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Unique Rituals - 10/19/2008 4:45:19 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		As I was coming back from an errand just now, I happened to think of a subject that hadn't crossed My mind in some time.  It was about a ritual with a certain submissive that I had a couple of years ago.  This submissive was never formally collared to Me, yet we were making good progression toward that possibility.  The dynamic was being established, at least to some degree.

Since I didn't live with this person, I had to put rituals in place that could be done while we weren't in the same location.  The daily ritual was that he was to send Me a message each day.  In some part it had to read, "Places a diet pepsi by the bed for when Mistress wakes."  He was permitted to expand on that, or just send the minimum, but it had to be done every day.  Sometimes, he'd add in that he wished he could be there to watch Me sleep.  Others, he'd say that he hoped he got the message in before I woke up. 

When that sub was no longer in My life, that ritual ended.  I've never put it in place in any other dynamic, no matter how close or how far away the subs that followed were to Me.  It's not something I used ever again.  In fact, it was quite a while before I'd even take My 'wake up' caffeine into the room with Me for the following day.  Even now, if I take a diet pepsi to My bedroom for when I wake up, I don't put it beside the bed.

Let Me pause here for a moment to mention the three guidelines that I use for rituals.  These aren't originally Mine.  I stole them from someone else.  When I consider rituals, those three are:

  • The ritual has to serve a purpose.
  • The ritual has to be practical.
  • The ritual has to fit the dynamic.
The ritual I described above fits all three.  The purpose was to help the sub remember what schedule I was on for working that week.  (Mine varies.)  It was practical, since just the minimum requirement literally took less than a minute to complete.  It fit the dynamic because we weren't in the same location, but it ensured that he was thinking of a task he had to do everyday.  There are other things that also fit these categories, but that's basic enough.

My questions are these:  For those of you who use rituals, do you have guidelines for them?  Do you keep certain rituals specific only to a certain dynamic, and not re-instill them should that dynamic end?  Are there any rituals that you would like to share that were/are very special to you, just because they were done only with a particular person?

Lastly, missturbation, I hope this satisfies your interest in more threads being based on BDSM.


_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread
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RE: Unique Rituals - 10/19/2008 5:11:42 PM   
DomDolf


Posts: 363
Joined: 7/11/2008
Status: offline 		I used a timer on my TV to wake me with morning news. A submissive I had several years ago didn't like it because it often would be on a depressing subject when it turned on. Being thoughtful I told her to buy an alarm clock. She bought an alarm clock that was too soft and soothing to wake me appropriately. She said something smart to me about it once when I complained and told her that her alarm clock sucked. This made me instantly come up with a ritual. When the alarm clock went off she was to suck me awake.

I don't use it now and haven't with anyone but her. I am not always in the mood for oral sex and sometimes I really didn't want her to do it, but based on principal we did that for about 14 months. During that 14 months I was not late for work even once.

Dolf

< Message edited by DomDolf -- 10/19/2008 5:13:14 PM >

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RE: Unique Rituals - 10/19/2008 6:22:12 PM   
missturbation


Posts: 8290
Joined: 2/12/2006
From: another planet
Status: offline
quote:

Lastly, missturbation, I hope this satisfies your interest in more threads being based on BDSM.


 
I always send a good morning and a goddnight text. There is no onus on me to do it but i like too. Even in a hectic day where there is no chance to talk i can show i am thinking of Him.



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Buying 10 item's or less is not shopping !!

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RE: Unique Rituals - 10/19/2008 7:28:25 PM   
catize


Posts: 3020
Joined: 3/7/2006
Status: offline
quote:

 
  • The ritual has to serve a purpose.
  • The ritual has to be practical.
  • The ritual has to fit the dynamic 



    • Several years ago I was in a relationship with a dominant man who was local to me.  We would meet 2-3 times a week.  If our meeting was in private we had a ritual that we referred to as The Mantra. The moment he stepped inside my door or I stepped inside his, I knelt before him on all fours and recited the same 3 sentences. 
    It served the purpose of defining who had the authority in the relationship and that I was there to serve him.
    It was practical because he did not require it in public. (and at the time I didn’t have the medical problems I do now so I was able to stand up without assistance once it was done.)
    It fit the dynamic because it was affirmation of his dominance and my submission.  It was very powerful in its simplicity

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    Robert Parker, Stranger in Paradise

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    RE: Unique Rituals - 10/19/2008 9:26:36 PM   
    SailingBum


    Posts: 3225
    Joined: 12/10/2007
    From: Sailin the stormy sea
    Status: offline
    quote:

    ORIGINAL: DomDolf

    I used a timer on my TV to wake me with morning news. A submissive I had several years ago didn't like it because it often would be on a depressing subject when it turned on. Being thoughtful I told her to buy an alarm clock. She bought an alarm clock that was too soft and soothing to wake me appropriately. She said something smart to me about it once when I complained and told her that her alarm clock sucked. This made me instantly come up with a ritual. When the alarm clock went off she was to suck me awake.

    I don't use it now and haven't with anyone but her. I am not always in the mood for oral sex and sometimes I really didn't want her to do it, but based on principal we did that for about 14 months. During that 14 months I was not late for work even once.

    Dolf


    I would be lat efor work every day....

    BadOne

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    RE: Unique Rituals - 10/20/2008 12:29:49 AM   
    Motionflipotion


    Posts: 65
    Joined: 1/24/2008
    From: City of depression
    Status: offline     		I had a ritual set forth for my last serious girlfreind.

    I made it manditory that if she was to come and see me, she bring food.
    Because I didn't love her it helped me to have feelings for her that weren't negative. Food would do this.
    After awhile I started having feelings for her, but by then her training was complete.
    So I followed my own self enforced ritual of moving on to another broken person. She's happy with her new man.
    I still haven't found anyone that fits, besides some crazies that are beyond the point of help.

    To answer the thread, my answer is both yes and no in my experience.

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    RE: Unique Rituals - 10/20/2008 2:12:44 AM   
    Owner4SexSlave


    Posts: 1311
    Joined: 4/4/2007
    Status: offline     		Since it's my job function and Duty as a member of this site to point out how vanilla everything BDSM is.

    Rituals and customs between people tend to occur in all types of relationships.

    I have experienced these in my lifestyle relationships, twisted kinky vanilla relationships and Hell even in a few of my friendships and work relationships.

    I was just sitting here thinking about somebody I used to work with, every morning they were always turning me onto some new coffee flavor.  Not only the flavoring, but different types of coffee itself.  Every morning this guy had something special for me.  He was straight, He was married, and geee...  There was something special about that morning coffee.   He worked in a different department.  So he was not doing this to just suck up to me and get on my good side.  We'd have some good morning conversation, talk about things and life in general.

    When he found out I was leaving, he actually made me a keep sake momemtum that I still have to this day.  It was something symbolic full of meaning. 

    This was not a BDSM D/s or lifestyle relationship whatsoever, and it was a guy that was a Co-Worker not somebody I socialized with outside of work even. 

    So there, I'm sorry I just vanillafied things here a bit.   Like I said, it's my new job function in like.   I'm still waiting for a real thread on BDSM to occur at any moment. (a little smart ass humor here).  Hope you don't mind. :-)


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    RE: Unique Rituals - 10/20/2008 9:17:20 AM   
    justgemmie


    Posts: 246
    Joined: 8/24/2008
    Status: offline     		Greetings LadyPact  :)

    A couple years ago there was a Man I was talking to that lived in Vegas.  I live in DC, and we were working on seeing if it was going to work for us, and working on me traveling there to be with Him and His Wife.

    Every morning when I awoke, and every evening before bed, i knelt and put my hands down so they formed a heart on the floor, and rested my head on my heart-shaped hands, facing West towards Him.  I did this for 5 minutes at least, longer if I had the time.  During that time I thought of Him ,,,, where we were going, how I could be a better slave to Him, mulled over different ways I might please Him when I arrived, and just whatever entered my mind about Him.

    The ritual has to serve a purpose.  It served the purposes of reminding me of Him and what I was to be when I arrived (His slave).
    The ritual has to be practical.  Timewise there was no hardship, if my knees were hurting I could kneel on the bed, I found it very practical.
    The ritual has to fit the dynamic.  At the time I was looking to be a slave and He was looking for a slave.  It was very helpful in my mindset and fit that dynamic well.

    well wishes,
    Gemmie

    < Message edited by justgemmie -- 10/20/2008 9:19:21 AM >

    _____________________________

    "Being a Master to somebody or a slave to somebody is a relationship bound status. Without the relationship the status does not exist and all that is there is the potential or the natural inclination to fulfill such a status in the future." ~ ishyB

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    RE: Unique Rituals - 10/20/2008 10:35:34 AM   
    bound4more


    Posts: 128
    Joined: 10/3/2008
    Status: offline
    quote:

    My questions are these:  For those of you who use rituals, do you have guidelines for them?  Do you keep certain rituals specific only to a certain dynamic, and not re-instill them should that dynamic end?  Are there any rituals that you would like to share that were/are very special to you, just because they were done only with a particular person?



    I adhere to some specific rituals daily. My owner works out of the house, I work at home. I don't  have to be at work at a specific time, but he does. So I get up with him each day, bring him coffee, pour some juice and make his lunch. I make sure he has everything he needs for his day, cellphone, attache, keys etc. Then I'm free to go back to bed if I choose. When he comes home, I stop what I'm doing and greet him, we chat about our day a bit. I make coffee for the next morning (the coffee maker is on a timer), turn the bed covers down, as he likes that and I usually serve him his drinks from a kneeling position, head bowed, and drink raised. Other than that we don't have ongoing rituals.

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    RE: Unique Rituals - 10/20/2008 12:38:06 PM   
    CreativeDominant


    Posts: 11032
    Joined: 3/11/2006
    Status: offline     		I like ritual and protocol.  Call me old-fashioned but I too believe that it helps to shape and define the dynamic. 

    I had the same ritual with my second submissive as catize, for the same reasons.
    I also insist on contact at least once a day to show that they are thinking of me and are willing to take part of their day and give it over to me.  This contact would have to include topics that were not related to how her day was going, how many patients I had seen, etc. but instead include conversation that is indicative of the dynamic we maintain within/without/surrounding our relationship.

    Tis funny...never had those three rules up anywhere as to what makes a good ritual but they make sense:  Practical, fits the dynamic, serves a purpose.

    (in reply to LadyPact)
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    RE: Unique Rituals - 10/20/2008 3:13:16 PM   
    LadyPact


    Posts: 32566
    Status: offline     		Thank you for everyone who is participating in the thread.  I'm very much enjoying hearing the responses.

    CreativeD, thanks for the affirmation on the guidelines.  I wasn't exactly bright enough to come up with them on My own.  I got them from somebody else.


    _____________________________

    The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

    Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

    Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

    Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

    (in reply to CreativeDominant)
    Profile   Post #: 11
    RE: Unique Rituals - 10/21/2008 5:10:29 AM   
    Lordi71


    Posts: 44
    Joined: 8/11/2007
    Status: offline     		When myself and my slave were living apart daily rituals were copmmon place. I would get her to call me mto wake me at a certain time, she would ask what she woul deat etc throughout the day at work. The practicality of this worked amazingly.

    Since we have moved in together, these daily rituals have necome less and less. It just seemd easier to have daily rituals whilst apart.

    Her workplace is a very busy environment where she has to serve (no pun intended) the general public and thus difficult for her to get any structered time etc to accomplish daily routines.


    I have since put in place a ritual where when she goes for lunch, she must choose three things/ items to eat and call me. I would then ,ake the decision of what she should eat. This has worked well.


    Anyway thats my tuppence worth.



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    RE: Unique Rituals - 10/21/2008 6:29:48 AM   
    SrchngCpl73112


    Posts: 47
    Joined: 9/21/2008
    Status: offline     		We had rituals before we ever became involved in BDSM.  Before i even knew anytihng about it.  We would txt each other first thing in the mornign as soon as we woke up everyday and he would call me every evening at 9p.  Rituals can definitely be involved in vanilla relationships too, it just depends on the ritual itself and the relationship.  Now that we are in a D/s relationship and living together we dont have many rituals.  I always get up every mornign and set out his meds and make sure he has everything he needs to get off to work.  He calls me everyday on his lunch break.  We really dont have any technically BDSM or D/s rituals, we just do these things out of love. I dont think we would have the same rituals with any other relationships.  We never have before.  These are rituals based on our love for each other.  They arent even things that were planned out by one person saying this is what we are goign to do everyday.  It has just happened. 

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    RE: Unique Rituals - 10/21/2008 6:38:08 AM   
    leadership527


    Posts: 5026
    Joined: 6/2/2008
    Status: offline     		Yes, what they said

    Our relationship develops organically, over time, as it will. While as the dominant I definitely do some shaping, I have not found the need for inserting elaborate rituals.

    _____________________________

    ~Jeff

    I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
    I want a joyous, loving, respectful relationship where the male is in charge and deserves to be. - DavanKael

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    RE: Unique Rituals - 10/21/2008 6:41:30 AM   
    sorrynobsownsme


    Posts: 15
    Joined: 8/9/2008
    Status: offline     		Sorrynobs uses me, his slave as his alarm clock in such away as well.

    (in reply to DomDolf)
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    RE: Unique Rituals - 10/21/2008 6:48:24 AM   
    sorrynobsownsme


    Posts: 15
    Joined: 8/9/2008
    Status: offline     		In addition a new ritual has accidently been added.  In the morning I put his socks and sometims shoes on, that is if he is feeling paitent lol

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    RE: Unique Rituals - 10/21/2008 7:39:11 AM   
    RainedKitty


    Posts: 1
    Joined: 10/18/2008
    Status: offline     		Many years ago, I had a ritual, every week (I lived apart from my Daddy and only saw him once a week) where he braided my hair. It was more than what it sounds... He had cut my hair off with a knife in a planned scene and I asked that he leave a small strand long. He agreed so that we could have something special to keep that gift I gave him with us. It always made me feel very close to him, and safe. 

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    Profile   Post #: 17
    RE: Unique Rituals - 10/21/2008 11:54:00 AM   
    CreativeDominant


    Posts: 11032
    Joined: 3/11/2006
    Status: offline
    quote:

    ORIGINAL: LadyPact

    Thank you for everyone who is participating in the thread.  I'm very much enjoying hearing the responses.

    CreativeD, thanks for the affirmation on the guidelines.  I wasn't exactly bright enough to come up with them on My own.  I got them from somebody else.



    There is another ritual I like...~s~.  I have a thin gold chain that I like to put around the submissive's waist with a little bit of chain hanging down.  This now becomes their leash while we are out in public and it is nice to be able to grip that little bit and "pull them up short" to remind them that they are on my leash.  Serves a purpose...practical because it is inexpensive...and fits the dynamic of controller/controlled.  AND, it does not impose our dynamic on a non-consenting public.

    (in reply to LadyPact)
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    RE: Unique Rituals - 10/21/2008 12:03:28 PM   
    subtee


    Posts: 5133
    Joined: 7/26/2007
    Status: offline     		Do you keep the same rituals for new slaves/subs, then?

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    RE: Unique Rituals - 10/21/2008 12:04:41 PM   
    tsatske


    Posts: 2037
    Joined: 3/9/2007
    From: Louisville, KY
    Status: offline     		We have several rituals, and they are growing. Sometimes some serve their purpose and leave us - I think I feel more sadness at those then does Master, but, afterall, it is usually His decision.
    Every morning and every night I recite the Kajira's creed to Him. I do suck Him awake every morning (well, first I wake Him with one other thing, but I think feelings on that are mixed on this board, so... but, anyway, after a while he rearranges himself and I suck him), then I get his coffee and kneel when I bring it to him. I start his shower, i get in the whower with him, I wash him. I dry him. When He gets out of the shower and I finish drying Him, I kiss his feet.
    I walk into him when I am finished dressing when we are going somewhere together and ask him to approve my clothing. This is very functional, since he diapproves an average of three to four times per trip out, causing me to change clithes repeatedly until he is happy with my selections.
    I can not always kneel because of knee pain - so I always kiss his cup when I bring it to him.
    I keep his cup full in fast food resterraunts and at munches and parties. At home I keep both his water glass and his cup full. When asked to do things like get him a drink, I answer, 'With pleasure, Sir.'
    Sometimes my hands are chained to my collar at night, sometimes I am chained to the bed. Not quite every night, but that is at his descrection.
    I ask his permission to use the bathroom. I ask his permission to use furniture when we are in the same room together and we are alone.
    Every night (new) I tell him why I am greatful to be his. Then I ask permission to sleep in his bed.
    I try to walk, when with him in public, beside him, (to his right) and one step in front of him, so that i can keep one hand folded behind my back for him to hold, and guide me with.
    and - well, many more. As i said, they are a sometimes changing dynamic. Some stay a long long time - who knows, maybe forever? some have to leave. :(.
    But all serve the purpose with me of allowing me to feel my place in His life, and that is a very good thing for me.

    _____________________________

    “If you never did you should. These things are fun and fun is good”
    ~Dr. Seuss quote

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