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RE: To be Called Master or Mistress - 8/8/2004 4:32:14 PM   
LadyAngelika


Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004
Status: offline
quote:

In my personal life with my partner, I prefer M'lady (in scene) or my real name (all other times).


Same goes for me. Though it is Miss or Mistress in a scene.

- LA

_____________________________

Une main de fer dans un gant de velours ~ An iron hand in a velvet glove

(in reply to MistressZanthia)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: To be Called Master or Mistress - 8/8/2004 6:09:06 PM   
compes


Posts: 92
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		Being Ex-military, I have had a deep respect drummed into me over rightfully earned titles.

In my opinion, the problem with the BDSM world is that, as far as I can tell, there is no real universally recognized authority to bestow the title of "Master" or "Mistress" on anyone. (Well, you COULD become a qualified ship pilot - they are given the title of Master by that authority... )

So, as far as I can tell, only a slave or submissive can bestow a title, and it works only between those two people. Being called "Master", "Sir", or "Grand Poo-Bah" is up to that couple to work out.

I think that a tight-knit BDSM community may become a sort of "authority" capable of bestowing a title. In our BDSM community, the founder of our BDSM group seems to always be referred to as Mistress, even by other dominants. From what I can see, this is not just an acknowledgement of her preference, but also an acknowledgement of her as founder, and an expression of love and/or respect by the group. Her title would not carry much weight to anyone outside of our community.

As for me - I do not allow anyone to call me "Sir" unless that person has agreed to be my sub or slave, (if even for just the length of a scene). To me the term "Master" carries a similar defining power as the words "Spouse" or "Husband", and I reserve that title for those who feel that strongly about me.

Compes

(in reply to LadyAngelika)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: To be Called Master or Mistress - 8/8/2004 6:42:29 PM   
LadyBeckett


Posts: 865
Joined: 2/4/2004
From: Scotland/Tennessee
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Sinergy

quote:

I don't allow subs to call me Mistress. That is reserved for when I have a sub in more than a consideration collar.


I do not allow anybody to call me Mistress.

Sinergy

p.s. It is a KILT, not a dress.


I do declare, I laughed so hard I turned mah chair over. ouch.

Like ladyangel, and I'm quite sure Dread (although they wouldn't allow her to catch them doing it, I'm sure!), males seem to be inclined to speak to my breasts. Some females do also, but on the average, not quite as many as males. And I have this look about me. I'm 52 years old and I still look like a red headed, grey eyed, freckle faced Scottish lass. If I don't speak, people are inclined, when they are not speaking to my breasts, to address me as "Honey", "Dear" or even better "Dearie", "Sugar", "Baby Doll", etc. When I speak, of course, that changes immediately to "Ma'am", "Miss", or "Lady". My friends call me whatever they want to. My children call me Mama, and those who serve me call me Lady Beckett. It's that easy.

_____________________________

Lady Beckett

_______________________________________________

"Submissive boys yearn to fall into their proper place, so the rest of their life will." ~ Lady Beckett

(in reply to Sinergy)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: To be Called Master or Mistress - 8/8/2004 7:00:30 PM   
Sundew02


Posts: 457
Joined: 2/6/2004
Status: offline 		I forgot about that. When ever I go to get my car fix they start by calling me little missy. Laughing, that quickly changes to a strained "Ma'am" when I let them know I will not sit meekly by while they ream my butt. Like the old joke, "yeah, little missy we have to replace your muffler bearings, their fifty dollars a piece, plus labor of course" Laughing. Sundew

_____________________________


~~~~~Enjoy the ride, the landing could get painful~~~~

(in reply to LadyBeckett)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: To be Called Master or Mistress - 8/9/2004 11:01:29 AM   
basiasubrosa


Posts: 130
Joined: 6/23/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: TallDarkAndWitty

quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressDREAD
Whats in a name?


That which we call a rose / By any other name would smell as sweet.


Awwwwwww........... <gush>

To continue the Shakespearean thread and the title thread together, every time my Former Signigicant Other and i met or spoke after a long hiatus, it was always
"Good my Lord, how doth your honor for this many a day?"
"Well, well, well....."

<sigh....>

< Message edited by basiasubrosa -- 8/9/2004 11:02:27 AM >

(in reply to TallDarkAndWitty)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: To be Called Master or Mistress - 8/9/2004 11:15:47 AM   
afmvdp


Posts: 494
Joined: 7/10/2004
Status: offline 		Unfortunately that is correct. Joe "can't get laid" can wake up tommorrow morning and try on the Master monicker cause he thinks sub women are easy. Problem is due to there being so many different methods of thinking and desires it's not like you can go out and apply for a license. Just another reason I don't like using the Master/slave terms think they're thrown around way to light heartedly.

(in reply to compes)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: To be Called Master or Mistress - 8/9/2004 4:20:42 PM   
topcat


Posts: 1675
Joined: 1/31/2004
From: Tidewater, VA
Status: offline 		'how could distain not thrive when there is such rich meat..."

"I know him of old- he always finsishes with a jade's trick..."

(now that I have BUTCHERED my favorite Shakespear, I am getting a new collected works tomorrow, as I can't live without it anymore...)

< Message edited by topcat -- 8/9/2004 5:45:10 PM >

_____________________________

-there is no remission without blood-

(in reply to basiasubrosa)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: To be Called Master or Mistress - 8/10/2004 2:47:44 AM   
basiasubrosa


Posts: 130
Joined: 6/23/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: topcat

'how could distain not thrive when there is such rich meat..."

"I know him of old- he always finsishes with a jade's trick..."

(now that I have BUTCHERED my favorite Shakespear, I am getting a new collected works tomorrow, as I can't live without it anymore...)


<SCREEEAM!! and SWOON!......>

BENEDICK
What, my dear Lady Disdain! are you yet living?

BEATRICE
Is it possible disdain should die while she hath such meet food to feed it as Signior Benedick? Courtesy itself must convert to disdain, if you come in her presence.

BENEDICK
Then is courtesy a turncoat. But it is certain I am loved of all ladies, only you excepted: and I would I could find in my heart that I had not a hard heart; for, truly, I love none.

BEATRICE
A dear happiness to women: they would else have been troubled with a pernicious suitor. I thank God and my cold blood, I am of your humour for that: I had rather hear my dog bark at a crow than a man swear he loves me.

BENEDICK
God keep your ladyship still in that mind! so some gentleman or other shall 'scape a predestinate scratched face.

BEATRICE
Scratching could not make it worse, an 'twere such a face as yours were.

BENEDICK
Well, you are a rare parrot-teacher.

BEATRICE
A bird of my tongue is better than a beast of yours.

BENEDICK
I would my horse had the speed of your tongue, and so good a continuer. But keep your way, i' God's name; I have done.

BEATRICE
You always end with a jade's trick: I know you of old.

Much Ado, I.i

<slowly rises, and swoons again>

Don't get me started here....


For anyone thus inclined, the illustrious MIT has done the world yet another service:
Complete Shakespeare Online

(in reply to topcat)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: To be Called Master or Mistress - 8/10/2004 3:45:32 AM   
Sylverdawn


Posts: 1123
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		this has been an issue for me in a previous relationship so I have given it some extensive thought

I am Dawn to those who are close to me. Ma'am or Ms to my boys..Mistress if they choose but its not a personal preference for me.

Master.. yes I know several who have been given that honorfic .. both males and females if they choose to use it and its their preference I will use it. No man ( insert woman ) is my Master who I do not choose to give service to. It's simply for me a form of address. I dont choose that title because I feel that I am a journey(wo)man .. learning my trade in my travels through my life. Perhaps one day I will feel I have Mastered the skill of dominantion sufficiently to claim or be given that title. Until then I am simply Ms, Ma'am or Dawn.

My submissives use Sir or Ma'am in greeting others because I prefer a formalized form of address. I subscribe to a slightly Gothsford Park view of D/s ..there are those above stairs ( those who are served ) and those who are below stairs (those in service) for each their are rules of conduct to be adhered to. It helps for me to set the boundries and expectations of the relationship. So for me forms of address indeed important.

_____________________________

“When women are depressed, they eat or go shopping. Men invade another country. It's a whole different way of thinking.” Elyane Boosler

Being a women is hard work Maya Angelou

(in reply to basiasubrosa)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: To be Called Master or Mistress - 8/10/2004 4:57:43 AM   
topcat


Posts: 1675
Joined: 1/31/2004
From: Tidewater, VA
Status: offline 		Midear Basia-

"remeber, you, though it be not written down, I am an ass..."

I think it was Keatons best role to date<g>.

Stay warm,
Lawrence

_____________________________

-there is no remission without blood-

(in reply to basiasubrosa)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: To be Called Master or Mistress - 8/10/2004 5:34:15 AM   
LadyAngelika


Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Sundew02

I forgot about that. When ever I go to get my car fix they start by calling me little missy. Laughing, that quickly changes to a strained "Ma'am" when I let them know I will not sit meekly by while they ream my butt. Like the old joke, "yeah, little missy we have to replace your muffler bearings, their fifty dollars a piece, plus labor of course" Laughing. Sundew


Interesting names you have in the US. When I visit, I get called doll or darlin a lot but that is by the hairnetted waitresses in the diners or delis. (I have a fascination with American diners and delis.. so kitch!)

Here, I usually get called Mademoiselle. Which is appropriate as it's Miss. We don’t have the French equivalent of Ms. So it’s either Miss (Mademoiselle) or Ma’am (Madame). And since I often get aged at 27 (though I’m 32) I get the Mademoiselle.

The only little cutsey name I might get would be ma belle which is usually from a flirty salesman, too whom I just smile and say Mademoiselle s'il vous plaît, but that is very uncommon. Québec society is quite polite that way I find… I guess it comes from the French culture.

You see, if you don’t know someone in the French culture, you would never address them in the second person singular – tu – but rather in the second person plural – vous. It is not so stringent here in Québec as it is France but I’d say in business and official matters, it’s very important to respect if you don’t want to pass as a hick.

Also, a lot of English is spoken here but because the French culture sets the tone, it follows.

- LA

_____________________________

Une main de fer dans un gant de velours ~ An iron hand in a velvet glove

(in reply to Sundew02)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: To be Called Master or Mistress - 8/11/2004 7:16:05 AM   
GreyDragon1952


Posts: 40
Joined: 1/18/2004
Status: offline 		Not knowing the BDSM culture as well as the Gorean one I have put my energy into, and thought, I have to say by custom I prefer slaves to call me Master, and not by my given name or even by my nick name. This done simply to reinforce the Master slave relationship, to let a slave use you name is to place them on the same level as yourself as an equal, this defeats the whole purpose of training a slave to your service. I can say that as a working stiff I had a hard time with it at first. Much as I do with people calling me Sir. When starting I didn’t think I had rated the title Master and as I feel I’m still learning I still will not make it a part of my Name. To have a submissive call me master is as much for them as it is for me. They need to keep reminding themselves of their place and their duty, The Gorean way is to always remind females of their place as submissive to the dominance of males

JMO
Grey Dragon

(in reply to EvilSoul)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: To be Called Master or Mistress - 8/11/2004 2:12:05 PM   
MistressDREAD


Posts: 2943
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

yes basiasubrosa
it is sweet and it
does bring up good
memories for Me
as well Ill not
go into. Hey which
reminds Me I really
do enjoy counting
Mens hairs on thier
legs with tweezers,
~wicked smile~ just
how does one go about
counting hairs on fleas
legs and why?? Inquiring
Minds really want to know!

(in reply to GreyDragon1952)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: To be Called Master or Mistress - 8/11/2004 11:28:04 PM   
basiasubrosa


Posts: 130
Joined: 6/23/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: topcat

Midear Basia-

"remeber, you, though it be not written down, I am an ass..."

I think it was Keatons best role to date<g>.

Stay warm,
Lawrence


M. Lawrence,
<raspy whisper> "I humbly give you leave to depart; and if a merry meeting may be wished, God prohibit it! Come, neighbour." <gallups off on a dusty road.....>


He was brilliant! <violent chuckles>

< Message edited by basiasubrosa -- 8/11/2004 11:49:43 PM >

(in reply to topcat)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: To be Called Master or Mistress - 8/11/2004 11:32:03 PM   
basiasubrosa


Posts: 130
Joined: 6/23/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressDREAD


Hey which
reminds Me I really
do enjoy counting
Mens hairs on thier
legs with tweezers,
~wicked smile~ just
how does one go about
counting hairs on fleas
legs and why?? Inquiring
Minds really want to know!


Well, Mistress Dread, maybe i will tell you after you send me one of your Latin erotic/lifestyle stories...... Amabo te? Even Catullus gets a little dull the Nth time through.

basia (osculumque)

(in reply to MistressDREAD)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: To be Called Master or Mistress - 8/12/2004 8:58:15 AM   
kiki blue


Posts: 315
Joined: 1/16/2004
From: Brisbane, Australia
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressDREAD
Hey which
reminds Me I really
do enjoy counting
Mens hairs on thier
legs with tweezers,


I like playing odds and evens.

You pinch out some leg hair and make them guess whether you've got an odd amount or even amount.

If they get it wrong, you keep going. If you get it right, you keep going.

Win, win!

_____________________________

Growing old is mandatory, growing up is optional.

(in reply to MistressDREAD)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: To be Called Master or Mistress - 8/13/2004 12:01:31 PM   
Thanatosian


Posts: 765
Joined: 5/10/2004
From: New Castle, PA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: kiki blue

quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressDREAD
Hey which
reminds Me I really
do enjoy counting
Mens hairs on thier
legs with tweezers,


I like playing odds and evens.

You pinch out some leg hair and make them guess whether you've got an odd amount or even amount.

If they get it wrong, you keep going. If you get it right, you keep going.

Win, win!


gonna have to remember this to play it with the next non shaved bare sub I play with - changing from leg to pussy of course - thanks for the idea

_____________________________

Apply Usual Caveats Here

An expert is somone who has made all the mistakes there are to be made

(in reply to kiki blue)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: To be Called Master or Mistress - 8/13/2004 12:14:35 PM   
LadyShoshin


Posts: 492
Joined: 7/19/2004
From: Burlington, Ontario
Status: offline 		My boy is 10 minutes late so far.

I don't allow anyone to call me Mistress until the collar goes on & then only if it comes unbidden from the heart. I am Ma'am, m'Lady or Lady Shoshin. One of my ex subs gave me a bumpersticker for my car "Goddess", I don't get called Goddess, but the car gets called the "Goddess-mobile" by my friends. So I guess that means my car is more Domly than I am *lol*.

_____________________________

PHLOX: “It’s unethical for a doctor to cause harm...I can inflict as much pain as I like.”

(in reply to LadyAngelika)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: To be Called Master or Mistress - 8/13/2004 12:16:54 PM   
perverseangelic


Posts: 2625
Joined: 2/2/2004
From: Davis, Ca
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: kiki blue

I like playing odds and evens.

You pinch out some leg hair and make them guess whether you've got an odd amount or even amount.

If they get it wrong, you keep going. If you get it right, you keep going.

Win, win!


I love this, but I put it this way-- if they guess right, you win and get to pull more. If they guess wrong, they lose and you get to pull more. *grin*

_____________________________

~in the begining it is always dark~

(in reply to kiki blue)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: To be Called Master or Mistress - 8/13/2004 5:54:05 PM   
QnofH3arts


Posts: 35
Joined: 6/19/2004
Status: offline 		I live in an area of the south where "Ms" and "Ma'am" are commonly used, so everywhere I go, I am Ms. Laura or Ma'am". I have never required that a submissive or slave call me those or any other titles, but none have ever called me by my given name, either. Usually, they ask for permission to call me Ms. Laura or Mistress and they always use Ma'am.

I would rather inspire a respectful title than command one. I said something similar in another thread. I think my favorite given title so far has been "ohgodohgodohgod".

(in reply to EvilSoul)
Profile   Post #: 40
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