They keep coming back

Another year and another 12 magazines later, you answer the door covered in pig’s blood, with the sound track from Satan’s Lover playing at full volume. Maybe now they will leave you alone!!!!

Tony



addcted2it -> RE: no reply (12/9/2005 7:53:29 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: blackdomuk

just a question for the mistresses...

why is it that when someone takes the time to write to you,
you give no reply?

now i know the most obvious answer is likely to be, oh he was disrespectful! or he was after one thing!



The writer does make a good point here. And it really doesn't help when someone writes that no one is obligated to respond.

Femdoms are undoubtedly flooded with responses, as are probably male doms, so it is understandable that they may not have the time to respond to each and every letter. However, courtesy does dictate that one should at least send a "no thank you" to the person making the inquiry, even though there may not be a connection.

Some possible reasons why no response has been generated:

- Responder did not read the profile carefully, and did not address certain issues.
- Responder may have left something out of the request, such as a photograph.
- Responder may have been rude or otherwise sexually-suggestive in their response.
- Person being wrtten to has not yet read the mail.
- Mail could have been deleted by accident.
- Person being written to is too rude to reply.
- Spelling and punctuation was not up to standard. (This is a big turnoff for some.)
- Person being written to does not want unsolicited mail.

This is in no way a complete list, but it does serve to point out that there are many reasons why mail is not answered. This happens to all of us at one time or another, so I wouldn't take it personally.


addicted2it



MHOO314 -> RE: no reply (12/11/2005 8:41:41 AM)

I love it Abstract when you speak your mind--



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