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Where did the BDSM go? - 10/19/2008 9:49:37 AM   
missturbation


Posts: 8290
Joined: 2/12/2006
From: another planet
Status: offline 		More and more recently as i have perused this board and it's threads i have noticed one thing. It's distinct lack of BDSM threads! It appears to be becoming more and more 'nilla' or more and more frequented by people who think that because we are into BDSM, the answers to every day questions must be different.
I'm not saying it's a good or bad thing. I'm not saying it doesn't make peoples questions valid, but i am wondering where the BDSM went from a BDSM board?

< Message edited by missturbation -- 10/19/2008 9:50:51 AM >

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RE: Where did the BDSM go? - 10/19/2008 9:56:34 AM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline
quote:

It appears to be becoming more and more 'nilla' or more and more frequented by people who think that because we are into BDSM, the answers to every day questions must be different.


What i have noticed from a long hiatus is that there are not as many people posting and this forum is moving a lot slower than it used to. If I commented on the content being less compelling than it once was I believe that would be my perception instead of a reality. Most of the answers to our relationship questions are no different than anyone else's relationships when it comes to love, respect, and being happy. I think the more "'nilla" perspective is coming from those of us posting here awhile. Why reinvent the relationship wheel? If it works for nillas, it may work for us too... such as communication skills, showing appreciation, etc.

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RE: Where did the BDSM go? - 10/19/2008 9:58:12 AM   
GabrielleSlave


Posts: 616
Joined: 9/20/2007
From: in servitude
Status: offline 		Agreed lol!  But perhaps us Brits need to wait til the darn Election thingamydooodah is over across the Pond.....

Gabrielle x

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RE: Where did the BDSM go? - 10/19/2008 10:01:49 AM   
missturbation


Posts: 8290
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From: another planet
Status: offline
quote:

If I commented on the content being less compelling than it once was I believe that would be my perception instead of a reality.

Definately but it would be a perception i whole heartedly would agree with.
 
quote:

Agreed lol!  But perhaps us Brits need to wait til the darn Election thingamydooodah is over across the Pond.....

Lol, perhaps ........



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RE: Where did the BDSM go? - 10/19/2008 10:22:34 AM   
Quivver


Posts: 1953
Joined: 11/27/2004
Status: offline 		I remember those days myself where the talk was more directed for lack of a better word. 
I was pretty new here then and got the impression that BDSM had hard fast `rules` that were followed by all. 
Dont know if I am a slow learner or what, but eventually the light went off that BDSM only enhances what I seek in My life,
and that it may be totally different for the next person.  It's been a great tool of sorts, filled with self learning and I'm honestly happy I came here.  But what I'm getting at is to those new here the addition of all this Nilla is a reminder that no matter what it's life as we know it. 


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RE: Where did the BDSM go? - 10/19/2008 10:23:52 AM   
SimplyMichael


Posts: 7229
Joined: 1/7/2007
Status: offline 		Well, I bought a leather hood as well as a very hot latex dress at a party last night and used my beautiful porcelain toilet as well.

That enough BDSM for you?

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RE: Where did the BDSM go? - 10/19/2008 10:25:39 AM   
missturbation


Posts: 8290
Joined: 2/12/2006
From: another planet
Status: offline 		No
Unless it involves knives, whips, blood, screaming and one very 'wet' misst it aint bdsm

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RE: Where did the BDSM go? - 10/19/2008 10:27:38 AM   
NuevaVida


Posts: 6707
Joined: 8/5/2008
Status: offline 		Misst, I'm kind of confused by your OP. Are you commenting that we talk more about relationship dynamics and less about physical play? Do you think there are less threads centering around D/s relationships? Regarding what you said about people thinking BDSM relationships are different, do you think non D/s and D/s relationships have the same dynamics?

Or am I complicating things (wouldn't be the first time).

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RE: Where did the BDSM go? - 10/19/2008 10:34:37 AM   
SlyStone


Posts: 398
Joined: 12/23/2006
From: Chicago
Status: offline
quote:

More and more recently as i have perused this board and it's threads i have noticed one thing. It's distinct lack of BDSM threads!



Because missturbation, BDSM is like sex, better experienced than discussed, and after a while, talking about it becomes nothing more than an exercise in verbal masturbation.

And since BDSM isn't really a lifestyle in and of itself , people who come here have a natural inclination to want to broaden the topic to include all aspects of their lives.

Personally I think the most interesting aspect of BDSM from a discussion point of view is what motivates  people to try it and or to include it in their lives but I think most here find that to be a boring topic.


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RE: Where did the BDSM go? - 10/19/2008 10:38:46 AM   
GreedyTop


Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline 		I wonder if theres a reluctance by relatively new people to post BDSM related questions, for fear of being roasted over the "USE THE SEARCH FUNCTION" flames...

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RE: Where did the BDSM go? - 10/19/2008 10:41:15 AM   
NuevaVida


Posts: 6707
Joined: 8/5/2008
Status: offline 		Not just that but the "Jeez, we hear this question ALL THE TIME" posts, followed by sarcastic answers. (Those are more tiring to me than the repeated "newbie" type questions).

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RE: Where did the BDSM go? - 10/19/2008 10:44:16 AM   
missturbation


Posts: 8290
Joined: 2/12/2006
From: another planet
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: NuevaVida

Misst, I'm kind of confused by your OP. Are you commenting that we talk more about relationship dynamics and less about physical play? Do you think there are less threads centering around D/s relationships? Regarding what you said about people thinking BDSM relationships are different, do you think non D/s and D/s relationships have the same dynamics?

Or am I complicating things (wouldn't be the first time).


No i'm not talking about threads which concentrate more on dynamic than play. I'm mainly referring to threads which talk about things like the end of relationships, how to tell family/ friends you are into bdsm, like the answers should be different because we are into bdsm.
If you were lesbian, going to be nun, a prostitute or into bdsm the way to tell your folks / friends is going to be pretty much on a par. If a relationship ends the way you deal with it is going to be pretty much on a par whether you are bdsm or nilla.
I think whats biting me is the spate of people who post thinking that the answers will be specialised because this is the 'world of bdsm'.

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What you don't witness with your eyes, don't witness with your mouth. Proverb.

If it fit's in a toaster, i can cook it.

Buying 10 item's or less is not shopping !!

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RE: Where did the BDSM go? - 10/19/2008 10:45:37 AM   
missturbation


Posts: 8290
Joined: 2/12/2006
From: another planet
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: GreedyTop

I wonder if theres a reluctance by relatively new people to post BDSM related questions, for fear of being roasted over the "USE THE SEARCH FUNCTION" flames...


quote:

Not just that but the "Jeez, we hear this question ALL THE TIME" posts, followed by sarcastic answers. (Those are more tiring to me than the repeated "newbie" type questions).


Either of those soooooooooo pisses me off.



_____________________________

What you don't witness with your eyes, don't witness with your mouth. Proverb.

If it fit's in a toaster, i can cook it.

Buying 10 item's or less is not shopping !!

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RE: Where did the BDSM go? - 10/19/2008 10:45:42 AM   
tia111


Posts: 52
Joined: 9/9/2008
Status: offline 		I agree with GreedyTop and NuevaVida. Call me thin skinned but i would rather just read the flames of old as opposed to feeling the heat on my ass. Just my perspective. 

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RE: Where did the BDSM go? - 10/19/2008 10:47:20 AM   
missturbation


Posts: 8290
Joined: 2/12/2006
From: another planet
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: tia111

I agree with GreedyTop and NuevaVida. Call me thin skinned but i would rather just read the flames of old as opposed to feeling the heat on my ass. Just my perspective. 


I find this really sad. That some of the 'older generation' of cm posters are putting of the newer with their flames and search it answers.

_____________________________

What you don't witness with your eyes, don't witness with your mouth. Proverb.

If it fit's in a toaster, i can cook it.

Buying 10 item's or less is not shopping !!

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RE: Where did the BDSM go? - 10/19/2008 10:49:43 AM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		I can appreciate your question, missturbation.  Actually, I think I've seen it on these boards before.  If I can remember it correctly, I'll try to recall what I read when it was asked at a prior time.

The thing about these boards is that they ebb and flow.  They go up, they go down.  They have higher and lower points of participation.  The people who do post regularly have different things going on in their lives, their relationships, and other interests.  If people are posting in reflection in their daily lives, there might be high and low points for the amount of BDSM they are practicing, too.

You'd tend to think that a BDSM site would be about..... well, BDSM.   Shouldn't it be full of techniques on different kinds of play or the great scene that someone had last night?  Maybe.  The thing is, most of us aren't doing that every waking minute of every waking day.  There are other things in life that we talk about.  Not to mention, if that was all of the content of these boards, there might not really be much in the way of conversation.  After all, how often can a person say "that sounds like a great scene that you just wrote about" and keep it interesting?

Rest assured, m.  The flow will return, the tide will rise, regular posters will leave and new ones will show up.  Before you know it, we'll be right back to arguing the definitions between sub, rather than slave, the difference between SSC and RACK, is fire play really safe, and all of the other things that you've grown to expect from the community of Collar Me.




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RE: Where did the BDSM go? - 10/19/2008 10:49:46 AM   
colouredin


Posts: 4279
Joined: 2/2/2007
Status: offline 		I agree with the fear thing, I know I have to think twice or 89 times before posting for fear ill offend someone, and then I always do

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RE: Where did the BDSM go? - 10/19/2008 10:52:04 AM   
NihilusZero


Posts: 4036
Joined: 9/10/2008
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: missturbation

No i'm not talking about threads which concentrate more on dynamic than play.

Play is 'matter of fact' territory. People usually are aware of what their kinks are. The dynamics are the complex creatures and the things that (I should hope) involve the most introspection.


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I know they're all insane
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RE: Where did the BDSM go? - 10/19/2008 10:52:18 AM   
JustDarkness


Posts: 1461
Joined: 7/25/2008
Status: offline 		well go ahead..post some nice stuff about BDSm :P

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RE: Where did the BDSM go? - 10/19/2008 10:53:44 AM   
NihilusZero


Posts: 4036
Joined: 9/10/2008
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: colouredin

I agree with the fear thing, I know I have to think twice or 89 times before posting for fear ill offend someone, and then I always do

See?!?!? This is exactly what I'm talking about!!!!!

*storms out*



















(*...peeks back in with a grin*)

< Message edited by NihilusZero -- 10/19/2008 10:54:05 AM >

_____________________________

"I know it's all a game
I know they're all insane
I know it's all in vain
I know that I'm to blame."
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CM Hall Monitor

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