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RE: Has there ever - 10/23/2008 11:49:47 PM

NuevaVida

Posts: 6707
Joined: 8/5/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: leadership527

a "master" who is not engaged fully with his "slave" is not a master at all and you therefor have zero obligations to him as such. Now the question is what obligations, if any, do you have to him as a relationship partner?

I read this several times. It hit on something within me. What, exactly, I don't know just yet, but for what it's worth, thank you for saying it.

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Live Simply. Love Generously. Care Deeply. Speak Kindly.

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RE: Has there ever - 10/23/2008 11:52:11 PM

Kirata

Posts: 15477
Joined: 2/11/2006
From: USA
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Esclava2one

Masters, has there ever been a time that You have decided that You no longer had the time to devote to Your sub/slave and let her go? How was it handled? i ask because i feel my Master no longer has the time to train and should let me go, but i do not believe He sees it.

He may see it, but feel conflicted because he doesn't want to hurt you by sending you away. Some things are best faced together. Talk to him.

K.

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RE: Has there ever - 10/24/2008 10:50:32 AM

Jeptha

Posts: 780
Joined: 9/18/2008
From: Portland, Oregon
Status: offline

People have different needs about how much "face time" they have in a relationship. I'm at the lower end of the spectrum.
I try to give equal time to work (as much as I've tried to find work satisfying, "grubbing for money" remains the main raison d’être for this activity), my own personal projects, and my relationships.
Hanging out with my partner about twice a week is generally enough for me.

Ok, so, that said;

quote:

ORIGINAL: Esclava2one

Masters, has there ever been a time that You have decided that You no longer had the time to devote to Your sub/slave and let her go? How was it handled?

I did have a partner who desired more in-person contact than I did. I didn't wish to change, so I put the ball in her court by establishing one simple rule: Decide if you are happy, and if not, initiate a change.

Her approach was to try and initiate a poly situation in order to keep me and add more romantic contact in her life. I was open to the idea, but she chose to start a long-distance (Portland to San Francisco) relationship, and so I ended it because I wasn't comfortable sharing her with someone I'd never met and who had never contacted me. (edit to add: those aren't the only reason it ended. I also think we were both drifting and ready to take on new things in general.)

In my current relationship, we both have time constraints so we use e-mail, and the occasional phone call, to fill in the blanks, and that is acceptable to us both.

quote:

i ask because i feel my Master no longer has the time to train and should let me go, but i do not believe He sees it.

If you feel that it is not enough for you, and that the situation cannot be amended in a suitable manner, then that is perfectly acceptable.
At least it is in my book.
If that is your honest feeling, you may have to be the one to initiate the action process for change, however.

Good luck to you!

< Message edited by Jeptha -- 10/24/2008 10:58:24 AM >

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