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RE: Where did the BDSM go? - 10/20/2008 8:45:33 PM   
manxcat


Posts: 673
Joined: 10/3/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: califsue

Funny you should post and ask this question. A chat room I frequent is feeling the same and I think some of the contributing factors are the time of year  with upcoming holidays and family nilla obligations, the current economy and the upcoming election in the USA. I agree with LadyPact, that things ebb and flow and it will return at some point.

that too, been very boring lately on the bg site i frequent

_____________________________

The television, that insidious beast, that Medusa which freezes a
billion people to stone every night, staring fixedly,
that Siren which called and sang and promised so much and gave, after all, so little.
Ray Bradbury


(in reply to califsue)
Profile   Post #: 101
RE: Where did the BDSM go? - 10/20/2008 8:49:53 PM   
manxcat


Posts: 673
Joined: 10/3/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: yourMissTress

Fast Reply

I too get tired of reading a thread about anything at all where numerous people tell the OP to "use the search function".  Don't we all grow and change?  Isn't there something that one of us learned between the last time we read or posted on a thread regarding the same subject?  Couldn't new people post to that thread giving their opinions and thoughts and have something to say that we haven't considered or experienced before?  Or maybe someone who really had something good to say about it wasn't reading the boards the day or week it was last posted and didn't "bump" the thread because we know how people react to that!

I think it's all worth talking about again and again.  I am here for the exchange of ideas and thoughts, to learn how others relate and interact, to read thoughts and opinions that differ from my own, and to share with a broad range of people. 

I believe, as several others have posted, that the "activities" we engage in are the frosting, and once you get past that you have a relationship that is not so different than the relationships of everyone else on the planet.  We may have names for the dynamics in our relationships, but all relationships have a power/authority/control dynamic of some kind.  So, a large portion of what is discussed here will be centered on the relationships that are the cake.  Again, these things are worth discussing more than one or fifty times, as long as someone has an opinion or idea or question and someone else takes the time to read or reply to it, they are relevant and valid to someone.

None of this is to say that searching old threads isn't also a worthwhile endeavour.  There are quite a few former posters or infrequent posters that had good advice, ideas, or opinions.  The wealth of knowledge and experience that has been shared on these boards is not something to be ignored. 


ty too, and yes i do search old threads, but it is nice to 'talk' in the present.

_____________________________

The television, that insidious beast, that Medusa which freezes a
billion people to stone every night, staring fixedly,
that Siren which called and sang and promised so much and gave, after all, so little.
Ray Bradbury


(in reply to yourMissTress)
Profile   Post #: 102
RE: Where did the BDSM go? - 10/20/2008 9:01:39 PM   
MissSCD


Posts: 1185
Joined: 3/10/2007
Status: offline 		It seems to me that the kink side has taken over the BDSM side.  In other words, people just want to play casualy and not have a serious commitment with D/s or S/m. 
The election has a lot of contributing factors.
I agree.  As a rule, the BDSM discussions have deminished.
 
Regards, MissSCD

(in reply to missturbation)
Profile   Post #: 103
RE: Where did the BDSM go? - 10/21/2008 11:43:49 AM   
Jeptha


Posts: 780
Joined: 9/18/2008
From: Portland, Oregon
Status: offline 		The search feature *is* a useful tool, but telling somebody to search can feel dismissive, particularly if it's accompanied by the histrionic lamentations of the world-weary, long-suffering internet veteran.

It can appear like you're saying; "Go read a book. The Bible of Kink. We wrote it. It's perfect. Everything that can be said about the subject has been said already. All possible perspectives are contained in those tomes. It is magnificent. There were giants in those days. Don't come back until you've read it. You'll find it at the 'search' button"

~If you don't mind, how about answering the question rather than giving us a tale from your glory days, pops?

The major-plus feature that a forum has is its interactiveness.
The search function is great for specific topics, especially safety stuff, I bet, but, I often find it curiously not-that-interesting to read pages and pages of transcripts of old conversations that are on more general topics.

(in reply to WinsomeDefiance)
Profile   Post #: 104
RE: Where did the BDSM go? - 10/21/2008 12:18:30 PM   
WinsomeDefiance


Posts: 6719
Joined: 8/7/2007
Status: offline 		   Yep Jeptha, I agree.  I know that is how it came across to me when I was newly logged on to CM and found the forums.  It may have been old news to many, but it was all new to me and I didn't want to read a book, I wanted to interact.  Still, I do understand better now those who do provide links to previous posts, and I honestly do think that most who do this are being helpful rather than dismissive.  This is why I used LA as an example because it was personal to me and I hoped revealed how my perceptions regarding this particular issue had evolved.

WinD

< Message edited by WinsomeDefiance -- 10/21/2008 12:21:26 PM >

(in reply to Jeptha)
Profile   Post #: 105
RE: Where did the BDSM go? - 10/21/2008 12:23:03 PM   
leadership527


Posts: 5026
Joined: 6/2/2008
Status: offline
quote:

The search feature *is* a useful tool, but telling somebody to search can feel dismissive, particularly if it's accompanied by the histrionic lamentations of the world-weary, long-suffering internet veteran.


Yeah, that about sums it up. Especially since that long-suffering internet VETERAN has presumably learned in all their long-suffering years how to skip over a thread that bores them. I have never yet, in any forum on any topic anywhere, found a useful purpose for the "use the search" posting. If I wanted to call someone a stupid newbie, I think I'd just go right ahead and say it.

Edited to add: And yes Winsome... I completely agree. What LA does is not at all the same thing because it actually IS helpful and there is no implied judgement in it whatsoever, merely data.

< Message edited by leadership527 -- 10/21/2008 12:26:13 PM >

_____________________________

~Jeff

I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
I want a joyous, loving, respectful relationship where the male is in charge and deserves to be. - DavanKael

(in reply to Jeptha)
Profile   Post #: 106
RE: Where did the BDSM go? - 10/21/2008 12:37:33 PM   
Jeptha


Posts: 780
Joined: 9/18/2008
From: Portland, Oregon
Status: offline 		One thing I like about the list of links is that LA usually (in the couple of examples that I've seen, anyway) provides the title of the thread that the link belongs to. That helps you make a better guess at the link's specific content and makes the information more readily usable.

(in reply to leadership527)
Profile   Post #: 107
RE: Where did the BDSM go? - 10/21/2008 4:47:51 PM   
dawntreader


Posts: 3045
Joined: 11/23/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Jeptha

One thing I like about the list of links is that LA usually (in the couple of examples that I've seen, anyway) provides the title of the thread that the link belongs to. That helps you make a better guess at the link's specific content and makes the information more readily usable.


Agreed~

_____________________________

It is choice - not chance - that determines our destiny~
Jean Nidetch

There is a war going on for your mind...if you are thinking, you are winning~
Flobots

(in reply to Jeptha)
Profile   Post #: 108
RE: Where did the BDSM go? - 10/21/2008 5:08:19 PM   
LookieNoNookie


Posts: 12216
Joined: 8/9/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: missturbation

More and more recently as i have perused this board and it's threads i have noticed one thing. It's distinct lack of BDSM threads! It appears to be becoming more and more 'nilla' or more and more frequented by people who think that because we are into BDSM, the answers to every day questions must be different.
I'm not saying it's a good or bad thing. I'm not saying it doesn't make peoples questions valid, but i am wondering where the BDSM went from a BDSM board?


Be quiet and bend over...you have a spanking coming to you!

(in reply to missturbation)
Profile   Post #: 109
RE: Where did the BDSM go? - 10/21/2008 6:54:12 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		Well merci beaucoup!! 

I don't think someone should avoid serious relationships because they are really shy, timid and self-conscious.  But there comes a point of competency and understanding that this is the cyber world and you can't take things personally and you have to react like a grown up.  Blaming others for being scared of the big bad online forums just won't wash.

The fact is that most newbies don't really want to understand or to think or to work it out- they want quick easy immediate answers they can put into action tomorrow to be accepted and invited.  I don't help them in that journey.

Yes, any new group you get into will require some hard knocks, if only because of the learning curve and undertanding the paces of that particular mini-community.  But that's just real life stuff.  Collarme is actually one of the best places you'll find that shoots down bullshit very fast- which for the ones who pay their way in it is actually a bad thing.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to LookieNoNookie)
Profile   Post #: 110
RE: Where did the BDSM go? - 10/21/2008 7:29:39 PM   
yourMissTress


Posts: 1665
Joined: 6/14/2005
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline
quote:

Collarme is actually one of the best places you'll find that shoots down bullshit very fast- which for the ones who pay their way in it is actually a bad thing.


LA, can you please clarify this?  I don't know if I'm just not reading it correctly, but I don't understand what you are saying.




_____________________________

Tress


"If you have to tell people that you are a lady, you are not." My Grandmother


(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 111
RE: Where did the BDSM go? - 10/22/2008 11:33:49 AM   
greeneyes600


Posts: 47
Joined: 9/16/2008
Status: offline 		I will look out for your posting then...as psychological domination excites me.

(in reply to DomDolf)
Profile   Post #: 112
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