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RE: Back and Rewind - 12/16/2005 5:12:47 AM

sweetpettjenny

Posts: 674
Joined: 11/7/2004
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Ive learned in 14 years and it finally evolved this year to just be open, tell him even if its something that embarasses you.

(in reply to MHOO314)

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RE: Back and Rewind - 12/16/2005 10:00:11 AM

LadyHibiscus

Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
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Well, Padraig seems to have covered many of my bases!

But, I have learned:

There is nothing wrong with ME. There might not be a fit, but it isn't my fault, or anyone else's.

Liars never change. Only their rationalizations do.

No second chances.

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RE: Back and Rewind - 12/16/2005 3:03:05 PM

BlkTallFullfig

Posts: 5585
Joined: 6/25/2004
Status: offline

quote:

There is nothing wrong with ME. There might not be a fit, but it isn't my fault, or anyone else's.

Liars never change. Only their rationalizations do.

No second chances.

Sounds a little harsh babe! Sometimes people lie about little things for fear of rejection. I don't condone lying, but feel there are degrees of offensiveness, and punishments may need to be different (do you drop him all together, or just smack him for stupidity).

M

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""Touching was, and still is, and will always be, the true revolution" Nikki Giovanni

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)

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RE: Back and Rewind - 12/16/2005 3:19:19 PM

candystripper

Posts: 3486
Joined: 11/1/2005
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quote:

The one thing I have learned.. is to be honest with myself. The more I quit trying to convince myself of something, the more I don't have to convince someone else. Being on Collarme for this short time has helped me be more open and honest about who I really am and want to be. I've had to back track a few times because I've met on line so far a few that seem to think that they can change me to suit them totally. And I've about fell into it a few times. But then I come and read the forums on here, and other sites i've been on and talk to other Dom/Dommes.... and subs... And I find I'm being pulled into someone elses fantasy. And I'm reminded, I am the one who was looking to find one that fits WITH me. Not be pulled into something I really don't want. So far it's looking good... (fingers crossed)

truesub4u

i have learnt -- again --"Men Don't Change".

candystripper

(in reply to truesub4u)

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RE: Back and Rewind - 12/16/2005 3:30:45 PM

KnightofMists

Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline

quote:

What did you learn that you take forward?

That I am never the same person from moment to moment and no one else is either.

quote:

What will you never do again

Try to fix somebody!

quote:

what worked

Being true to myself first and foremost!

quote:

what did you not do that said--ok next time I know better?--

forgot to be true to myself first and foremost!

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Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

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RE: Back and Rewind - 12/16/2005 3:47:26 PM

fldrkhorse

Posts: 158
Joined: 11/5/2005
From: North Carolina
Status: offline

quote:

i have learnt -- again --"Men Don't Change".

Why do we need to? Women take us back anyway.

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I'm not where I need to be, but I'm better than I was yesterday.

Namaste, I honor the divine in you

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RE: Back and Rewind - 12/16/2005 3:49:56 PM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: fldrkhorse
Why do we need to? Women take us back anyway.

It's so wrong how true that is.

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RE: Back and Rewind - 12/16/2005 3:51:01 PM

LadyJulieAnn

Posts: 979
Joined: 6/29/2005
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I've learned, as many have stated here, to be true to myself. I've also learned to find happiness within myself and be accepting of kindness and praise because I deserve it. I will no longer settle for things/people that do not fit my needs and desires. I will also never again assume that I hold a place of importance in someone's life.

Be well,
Julie

(in reply to MHOO314)

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RE: Back and Rewind - 12/16/2005 4:00:57 PM

IrishMist

Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline

quote:

what did you learn that you take forward?

I have learned that I am not perfect...

quote:

What will you never do again,

I will never again forget to tell someone how much they mean to me

quote:

what worked

The brutality of the truth coming from friends

quote:

what did you not do that said--ok next time I know better?--

I refused to let family and friends share in pain

(in reply to MHOO314)

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Post #: 29

RE: Back and Rewind - 12/16/2005 6:20:39 PM

brightspot

Posts: 3052
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I would never become involved again with a lawyer
or someone in law enforcement.

I have been involved with both and learned that most
people of those profressions to varying degrees have problems
with communication and of cutting themselves off from their emotions
and feelings.

I course I am not saying ALL people in these professions have this
problem, but I think many of them do from my experience.
I also don't think it is something that happens to them consciously.
I think it is more their profession that does it to them.

I think that most go into either of these jobs feeling enthusiastic
about helping people, but having to continually not let personal
feelings get involved in their cases, once a case is done, never
look back, having to face horrible real life situations involving death
and murder causes them to get really good at shutting down.
Then unknowingly also bring this block into their personal relationships.

My partner who was a prominant defense attorney could stand up
in front of a packed courtroom in a huge case and communicate with
the jury and usually convince them of her vision of the case.
But in our personal relationship she had the communications skills
of a corpse!

The policewoman was not to far behind her in those skills.
They both aggravated and frustrated the chit out of me, as I need
really good, clear communication in my relationships.

The only time she(lawyer) got anywhere near good communication
was when we were in an argument and she felt she needed to "defend"
herself.

So if I ever were to be looking for a partner again, it would never be
a person working in either of these fields. Two very important lessons
for me.

*Brightspot

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RE: Back and Rewind - 12/16/2005 6:50:44 PM

LadyHibiscus

Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
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quote:

ORIGINAL: BlkTallFullfig

quote:

There is nothing wrong with ME. There might not be a fit, but it isn't my fault, or anyone else's.

Liars never change. Only their rationalizations do.

No second chances.

Sounds a little harsh babe! Sometimes people lie about little things for fear of rejection. I don't condone lying, but feel there are degrees of offensiveness, and punishments may need to be different (do you drop him all together, or just smack him for stupidity). M

Yeah, it's harsh..........and I admit that I am oversensitive to lies after being in a relationship with a pathological liar! But there's a heap of difference between little lies and BIGASS CHICANERY, and it's the big stuff that I just don't get past. "Oh, I didn't want to hurt you" is NOT an excuse for a big lie---to me, a hurtful truth is better than a sugarcoated poison pellet.

:)F

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Post #: 31

RE: Back and Rewind - 12/17/2005 4:10:55 AM

pandoravampire

Posts: 374
Joined: 12/6/2004
Status: offline

i learnt that becoming a well 'educated' sub, made me top from the bottom.
i learnt that we will do things his way, his pace, or no way.
i learnt that begging works best, when you really do need what your begging for.
i learnt patience.
i learnt truly how to communicate honestly, and not 'hold' back to save feelings of either party.
i learnt that im not what most would deem a submissive, but i am exactly what he wishes to dominate.
i learnt that what other think, means jack shit in relation to 'us'
i learnt to trust again.
i learnt to love again.

And id do it all over again, anyday.

(in reply to KatyLied)

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Post #: 32