What does "training" mean to you? (Full Version)

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MasterKeeps -> What does "training" mean to you? (10/26/2008 7:39:29 AM)

A few friends and I are working on opening what  I refer to as a BDSM “sanctuary” for the community. Yea, there will be dungeon party like events, but there will also be socials, perhaps discussion groups; a place to drop in, kvetch, sleep over, or simply “be.”

One goal of mine is to continue along the theme of the “High Protocol Linners” I instituted years ago to provide submissives an opportunity to train in service and subsequently practice through service to the community.

So my question today is this: I hear frequently of submissives who wish to be “trained” or dominants who wish to “train” their submissive. In my experience, these requests have ranged from general service to the community, losing weight, to taking a hard paddling.

My goal with this program is to offer a structured growth in an environment of  complete and caring power exchange (D/s), (generally without the complications of BDSM and sex.)

In theory, what would you hope to get out of such “training?” What do you see as wanting in your submission (aside, perhaps, from a dom.)



BRNaughtyAngel -> RE: What does "training" mean to you? (10/26/2008 8:21:53 AM)

Training someone is a different way of saying that you are getting to know each other, and how that person likes things done.  I could say that He trained me on how He likes His coffee, or how He likes His home cleaned, etc.... or I could just say that I got to know the man I love and serve, and put that information to good use in making His life easier and making Him happy. [;)]

If a service oriented submissive who wasn't owned wanted to be "trained", I could see where certain skills would come in handy if they didn't already have them..... such as say, cooking.  That's just one of many examples of services one can provide to their dominant (unless you're Holly and then it might be better to know the number to the pizza delivery guy [:D]).

But beyond the practical and specialized types of skills one might learn that could come in handy, training a submissive is a very individual and personal thing.  I could go to the Happy Slave School and learn all sorts of stuff, but it won't teach me how to please or serve MY dominant.  Only He can do that.  And in our world, high protocol dinners are beer and grilled steaks with friends, soooo.  LOL!




kiwisub12 -> RE: What does "training" mean to you? (10/26/2008 8:24:14 AM)

Training to me relates to the toilet - as in , toilet training for children.

As an adult, i want to learn what pleases my Sir - and when he told me, i remembered. End of training.
As for the rest - my Sir and i played and we learned together what we enjoyed or didn't. No amount of "training" would replace what direct interaction with the two of us accomplished.

In my (humble[8|]) opinion, "training" is a euphemism for play and sex. Maybe it makes people feel less as if they are having fun, and more like they are actually learning something they might need. I'm guessing that the dom gets a feeling of superiority out of it - apart from the sexual charge. [:)]



kiwisub12 -> RE: What does "training" mean to you? (10/26/2008 8:25:58 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: BRNaughtyAngel

.  And in our world, high protocol dinners are beer and grilled steaks with friends, soooo.  LOL!






Ohhhhhh   -  steak!!!!!!!!      *drools at the thought  -   and has to mop keyboard*



GabrielleSlave -> RE: What does "training" mean to you? (10/26/2008 8:33:52 AM)

If there is something my Master wants me to do for Him and i have never done it before, He will train me to do it.  i am of the opinion that one Master's fully trained slave, would have another Master starting from scratch.  It is a highly personal thing.  A slave will do something in the way she knows her Master wants it done, because He has told her to do it that way.  Everyone is different and Master's are no exception... 

i personally find the idea of a training school for slaves kind of horny, but i am not sure how it could work in real life sorry... But hey that's just my opinion!

gabrielle



missturbation -> RE: What does "training" mean to you? (10/26/2008 8:39:42 AM)

In my experience no Dom/Master has expected the same things from me. Take kneeling for example,not one person i have served has had me kneel  in the same way.
Recently i have been reading the marketplace series of books and in fantasy a collective of slaves trained in the same way to do things 'by the book' is great. However in reality it would mean being trained to be retrained by ones Dom / Master.



tsatske -> RE: What does "training" mean to you? (10/26/2008 8:48:16 AM)

People are always saying there is NO value to 'general' training, but I just don't think that is true. I think we say that because we are afraid it will fire up the 'one twue way' crowd, and that is a valid fear.
But, really - you used kneeling as an example. So every Master has had you kneel in a different way? Okay - but, you have to admit, kneeling is very demanding, physically. If you had practiced before you became owned until you could kneel for hours - then changing the exact kneeling position would still be an easier transition on you.
It like - Africans sit at their most relaxed, for hours at a time, in a positions most Americans can't maintain for 30 seconds. To Americans, it is an 'unnatural' position. This is not a racial difference - America has all races - it is a cultural one. Africans grow up used to squating and it is comfortalbe for them.
With practice, Americans can grow used to squating. My sister was a resteraunt manager for years and years. The rules to calming an unhappy customer - first, learn to squat. Pulling up a chair is 'too friendly', when they are not in a friendly mood. Standing over them is going to set off unconcise fight endorphins and make them more pissed. Squat, get on eye level, then say, 'what can i do to fix this'. So she can squat. good thiing for her, since her church actively travels within Africa, and knowing how to sit and relax with people helps take the edge off socially.
But I can see the value of general training. I can also see that many of us already to it. We go to conventions, or look for mentours, because we desire to learn a certain skill. Then we bring it back to Master, and, chances are, He fine tunes it.
At our last convention, Master attended a class on 'accepting service', while I was off doing a group meditation with subbies. He said the presenter opened the class, using underwear as an example. What is the right way to fold underwear? However Master likes it.
I love polishing Master's boots. (okay, I just love Master's boots). I told Master, if we attend an event with a boot blacking class - I am SO taking it. obviously it would be more fun to do them while he was still in them.
And if i come back and there are things I learned he doesn't like? I'm still ahead, - just have to adjust a few things.



colouredin -> RE: What does "training" mean to you? (10/26/2008 8:57:28 AM)

Fr

I hate the term training when in a relationship. I actually think general training is a far better use of the term.I think you can be trained protocol (kneeling etc) as well as to improve your pain threshold etc. Within a relationship i dont like the term, I dont see a realtionship in a student mentor way, i think both are students.

Personally i dont think you can train D/s i think you can train BDSM the D/s aspect changes from relationship to relationship, what one Dominant wants another may not, however the generic protocol stuff is interesting to learn even without it being involved in a relationship.



RainydayNE -> RE: What does "training" mean to you? (10/26/2008 9:04:41 AM)

i think general training would be useful like tsatske said
to me, it's a whole bunch of stuff. learning to do things he likes the way he likes, learning to do things you're not used to or don't have experience with, blah blah blah



peppermint -> RE: What does "training" mean to you? (10/26/2008 9:14:15 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: kiwisub12

Training to me relates to the toilet - as in , toilet training for children.

As an adult, i want to learn what pleases my Sir - and when he told me, i remembered. End of training.
As for the rest - my Sir and i played and we learned together what we enjoyed or didn't. No amount of "training" would replace what direct interaction with the two of us accomplished.

In my (humble[8|]) opinion, "training" is a euphemism for play and sex. Maybe it makes people feel less as if they are having fun, and more like they are actually learning something they might need. I'm guessing that the dom gets a feeling of superiority out of it - apart from the sexual charge. [:)]


This is great, kiwisub12!!! 



sambamanslilgirl -> RE: What does "training" mean to you? (10/26/2008 9:25:45 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterKeeps

In theory, what would you hope to get out of such “training?”

nothing - it would have no real value for me and usuage for Daddy.



missturbation -> RE: What does "training" mean to you? (10/26/2008 9:47:35 AM)

quote:

People are always saying there is NO value to 'general' training, but I just don't think that is true.

I didn't state there was no value in it. Hell i'd jump at a chance to go to a training academy.
 
quote:

But, really - you used kneeling as an example. So every Master has had you kneel in a different way? Okay - but, you have to admit, kneeling is very demanding, physically. If you had practiced before you became owned until you could kneel for hours - then changing the exact kneeling position would still be an easier transition on you.

Honestly, no. I have never had a problem with holding a position for great lengths of time.
 
quote:

I hate the term training when in a relationship. I actually think general training is a far better use of the term.

The difference is?
 
quote:

to me, it's a whole bunch of stuff. learning to do things he likes the way he likes, learning to do things you're not used to or don't have experience with, blah blah blah

Agreed. However in a training academy you are not necessarily going to be shown the way your Dom likes things and may have to go home and retrain the way Master desires things.
 



RainydayNE -> RE: What does "training" mean to you? (10/26/2008 10:13:13 AM)

oh i know that. that's why i said that i thought general training would be useful like tsatske said. i don't think you have to entirely re-train. you just tweak what you know.
instead of starting on the ground floor to go up to the 10th, like she says with her squatting endurance story, you start on like, the 3rd or 4th. you have a general framework to start with. i don't think there's anything wrong with that
if you're already exposed to or somewhat good at cooking, leaving tomatoes out of food if that's what he likes isn't a big deal.
or like with a math class =p you have one teacher who doesn't care if you show your work, then you have one who DEMANDS that you show your work. it's not a big deal, because you're already "generally trained" in math.

note: not saying that i think it's 100% necessary, i'm still new to this. i just don't automatically think it's a bad idea either.



LuckyAlbatross -> RE: What does "training" mean to you? (10/26/2008 10:51:07 AM)

Most people in Ds completely suck at training/behavior modification/long term goal setting.  They have no concept of the foundations of such things and no motivation or understanding of how to shape them well for the future.

But they like how it sounds- specially ones who want to make each stage of a relationship sound cooler.  Training for me never stops, it's not a "stage" of a relationship, it flows constantly within the relationship.

For me, training is focused change in behavior and thought processes over time.

http://www.collarchat.com/m_788826/mpage_1/key_training/tm.htm#788974
training, what is it?

http://www.collarchat.com/m_722607/mpage_1/key_training/tm.htm#722635
submissive training

http://www.collarchat.com/m_629136/mpage_1/key_training/tm.htm#629145
slave training?

http://www.collarchat.com/m_583697/mpage_1/key_training/tm.htm#583741
Training

http://www.collarchat.com/m_583084/mpage_1/key_training/tm.htm#583098
On training

http://www.collarchat.com/m_503499/mpage_1/key_training/tm.htm#503734
training collar

http://www.collarchat.com/m_124898/mpage_1/key_collar/tm.htm#124898
Wearing training collar in public

http://www.collarchat.com/m_81449/mpage_1/key_collar/tm.htm#81449
What are the collar types/levels please?

http://www.collarchat.com/m_70392/mpage_1/key_collar/tm.htm#70392
Collars and collaring

http://www.collarchat.com/m_59686/mpage_1/key_collar/tm.htm#59686
Color of collars?

http://www.collarchat.com/m_428/mpage_1/key_collar/tm.htm#428
What is your definition of a training collar?

http://www.collarchat.com/m_402/mpage_1/key_collar/tm.htm#402
Multiple collars or single collar?

http://www.collarchat.com/m_450097/mpage_1/key_training/tm.htm#450103
types of training





servantheart -> RE: What does "training" mean to you? (10/26/2008 11:03:54 AM)

For me, training means learning and doing what my Master wants.



juliaoceania -> RE: What does "training" mean to you? (10/26/2008 11:09:59 AM)

I just responded on this thread with my opinion on this

http://www.collarchat.com/fb.asp?m=2232557



KatyLied -> RE: What does "training" mean to you? (10/26/2008 11:59:29 AM)

quote:

I instituted years ago to provide submissives an opportunity to train in service and subsequently practice through service to the community.


I have no interest in anything like this.  Especially practice through service to the community.  I am only interested in "training" if it applies to learning the likes/dislikes of a dominant with whom I've entered a continuing relationship.  Otherwise, no thanks.



VonneCat -> RE: What does "training" mean to you? (10/26/2008 4:12:16 PM)

The term training, should apply to Doms with novice subs who are introducing their partner to the lifestyle. I really don't think that it should last much longer than teaching that person the tools of the trade. (IE: this is a ball gag, it goes in your mouth, ect) Training ought to be genuinely educational. Training some one to do what you like in a consistant manner can only happen after that stage, and IMHO is really just scene play.



chamberqueen -> RE: What does "training" mean to you? (10/26/2008 4:15:50 PM)

In my own relationship my Master has trained me to know what most pleases him.  However, I have been used as a general trainer for many others, both tops and bottoms.

The general categories that I feel are very useful for someone new include the principles of trust and open communication, how to be safe during a first meeting, things to carry with you in case of emergency, a general show of respect, and an overall explanation of some of the most common terms.  I had to laugh when a sub I was training told me how much she loves to tell people to "scat" and I explained the other meaning behind it.  I have also helped people to put together their profiles, choose their likes and dislikes, etc.  These types of training are often most useful to someone just coming into the lifestyle who have no partner yet. 

In person I have done training with wax play and light bondage to get someone used to it before a regular session.  I have also helped sissies to learn to become more feminine. 

There are many, many areas where people can use training.  If you are planning on doing it in a group session maybe you can pass around suggestions and have people choose their top three that they are interested in and have a write in spot for others.  It may be that many are interested in the same thing.



LuckyAlbatross -> RE: What does "training" mean to you? (10/26/2008 5:35:03 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: VonneCat
The term training, should apply to Doms with novice subs who are introducing their partner to the lifestyle. I really don't think that it should last much longer than teaching that person the tools of the trade. (IE: this is a ball gag, it goes in your mouth, ect) Training ought to be genuinely educational. Training some one to do what you like in a consistant manner can only happen after that stage, and IMHO is really just scene play.

So doms never need training in behavior or thought processes?

So you think that training my partner to become someone who reviews the positive as well as the negative aspects of a situation, to feel confident in asserting himself and to say no when necessary, to stop his guilt before it consumes and paralyzes him and stop taking on the burdens of the world has nothing to do with "training"?



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