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RE: New to the lifestyle - question about orgasms - 10/29/2008 7:03:56 AM

natasha66

Posts: 321
Joined: 10/14/2006
From: NJ
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i rarely, if ever even come close, and i do know it bothers Him quite a bit sometimes. Me? Honestly i could care less. i feel badly in that He wants it for me, but personally if it happens, great, if not, oh well. As long as His needs are met i am happy.

_____________________________

"If you bother me again I shall visit you in the small hours of the night and put a bat up your nightdress".
~Basil Fawlty

Collared June 4th, 2008
Love is giving him the power to destroy you, but trusting him not to.

(in reply to SimplyMichael)

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RE: New to the lifestyle - question about orgasms - 10/29/2008 7:55:55 AM

DavanKael

Posts: 3072
Joined: 10/6/2007
Status: offline

Rover and Michael--Lovin' the back and forth of your conversation. :>

OP--You mentioned you have free heathcare, so you may as well see a doc. Envious of the free healthcare and if you wish to see a doctor on thematter you definitely should.

Michael mentioned (paraphrasing) someone needing to do more oral work to 'get you there' potentially. I know a lot of women only get off from oral. I'm 33 and never got off from oral until this year (Talented guy..., and I told him so!) so, imo and ime, oral isn't the be all, end all for getting off.

Oh, and I agree, Rover's scenario was kinda hot!
Davan

(in reply to Rover)

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RE: New to the lifestyle - question about orgasms - 10/29/2008 11:04:05 AM

antipode

Posts: 1787
Joined: 4/19/2004
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I love it when you talk dirty.....

(in reply to MsThornRose)

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RE: New to the lifestyle - question about orgasms - 10/29/2008 11:52:53 AM

anamericaninfife

Posts: 12
Joined: 10/7/2008
Status: offline

One of the things that you mentioned in your original post is that you've known about bdsm for some years now, but you just decided that you are a sub. Could it be that part of the reason you've not orgasmed in the past is that there was a mental/psychological aspect missing for you during sex? I know that there are many people on this site, myself included, who have been here before and then left for a vanilla relationship, but then came back after deciding that a D/s dynamic is pretty much something that is mandatory for our particular sexuality. Maybe you need that D/s dynamic to get you to where you need to be, mentally and psychologically, in order to orgasm. They say that the brain is the most important sex organ!!!

(in reply to antipode)

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RE: New to the lifestyle - question about orgasms - 10/30/2008 11:44:17 AM

MasterTslave

Posts: 200
Joined: 8/24/2005
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lucky, i cum when i look at Master-then get punished because i didn't get permission. it will happen, just calm down could have been that you were just not into the other guy?

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

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RE: New to the lifestyle - question about orgasms - 10/30/2008 12:09:58 PM

ProlificNeeds

Posts: 1061
Joined: 5/19/2007
Status: offline

I've always had issues with orgasm, but it's entirely psychological. If the pressure is on and I'm expected to climax, GoodLuck, it probably won't happen unless you feed me drugs. But as soon as the focus is taken off orgasm and I know I'm gonna be in my bindings for awhile or endure whatever it is I'm enduring... it's so easy it's rediculous. The best way I can explain it to my partners is simply, "I have to focus on you." As soon as they try to make me focus on myself or my own pleasure, I'm no longer in happyland, all I can figure out is it's just part of how I'm wired.
Don't feel guilty about it, ever, that only makes it worse. Just mention it to your partner that you work a bit differently and that it's no slight on them. If you're anything like me, once you're adjusted inside the relationship the problem fixes itself.

(in reply to MasterTslave)

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RE: New to the lifestyle - question about orgasms - 11/14/2008 1:07:55 AM

MirrorrirroM

Posts: 35
Joined: 9/5/2008
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I'd have to agree that psychological can be a big component. Trusting someone enough to be able to completely let go and surrender to the person and the experience and...well...quite literally release. I've had a decent (if not a bit embarrasingly on the high end) number of sexual partners in the past few years....but I had NEVER had an orgasm during sex, no hands or mouths, until last night with my Master. It was absolutely incredible. It makes a huge difference having a romantic/sexual partner who actually wants to figure out different things that turn me on and knows how to properly use that knowledge. I don't think most women really can get off just during sex ESPECIALLY if it's just plain sex without any...extras. By extras I mean all those other little turn on spots being stimulated. Kissing during sex, depending on what you like maybe hair pulling, neck biting, choking, maybe just licking or kissing the neck, tweaking nipples...you catch my drift. There is also, I've found, a big difference in my whole mindset when I would have sex with vanilla partners and there wasn't really anything fulfilling emotionally about the experience, versus with a D/s partner where I know that I can completely trust him to be the one in control, that I can try things with him I wouldn't feel safe trying with anyone else, I know he understands that for me pleasure is nothing without some pain to go along with it and he's very willing to help me explore those sensations, and just the simple fact that I feel in general happier, safer, and more cared for with my Master than I ever have in any other relationship. All of those things are factors I feel in what enabled me to finally be able to have that previously elusive orgasm-during-sex.

Plus he's just absolutely amazing in bed XD

Sorry if any of that was an overshare lol
-Bella

(in reply to ProlificNeeds)

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