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Masters rules/orders - 10/23/2008 3:49:08 PM   
littleone35


Posts: 2828
Joined: 2/17/2005
Status: offline 		One of Master rules is that i have to ask him before i use the bathroom.  When we first stasrted out if was a hard rule for me to follow, not that i did not want to ask i just did not always remember.  Yesterday i asked Master and when i got back i said to him"Master remember how hard it was for me to follow that rule at frist now i follow it without having to think about it".

A standing order is that i have to be totally ready for him when he comes over.  He wants me prepared in a certain way for him  At the beginning of our relationship i had to conctrate to remember how he wanted me to prepare, but now i do it without having to comcentrate i know what he wants of me.

I was thinking today that following his orders comes eaisily to me now.  It did not take long at all.  So my question is this how long did it take you before following his rules/orders felt like it was the way things have always been.  Also how long did it take to ask without thinking about it?

Matt's littleone
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RE: Masters rules/orders - 10/23/2008 3:51:09 PM   
faerytattoodgirl


Posts: 5824
Status: offline 		what if he's not there and you have to go pee??? do you call him on phone??? email him??? text him???

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RE: Masters rules/orders - 10/23/2008 3:54:31 PM   
littleone35


Posts: 2828
Joined: 2/17/2005
Status: offline 		Sorry i should have said when he is here with me i have to ask.

Matt's littleone

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RE: Masters rules/orders - 10/23/2008 4:12:54 PM   
laura2161


Posts: 254
Joined: 3/8/2008
From: Duluth, GA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: littleone35

One of Master rules is that i have to ask him before i use the bathroom. 

Matt's littleone


A few years ago I was in a long term relationship (We were local to each other but did not live together) and 1 of his 36 rules was that whenever we were together I had to ask permission to use the restroom. (I should mention right now that I learned rules and micro-managing did not fit for me).

Anyhoo, I struggled with that rule the whole time we were together. Since we didnt live together I was used to going pee when the need came, so when he was there it was 'extremely' difficult for me to ask permission. Plus the fact that 'I' knew he would never deny the request, so it didnt make sense 'to me' to ask permission for something I couldnt possibly control anyway. I mean hell, when you gotta go you gotta go.

I'm glad it works for you :-)




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RE: Masters rules/orders - 10/23/2008 4:16:00 PM   
chamberqueen


Posts: 1597
Joined: 10/25/2007
From: Kalamazoo, MI
Status: offline 		I'm boring.  I learn quickly and follow new rules immediately.  I rarely make a mistake - good thing I don't have a Master that enjoys punishing for mistakes.

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RE: Masters rules/orders - 10/23/2008 5:11:20 PM   
VampiresLair


Posts: 1307
Joined: 9/3/2008
Status: offline 		It all fell into place rather quickly.  I do still forget minor things, once in a blue moon.  That's not what I would classify as disobedience, though.

DV's Fox


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RE: Masters rules/orders - 10/23/2008 5:39:22 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		The length of time is irrelevant.  Some masters do not want a particular order to become automative and easy, ever.

But it's just like anyone being trained in a new habit or way of thing.  If it's not a challenge, it takes about two months for it to become routine.  If it's a challenge, six months is about average.

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RE: Masters rules/orders - 10/23/2008 5:45:43 PM   
tsatske


Posts: 2037
Joined: 3/9/2007
From: Louisville, KY
Status: offline
quote:

what if he's not there and you have to go pee??? do you call him on phone??? email him??? text him???


This is a common question by some who find this act just 'too micromanaging'

I am not attempting to answer for others, but I am sure many others (though not all) approach rational much as we do.

I ask Him if He is about. That means if He is in the garage working and I am at the other end of the house cleaning the bathroom, I just pee. But if he is nearby, I ask. If we are in vanilla company or out somewhere, I either don't ask or modify it so that it won't draw attention.

I ask to sit on the furnituer - provided we are in the same room and we are alone.

I ask permission to put on clothes - when we are together. If I don't get dressed before he leaves for work, well, an hour later when I must leave for work, no, I do not go to work naked. I just get dressed.

If we are going out together, I come to him fully dressed to get his approval of my selections. (then go back, and come back again, three or four times, till he is happy with what I am wearing...)

There is some rational thought that can be used here, you know...

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~Dr. Seuss quote

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RE: Masters rules/orders - 10/23/2008 5:55:16 PM   
lronitulstahp


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Joined: 10/17/2007
Status: offline
quote:

Plus the fact that 'I' knew he would never deny the request, so it didnt make sense 'to me' to ask permission for something I couldnt possibly control anyway. I mean hell, when you gotta go you gotta go.

I'm glad it works for you :-)


i've actually had the request denied a few times....trust me, it teaches one something about timing.  It also helps me focus.  i'm not sure if those are just incidental results, or the purpose.  But what i enjoy, is knowing He doesn't do much without a reason; whether  or not i am privy to the motive.

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RE: Masters rules/orders - 10/23/2008 5:56:12 PM   
KatyLied


Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline
quote:


This is a common question by some who find this act just 'too micromanaging'


I see it as more authority-driven than it is micromanaging.


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RE: Masters rules/orders - 10/23/2008 7:46:30 PM   
sambamanslilgirl


Posts: 10926
Joined: 2/5/2007
From: Chicago, IL
Status: offline 		fast reply

i've met a dominant from here who had many rules which he wanted me to follow such as asking permission to chat with him online to telling him what i'll be wearing for the day ...and this was before submitting to him.

some might enjoy this type of micro-managed/authoritative control ...i know i don't which is why Daddy and i get along perfectly. just because He doesn't instill strict rules for me to follow doesn't mean He's less domly.

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RE: Masters rules/orders - 10/23/2008 7:57:06 PM   
tsatske


Posts: 2037
Joined: 3/9/2007
From: Louisville, KY
Status: offline 		No, Sambasgirl, it doesn't.
It means He has engenered His relationships to get what He wants - which is what a Dom should do, right?

It means you and He sound like a good fit.

That's all. ignore/block/and delete anyone stupid enough to try to judge YOUR dynamic based on THEIR ideal.

_____________________________

“If you never did you should. These things are fun and fun is good”
~Dr. Seuss quote

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RE: Masters rules/orders - 10/23/2008 8:27:06 PM   
NuevaVida


Posts: 6707
Joined: 8/5/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: KatyLied

quote:


This is a common question by some who find this act just 'too micromanaging'


I see it as more authority-driven than it is micromanaging.



Yay! This is such a cool (and obvious, although I never thought of it) way of putting it. Rock on.

To the OP, looking back, I can't really remember, actually. But it was true that over time, the rules that were put in place became so second nature that I didn't even think about them anymore. They were simply the way I lived. Keep enjoying the wonderful way things are coming into place!

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RE: Masters rules/orders - 10/24/2008 6:35:46 PM   
ShyAllison1919


Posts: 6
Joined: 10/17/2008
Status: offline 		This thread has been really useful to me in learning what this activity is like in practice.  (I have no experience with it, just an inclination toward it.)  Thank you for the education.

One thing that I've been curious about is the difference between erotic fantasy (such as wanting to have to ask for permission to use the bathroom) and reality (such as actually having to do it).  Is that a difference that exists for most of you?  Or does it conflate into the same thing?

(in reply to NuevaVida)
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RE: Masters rules/orders - 10/24/2008 7:01:56 PM   
lauren0221


Posts: 681
Joined: 8/29/2006
Status: offline 		For me, it's really the relationship that makes it or breaks it. If the dynamic is there, and the Dominant is competent and are not mistaking real life for BDSM fiction (such as expecting to always give bathroom permission, then going away for two weeks without modifying the rule), in my experience anyway, the reality can be just as good as the fantasy.

(Hi Ally)



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RE: Masters rules/orders - 10/24/2008 7:34:06 PM   
hallieB


Posts: 63
Joined: 5/7/2008
Status: offline 		If I had to ask permission to pee or sit on the furniture I would be in big trouble. For me, I think this would take a lifetime to get used to simply because I have never had to do it before. These are some of the things we simply take for granted. I still forget to ask permission for almost everything, things like climbing into bed next to Master or if what I wear is acceptable. I am 41 years old and never had to ask, although I was always willing to accomidate, and sometimes yearned for my vanilla partner to tell me what he would like for me to wear. So my answer would be, it has been 6 months with Master and I still have a hard time following his rules. I can see why he get upset with me.

(in reply to lauren0221)
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RE: Masters rules/orders - 10/24/2008 9:29:38 PM   
BLGirl


Posts: 209
Joined: 10/17/2008
Status: offline 		Some things that Daddy has instructed me to ask for permission to do, have been fun. For instance, when I am at school (finally went back) and someone is flirting with me, I am to text him and ask him if it is okay to flirt back. It is all about training. My tendency is to push boundaries and test limits, at first when I did this, he would spank me, but then he figured out that I was doing it so that he would! Now, if he even thinks that I didn't ask for or tell him something, I get a spanking I don't particularly like. Reverse psychology is not working anymore, dangit!
We don't do the asking to use the bathroom or anything of that nature, but lately, he has started withholding my orgasm until I ask for it. That is hard to get used to... I will refuse to ask (it is my nature), but that just makes him take me there over and over, without letting me go over the edge. He really knows how to punish me. Ha!
We have been together forever and have always had our toes in the proverbial BDSM world, but have just recently taken the life style to the next level, so we are learning as we go. He is having a hard time taking control of everything he thinks he should, so we are taking it one step at a time. Personally, I would love to have him step in and control most everything. It would be nice not to have to think or decide anything for awhile; following orders is easy when they are consistent and you know what is expected.

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RE: Masters rules/orders - 10/25/2008 8:51:57 AM   
tsatske


Posts: 2037
Joined: 3/9/2007
From: Louisville, KY
Status: offline 		There is a big difference is reality and fantasy.
WARNING - COMING PARTS ARE ICKY AND INCLUDE TMI -

for instance, I have IBS. (a gift from my father). Actually, I am on meds which probably do that to me, but, as I tell the doc when she asks me about that, my IBS is already severe enough that the meds could be doing all sorts of things and I wouldn't know the difference.
There is no graceful way I know of to ask to go to the toilet that includes additional information - and unlike your parents back on those long car trips of our childhood, Master does not generally ask for a number.
So, there have been occasions when He said 'no' when I was left standing there trying to decide - should I impart more information? Can I deal with this?
Now, he is a smart man, and being asked again 90 seconds later usually gives him a clue (because I do not generally do that. Usually, if he says no, I wait a half hour or an hour and let him enjoy seeing me squirm. But, there's squiming and theres- something else.)
The reality is always full of these 'real life' spoilers that take away our fun!
Logic is required, too, as I mentioned in a prevoius post. He is out helping a new (potentail) sisterslave to move today. I won't be calling him every hour on the hour to ask if I can please go potty.
In fact, before he left this morning, when we got out of the shower, at the point where I generally say one of several things:
'May I dress?' 'May I stay?' (as in, can I have my shower now), 'May I put on silks?' (a robe) or, sometimes on saturday 'May I go back to bed now?' ( and, yes, occasionally, 'May I stay naked?' that one has never been known to get a no). I said, 'May I put on my robe for a while and ask you if I can dress in a bit? Unless, of course, you leave before I get dressed, then I'll just get dressed without you'. Yes, I really said that. No, he didn't require all that extra info - he knew that - it was morning and we were just exchanging plesentries, talking and joking around. My point is, he knows perfectly well that, everything I ask to do, (well, almost everything) if he is not here, then, barring contridictory instructions, i do without asking him. Welcome to the real world.

_____________________________

“If you never did you should. These things are fun and fun is good”
~Dr. Seuss quote

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RE: Masters rules/orders - 10/25/2008 8:58:33 AM   
DiurnalVampire


Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: littleone35
So my question is this how long did it take you before following his rules/orders felt like it was the way things have always been.  Also how long did it take to ask without thinking about it?

Fox was actually quite at home asking for things well before I made it a necessary part of the relationship. ASking to leave the room, for any reason, was second nature to him becasue it was polite. The fact that it is now required didnt take much transition at all. He also has to ask to leave to use the bathroom, ad things fo that nature, when I am present. Thats the key, he has to ask when I am around. When he is on his own, I expect he can take care of himself. He also asks permission to get himself food and drinks while I am here, permission to turn on and off the lights or the heater/air conditioner, and to prepare my coffee.

He has standing orders for when he is home before me, which he intiated some of them and they simply became part of our routine. Other things, I call ahead before I get home and they are ready and waiting when I arrive.

For us, it never took any "adjusting" time, although when there is a lot going on, like school work and studying and the like he will ocasionally forget to ask becasue is mind is elsewhere. I dont get upset about little things like that, as long as they are not a regular occurance. And I do not always say yes to his requests either, regardless of what they are.

DV

_____________________________

I will be your Dominate if you will be my submit - Fox

Snarko Ergo Sum
If you cannot change your mind, how are you so sure you still have one? -proverb

*Owner of Fox - collared 10/13/07*
VampiresLair

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RE: Masters rules/orders - 10/25/2008 9:27:05 AM   
tsatske


Posts: 2037
Joined: 3/9/2007
From: Louisville, KY
Status: offline
quote:

( and, yes, occasionally, 'May I stay naked?' that one has never been known to get a no).


HA- I take this back. When I am feeling out of sorts and wanting to grump, I sometimes say 'can I stay naked' on work days, and that generally gets a no. I don't know why. You would think a man would be glad his slave wished to remina naked.
He seems to think the parents of the UMs i care for will object. Narrow minded people!

_____________________________

“If you never did you should. These things are fun and fun is good”
~Dr. Seuss quote

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