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RE: Learning to be who I am - a slave - 10/26/2008 3:01:06 PM

Irished

Posts: 19
Joined: 8/4/2008
Status: offline

thanks Mistress - what other sites would you recommend?

(in reply to Usako)

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Post #: 21

RE: Learning to be who I am - a slave - 10/26/2008 4:02:32 PM

beeble

Posts: 799
Joined: 5/25/2005
From: UK
Status: offline

quote:

Irished wrote: I have travelled expensively

That wins typo of the week and it's only Sunday.

beeble

(in reply to Irished)

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Post #: 22

RE: Learning to be who I am - a slave - 10/26/2008 4:03:00 PM

Usako

Posts: 697
Joined: 7/29/2006
From: NYC
Status: offline

alt.com
bondage.com
fetlife.com (though it seems to be down at the moment)
subsfordommes.com
femdommesociety.com (this one I'm iffy about...it seems unbalanced.)

(in reply to Irished)

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Post #: 23

RE: Learning to be who I am - a slave - 10/26/2008 4:18:20 PM

Blaakmaan

Posts: 374
Joined: 5/21/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Venatrix

quote:

ORIGINAL: Irished

Hi Venatrix,

thanks so much for the encouragement. I will try. Its just difficult to be emailing when no one replies. I guess its my own fault......I often do not reveal everything about myself upfront. Perhaps I should have a standard email describing who I am - but people hate the cut and paste email.
ed

I know. And I'm one of the guilty parties. As I point out in my journal, if someone chooses to write, s/he has to be prepared to wait a long time for an answer. If you get 10-20 emails a day, it doesn't take long for them to add up, and good people often get lost in all the spam. There's nothing wrong with a form letter email, as long as you spend a couple of minutes tweaking it to indicate that you've read the woman's profile and stressing why you think you'd be a good match for *her*.

I'm not trying to pull this thread off track (really, I'm not), but I can't help but comment on my observation that, even in the "alternative" world of BDSM, traditional gender roles seem to predominate. From what I've read, it seems that the Dommes are pretty much inundated by e-mails from male submissives seeking them out, while the Doms "hunt" for female submissives who ordinarily (with exceptions, to be sure) wait patiently to be contacted by the Dom.

It's like alternative universes! Personally, I find that fascinating!

So, Irished, although it won't do you any good, it seems to me that you would be in a MUCH better position to find a dominant if you were a female submissive instead a male.

Good luck, Irished!

(in reply to Venatrix)

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Post #: 24

RE: Learning to be who I am - a slave - 10/26/2008 4:25:04 PM

Venatrix

Posts: 2238
Joined: 11/28/2007
Status: offline

Yep, it's good to be queen. I do occasionally write to submissive men if I find them intriguing enough, so it isn't entirely just lying back and waiting for the world to beat a path to my door.

(in reply to Blaakmaan)

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Post #: 25

RE: Learning to be who I am - a slave - 10/26/2008 4:56:18 PM

thetammyjo

Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Irished

Hi Venatrix,

thanks so much for the encouragement. I will try. Its just difficult to be emailing when no one replies. I guess its my own fault......I often do not reveal everything about myself upfront. Perhaps I should have a standard email describing who I am - but people hate the cut and paste email.
ed

What you need to do is give up the fantasy that you will find someone online only and expand your opportunities to meet folks, to learn, and to grow. Get offline and into meatlife. You can stay on here and talk in the forums and things like that but honestly the number of people who find partners, casual or long-term, online compared to offline seems very small to me.

_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to Irished)

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Post #: 26

RE: Learning to be who I am - a slave - 10/26/2008 4:58:14 PM

thetammyjo

Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Irished

Hi there Ferns,

I did attend that event !!!

I met a domme there and we went for a drink - but she just wanted money in the end - not what I want - I want friendship and to really experience this in a big way - not just a quick 1 hour here and there

Just a note: TES is not an event. It is an organization with at least 8 meetings a month, that's just the in theater/building meetings, that doesn't count the play parties, special events, and community gatherings. When I lived in NYC we could have gone to 2-3 TES meetings or occasions every single week.

You have to keep going.

_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to Irished)

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Post #: 27

RE: Learning to be who I am - a slave - 10/26/2008 8:12:16 PM

LadyHibiscus

Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Blaakmaan

I'm not trying to pull this thread off track (really, I'm not), but I can't help but comment on my observation that, even in the "alternative" world of BDSM, traditional gender roles seem to predominate. From what I've read, it seems that the Dommes are pretty much inundated by e-mails from male submissives seeking them out, while the Doms "hunt" for female submissives who ordinarily (with exceptions, to be sure) wait patiently to be contacted by the Dom.

It's like alternative universes! Personally, I find that fascinating!

So, Irished, although it won't do you any good, it seems to me that you would be in a MUCH better position to find a dominant if you were a female submissive instead a male.

Good luck, Irished!

I write to men that interest me all the time, the thing is they have to have a profile with words in it, or post here so that I can have some idea of who they are. Men seemingly write to anyone whose name comes up in red letters.

_____________________________

[page 23 girl]

(in reply to Blaakmaan)

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Post #: 28

RE: Learning to be who I am - a slave - 10/28/2008 2:11:02 PM

lateralist1

Posts: 886
Joined: 11/22/2006
Status: offline

It sounds to me as if you are not ready for your life partner.
So like a lot of subs you are loking for experience with friends.
Although I understand this it doesn't help you to find someone.
A lot of dominants are looking for their life partner so they don't want to play they want to own.
I've always been looking for the 'one' I have thought \I| had found him a number of times but it wasn't to be. Even if he was the 'one' for me. I have to be the 'one' for him as well.
I know I'm not going to find him at my local munch.
And I doubt I will find him in a club even if he is there we wouldn't get to talk in the same way as you can on-line.
Your story is familiar I'm afraid.
Lots of men leave their families for kink and then can't find a partner.
I take the traditional male role in a relationship so why shouldn't I be the one to search for and ask out the sub I think might be right?

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)

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Post #: 29

RE: Learning to be who I am - a slave - 10/30/2008 10:58:44 AM

westlandJeff

Posts: 7
Joined: 4/21/2008
Status: offline

Red, Blue Green it doesnt mater and when writing most men just cut and paste. Hey the shootgun effect got them through highschool why not try it here:)

(in reply to lateralist1)

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Post #: 30