Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

Mixed feelings...


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Submissive >> Mixed feelings... Page: [1] 2   next >   >>
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
Mixed feelings... - 12/12/2005 3:19:54 PM   
Sardaxia


Posts: 54
Joined: 10/22/2005
Status: offline 		I have a good question..I'm a male submissive and feel I could totally submit to any Dominant Female if the situation was right with feelings of trust, loyalty & total sexual arousal. Yet the feelings I have towards male dominants (I wouldn't even give them a capital d!) is totally opposite..ie, I would feel in no way sexual but very aggressive and competative towards a male even to the point of violence towards them! I can never understand cucolding...for me that is going over the edge of humilation but I respect people are different. I guess these feelings of mine date back to the cave man days!

What I'm trying to say in my cack-handed way is how many subs out there feel much disrespect for their opposite (ie dominant) of the same sex? I'm certain I'm wrong but I like to think they are just lazy, ego-massaging, lacking in a certain department maybe typical blokes. Also, I find the idea of female submissives a big turn off. I am very interested in the psychology of it all. I don't mean to offend anyone please take this post with pinch of salt. I love this place, some very intelligent and interesting people here (yes male doms included) .

< Message edited by Sardaxia -- 12/12/2005 3:21:01 PM >
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Mixed feelings... - 12/12/2005 3:30:14 PM   
slavejali


Posts: 2918
Status: offline 		ok i'll be game and going along with the humor of your post.

From my perspective, all women need to be beaten, even if they dont realise it *grin*.
All male subs need to be locked in a basement and not fed till they see the error of their ways. hehe


kind regards
slave *very female* jali
xxxx

< Message edited by slavejali -- 12/12/2005 3:32:16 PM >

(in reply to Sardaxia)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Mixed feelings... - 12/12/2005 3:32:30 PM   
IrishMist


Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

What I'm trying to say in my cack-handed way is how many subs out there feel much disrespect for their opposite (ie dominant) of the same sex?


None, I respect everyone, no matter what their orientation or gender is.

quote:

Also, I find the idea of female submissives a big turn off.


May I ask WHAT exactly is a turn off for you here? What is it about female subs/slaves that turns you off?

quote:

I don't mean to offend anyone please take this post with pinch of salt.


And none was taken :)

(in reply to Sardaxia)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Mixed feelings... - 12/12/2005 3:39:07 PM   
slavejali


Posts: 2918
Status: offline 		This is my serious reply: (groan)

Maybe its not disrespect you are feeling for the opposite Dominant but just a lack of ability to relate, or maybe its a part of yourself you hate and dont wont to face up to so you project that out..who knows?

There is no reason to feel disrespect for other people who are living a different way than you unless there is something going on inside you thats not comfortable and sitting right.

(in reply to IrishMist)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Mixed feelings... - 12/12/2005 4:30:36 PM   
Sardaxia


Posts: 54
Joined: 10/22/2005
Status: offline 		Thanks for the great replies & glad no offence was taken! I think you have a valid point slavejali, I think the thought of me being a male dominant is horrendous to me & that would reflect on my view of those that actually are. As for the female submissive comment (it's just occurred to me who I'm talking too ) i mean no disrespect but its just i like to see women as the Dominant ones! Female submissiveness is not so much a 'turn-off' as is the servitude towards a male doninant. If it was towards a female Dominant it would not effect me so (I'm treading dangerous ground here!..)


Generally I don't have a problem with anyone except ones that beat people up non consensually etc,,,
I just found the subject interesting. I have utmost respect for both IrishMist and yourself slavejali & not just because you are women (although...hehe)

(in reply to slavejali)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Mixed feelings... - 12/12/2005 4:48:50 PM   
slavejali


Posts: 2918
Status: offline 		maybe im strange, although i cant understand how the heck a male could submit to a woman i actually bond better with male slaves than female slaves on a friendship basis...so my respect is there for them that way.

(in reply to Sardaxia)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Mixed feelings... - 12/12/2005 5:14:06 PM   
veronicaofML


Posts: 1317
Joined: 11/19/2005
From: from iowa..now in wisconsin
Status: offline 		disrespect? no.
i know of several male Doms i'd give the shirt off my back to.
some of whom i'd take a bullet for.
2 whom are close friends.

sexual? aw hell no.
i am not bi..nor gay.

but that doesn't end my friendship.

no-----------there is no disrespect in MY heart for male Doms.

i know some female Dommes that need a good wake up call......
i know of 1 male Dom i'd like to kick his butt for......

but no disrespect.

take care


< Message edited by veronicaofML -- 12/12/2005 5:15:11 PM >

_____________________________

drugs sex and rock n roll,...drugs are good and so is the rock n roll, sex is over rated"
=============
"go straight to hell, do not pass go and do not collect $200"



(in reply to Sardaxia)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Mixed feelings... - 12/12/2005 5:39:54 PM   
onceburned


Posts: 2117
Joined: 1/4/2005
From: Iowa
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: slavejali
i actually bond better with male slaves than female slaves on a friendship basis.


I'd say this was true for me as well. I find it easy to relax and kid around with female subs - we are just having fun together, and there is a knowledge that nothing will come of it.

I find that male doms tend to be a bit more standoff-ish. But then so do other male subs. I think the male anxiety about (or fear of) homosexuality has something to do with it.

But I give respect to all, valuing our mutual roles as equal.

(in reply to slavejali)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Mixed feelings... - 12/12/2005 5:42:36 PM   
williebdenied


Posts: 7
Joined: 11/23/2005
From: Southern California
Status: offline 		I can sort of see what Sardaxia is saying, though I don't classify it as disrespect, really, just that i do not harbor the same feelings toward those of the same sex as I do the opposite.

For example, let's say in a theoretical play situation, if the Mistress were to command me to perform some task - I would comply without pause. But if a male Dom were to come up to me and attempt the same thing with me he would be met with complete defiance - not disrespect - I just would not feel the same toward his authority (which is none over me).

Now, if Mistress had a death grip on my balls and ordered me to comply, then...that's a different story. But without the Female in charge of me - forget it.

(in reply to Sardaxia)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Mixed feelings... - 12/12/2005 6:24:30 PM   
mantis65


Posts: 456
Joined: 12/27/2004
Status: offline 		I sometimes clash with male Doms (but not always mostly the online types). I get along great with fem subs and have a lot of fem sub friends as well as male sub friends. We tend to understand each other better I think sharing the same feeling towards submission.
I also find with Dommes I need to have a lot of similar interests outside if BDSM or the chemistry wont work.

You may have a side of you that is dominate or sadistic that you don’t want to deal with but I think you are just feeling how most men feel.
I think men no matter how submissive or Domiant are competitive toward each other when dealing with the opposite sex.

It is strange you are so emotional to the point of anger about male Doms there maybe a “darkside” of yourself your not wanting to face. I am a submissive and could never Dom a woman for an extend period of time but I do have a sadistic streak in me and I will find pleasure in watching in watching a female being dominated by either sex.

Most of my BDSM friends no matter their orientation I always thought of as people first so I have Dom friends that don’t share my interests.
We just don’t talk about Femdom.
I have also met subs of both sexes that I didn’t care for so I just stopped associating with them.
Maybe you have met one person or a group that left a very bad impression on you?

(in reply to williebdenied)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Mixed feelings... - 12/12/2005 10:11:51 PM   
IrishMist


Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

As for the female submissive comment (it's just occurred to me who I'm talking too )


LOL......

quote:

mean no disrespect but its just i like to see women as the Dominant ones! Female submissiveness is not so much a 'turn-off' as is the servitude towards a male doninant. If it was towards a female Dominant it would not effect me so (I'm treading dangerous ground here!..)


No disrespect was taken on my part, but thankyou for clarifying that statement. LOL. And no, you are not treading on dangerous ground...your comments were actually made very lighthearted, and in a most humorous way.

Maybe you view female submissives from the angle being that; you worship women, and women should worship women? Or am I way off the mark here lol?

(in reply to Sardaxia)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Mixed feelings... - 12/12/2005 10:29:19 PM   
WulfMan


Posts: 115
Status: offline 		although I have no agression towards Male Doms. I can understand your agression towards the same sex that is trying to dominate you, it is only a natural reaction to your agressive male instincts. We as males are naturally violent and agressive and there are just same things that will set you off. I offset my agression by martial arts and boxing, my fiance/Mistress brings over some Male Doms every now and again for dinner, of course she doesn't make me serve them and we are considered on equal ground there I do sense abit of, thinking of superiority over me, which I blow off, considering they don't know me or what I have done.

As far as Female subs go, maybe it's your competive nature, but I get along very well with them.

(in reply to IrishMist)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Mixed feelings... - 12/13/2005 12:08:38 AM   
Sardaxia


Posts: 54
Joined: 10/22/2005
Status: offline
quote:

Maybe you view female submissives from the angle being that; you worship women, and women should worship women? Or am I way off the mark here lol?


yeah, that is it I think!!
I love the friendliness here..thankyou once again for all your comments.

< Message edited by Sardaxia -- 12/13/2005 12:10:40 AM >

(in reply to WulfMan)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Mixed feelings... - 12/13/2005 2:34:42 PM   
Sardaxia


Posts: 54
Joined: 10/22/2005
Status: offline 		I think my different attitudes toward males & females generally can be a little naive and simplistic, which is only made worse by just watching the news or reading a paper. Perhaps I'm just yearning for a Female dominated world to eventually evolve (like Elise Suttons ideology)!

I suppose it could all stem back from childhood but I won't get into that here! Thinkinf about it, funny how the guys I know as friends, family, work colleagues are all great people...I think I just have an over defensive paranoia or something.

Oh well, c'est la vie ...

(in reply to Sardaxia)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Mixed feelings... - 12/13/2005 6:14:31 PM   
passingglance


Posts: 4
Joined: 10/16/2005
Status: offline
quote:

What I'm trying to say in my cack-handed way is how many subs out there feel much disrespect for their opposite (ie dominant) of the same sex?


Nah - Perhaps not the same lust but I certainly dont dislike male doms. Hell, I'd even probably play with them but am not interested in anything serious.

quote:

Also, I find the idea of female submissives a big turn off.


Using Women is quite fun, but I do prefer being used by them..

(in reply to Sardaxia)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Mixed feelings... - 12/14/2005 3:43:18 AM   
plantlady64


Posts: 755
Joined: 5/19/2005
Status: offline 		Hello There,
I am not attracted to my same sex. When I've played with a Domme it was not even remotely as sexy to me as when I play with a man. Maybe that's the difference for you too. When I play with someone from the opposite sex I am very erotically stimulated. When I play with a girl it's more like OK so your doing such and such and it's not reaching me on the same emotional level.
Maybe that's your problem too.
Sincerely,
sub suzanne

(in reply to Sardaxia)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Mixed feelings... - 12/14/2005 4:49:48 AM   
Sardaxia


Posts: 54
Joined: 10/22/2005
Status: offline 		Perhaps suzanne, i feel the same way as you but I wouldn't view it as a problem so i relly should stop whining and get on with my life! It is interesting to see peoples viewpoint. I have almost no experience unfortunatly but i guess once you have had, you're a bit cooler about how you see things..

(in reply to plantlady64)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Mixed feelings... - 12/14/2005 7:09:35 AM   
fastlane


Posts: 2159
Joined: 5/26/2005
Status: offline 		Wow, no offense taken, but you sure do throw out sterotypes that are very unflattering.
First off, just coz a Domme turns you on and makes you want to serve vs a male Dom, why and how does that make one lazier than the other?
Will you massage her, make her coffee, draw her bath and not call her lazy, but her opposite gender counterpart lazy? Why the discrepency?
Also, you'r opposite gender counterpart, the female sub, who you speak lowly of. You two are the same, exact people, who serve different gender's, but for the same reason. To feed your submissiveness. So, you categorize yourself in the same terms as when you speak of female submissives.
Lastly, you seem so jealous of male Dominants, to the point you would attack them? Again, why the hostility? An over bearing Dad who abused you? Kids picking on you when you were younger? Unsure of your own feelings of submissiveness?
I'm a Male Dominant who would never talk of hurting anyone on the boards and if I was your Mistress I'd wash your mouth out with soap and whip your ass for a week.
Now, go outside and learn to play nice. We are just people with a heavy dose of kink on these boards, so please stop sterotyping. You hurt my feelings!

< Message edited by fastlane -- 12/14/2005 7:11:39 AM >

_____________________________

Just because it hurts, doesn't necessarily make it a bad thing.

(in reply to Sardaxia)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Mixed feelings... - 12/14/2005 8:12:36 AM   
Sardaxia


Posts: 54
Joined: 10/22/2005
Status: offline 		Sorry fastlane, no offence meant. You actually picked up a point about being picked on as a kid though & as i and my brothers moved around a lot (father in the forces) we were all ways the new kids/outsiders. Maybe that has something to do with being a bit over cautious to the point of defensive, but I'm not going into that here & bore everyone with self analysis. Actually reading your post makes me feel just a little foolish but sometimes those feelings are there so i was curious to others opinions.

So i've met one more of the same gender who seems like a really pleasant person (and a male dom. at that!) It may be a certain characteristic of particular males that riles me and perhaps this has nothing to do with BDSM (the general locker-room mentality that never seems to be real to me) but yes, i shouldn't tar all with that same brush. Sorry for hurting your feelings

slavejali :
quote:

maybe im strange, although i cant understand how the heck a male could submit to a woman i actually bond better with male slaves than female slaves on a friendship basis...so my respect is there for them that way.


Thats a good outlook as well, see i'm being educated here! Thanks again

< Message edited by Sardaxia -- 12/14/2005 8:15:54 AM >

(in reply to fastlane)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Mixed feelings... - 12/22/2005 4:17:09 PM   
Sardaxia


Posts: 54
Joined: 10/22/2005
Status: offline
quote:

Again, why the hostility? An over bearing Dad who abused you? Kids picking on you when you were younger? Unsure of your own feelings of submissiveness?
quote:



Actually, another piece of the 'jigsaw-of-finding-myself' has presented itself as an explantion to this...i was sexually abused by my headmaster at the time (although not as bad as some after i ran away and left school- he was arrested years after for abuse, no way acted on what i claimed at time)

For years i said this was of no consequence and bore no malice to him (Mr.Druce from Sidmouth, Devon UK...now deceased) but thinking about your reply, it seems thats where my mistrust of males stems from & why i feel more comfortable opening up to females. Well there you go..

Happy Christmas all...

(in reply to Sardaxia)
Profile   Post #: 20
Page:   [1] 2   next >   >>
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Submissive >> Mixed feelings... Page: [1] 2   next >   >>
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.096