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What is and isn't BDSM/Fetish - 10/21/2008 9:33:57 PM   
Tslaveboy


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Is there a big difference between an activity that would be considered BDSM/Fetish and one that is just kinky? What is it that makes one or the other? Is it the roles that one assumes? Is it incorporating the activity into a longterm lifestyle? Is it the power exchange? Is it incorporating the activity into your normal day-to-day life?

What is it that makes it one or the other?
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RE: What is and isn't BDSM/Fetish - 10/21/2008 10:56:43 PM   
leadership527


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Let's see, at last count we couldn't even decide what BDSM was. Now you want to compare and contrast that to "kinky"? Heck, I'm still lost trying to figure out what vanilla means.

*sits back and pulls up a bowl of popcorn*

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RE: What is and isn't BDSM/Fetish - 10/22/2008 12:57:25 AM   
JustDarkness


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BDSM is to every one something else. And why should one care for the opinion of an other
Just be happy with your view..and enjoy it

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RE: What is and isn't BDSM/Fetish - 10/22/2008 1:01:03 AM   
colouredin


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nope no big differance just words people choose to apply, steep in value judgement and roll around with

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RE: What is and isn't BDSM/Fetish - 10/22/2008 2:32:43 AM   
SailingBum


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Look it up.

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RE: What is and isn't BDSM/Fetish - 10/22/2008 2:46:51 AM   
LFAFanatic


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in MY personal opinion, It IS what YOU make it!

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RE: What is and isn't BDSM/Fetish - 10/22/2008 3:09:25 AM   
tsatske


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LFAF,
You are cute as a dickens, you know that, right? And you keep posting to the boards with intellegent, thoughtful, (although typically male in brevity) answers, even before you get your icecream cone eaten.
I think there is a TOS against that. As far as I can tell, there is a rule that, while the icecream cone is up, newbies must post unintellegble rants and express stupidity that they must have to work at to engeneer. This intellegence from a fresh face both young and new, is going to upset our established patterns around here.
You are going to be a welcome addition, sweetie.

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RE: What is and isn't BDSM/Fetish - 10/22/2008 3:22:09 AM   
RCdc


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BDSM is an acronym, fetish causes sexual stimulation and release and kink is a personally unusual liking or desire(with emphasis on the personal, because what is unusual for one person will not be unusual for another).
 
The rest of your questions aren't very specific.  It can be all it can be none (yeah tee if you are watching, I know, but it's a cool answer that rocks)
 
the.dark.

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RE: What is and isn't BDSM/Fetish - 10/22/2008 7:30:24 AM   
LadyJulieAnn


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I'm kinky because I am into BDSM.

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RE: What is and isn't BDSM/Fetish - 10/22/2008 7:37:36 AM   
CatdeMedici


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It is how we as individuals define an act, a belief, a behavior based on ingrained values/beliefs.

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RE: What is and isn't BDSM/Fetish - 10/22/2008 10:49:17 AM   
Tslaveboy


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I like that answer. It isn't sexually stimulating for me most of the time (except for 2 or 3 things), it's just fun.  So I now know that most of what I do ISN'T fetish.

That really helps. Thanks.

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RE: What is and isn't BDSM/Fetish - 10/22/2008 11:14:27 AM   
WhiplashSmile2


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Tslaveboy,  at times it's best to keep things really simple verses making everything complex.   This is one of those times.

There are many people in so called vanilla relationships that are D/s, however they do not identify with or even know much about "the lifestyle".   There are many people engaging and doing kinky things that don't identify with BDSM.

Take what every letter of what BDSM represents, if you are doing one or more of those things you are really into BDSM regardless if you indentify with it or not.   One does not have to do anything and everything there is.

Kink alone is good enough, D/s alone is good enough.  There are just levels of interest and involment for people in all this madness.

Some of us are more involved in these things compared to other people, for us, we have made the choice to identify ourselves in "part" or in "whole" as being into BDSM, or D/s or the lifestyle.

You are trying to place weight upon individuals level of choice and involvement and attempt to Define if they are or are not into BDSM.  

I keep it simple, if a person engages in the very least what ONE of the letters of BDSM represents and they are aware of it, and take on an interest BDSM, that's all it takes.

There are many people doing the same twisted things that many of us do, without using any labels or embracing BDSM itself. 

Think about about the fact, people have been doing this shit for years long before the concept of BDSM has evolved, or was coined. 

I really wish some people would see these things we do as part of or as a slice of Everyday so called vanilla life. 

This stuff is a part of human nature and we are simply a slice of it.  Other people that don't identifiy with it officially are a part of it as well.   Not everybody is into kink or D/s as well. 

Some people are into M/s with TPE, and that's great as well.  There are so many paths and choices based on personal interests and tastes it ain't funny.

Some people are lost and clueless as to how to combine BDSM, D/s or kink into their everyday so called vanilla life.  Simply start looking at things from the BIG Picture.  LIFE itself.  People have to work, have homes, have jobs, eat food, go to the movies and do many things that all humans do. 

You'd swear at times that somebody being involved in BDSM meant selling their soul to the devil, sweaing off what it is to be human, and was living life like there were an alien from another damn planet.   We are all human beings.

For awhile when people come into the lifestyle or BDSM, they are somehow confused thinking the Basics don't apply here, but they do.

I Love temporary body art, drawing on the body for instance.  To some people this is kinky, for others it's not kinky.  Who gives a rats ass, it's something I enjoy and love doing, and it's a part of my life.   When something is a part of your life, it is part of your lifestyle.

If you enjoy fucking or being fucked up the ass, if it's part of your life, then it's part of your lifestyle.   If you enjoy eating fruit loops cerel in the morning, it's something that is part of your lifelife, therefore Fruit Loops cereal is part of your Day to Day lifestyle as your diet.

If you are the one in charge of things at home, the boss of a relationship, it's part of your life and your lifestyle.  D/s is D/s regardless if you indentify with it or not.

It should be obvious that the more kinks and activities you do, that you are more strongly connected with it.



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RE: What is and isn't BDSM/Fetish - 10/22/2008 4:13:12 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


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For me there is a difference.  Which is why I don't use the term bdsm and only use fetish in the literal sexual sense.  Otherwise I stick with "kinky" because I find it fits so much better whenever you're talking in a general capacity.

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