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Has there ever - 10/21/2008 11:00:51 AM   
Esclava2one


Posts: 34
Joined: 9/17/2008
Status: offline 		Masters, has there ever been a time that You have decided that You no longer had the time to devote to Your sub/slave and let her go?  How was it handled?  i ask because i feel my Master no longer has the time to train and should let me go, but i do not believe He sees it.

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RE: Has there ever - 10/21/2008 11:12:37 AM   
Rover


Posts: 2634
Joined: 6/28/2004
Status: offline 		The realities of life dictate that there are many times when I don't have the time to do any number of things, including training.  The issue, as I see it, is not so much that I might not have time at any given point... but whether that is a permanent or temporary impairment.
 
John

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"Man's mind stretched to a new idea never goes back to its original dimensions."

Sri da Avabhas

(in reply to Esclava2one)
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RE: Has there ever - 10/21/2008 11:42:14 AM   
SteelofUtah


Posts: 5307
Joined: 10/2/2007
From: St George Utah
Status: offline 		TALK!!!!

Sit Him down and say, I am not getting what I need because you are too busy. Is this a Temporary thing or is this just how it is?

But Nothing you get Here is going to affect your situation..... If you are not Happy then you need to go to the source.

Steel

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Just Steel
Resident Therapeutic Metallurgist
The Steel Warm-Up © ™
For the Uber Posters
Thanks for the Grammatical support : ) ~ Term

(in reply to Rover)
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RE: Has there ever - 10/21/2008 12:57:30 PM   
SacredBond


Posts: 1
Joined: 8/2/2007
Status: offline 		edited


< Message edited by SacredBond -- 10/21/2008 1:18:19 PM >

(in reply to Esclava2one)
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RE: Has there ever - 10/21/2008 1:37:43 PM   
tazzygirl


Posts: 37833
Joined: 10/12/2007
Status: offline 		im a tad bit confused.  you were posting on the sub/slave boards about being bored, and here you post this.  could your boredom be from his lack of training?  or, are you feeling like he doesnt want to train you because you are bored?

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Duchess of Dissent 1
Dont judge me because I sin differently than you.
If you want it sugar coated, dont ask me what i think! It would violate TOS.

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RE: Has there ever - 10/21/2008 2:04:02 PM   
Esclava2one


Posts: 34
Joined: 9/17/2008
Status: offline 		i feel i am bored  with the lack of training.  The time thing is permanent because He has decided to take on another job, which i so understand.  i have talked to Him about letting me go and He says things will get better, in my search for a Master one of  the requirements was that He be available to train, which He and i discussed, and He assured me He would have the time. i do not feel i am being a baby, but i do feel  i have made changes in my life according to His wishes, which is what i signed up for, but if He no longer has the time i think He should let me go.  i know i can just walk away if i choose, but i feel that is not the proper way to end things. 

_____________________________

Only in service am i free.



*Proudly owned and collared by Master Brandon*

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RE: Has there ever - 10/21/2008 3:09:28 PM   
masterlink65


Posts: 683
Joined: 11/3/2007
Status: offline 		your wants may exceed your needs.


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RE: Has there ever - 10/21/2008 3:16:08 PM   
akisha


Posts: 2071
Joined: 6/25/2005
Status: offline 		Well i may be totally off my rocker but I'm guessing there is no emotional involvement on your part in this relationship, and if it was based solely on "You do X for me and i'll do YZ for you" then maybe you should just move on and find someone that will be able to cater to your wishes.

While I can conceive of that dynamic it is not one I'm familar with personally. If he can not train you in the way you demand to be trained than move on and let him find someone that fits his life and you find someone that fits yours.

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It's not a blonde moment! It's momentary peroxide posioning. ;)

Your pain makes me smile ~ Happy Bunny

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(in reply to Esclava2one)
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RE: Has there ever - 10/21/2008 4:42:51 PM   
masterforRT


Posts: 176
Joined: 5/16/2008
Status: offline 		BDSM can mimic life, in that there are things that happen. Life changes, situations change and demands on time change. Look at Barack Obama-who is off to Hawaii on Thursday and Friday to spend time with his dying grandmother (who raised him)  less than two weeks before the Presidential election. Many think he is crazy to take two days off so close to the election-that it could even cost him the presidency. He feels otherwise-that taking time to see the person closest to him (besides his wife and kids) before she dies is the right thing to do.

I agree 100% with what he is doing-he is following his heart and soul rather then his brain. This shows him to be a decent human being.

Do you see the comparison I'm trying to make with your situation? Perhaps your Master simply has found that the stresses of a new job (possibly in a new location) have required him to spend more time dealing with that which leaves less time for you. Rather then acting as a taker, why not try giving for once? Put yourself in his shoes and look at things from his perspective.
Cut him a bit of slack-you just might well find that you receive the ultimate benefit in the long run.

< Message edited by masterforRT -- 10/21/2008 4:45:01 PM >

(in reply to akisha)
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RE: Has there ever - 10/21/2008 4:47:59 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		While I'm not a Dom, there have been times I have walked away from a relationship because they simply did not have the time to devote to make me or us.

Unfortunately this has happened more often than not for me and I think it just may be a sign of the times that many people nowadays just don't have the time for each other. They're too busy with making ends meet or their own agendas.

If you feel your partner isn't spending enough time with you then you have to decide what's most important to you and if you can stick it out.

It's not an easy decision, especially when emotions and connections come into play.

(in reply to masterforRT)
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RE: Has there ever - 10/21/2008 5:38:32 PM   
SirMIkeSD


Posts: 613
Joined: 3/16/2007
From: San Diego, Ca
Status: offline 		Let me say that there are edds and flows in any relationship and you could just be in a dry spell.

Also, training is not always an on-going process. Maybe you know enough to serve him now and just need to do so now with minor corrections if needed. There could be he is just seeing how you do with what he has trained you for. Once he is done reviewing how you are doing in his head, he may decide that you need more or he is fine with what you know.

But to really find out ASK HIM, not us as we don't have a clue what he is thinking.
Mike

(in reply to littlewonder)
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RE: Has there ever - 10/21/2008 7:03:17 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Esclava2one
Masters, has there ever been a time that You have decided that You no longer had the time to devote to Your sub/slave and let her go?  How was it handled?  i ask because i feel my Master no longer has the time to train and should let me go, but i do not believe He sees it.

Well they were the ones who decided for me, and it sucked.  Like adopting a puppy and then taking it back to the pound a few weeks later.  First they just got really cold and avoiding, finally they just cut it off clean and brisk with no input on my end.  (The real issue was the wife not being comfortable with the intensity of where it was going between the husband and I)  Then they talked smack about me to others, apologized to me sheepily about it when it became obvious and we pretty much just don't communicate anymore.

In your situation, I'd say the issue is more one of priorities and needing to sit down and be fair to eachother.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to SirMIkeSD)
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RE: Has there ever - 10/22/2008 7:29:53 PM   
Huntertn


Posts: 715
Joined: 10/7/2006
Status: offline 		Sounds like your talking, but he's not listening...Try talking to him again..Then again..the third time would be finial for me..three Strikes and he's out....

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Has there ever - 10/22/2008 9:04:28 PM   
WhiplashSmile2


Posts: 526
Joined: 6/11/2008
Status: offline 		Unless this is a deep relationship that involves emotional and long term commitment, I would say attempt to communicate your needs, which it sounds like you have already.   Sounds like work is a priority over matters, which is the reality here.

I would say, it might be time to part ways peacefully, find somebody else that fillfulls your slave/submissive desires.

I don't get the impression that this is a relationship with long term commitment, goals and deep emotional involvement. 

(in reply to Esclava2one)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Has there ever - 10/23/2008 8:33:03 AM   
ranja


Posts: 2111
Joined: 11/1/2007
Status: offline 		Ask Him to release you if you want to follow such a ritual type thing... it might add a bit of drama and lift the boredom for a bit

(in reply to Esclava2one)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Has there ever - 10/23/2008 8:44:51 AM   
leadership527


Posts: 5026
Joined: 6/2/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Esclava2one
Masters, has there ever been a time that You have decided that You no longer had the time to devote to Your sub/slave and let her go?  How was it handled?  i ask because i feel my Master no longer has the time to train and should let me go, but i do not believe He sees it.


No, this has never happened, nor will it ever happen... ever.

I do not enter into "play" relationships. I say regularly and to all who will listen that the woman who is my wife/sub/slave is the most important thing in the world to me. I do not make casual assertions like that. If I was not having sufficient time for her, then I would adjust my time allocations in alignment with my priorities (her first).

The situation you are living in, however, is very different and very different thinking is going to apply. If you want my off-the-cuff analysis... a "master" who is not engaged fully with his "slave" is not a master at all and you therefor have zero obligations to him as such. Now the question is what obligations, if any, do you have to him as a relationship partner?

_____________________________

~Jeff

I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
I want a joyous, loving, respectful relationship where the male is in charge and deserves to be. - DavanKael

(in reply to Esclava2one)
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RE: Has there ever - 10/23/2008 9:21:24 AM   
ThundersCry


Posts: 892
Status: offline 		Yes...
 
And I had to let her go...
 
With claw marks...

(in reply to Esclava2one)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Has there ever - 10/23/2008 9:33:17 AM   
sailorfrank


Posts: 127
Joined: 6/18/2008
Status: offline 		    Yes indeed move on..."if" he has not done what you two agreed on as far as how much training you were going to do!

Find someone else that will give you more training that you want.  Dont be sad and neglected but instead be...Happy and well used!

(in reply to ThundersCry)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Has there ever - 10/23/2008 11:14:22 AM   
RealSub58


Posts: 1073
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Esclava2one

i feel i am bored  with the lack of training. 


What training do you seek, need, want?
Have you told him specifically what it is that you want, need, seek training in?
Patience is training I find difficult.  Do you have patience?
 
Claudia Varrin, in EROTIC SURRENDER, tells how she trained herself in the absence of her Dom while separated.
I found this book very helpful.

http://books.google.com/books?id=zlOEAEJfiDgC&dq=Claudia+Varrin&pg=PP1&ots=AQN71YL9ot&source=an&sig=gz8_PwbwJeMKF5gR4Wi7gKjUzc8&hl=en&sa=X&oi=book_result&resnum=6&ct=result#PPR5,M1

On the other hand being bored just because he is not doing what you want him to do, tells me that you are ready to get out of the relationship....much like married people who have grown bored of each other.
 
Have truly said to him
1.  I am bored of this relationship.
2. My needs, wants are ......
3. I don't feel you are helping me with what I need, seek, want anymore.
4.  If you cannot, then I am moving on for myself.
 
It also sounds like this relationship is all about you.

(in reply to Esclava2one)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Has there ever - 10/23/2008 11:45:21 PM   
SailingBum


Posts: 3225
Joined: 12/10/2007
From: Sailin the stormy sea
Status: offline 		Yes it happens all the time for a number of reasons.  My girl of has gone back to school to finish her master bet that and her director of ops job, leaves little time for us.  Sometimes life does that to us.  Stay or leave the choice is yours.

BadOne

_____________________________

The beatings will continue until morale improves.

According to SwithNSpanky
We are all so very lucky to have you with us to impart your great wisdom.

(in reply to RealSub58)
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