Testing, testing, 1 2 3

Testing, testing, 1 2 3 (Full Version)

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LadyPact -> Testing, testing, 1 2 3 (10/18/2008 8:52:19 AM)
I must be off on this one. I was asked recently if I was "testing" someone. This concept that I had set up this elaborate ploy to see how someone would react. Sorry, but that sounds too much like work for Me. I'm more of the mind that things unfold in every day life. I don't have to set up situations to see how people will react. There are plenty of opportunities right in front of Me that I don't have to construct or design. Call Me lazy, perhaps, but I would rather see how someone handles what comes in front of them. Don't get Me wrong. I'll absolutely take advantage of those opportunities, even if I have nothing to do with them. How will someone respond? What will they do if a situation arises? Is their submission really as important as they would like to portray? Am I really as important as they would like Me to think? Already in My head, I can hear the naysayers. "Oh, that's so much like game playing." I can promise you that it's not. It's more about assessment. About how a person is a good fit for Me. I happen to think words are little when compared to deeds. Actions always speak louder. So, I'm curious. Maybe this is an area where folks think I should get My Domme card taken away because I don't set people up to test them. Rather, I would prefer to sit back, watch, and see what happens. The questions are, do you specifically set out to test? Do you ever construct things that might seem like testing? Can you assess a potential without doing so?

hopelesslyInvo -> RE: Testing, testing, 1 2 3 (10/18/2008 9:21:51 AM)
you mean like... plotting some science test in attempt to uncover some hidden truth, as compared to just wondering 'hmmm, they did ___ when i did ____, what will they do then if they see me do ______, lets find out'? or do you mean having the pretense notion of concern to any form of curiosity in how they'll react given a situation, and that being the only reason you put someone through some situation, rather than just taking notice and interest of how people react to what you're going to do anyway or do on impulse?

PanthersMom -> RE: Testing, testing, 1 2 3 (10/18/2008 9:33:42 AM)
testing someone? hell life itself tests people enough every day, why bother making up stupid things? just get to know that other person and see how they roll with the punches everyday life hands them. that should be enough to decide if you really want to be closer to this person or not. PM

LadyHibiscus -> RE: Testing, testing, 1 2 3 (10/18/2008 10:13:50 AM)
I do really minor stuff early on, to see what the response is, how they follow directions, that kind of thing. Otherwise, real life is enough of a test.

HotMistress22 -> RE: Testing, testing, 1 2 3 (10/18/2008 10:35:52 AM)
I agree with you LadyPact. Actions speak louder than words. Time usually tells a lot of a person. I'm with you, sit back, relax and see what happens. I'm too busy for games and tests. Have fun! HM

MzMia -> RE: Testing, testing, 1 2 3 (10/18/2008 10:49:10 AM)
Great topic LadyP. I don't actually "test" per say. I have 2 different levels of questions that I ask, and a few hoops that a potential has to jump through before I give them much consideration. Again, I don't consider them "tests", it;s just a way to help me filter out those that approach me, that can not give or offer me what I need, those who are just straight out relationship incompatible, and also those that are into "activities" that are HARD LIMITS for me, etc. This method, actually saves us both a lot of time and energy. Probably 85% of the "submissives" that approach me, never get to my Level 2 questions and are asked to write a letter of introduction to include my pre-written questions. Beyond that maybe 2% get my webpage that I created 4 years ago, that spells out what I want and need. [:D] They manage to screen themselves out, and I love it. That is not to say, I am not open to "friends" or acquaintances. But my life and time is valuable to me, and I don't need a submissive that can't cut the mustard. Again, this is what I do and how I roll. Great thread.

stella41b -> RE: Testing, testing, 1 2 3 (10/18/2008 4:38:00 PM)
I hear ya on that one Lady Pact. I mean let's face it, isn't getting someone to read your profile a big enough test in itself when it comes to this site?

ShiftedJewel -> RE: Testing, testing, 1 2 3 (10/18/2008 5:14:15 PM)
*I don't really "test". But I do pay attention.* *Jewel*

PeonForHer -> RE: Testing, testing, 1 2 3 (10/18/2008 5:32:21 PM)
But what about yourself, Lady P? Do subs test you as well - to see if you're really in as much control as you seem? Or maybe that question's pushing the thread off track . . .

LadyHibiscus -> RE: Testing, testing, 1 2 3 (10/18/2008 7:26:28 PM)
I think that we get tested all the time, especially in the early stages of consideration. I know that I have "missed out" on some men because I failed to meet the fantasy standard. :) It's all good, though, if they don't like me on the first date, they won't like me any better later on.

LadyPact -> RE: Testing, testing, 1 2 3 (10/18/2008 7:31:50 PM)
I don't think questions take a thread off track. Around here, a thread goes wherever those who participate want to take it. To answer the question, yes. Though it may not be something that is done intentionally, I'd think it makes sense to observe how people react. The intentional type tend to piss Me off.

PsyVamp -> RE: Testing, testing, 1 2 3 (10/18/2008 8:13:08 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyPact I don't think questions take a thread off track. Around here, a thread goes wherever those who participate want to take it. To answer the question, yes. Though it may not be something that is done intentionally, I'd think it makes sense to observe how people react. The intentional type tend to piss Me off. Oh heck, My pet has enough times said "I was testing you to see how you'd react"...usually when I called him out on something. I'll tell you, having him has made Me a much more patient person. I do not do any elaborate testing, but like others have said, I observe and note reactions to different situations. I am usually more forward, I straight out ask people what they do and how they react. Then I sit back and read what they write or watch how they act and see if they are really how they present themselves. Lady Jag

ShaktiSama -> RE: Testing, testing, 1 2 3 (10/18/2008 9:47:28 PM)
I wouldn't "test" people in some arbitrary way, but inevitably people are tested whether you "set up" the test or not. Life throws us many curve balls. Any serious disagreement or misunderstanding I have with a man is a test of sorts, and one we can both potentially fail. So is any serious crisis we have to weather together... My own boykin has passed many tests, none of which I particularly intended to put him through. He has impressed me many times with the ability to remain loving, patient and gentle, even when he has received a serious blow. I believe the phrase "tried and true" really does have some value, where friends, family and lovers are concerned.

LadyPact -> RE: Testing, testing, 1 2 3 (10/18/2008 10:54:10 PM)
Shatki, I absolutely agree with you. Seeing how someone responds to those things that do come up has a lot of value to Me. The "tried and true" expression definitely fits. I think that goes for both sides of the kneel.

lobodomslavery -> RE: Testing, testing, 1 2 3 (10/19/2008 12:00:30 AM)
So if a submissive , any submisssive comes along to you they are considered , warts and all, that you wait for submissives to come to you, You dont pursue, play the waiting game kevin

PeonForHer -> RE: Testing, testing, 1 2 3 (10/19/2008 5:11:21 AM)
I think that we get tested all the time, especially in the early stages of consideration. I know that I have "missed out" on some men because I failed to meet the fantasy standard. :) It's all good, though, if they don't like me on the first date, they won't like me any better later on. Yes, there's the 'fantasy standard' - I guess a sub would work that out very early on. I guess, to me, the question in my head are more ones of "Does she really feel in control? Is she actually comfortable in that way?"

Chi -> RE: Testing, testing, 1 2 3 (10/19/2008 5:56:05 AM)
I do not know about tests but I do know there are qualifiers that from the onset are imposed as part of my evaluations. I suppose some of them could be viewed as a test but it would take a very suspicious narrow mind to do so. However, like a qualifier, they are also an eliminators and contrary to the belief of many most males are driven by codes of honor and not at all interested boring unhappy housewives with whips.

MsStarlett -> RE: Testing, testing, 1 2 3 (10/19/2008 6:52:05 AM)
I have a very simple 'test' for those that I consider. If they fail that first, easy assignment, then I don't bother with wasting my time on them. I figure, if you're to lazy do something easy, then you don't really want to submit. I detest men who want to 'test' me. Of course, a sub's 'test' is normally "Let's talk on the phone or get on Cam so I can verify that you're a woman." Piss off. I post on the boards A LOT. If you want to verify that I'm female, read what I write. One can tell. I'll even give you a list of CM members who know me in R/L. Send me a gift and I'll send you a photo of me wearing / using it. (But not THIS time of year! I'm already woefully behind in doing photos!) There are lots of ways to verify my gender without demanding 'one on one' time for your wanking pleasure.

PeonForHer -> RE: Testing, testing, 1 2 3 (10/19/2008 7:15:15 AM)
Well . . . . what's your test, then? Go on, you can tell us . . .

MsStarlett -> RE: Testing, testing, 1 2 3 (10/19/2008 7:18:02 AM)
It's SO easy! All I ask is that a guy go get himself a choke chain and send me a pick of him wearing it. Duh! I actually had one who said he couldn't FIND a choke chain in NYC in a week's time.

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