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RE: How to choose the right Master... - 10/21/2008 1:59:09 PM

shewhoserves

Posts: 110
Joined: 9/17/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: stella41b

"Eeny meeny miney mo...."

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Post #: 41

RE: How to choose the right Master... - 10/26/2008 4:31:13 AM

Strictyetnice

Posts: 26
Joined: 12/9/2007
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Like others have said, time is your friend here. You are beautiful and young. Although thats a good thing for you, it can be a bad thing too, because all the Doms will be after you. Although this means you have lots to choose from, there will be some that can hurt you. And being a sub you are far more vulnerable to hurt and could be worse than in the vanilla world. The rewards from this lifestyle are great, but you have to be smart. And cautious. Please take your time, and maybe having some people who are just friends in this lifestyle can help. Cause then they can give you a fair assessement from the outside. They also might be experienced and can help you with assessing each potential Dom.

Take care and the best of luck, and if you need more advice I or others will be happy to help :)

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RE: How to choose the right Master... - 10/26/2008 4:53:34 AM

NorthernGent

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quote:

ORIGINAL: whiskeyxladyx

I'm not sure, but being new to this...I'm learning as much as I can, and as far as I know, I still have the power as a Sub to choose who I want to be my Master. I have had many offerings already...I don't know what to do!

There's a risk attached to choosing anything; the most you can do is minimise this risk.

If I were you, I'd err on the side of caution. Slow and steady wins the race, and all that. Get to know someone before diving in.

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RE: How to choose the right Master... - 10/26/2008 7:07:20 AM

Real_Trouble

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If you really want to make an intelligent decision, you should find them, not the other way around.

I'm well aware I come across as abrasive when I say this sort of thing, but I'm going to say it anyways - while there are exceptions to the rule, generally the flood of offers you get on here will be form letters, poorly though out introductions from people just fishing, and occasionally, people just looking to fuck with you. If you want to make a smart decision, you need to look around for someone yourself and go to them.

Likewise, as cruel a truth as it is, most of the best Doms are not going to be looking for a sub on here. That's just life. They probably either already have them, or can get them easily.

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RE: How to choose the right Master... - 10/26/2008 9:04:17 AM

xxblushesxx

Posts: 9318
Joined: 11/3/2005
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Please read up on "sub frenzy" and what it entails.
Read everything you can about the lifestyle, and be friends first.
You don't have to decide anything now.
You don't have to do anything you don't want to do, or you don't feel ready for.
And yes, any new submissive is going to have tons of guys writing to her, even if they don't have a picture, but especially if you do.
I actually didn't put a pic up for a long time, because I wanted the doms who contacted me to be interested in me, not what I look like. I met a lot of very nice people.

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RE: How to choose the right Master... - 10/26/2008 9:25:50 AM

whiskeyxladyx

Posts: 9
Joined: 10/19/2008
From: Cleveland
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I'm starting to wish I didn't put a photo up...!

Thank you for all of the very helpful, and wise advice everyone!

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Post #: 46

RE: How to choose the right Master... - 10/26/2008 9:46:10 AM

califsue

Posts: 593
Joined: 2/2/2008
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First off, welcome. Lots of sage advice from the posters.

One thing that jumps out at me in your profile is "my ideal fantasy" statement.
The truth of living under someone's complete control versus the reality are very very different. Be clear on what you want or you will have every wanker coming after you in the beginning.

When I started I was much older but I did it for play and was not looking for a relationship. Although, many disagree on that, for me it allowed me to experiment, decide what I liked/didn't like.

Search the forums, there are some good books on the market available to read.

Be safe and enjoy your journey.

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RE: How to choose the right Master... - 10/26/2008 10:00:06 AM

GreedyTop

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first thought at reading the title:

"pick one, test for firmness by squeezing gently but firmly" LOL

Other than that, as I'm sure you've probably picked up by now, take your time, trust your instincts, have fun, DONT SETTLE... :)

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RE: How to choose the right Master... - 10/26/2008 10:23:34 AM

Padriag

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Joined: 3/30/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: whiskeyxladyx

I'm not sure, but being new to this...I'm learning as much as I can, and as far as I know, I still have the power as a Sub to choose who I want to be my Master. I have had many offerings already...I don't know what to do!

By lottery perhaps, or sell yourself off to the highest bidder, or whichever offers the best benefits package...
... or perhaps like you decide what to eat tonight... you choose what you like.

But then you would have to know what you like... and be confident in your ability to recognize this in someone else.

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A stern discipline pervades all nature, which is a little cruel so that it may be very kind - Edmund Spencer

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Post #: 49

RE: How to choose the right Master... - 10/26/2008 10:46:05 AM

Incadius

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I don't know exactly what you are looking for, but I know most Masters who don't feel like they have something to prove have the happiest submissives. If you submit to someone, submit to who the person is on a regular basis, not what he acts like when he's "playing the role". It feels nice at first, but after a while, the ones who are trying to fit a role that doesn't mesh with how they are normally start to feel fake, and then the relationship begins to crumble. It can take months or years, but I've seen it happen in almost every case. Fall for the person, and let the dom side be the icing on the cake, and you'll do great.

And anyone who tries ordering you around right from the start and tells you you are not a good submissive if you don't feel comfortable bowing to their will on day one is someone you want to steer clear of. I only mention these types because a friend of mine had this exact thing happen to them. That kind of dominant is not good at what they do, and they try to push their shortcomings onto their sub, blaming them instead of admitting that they themselves are not flawless. Submit and take orders only when you feel comfortable, and don't let anyone tell you otherwise. Hope you find what you're looking for, and I hope this helps.

And listen to califsue, a few posts up. Some may disagree with her methods, but there's sound advice in there. Don't submit long term until you know, without hesitation, what you want in someone. If you jump in, both feet first and eyes closed, you stand the chance, and a pretty good one at that, of ending up with someone that you truely aren't happy with. And I've seen people stay with someone like that because they just don't know anything better is out there.

< Message edited by Incadius -- 10/26/2008 10:52:18 AM >

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RE: How to choose the right Master... - 10/26/2008 10:48:22 AM

GreedyTop

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nicely said, Incadius :)

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RE: How to choose the right Master... - 10/26/2008 12:08:16 PM

moonvine

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fast reply

I really need to get an eye exam...I read this as how to *chase* the right Master..heh

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Post #: 52

RE: How to choose the right Master... - 10/26/2008 12:59:50 PM

SusieBlue

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Joined: 10/23/2008
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If I were in your position, whiskeylady, I wouldn't choose any of them- yet. Go to a play party/event, keep it casual, play with a few people to learn a bit more about what you want. And stay sober while you're doing it.