Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

Testing, testing, 1 2 3


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Mistress >> Testing, testing, 1 2 3 Page: [1] 2 3   next >   >>
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
Testing, testing, 1 2 3 - 10/18/2008 8:52:19 AM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		I must be off on this one.  I was asked recently if I was "testing" someone.  This concept that I had set up this elaborate ploy to see how someone would react.  Sorry, but that sounds too much like work for Me.  I'm more of the mind that things unfold in every day life.  I don't have to set up situations to see how people will react.  There are plenty of opportunities right in front of Me that I don't have to construct or design.  Call Me lazy, perhaps, but I would rather see how someone handles what comes in front of them. 

Don't get Me wrong.  I'll absolutely take advantage of those opportunities, even if I have nothing to do with them.  How will someone respond?  What will they do if a situation arises?  Is their submission really as important as they would like to portray?  Am I really as important as they would like Me to think?

Already in My head, I can hear the naysayers.  "Oh, that's so much like game playing."  I can promise you that it's not.  It's more about assessment.  About how a person is a good fit for Me.  I happen to think words are little when compared to deeds.  Actions always speak louder.

So, I'm curious.  Maybe this is an area where folks think I should get My Domme card taken away because I don't set people up to test them.  Rather, I would prefer to sit back, watch, and see what happens.

The questions are, do you specifically set out to test?  Do you ever construct things that might seem like testing?  Can you assess a potential without doing so?


_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Testing, testing, 1 2 3 - 10/18/2008 9:21:51 AM   
hopelesslyInvo


Posts: 522
Joined: 2/10/2008
From: the future
Status: offline 		you mean like... plotting some science test in attempt to uncover some hidden truth, as compared to just wondering 'hmmm, they did ___ when i did ____, what will they do then if they see me do ______, lets find out'?

or do you mean having the pretense notion of concern to any form of curiosity in how they'll react given a situation, and that being the only reason you put someone through some situation, rather than just taking notice and interest of how people react to what you're going to do anyway or do on impulse?


_____________________________

great minds discuss ideas; average minds discuss events; small minds discuss people.

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Testing, testing, 1 2 3 - 10/18/2008 9:33:42 AM   
PanthersMom


Posts: 2215
Joined: 11/26/2007
From: Cleveland Ohio
Status: offline 		testing someone?  hell life itself tests people enough every day, why bother making up stupid things?  just get to know that other person and see how they roll with the punches everyday life hands them.  that should be enough to decide if you really want to be closer to this person or not.
PM

_____________________________

That which does not kill me, better run pretty damn fast

I miss my ex, but my aim is improving!




(in reply to hopelesslyInvo)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Testing, testing, 1 2 3 - 10/18/2008 10:13:50 AM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		I do really minor stuff early on, to see what the response is, how they follow directions, that kind of thing.  Otherwise, real life is enough of a test. 

_____________________________

[page 23 girl]



(in reply to PanthersMom)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Testing, testing, 1 2 3 - 10/18/2008 10:35:52 AM   
HotMistress22


Posts: 58
Joined: 3/23/2008
Status: offline 		I agree with you LadyPact.  Actions speak louder than words.  Time usually tells a lot of a person.  I'm with you, sit back, relax and see what happens.  I'm too busy for games and tests.  Have fun!

HM

_____________________________

Come see Me at:
http://www.MistressPlanet.com
Where Dreams Come True.

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Testing, testing, 1 2 3 - 10/18/2008 10:49:10 AM   
MzMia


Posts: 5333
Joined: 7/30/2004
Status: offline 		Great topic LadyP.
 
I don't actually "test" per say.
I have 2 different levels of questions that I ask, and a few hoops that
a potential has to jump through before I give them much consideration.
 
Again, I don't consider them "tests", it;s just a way to help me filter out
those that approach me, that can not give or offer me what I need, those who are just
straight out relationship incompatible, and also those that are into "activities" that are HARD LIMITS
for me, etc. 
This method, actually saves us both a lot of time and energy.
Probably 85% of the "submissives" that approach me, never get to my Level 2
questions and are asked to write a letter of introduction to include my pre-written
questions.
 
Beyond that maybe 2% get my webpage that I created 4 years ago, that spells out what I want and need.

They manage to screen themselves out, and I love it.
That is not to say, I am not open to "friends" or acquaintances.
But my life and time is valuable to me, and I don't need a submissive that can't cut the mustard.
Again, this is what I do and how I roll.
Great thread.

< Message edited by MzMia -- 10/18/2008 11:02:12 AM >

_____________________________

Namaste'
To Each His/Her Own
"DENIAL ain't just a river in Egypt." Mark Twain


What's your favorite fetish?
"My partner's whisper"--bloomswell

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Testing, testing, 1 2 3 - 10/18/2008 4:38:00 PM   
stella41b


Posts: 4258
Joined: 10/16/2007
From: SW London (UK)
Status: offline 		I hear ya on that one Lady Pact.

I mean let's face it, isn't getting someone to read your profile a big enough test in itself when it comes to this site?

_____________________________

CM's Resident Lyricist
also Facebook
http://stella.baker.tripod.com/
50NZpoints
Q2
Simply Q

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Testing, testing, 1 2 3 - 10/18/2008 5:14:15 PM   
ShiftedJewel


Posts: 2492
Joined: 12/2/2004
Status: offline 		I don't really "test". But I do pay attention.
 
Jewel

_____________________________

Don't ask, trust me, you won't like the answer... no one ever does.

(in reply to stella41b)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Testing, testing, 1 2 3 - 10/18/2008 5:32:21 PM   
PeonForHer


Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
Status: offline 		But what about yourself, Lady P?  Do subs test you as well - to see if you're really in as much control as you seem?  Or maybe that question's pushing the thread off track . . .

_____________________________

http://www.domme-chronicles.com


(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Testing, testing, 1 2 3 - 10/18/2008 7:26:28 PM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		I think that we get tested all the time, especially in the early stages of consideration.  I know that I have "missed out" on some men because I failed to meet the fantasy standard.  :)  It's all good, though, if they don't like me on the first date, they won't like me any better later on.

_____________________________

[page 23 girl]



(in reply to PeonForHer)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Testing, testing, 1 2 3 - 10/18/2008 7:31:50 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		I don't think questions take a thread off track.  Around here, a thread goes wherever those who participate want to take it.

To answer the question, yes.  Though it may not be something that is done intentionally, I'd think it makes sense to observe how people react.  The intentional type tend to piss Me off.


_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Testing, testing, 1 2 3 - 10/18/2008 8:13:08 PM   
PsyVamp


Posts: 1026
Joined: 10/30/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

I don't think questions take a thread off track.  Around here, a thread goes wherever those who participate want to take it.

To answer the question, yes.  Though it may not be something that is done intentionally, I'd think it makes sense to observe how people react.  The intentional type tend to piss Me off.



Oh heck, My pet has enough times said "I was testing you to see how you'd react"...usually when I called him out on something.
I'll tell you, having him has made Me a much more patient person.

I do not do any elaborate testing, but like others have said, I observe and note reactions to different situations.  I am usually more forward, I straight out ask people what they do and how they react.  Then I sit back and read what they write or watch how they act and see if they are really how they present themselves.

Lady Jag

_____________________________

Don't take life too seriously; No one gets out alive. .
Could a blue screen of death constitute being defenestrated?
~Owner of wolf~ (one of them, anyway)

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Testing, testing, 1 2 3 - 10/18/2008 9:47:28 PM   
ShaktiSama


Posts: 1674
Joined: 8/13/2007
Status: offline 		I wouldn't "test" people in some arbitrary way, but inevitably people are tested whether you "set up" the test or not.  Life throws us many curve balls.  Any serious disagreement or misunderstanding I have with a man is a test of sorts, and one we can both potentially fail.  So is any serious crisis we have to weather together...

My own boykin has passed many tests, none of which I particularly intended to put him through.  He has impressed me many times with the ability to remain loving, patient and gentle, even when he has received a serious blow.  I believe the phrase "tried and true" really does have some value, where friends, family and lovers are concerned.


_____________________________

"Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea."
-- Robert A. Heinlein

(in reply to PsyVamp)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Testing, testing, 1 2 3 - 10/18/2008 10:54:10 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		Shatki, I absolutely agree with you.  Seeing how someone responds to those things that do come up has a lot of value to Me.  The "tried and true" expression definitely fits.  I think that goes for both sides of the kneel.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to ShaktiSama)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Testing, testing, 1 2 3 - 10/19/2008 12:00:30 AM   
lobodomslavery


Posts: 2477
Joined: 1/17/2008
Status: offline 		So if  a submissive , any submisssive comes along to you they are considered , warts and all, that you wait for submissives to come to you, You dont pursue, play the waiting game
kevin

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Testing, testing, 1 2 3 - 10/19/2008 5:11:21 AM   
PeonForHer


Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
Status: offline 		I think that we get tested all the time, especially in the early stages of consideration.  I know that I have "missed out" on some men because I failed to meet the fantasy standard.  :)  It's all good, though, if they don't like me on the first date, they won't like me any better later on.

Yes, there's the 'fantasy standard'  - I guess a sub would work that out very early on.  I guess, to me, the question in my head are more ones of "Does she really feel in control?  Is she actually comfortable in that way?"   


_____________________________

http://www.domme-chronicles.com


(in reply to LadyHibiscus)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Testing, testing, 1 2 3 - 10/19/2008 5:56:05 AM   
Chi


Posts: 68
Joined: 1/31/2005
Status: offline 		I do not know about tests but I do know there are qualifiers that from the onset are imposed as part of my evaluations. I suppose some of them could be viewed as a test but it would take a very suspicious narrow mind to do so. However, like a qualifier, they are also an eliminators and contrary to the belief of many most males are driven by codes of honor and not at all interested boring unhappy housewives with whips.

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Testing, testing, 1 2 3 - 10/19/2008 6:52:05 AM   
MsStarlett


Posts: 1879
Joined: 12/23/2007
Status: offline 		I have a very simple 'test' for those that I consider.  If they fail that first, easy assignment, then I don't bother with wasting my time on them.  I figure, if you're to lazy do something easy, then you don't really want to submit.

I detest men who want to 'test' me.  Of course, a sub's 'test' is normally "Let's talk on the phone or get on Cam so I can verify that you're a woman."  Piss off.  I post on the boards A LOT.  If you want to verify that I'm female, read what I write.  One can tell.  I'll even give you a list of CM members who know me in R/L.  Send me a gift and I'll send you a photo of me wearing / using it.  (But not THIS time of year!  I'm already woefully behind in doing photos!)  There are lots of ways to verify my gender without demanding 'one on one' time for your wanking pleasure.


_____________________________

It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion.
It is by the beans of Java that thoughts acquire speed,
the hands acquire shakes, the shakes become a warning,
It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion.

(in reply to Chi)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Testing, testing, 1 2 3 - 10/19/2008 7:15:15 AM   
PeonForHer


Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
Status: offline 		Well . . . . what's your test, then?  Go on, you can tell us . . .

_____________________________

http://www.domme-chronicles.com


(in reply to MsStarlett)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Testing, testing, 1 2 3 - 10/19/2008 7:18:02 AM   
MsStarlett


Posts: 1879
Joined: 12/23/2007
Status: offline 		It's SO easy!  All I ask is that a guy go get himself a choke chain and send me a pick of him wearing it.

Duh!

I actually had one who said he couldn't FIND a choke chain in NYC in a week's time.


_____________________________

It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion.
It is by the beans of Java that thoughts acquire speed,
the hands acquire shakes, the shakes become a warning,
It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion.

(in reply to PeonForHer)
Profile   Post #: 20
Page:   [1] 2 3   next >   >>
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Mistress >> Testing, testing, 1 2 3 Page: [1] 2 3   next >   >>
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.098