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Sick, twisted sense of humor - 10/19/2008 9:14:41 AM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		I'm the first person to admit that I'm not wrapped too tight when it comes to those things that I find funny in relation to BDSM.  I can be in the middle of a very intense scene and start laughing out of the blue.  During a serious conversation with a sub, a smart assed remark that would be the first thing to hit My head as a reply can go skipping through My head, and while I know it's inappropriate as all hell, I'll also think it very funny.  Speaking of inappropriate, I have this great affinity for strap on jokes that My husband doesn't especially care for if the running strap on gag lasts for too long.  Oh, there's a funny concept.  A strap on gag!

Ok, so lighten My mood a bit.  Tell Me something you relate to your own personal brand of sick, twisted humor.


ETA, I was almost ready to add that some of the things that I would say in response to some of the comments on the cock sucking thread would fit this category for Me.  Literally posting replies to the tune of, "Well, yes I would enjoy that very much and what time should I expect you and the cock of your choice that you'll be sucking arrive?".  Things like that I do find funny.

I was going to skip the part I just added, but I'd already hit the edit button.


< Message edited by LadyPact -- 10/19/2008 9:25:58 AM >

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Sick, twisted sense of humor - 10/19/2008 9:28:47 AM   
MsStarlett


Posts: 1879
Joined: 12/23/2007
Status: offline 		Not BDSM related, but seasonal....  My hubby loves Halloween more than anything else in the whole world.  He loves scaring people, loves to hear them scream, gasp and laugh.  So, he built a 'haunted house' in our front yard.  It's quite elaborate.  We have three enclosed 'rooms' and several exterior sets.  It's all free!  Anyone is welcome to show up on a Friday or Saturday night in October and go through. 

Last night, after I had gone to bed and our teen son had retired to his video games, we heard this huge commotion outside.  I thought it was a bus load of cheerleaders going through.  My son had to grab his jacket and go out to see the 'screamers'. 

Turns out it was five young men in their 20's.  They showed up with their totally 'gangsta hoody' attitudes.  Hubby spoke to them and gave them the 'Don't break my stuff' lecture.  They seemed to be cool.  They sauntered through the first part of the sets which can be seen from the road.  Cool.  They got into the first enclosed "Exorcist" room where a life sized animated Ragean spit water on them and they started screaming like it was battery acid!  From that point, it was ON!  These five tough guys started screaming like 12 year old girls!  All the workers were about to pee themselves they were having so much fun.  Wish I could have seen them....  But I was happily tucked into my bed all snug and warm and just listened to the screams.

< Message edited by MsStarlett -- 10/19/2008 9:30:04 AM >

_____________________________

It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion.
It is by the beans of Java that thoughts acquire speed,
the hands acquire shakes, the shakes become a warning,
It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion.

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Sick, twisted sense of humor - 10/19/2008 9:31:16 AM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		You do realize that, since you have a great set up for screams to be acceptable from the neighbors, you have a perfect opportunity to beat someone in your house, let the bottom scream his head off, and nobody would think a thing of it?

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to MsStarlett)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Sick, twisted sense of humor - 10/19/2008 9:32:14 AM   
MsStarlett


Posts: 1879
Joined: 12/23/2007
Status: offline 		  Yes, that thought has crossed my mind.  But none have been brave enough to accept my invitation.  Westie is coming for Halloween night.

Actually, I had talked about getting one of those 'stay off the furniture' shock pads and putting it in the bottom of my big ugly cage.  Then, shove a willing sub into it wearing nothing but shorts and a shredded shirt.  Connect the shock pad to a button labeled "Watch the Dog Boy jump and howl" to see how many of my 'vanilla' neighbors would shock him.


< Message edited by MsStarlett -- 10/19/2008 9:33:56 AM >

_____________________________

It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion.
It is by the beans of Java that thoughts acquire speed,
the hands acquire shakes, the shakes become a warning,
It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion.

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Sick, twisted sense of humor - 10/19/2008 10:01:00 AM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		See, I'd find that funny as hell.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to MsStarlett)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Sick, twisted sense of humor - 10/19/2008 10:08:43 AM   
khem


Posts: 300
Joined: 8/8/2005
Status: offline 		You just never know about neighbors though.  If I lived near you and that were set up, you'd be like "ummm excuse me miss, it's been 3 hours, could you please stop coming back to shock the dog?"



(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Sick, twisted sense of humor - 10/19/2008 10:32:52 AM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		Me?  Probably not.  I'm more the type who'd want to play with the zapping in some way.  

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to khem)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Sick, twisted sense of humor - 10/19/2008 10:54:10 AM   
MsStarlett


Posts: 1879
Joined: 12/23/2007
Status: offline 		Ok.... for the Twue Dommes... I'll invest in a violet wand or provide a broom handle so you can jab him through the gate.

_____________________________

It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion.
It is by the beans of Java that thoughts acquire speed,
the hands acquire shakes, the shakes become a warning,
It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion.

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Sick, twisted sense of humor - 10/19/2008 10:55:16 AM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		No need to invest, MsS.  I'd be happy to bring Mine.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to MsStarlett)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Sick, twisted sense of humor - 10/19/2008 3:22:37 PM   
PanthersMom


Posts: 2215
Joined: 11/26/2007
From: Cleveland Ohio
Status: offline 		sick, twisted sense of humor is definitely in my personality workup.  my dad was a cop for 32 years and he and his buddies used to bring home some of the most gross and disgusting tales known to humanity and i'd be rolling on the floor listening to them.  definitely one to find the humor in damn near any situation.  guess i come by it genetically, my mom's father was like that too.
PM

_____________________________

That which does not kill me, better run pretty damn fast

I miss my ex, but my aim is improving!




(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Sick, twisted sense of humor - 10/19/2008 4:56:35 PM   
ShiftedJewel


Posts: 2492
Joined: 12/2/2004
Status: offline 		Earlier today we were busy hanging drywall in the garage and we took a break. Sitting at the kitchen table we were patting ourselves on the back for having bought that drywall lift. Well, it works great to heights of 8 feet or so, but after that it starts to get hung up a little and really has to be manipulated just so. Well, hubby said something about my son and his friend using it when they put the drywall up on the entryway ceiling (10 foot ceilings, really big room)... They didn't use the lift. Looking back I suppose they could have, I didn't think about telling them we had one. He said I really was sadistic. I just smiled.
 
Jewel

_____________________________

Don't ask, trust me, you won't like the answer... no one ever does.

(in reply to PanthersMom)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Sick, twisted sense of humor - 10/19/2008 8:15:16 PM   
ericpup


Posts: 72
Joined: 1/2/2004
Status: offline 		Okay, my mood lightening story: 

I responded to an automobile accident, vehicle had flipped over and was back on it's wheels when I got there. The vehicle was on a small embankment against a guide wire/rail.  I went to the driver's side window, and when I saw that he was okay, just drunk as hell, I said to him, "Excuse me, sir, but you can't park here."  The firefighters that were there laughed their asses off.

(in reply to ShiftedJewel)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Sick, twisted sense of humor - 10/19/2008 8:43:36 PM   
PanthersMom


Posts: 2215
Joined: 11/26/2007
From: Cleveland Ohio
Status: offline 		that's cute!
PM

_____________________________

That which does not kill me, better run pretty damn fast

I miss my ex, but my aim is improving!




(in reply to ericpup)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Sick, twisted sense of humor - 10/19/2008 11:51:55 PM   
aidan


Posts: 904
Joined: 5/28/2005
Status: offline 		The problem is that I don't think my sense of humor is twisted or sick or perverse in anyway. I just have no sense of what's inappropriate. It's all quite acceptable and normal to me. Which is what leads to problems. ;-p

To wit: Mistress and I were sitting in a surgery briefing room at the local hospital waiting to hear back from the surgeon, and I was rifling through my new D&D manual happily. I pointed to a picture and said, in what I thought was a reasonable volume voice, "Oooh, look, Warlocks sucking out people's souls!"

This was apparently highly inappropriate to say in a Catholic hospital, with a man within earshot (or so I was told, I'm still not sure on that count)

Triple points because there was a crucifix in the room.


_____________________________

Do what now?

"I aim to misbehave."
-Mal Reynolds

(in reply to PanthersMom)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Sick, twisted sense of humor - 10/20/2008 3:59:43 AM   
MsStarlett


Posts: 1879
Joined: 12/23/2007
Status: offline 		D&D Manual?  Hmmmmm..... Sexy geek! 

Hubby and I were hiking through the woods near our home and found a HUGE flat rock that was just about hip high.  Hubby said, "You know, there's more than one way to sacrifice a virgin."  I laughed "Cool!  Know any?"


_____________________________

It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion.
It is by the beans of Java that thoughts acquire speed,
the hands acquire shakes, the shakes become a warning,
It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion.

(in reply to aidan)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Sick, twisted sense of humor - 10/20/2008 9:26:03 AM   
CallaFirestormBW


Posts: 3651
Joined: 6/29/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

See, I'd find that funny as hell.


Me too! *LOL*

Not to take off on a tangent, but my daughter's fiance turned 21 yesterday, and they're both heavily into the Goth culture -- so my daughter (who now has hair dyed scarlet on one side and jet on the other, with bangs that are scarlet on the side with the jet hair and jet on the side with the scarlet hair) dressed up in her Kitsune gear and her boyfriend got dressed up in his black hoodie (he looks like the Mask of Death peering out from the depths of that hood *LOL*) and we went to the 'best' haunted house in the area... $25 a person to go through this 'super haunted' house. Anyway, we get inside, and there's this one exhibit with a mock lunatic asylum, with this one scene with a woman webbed to the wall... as people go by, she throws herself against the webbing and screams. My daughter watched this a couple of times, and then turned around to her fiance and said "See, now -that- is cool."... the woman in the web looked at my daughter like she had six heads... at which point my daughter said "Well, it -is-!" and the woman in the web just starting rolling with laughter. I looked at all three of them, turned around, shook my head, and said "How many times do I have to tell you not to force the loonies out of character... I can't take you -anywhere-." and turned to walk out of the room, and the whole exhibit busted out laughing.

Yesterday we -also- met a new potential boy. He was a sweetie and a big help, but I think, perhaps, I was a little 'animated' for him... my Darling says she thinks I scared him.... what part of "intense" do they not understand? *evil grin*

_____________________________

***
Said to me recently: "Look, I know you're the "voice of reason"... but dammit, I LIKE being unreasonable!!!!"

"Your mind is more interested in the challenge of becoming than the challenge of doing." Jon Benson, Bodybuilder/Trainer

(in reply to LadyPact)
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RE: Sick, twisted sense of humor - 10/20/2008 9:33:48 AM   
CallaFirestormBW


Posts: 3651
Joined: 6/29/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: PanthersMom

sick, twisted sense of humor is definitely in my personality workup.  my dad was a cop for 32 years and he and his buddies used to bring home some of the most gross and disgusting tales known to humanity and i'd be rolling on the floor listening to them.  definitely one to find the humor in damn near any situation.  guess i come by it genetically, my mom's father was like that too.
PM


*NODNOD* -- you -never- want to have a meal with cops or paramedics. *Laughs* It is some of the most disgusting humor you've ever encountered. When I was working as a paramedic, we used to have this 'game' we used to play. We'd order wings from Sal's Birdland (Rochester-style), super-hot, and bottles of diet Pepsi (everyone up there drank Pepsi, not Coke). The goal was to eat your 50 wings, then down the bottle of Pepsi as fast as you could and jump up and down, to see who could let out the biggest belch. If you puked, you lost automatically. It was a blast (I won about half the time, and only lost twice in 3 years for puking!)... the only time it wasn't so great was when we tried to take The Game on the road, and tried to do it in a McDonalds with Big Macs and Coke, and the manager got a -teensy- bit uptight... we were invited to -never- come back... not even off-duty.

_____________________________

***
Said to me recently: "Look, I know you're the "voice of reason"... but dammit, I LIKE being unreasonable!!!!"

"Your mind is more interested in the challenge of becoming than the challenge of doing." Jon Benson, Bodybuilder/Trainer

(in reply to PanthersMom)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Sick, twisted sense of humor - 10/20/2008 12:34:09 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline
quote:

Original: CallafirestormBBW
as people go by, she throws herself against the webbing and screams. My daughter watched this a couple of times, and then turned around to her fiance and said "See, now -that- is cool."... the woman in the web looked at my daughter like she had six heads... at which point my daughter said "Well, it -is-!"


Do you mean there are people out there who think the screaming isn't cool?

(I'm half wondering if I should link some of the posts I've written here.)


_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to CallaFirestormBW)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Sick, twisted sense of humor - 10/20/2008 4:15:31 PM   
PsyVamp


Posts: 1026
Joined: 10/30/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CallaFirestormBW


quote:

ORIGINAL: PanthersMom

sick, twisted sense of humor is definitely in my personality workup.  my dad was a cop for 32 years and he and his buddies used to bring home some of the most gross and disgusting tales known to humanity and i'd be rolling on the floor listening to them.  definitely one to find the humor in damn near any situation.  guess i come by it genetically, my mom's father was like that too.
PM


*NODNOD* -- you -never- want to have a meal with cops or paramedics. *Laughs*


My brother and sister rode as volunteer paramedics and I tagged along on the training so I was privy to a lot of those kinds of jokes.  Add that to the fact that My mother worked in the Operating Room of a hospital for almost 30 years and it is no wonder My mind works like it does.

I remember when the president of the company was standing outside My office with the VP and the director of marketing.. they/we were bantering about on the virtues of duct tape, colors and uses until I said "It's really good for keeping the bodies from rolling around in the trunk"..
Well, I thought it was a humorous practical suggestion, *laughs* the president of the company didn't talk to Me for about a month.



Lady Jag

_____________________________

Don't take life too seriously; No one gets out alive. .
Could a blue screen of death constitute being defenestrated?
~Owner of wolf~ (one of them, anyway)

(in reply to CallaFirestormBW)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Sick, twisted sense of humor - 10/20/2008 4:37:11 PM   
ThatDaveGuy69


Posts: 978
Joined: 6/22/2007
Status: offline 		Anybody know The Vic theater here in Chicago?
I was waiting to get into the show (either Cheap Trick or The Pretenders - I can't remember) with some friends and several others when a bright yellow Camaro pulled up and the passenger asked if anyone wanted to buy a pair of tickets.  Without hesitation I yelled "Are they good seats?!"  The passenger studdied the tickets in his hand and then turned red and slunk down in his seat.  The car pulled out and wasn't seen again.  I was an instant crowd hero :)

~Dave

(The joke here is that The Vic is basically a large bar - no reserved seats)




_____________________________

He said I'd blown a seal. I said fix the damn thing and leave my private life out of this!
What happens in the event horizon STAYS in the Event Horizon!
I have zero tolerance for Zero Tolerance

(in reply to PsyVamp)
Profile   Post #: 20
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