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to all the long term experienced sub/slaves. - 10/23/2008 7:59:47 AM

hallieB

Posts: 63
Joined: 5/7/2008
Status: offline

I am seeking advice and or experiences from long term experienced subs/slaves about an issue I am trying to deal with between my Master and myself. I have been involved with Master for about 6 months now and everything has been great. This is my first relationship outside of vanilla. I have enjoyed every minute I spend with him, he has opened my eyes to a lot of soul searching. We have not entered into any of the kink part of the relationship at this time. Our relationship thus far has been mostly about building trust, being honest with each other and defining who we are and what we want from each other. My Master is a teacher, his passion within this lifestyle is to teach and train. Share his knowledge with others. In the beginning he stated that someday we would teach together. He has said that he has only 1 sub and that would be me.I would always be first and no one will take my place. I am willing to try what ever he wants. I am having a problem with him teaching others when I am not there. He says He would never f**k another woman just to f**k her. He only teaches and/or trains. At this time he says he is not teaching anyone in person only through the internet and only if they contact him for advice. I wish there was no need for him to do this but since there is I believe I could accept it if I was there and knew who they were and what they were seeking. I know the time is coming that I will be at my home and another sub will be there with him. He says if my trust is strong enough in him I shouldnt have a problem. Is this possible? I dont think I want a relationship where there is always another that needs him. I am falling in love with Master and he has stated he feels the same about me and would never do anything to hurt me. Is it possible for me to accept this. I have never walked in these shoes before. If there is anyone who has please share with me your experience and how you were able to cope. I dont want to lose him over something stupid. But it is coming down to making a decission, can I change, can I accept? I dont want to just deal with it, I want to accept it or not. I want to be ok with it or move on. I dont want it to be something that I just let happen and pretend like it doesnt. I dont want to cry at night about it. I dont want it to be something he hides from me because he knows I cant deal with it. I dont want it to hurt me anymore. Help me please...........

Post #: 1

RE: to all the long term experienced sub/slaves. - 10/23/2008 8:15:39 AM

VampiresLair

Posts: 1307
Joined: 9/3/2008
Status: offline

I am also a mentor often, but within my teaching everything is strictly hands off. You can teach in the lifestyle without there being sex. You need to tell you Master how you feel, and let him know that you are not comfortable with it. If I do instruct, Fox will be with me, I will not do any alone because I do not think it is proper to do so. If you cannot accept the situation, let him know that. If he loves you, he will make the decision. There should never be a passion for teaching that is so great as to put the relationship you have in danger.
Maybe this is something that will change over time, once you learn more about his instructing and you have been present for some of it. But this early in the relationship, it is not unusual to be uncomfortable with sharing even if he has told you you are his one and only sub. If you do grow to accept it, it will take time. It is not something you can figure out hypothetically. You need to actually deal with the situation and see how it makes you feel, then take it from there.

DV

_____________________________

Separately we are DiurnalVampire and DVsFox

10/18 Wedding date. 1 year and still blissfully happy

10/13/10 3 year anniversary of his becoming my Fox

Talk impolitely to me, baby - Thanks sunshinemiss

(in reply to hallieB)

Post #: 2

RE: to all the long term experienced sub/slaves. - 10/23/2008 8:17:52 AM

kyraofMists

Posts: 3292
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline

What does he mean by 'teach and train'?

When I read that part, the first impression I had was giving seminars at local events or maybe even getting involved in national events. Then as I read your post further it seems that is the wrong impression.

If he won't fuck another just to fuck her are there other reasons that he would fuck someone else?

To your questions, yes, it is possible to learn to accept and even get joy out of your partner being intimate with others. One of the most important steps in my opinion, is gaining security. Security within yourself and security within the relationship that you have with him. If you don't believe that you are secure within your relationship, then I don't think it is possible to not fear being replaced.

Knight's Kyra

_____________________________

"Passion... it lies in all of us. Sleeping, waiting, and though unbidden, it will stir, open its jaws, and howl. It speaks to us, guides us... passion rules us all. And we obey..." ~Angelus

(in reply to hallieB)

Post #: 3

RE: to all the long term experienced sub/slaves. - 10/23/2008 8:53:18 AM

mc1234

Posts: 683
Joined: 10/4/2008
Status: offline

I think Kyra makes an excellent point about security within your relationship. I think you may also need to get some parameters from him so that you fully understand what it is he wants to do. Does he want to form a relationship with a sub he is training - will it be an ongoing thing? I'm not sure why he'd need to fuck her to train her. What kind of training is it, exactly? Has he been training you this way for the past six months? It seems to me that if you haven't moved into the kinky part of the relationship yet with him, you may have a hard time even understanding what it is he is going to be physically *doing* with the submissive he's training.

Perhaps once you understand what it is to be, you will be able to decide whether it's something you can be okay with or not. I don't think you can make a decision based on what you know so far.

(in reply to kyraofMists)

Post #: 4

RE: to all the long term experienced sub/slaves. - 10/23/2008 8:54:39 AM

CalifChick

Posts: 10717
Joined: 10/28/2007
From: California
Status: offline

Maybe I was born a natural, but I've never had anybody fuck me to teach me or train me about anything.

Cali

_____________________________

AKA "The Undisputed Goddess of Sarcasm", "Big Bad Cali" and "Yum Bum". Advisor to the Subbie Mafia, founding member of the W.A.C. and the Judgmental Bitches Brigade, member of the Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's and Team Troll

(in reply to mc1234)

Post #: 5

RE: to all the long term experienced sub/slaves. - 10/23/2008 9:10:50 AM

leadership527

Posts: 5026
Joined: 6/2/2008
Status: offline

I am the first to admit that I am not a kinkster and have little understanding of the "rules of the road" when it comes to such things.

From my (possibly way off base) perspective though, if I had such a nice relationship (which I in fact do), I would not be tossing hand grenades around in my living room just to see if one of em might blow up. When I make decisions, I try to envision the worst case outcomes and then ask myself, "if that occurs, would I be good with it?" I do have to wonder whether the two of you will still see value in this mentoring/sex that is going on AFTER it has destroyed your relationship. I do wonder why your master sees more value in this mentoring/sex that he's getting than he does in you. I do wonder if your master knows you well enough to know that you are slipping away from him. In my mind, he has already lost you as his slave, the real question is does he get to keep you in any form at all?

That is how it looks to me -- possibly way incorrectly.

I sincerely wish you good luck
~Jeff

_____________________________

~Jeff

I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
I want a joyous, loving, respectful relationship where the male is in charge and deserves to be. - DavanKael

(in reply to hallieB)

Post #: 6

RE: to all the long term experienced sub/slaves. - 10/23/2008 9:17:55 AM

sunshinemiss

Posts: 17673
Joined: 11/26/2007
Status: offline

sounds about right to me jeff, and i'm fairly kinky.. ahem.

What struck me was that you all have been together only 6 months and he's messing around with someone else. I mean... ummm fucking someone? I had a relationship - completely D/s that had zero sex in it. It is not necessary. And any sub that needs a mentor, I would recommend talking to OTHER subs/slaves. I have a couple of Men I can ask opinions of, I can bring info to them and get some advice, but being trained/mentored by another man? Honey, he needs to take care of home first...

good luck. It's clear you are in a good amount of pain. That is the first order of business to be handled. By him, by you, by the two of you. Sounds like it's time to have a little come to jesus (that would be... a serious talk).

sunshine

_____________________________

Yes, I am a wonton hussy... and still sweet as 3.14

(in reply to leadership527)

Post #: 7

RE: to all the long term experienced sub/slaves. - 10/23/2008 10:37:39 AM

LittleLostSub67

Posts: 1
Joined: 4/21/2008
Status: offline

i have been serving as a submissive for fourteen years. Most of my experience has been poly. In my opinion, it is Your Dom's prerogative, how many He will own or train. i don't believe it's my place or yours to judge if this is right or wrong but the issue at hand, how do you find your way to acceptance?

For myself, i had to assess the "programs" in my head. Initially, i had the same reaction as you. i think everyone does, naturally, because the conventional concept of monogamous love is so ingrained and indoctrined, i believe it's one of the hardest concepts to overcome. But take a moment and examine jealousy. What exactly is jealousy? As a previous post stated, it's simply insecurity. What are you afraid of? As previous poster stated, being replaced? Not getting enough time or attention? Both of these answers reflect lack of trust in your Master and your situation. So...if you can really dig deep and acknowledge that you DO trust your Master, make that your mantra, when you are lying awake at night worrying about it. Reprogram yourself and your reaction to these feelings with rational thoughts. Jealousy can be overcome. It's just a matter of feeling secure and then trusting that.

More food for thought: where does this monogamous idea of love come from anyway? As children, do we feel that our parents will love us less they have another child? It is easy to accept non-monogamous love in that way. How come? Are you a mother? Could you love more than one child equally? Or a pet owner? Have you ever had more than one pet a time? It doesn't seem unreasonable that you could love, care for and manage more than one without comprimisng the love you had for the first?

i think it's also natural that our brains tend first to the negative on this one. For example, we immediately see this situation as, the glass half empty. My Master working with another will take away from my experience, i will have less of Him bc i have to share.

OR

The glass is half full. My Master taking in another will mean that i will have two people in my relationship, two people to share with and love and be loved by. i am not sure if you are going to be involved in His training of others or not at this stage, but even if not, making your Master happy will only make your experience better.

My advice is, try to reprogram your thoughts to putting Him first and not your feelings (for now.) Maybe in time, after you give it your best shot, you will determine you are monogamous. Poly is not for everyone. But you have to try at least, you might surprise yourself what you are capable of. Further to that, you may find the poly aspect to be more rewarding than you ever imagined.

What my fourteen years experience has taught me, is the mind is very malliable, if you are willing to really try.

i think i've said enough here. lol. Good luck and if you have any questions about what i've said or want to discuss one on one feel free to contact me directly. :)

(in reply to sunshinemiss)

Post #: 8

RE: to all the long term experienced sub/slaves. - 10/23/2008 10:40:26 AM

Aynne88

Posts: 3873
Joined: 8/29/2008
Status: offline

Yeah, he is full of it. Why does he need to fuck her to train her anything? Puhleeze, man up and tell the truth dude, you want to play poly, have it it. But don't expect any sub/slave with a brain to think you are teaching via the "fuck" method of schooling.

_____________________________

As long as people will shed the blood of innocent creatures there can be no peace, no liberty, no harmony between people. Slaughter and justice cannot dwell together.
—Isaac Bashevis Singer, writer and Nobel laureate (1902–1991)

(in reply to hallieB)

Post #: 9

RE: to all the long term experienced sub/slaves. - 10/23/2008 10:54:19 AM

bound4more

Posts: 128
Joined: 10/3/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: hallieB

I am seeking advice and or experiences from long term experienced subs/slaves about an issue I am trying to deal with between my Master and myself. I have been involved with Master for about 6 months now and everything has been great. This is my first relationship outside of vanilla. I have enjoyed every minute I spend with him, he has opened my eyes to a lot of soul searching. We have not entered into any of the kink part of the relationship at this time. Our relationship thus far has been mostly about building trust, being honest with each other and defining who we are and what we want from each other. My Master is a teacher, his passion within this lifestyle is to teach and train. Share his knowledge with others. In the beginning he stated that someday we would teach together. He has said that he has only 1 sub and that would be me.I would always be first and no one will take my place. I am willing to try what ever he wants. I am having a problem with him teaching others when I am not there. He says He would never f**k another woman just to f**k her. He only teaches and/or trains. At this time he says he is not teaching anyone in person only through the internet and only if they contact him for advice. I wish there was no need for him to do this but since there is I believe I could accept it if I was there and knew who they were and what they were seeking. I know the time is coming that I will be at my home and another sub will be there with him. He says if my trust is strong enough in him I shouldnt have a problem. Is this possible? I dont think I want a relationship where there is always another that needs him. I am falling in love with Master and he has stated he feels the same about me and would never do anything to hurt me. Is it possible for me to accept this. I have never walked in these shoes before. If there is anyone who has please share with me your experience and how you were able to cope. I dont want to lose him over something stupid. But it is coming down to making a decission, can I change, can I accept? I dont want to just deal with it, I want to accept it or not. I want to be ok with it or move on. I dont want it to be something that I just let happen and pretend like it doesnt. I dont want to cry at night about it. I dont want it to be something he hides from me because he knows I cant deal with it. I dont want it to hurt me anymore. Help me please...........

Ya know - call me a realist, but it seems the writing's on the wall already. First of all, I'm one who believes Dominants train other Dominants and subs or slaves train other subs and slaves. I think it keeps the D/s dynamic from occuring. I also think it keeps everything nice and tidy as it's much less likely, not unheard of, but less likely that 2 Dominants are going to want to team up etc. Plus, I happen to believe that only one who has experienced something truly understands it enough to help someone else learn about it. Buy, hey, that's me. It's interesting that it's usually some Dominant who is training a sub/slave and not the other way around. Now I find this interesting because, as a sub/slave, I really don't know how dominants think so I certainly wouldn't feel qualified to "train" them. And I don't truly believe a Dominant understands the heart and mind of a submissive - unless it's THEIR submissive. So as far as training is concerned - well - unless it's in an auditorium and one is demonstrating flogging or some other technical skill, I honestly don't know how one can "train" another who is not their property.

There're all kinds of justifications that go on under the guise of "oh it's okay because it's BDSM". People continue to be people no matter what their interests, passions etc. Follow your own feelings honey. If you already don't like what you see going on, then it doesn't matter what it's called. It doesn't feel good for you. I don't know about you, but I didn't enter a M/s relationship because I wanted to see how well I can tolerate what I don't want. When a Dominant gives me this "if you trusted me enough" crap, well - it's time to move on. I believe trust occurs through experiencing how another acts, not by listening to what they say, unless they are one in the same.

As a submissive being, you may learn to accept what you don't like, but you won't learn to like it. So - the choice is yours. Just don't pretend you don't see what's there. Don't make yourself think that you're lacking in trust or anything else because you can see quite clearly that your partner is interested in something that is already causing you alarm. It has nothing to do with a lack of trust of a lack of submission. At 6 months - well the relationship will only develop in the direction it's presently going. So I'd look very closely at that direction if I were you. I wish you the best.

_____________________________

You can tell who someone really is by how they act

(in reply to hallieB)

Post #: 10

RE: to all the long term experienced sub/slaves. - 10/23/2008 11:04:28 AM

myotherself

Posts: 7157
Joined: 3/9/2006
From: The cold bit of the UK
Status: offline

unless you stated up front that you were happy with poly, then if I were you I'd quite rightly be unhappy with the thought that he's fucking around with other subs. Personally, I believe that when you commit to each other you have a right to expect monogamy unless you've agreed otherwise.

I wouldn't be able to deal with my Dom having sex with others, and I'd rather walk away from that kind of relationship. However I'm not you, so you've just got to decide whether it is something you could accept without losing love and respect for your Dom. I can't offer any advice other than be honest with yourself - listen to that little inner voice and take its advice.

I wish you luck

MoS

_____________________________

There's nowt so queer as folk

(in reply to hallieB)

Post #: 11

RE: to all the long term experienced sub/slaves. - 10/23/2008 11:43:34 AM

RealSub58

Posts: 1073
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: hallieB

I dont think I want a relationship where there is always another that needs him. I am falling in love with Master and he has stated he feels the same about me and would never do anything to hurt me. Is it possible for me to accept this. I have never walked in these shoes before. If there is anyone who has please share with me your experience and how you were able to cope. I dont want to lose him over something stupid. But it is coming down to making a decission, can I change, can I accept? I dont want to just deal with it, I want to accept it or not. I want to be ok with it or move on. I dont want it to be something that I just let happen and pretend like it doesnt. I dont want to cry at night about it. I dont want it to be something he hides from me because he knows I cant deal with it. I dont want it to hurt me anymore. Help me please...........

My Sir has always been the one teaching and helping others with their fantasies. Dom/mes, male and female subs.
But unlike you we do have the sexual component of bdsm.

My question is, why doesnt he and you have that portion in your relationship?
Have you asked him?

I dont mind that my Sir might spend a few months or weeks helping another but when it comes to something hands on, he always uses me on cam to teach another.

Maybe you can bring this type of scenerio up to your Dom?

I have several friends who know he has a fetish that another male sub suck his cock and that I teach that male sub how to do it correctly. This is done on cam for someone who desires this to watch or how to teach a male sub how to suck cock.

I am a woman who doesnt like her pussy licked or sucked or whatever unless done correctly. He teaches male subs, who think they are experts at it that they are not experts.

I have been with Sir over 18 months and I do know that he cares more about me than he does teaching others.

It appears that you have much to discuss, quite frankly, with your Dom. If he is using trust as rationalization or justificatiion for his use of others.... I fail to see how this strengthens your relationship.

Just my thoughts

(in reply to hallieB)

Post #: 12

RE: to all the long term experienced sub/slaves. - 10/23/2008 11:56:16 AM

colouredin

Posts: 4279
Joined: 2/2/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: hallieB

I He says if my trust is strong enough in him I shouldnt have a problem. Is this possible? I dont think I want a relationship where there is always another that needs him

I read these two lines as the most important, the first to me is always a bit of a red flag, the whole prooving your trust thing by jumping hoops makes me worry, its ususally a guilt trip method so that you can be blamed.

The second line is even more telling, you dont think you want this kind of relationship, in fact the whole post implies this very heavily. Therefore its bog all to do with whether you trust him just simply that its not the right kind of relationship to you. You say that he finds training important and wants to involve you, you need first to really talk about what this 'training' is. Make sure you understand what he wants to go on and do. As others have said sex and training arent really hand in hand, secondly you need to find out how involved with these people he will become. Third you need to tell him how you feel. Forth you need to make a decision.

_____________________________

Resident Lime(y) Tart
There would be no gossip without secrets
I don't want to be anything other than what I've been trying to be lately

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ELvfMJoKDAk

(in reply to hallieB)

Post #: 13

RE: to all the long term experienced sub/slaves. - 10/23/2008 12:21:09 PM

knoxSlaveSeeker

Posts: 1
Joined: 9/28/2007
Status: offline

My two cents:
First of all you need to decide your role. Are you submissive or slave? To me a submissive has every right to decide the level of submission., usually by pre-determined set limits. But a slave, by agreeing to enter into slavery has given up all rights. Thats what a slave is. That does not release the Master from the responsibility of careing for the mental and physical wellbeing of his property, but by agreeing to be "property" you should understand that the Masters wishes and desires come first. Now if he is violating some pre-determined limit or agreement that the two of you had whether sub or slave you have the right to be upset.
And dont forget the one right that all of us have regardless of role. And that is the right to decide if we go or stay.

(in reply to RealSub58)

Post #: 14

RE: to all the long term experienced sub/slaves. - 10/23/2008 2:45:20 PM

agirl

Posts: 4530
Joined: 6/14/2004
Status: offline

Six months isn't very long. It's a very new relationship. And your first of this 'nature'.

You've barely got to know him in real terms and are already facing sharing him and his time en masse. What kind of teaching/training does he do and why, specifically? Is it a technique based thing?

I don't see it as a matter of trust but as a matter of what you are comfortable with right now. He's not hidden this from you, it appears that he's been upfront about his desires. 5 yrs down the line you may wonder why you got remotely upset about it. But you don't HAVE 5yrs of built trust; you DO have a lot of * He says*.

You DO have a problem with it. It's affecting you a great deal. No-one can know whether this 'passion' of his will be something you can live with.

He may be a wonderful man, you may have spent your time defining what you both want in the context of being with each other, but talking about these things don't actually make them 'the case'. Talking about them doesn't make them happen, it makes them a possibility.

I also suspect that you know yourself well enough to know that this isn't going to work for you, not here, not right now.

You ''wish there was no need for him to do this''

You ''don't want him to hide it from you''

These are telling remarks and what they say to me (and I could be wrong, it happens) is...

''I don't want him to want this''...and ...''I think he possibly would hide it from me if I displayed my unhappiness''.

There's not the bank of trust there, no matter how much you *feel* for him. I wouldn't consider it a 'stupid' thing to be wrangling with at all, far from it. In terms of this being your 'initiation' into this type of relationship and having not even shared any 'kink' as you put it, I think you're being very wise and understandably upset and confused.

agirl

(in reply to hallieB)

Post #: 15

RE: to all the long term experienced sub/slaves. - 10/23/2008 5:41:54 PM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

Well I'm suspcious because you say it "needs" to be this way- no it really doesn't. It's a choice.

Secondly, it's not about trust. If he really feels that way, then he needs to take some lessons under MY wing so I can tell him some basic info on how to make a poly relationship work in the long term- guilting someone by saying "If you trust me enough" is a sure key to failure and meltdown. The fact that he doesn't know this or chooses to do it anyway is a serious red flag to me.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to agirl)

Post #: 16

RE: to all the long term experienced sub/slaves. - 10/23/2008 8:52:30 PM

antipode

Posts: 1787
Joined: 4/19/2004
Status: offline

I can't help but think this is all in your head - from what you describe he hasn't done anything with anybody - although I have to add that "training on the internet" is just as much one-on-one as the R/T equivalent.

But between your mention of loving him, and mentioning your hurt, it seems to me you're piling on the pressure. On yourself, on him.... You come across as someone with clear aims and goals, without obtaining consensus on those aims and goals. Do you make him say things like "(You) would always be first and no one will take (your) place."? That means manipulation, and manipulation will destroy the relationship.

(in reply to hallieB)

Post #: 17

RE: to all the long term experienced sub/slaves. - 10/23/2008 9:20:03 PM

hallieB

Posts: 63
Joined: 5/7/2008
Status: offline

I want to thank everyone for taking the time to give a reply to my post. I feel I do need to clarify on one point I mentioned in my original post. My Masters training of other sub/slaves does not consist of him f**king them. It was explained to me that traing consist of anything that a sub needs to learn. It could be self control, bondage, flogging, learning to be more sensual. Over coming fears and jealousy. How to obey a Master. How to please a Master. I cant mention much more than that because I dont know myself. I never ment for it to be taken as if he is going out and f**king someone to train them. He has promised me he would never do that. I guess my fears come from insecurities as many of you pointed out to me. Master has explained to me what it is and I am the one with the problem accepting it. Maybe I am afraid of being replaced. Maybe she will be prettier than me more pleasing to his eyes. Or more submissive than I am. He hates stress maybe she will be less stressful to him than I am. Just maybe he will form a bond with her stronger than ours. Insecurities, how do you control them? He is a good Man, I feel it in my heart, if I didnt I wouldnt waste my time with him. Good men are hard to come by and I want to make this work.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Post #: 18

RE: to all the long term experienced sub/slaves. - 10/24/2008 2:35:53 AM

KatyLied

Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline

quote:

Maybe I am afraid of being replaced. Maybe she will be prettier than me more pleasing to his eyes. Or more submissive than I am.

You can't spend your relationship having those sorts of concerns. Either you do your best to be pleasing or find a dominant who is more compatible and does not conjure up these fears for you. You also bring a set of qualities and personality to the relationship. Perhaps you will find someone to replace him. Why do you have these fears? Does he have fears that your affections may turn to another?

How does he "train" a sub/slave for another dominant? I've never understood how that works. Many things in "training" are not universally transferrable. But perhaps those sub/slaves he is "training" don't understand this.

_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to hallieB)

Post #: 19

RE: to all the long term experienced sub/slaves. - 10/24/2008 4:25:47 AM

Twicehappy2x

Posts: 1096
Joined: 3/27/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: hallieB

I guess my fears come from insecurities as many of you pointed out to me.

Master has explained to me what it is and I am the one with the problem accepting it.

Good men are hard to come by and I want to make this work.

Sweetie, we all have fears and insecurities. Only you can decide if you can accept this and let go of all the "what ifs" or not.

Personally, no matter how much i love/desire/need some one, if they are going to chose another instead of me then the are not the right one for me. That being said, i am poly and do share within my limits without any jealousy issues at all.

My question is this; if he loves to teach/train, and he told you, as you put it;

"that traing consist of anything that a sub needs to learn. It could be self control, Over coming fears and jealousy".

Then why is he not doing this with you first? Before spending any time training others?

I have to be honest here, i have zero faith in the whole" trainer, online trainer, etc" thing. Personally i believe only the Master you are collared to can train you to suit his needs. Too often i have seen this sort of thing being used as an excuse to play with many subs. This may or may not be so in your case. Only you can judge that.

One more note for you here regarding this statement from another sub;

quote:

In my opinion, it is Your Dom's prerogative, how many He will own or train. i don't believe it's my place or yours to judge if this is right or wrong

In the end, while it is true any dominant can say "i am the Dom, i will decide" just remember, that it is also the sub/slaves choice to say "i cannot accept this" and walk away.

If it is important to both of you then work on it, together. But if no matter what if you still the way you are feeling now, he will have to choose which is more important to him.

_____________________________

The human heart is not a finite container but an ever expanding universe with all the stars contained there in.

(in reply to hallieB)

Post #: 20

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All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Submissive >> to all the long term experienced sub/slaves.

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