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RE: Getting what I need from my sub--information - 10/31/2008 12:08:12 PM   
Jeptha


Posts: 780
Joined: 9/18/2008
From: Portland, Oregon
Status: offline 		Those last paragraphs of Whiplashsmile2's reply are along the lines of something I'd be interested in. Not exactly what he laid out there, but I'd be curious...well, just because I am curious, but also to know if I could incorporate her activity somehow into our shared fantasy lives in any fashion, of which he gives just a couple of possible examples.

I'm more tolerant to the online thing (provided she has *some* self-discipline about it, isn't constantly online to the neglect of your relationship, etc.) because I've heard a lot of people say it's just fantasy - like a sort of porn, say, only with a slightly more interactive quality.

I think it offers a lot of opportunity to learn about your wife's fantasy life, desires, inclinations, etc.; but only if she's sharing it with you.

I refer to transparency because, for me, there is a "fear of the unknown" when other people are involved - even if only online, and I want that to be respected. Other people may not have that kind of insecurity, however.

Anyway, it sounds like you two are communicating, and that's good. Remember; even if you are "the dom", it's ok to not know how you feel about something until you've tried it, to make a time in the future when you will both re-assess your experiences together, figure out which directions to explore, on what terms,etc.

(in reply to WhiplashSmile2)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: Getting what I need from my sub--information - 10/31/2008 2:10:40 PM   
ThinkingMan


Posts: 6
Joined: 10/18/2008
Status: offline 		We talked for over 2hrs last night about what we're both insecure about, what's bothering us both, what's actually happening during that online time, and other stuff as well.  It was time well spent.

(in reply to Jeptha)
Profile   Post #: 42
RE: Getting what I need from my sub--information - 10/31/2008 3:42:22 PM   
proudsub


Posts: 6142
Joined: 1/31/2004
From: Washington
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ThinkingMan

We talked for over 2hrs last night about what we're both insecure about, what's bothering us both, what's actually happening during that online time, and other stuff as well.  It was time well spent.

That's terrific!!  Hope it has positive results.

_____________________________

proudsub

"Without goals you become what you were. With goals you become what you wish." .

"You are entitled to your own opinions but not your own facts"--Alan Greenspan


(in reply to ThinkingMan)
Profile   Post #: 43
RE: Getting what I need from my sub--information - 11/5/2008 5:23:51 PM   
Huntertn


Posts: 715
Joined: 10/7/2006
Status: offline 		take it from us all..while online is ok..real life is way the best way to go...and if your behind so what..there is nothing wrong by going online to look things over....but just like watching TV...you have to select whats best for you..and adding others to your mix..well its taking a risk..as you've already seen...

(in reply to tweedydaddy)
Profile   Post #: 44
RE: Getting what I need from my sub--information - 11/5/2008 6:04:58 PM   
BLGirl


Posts: 209
Joined: 10/17/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SailingBum

Yer fucking kidding right?  You have a rl wife who seems more worldly to you in submission,  So you wanna playing online for pratice?  Has the whole world gone crazy or what.  More likely the scenrio is... you were boring her in bed and she "discovered" net sex and got busted.  Your relationship has far more "issues" than boring sex.  SHEESH

BadOne


there are 2 things I want to address 1. If you truly did not care you would not have posted to this thread.  2. I did not ask for your advise.  That being said there is no reason to attack anyone for any reason.  I would have to suggest that you have no inside information into his/her sexual life and have no reason to attack someone and even suggest that there was a online sexual relationship happening.  This might bring some hidden issues in ones own personal life that need resolving.  One might think you sailingbum might need to check your own personal issues before ranting on like a child. 

BLGirl's Daddy (KSR)

(in reply to SailingBum)
Profile   Post #: 45
RE: Getting what I need from my sub--information - 11/6/2008 9:47:19 AM   
angelikaJ


Posts: 8641
Joined: 6/22/2007
Status: offline 		Fast reply:
Instead of seeking online mentors perhaps become involved in your local BDSM community and get to know couples in real life.. and go to events: classes, workshops, demonstrations and munches.



(in reply to tweedydaddy)
Profile   Post #: 46
RE: Getting what I need from my sub--information - 11/6/2008 10:36:08 AM   
ProlificNeeds


Posts: 1061
Joined: 5/19/2007
Status: offline 		Pixels and text do not equate to life experience. The internet CAN be a source of information, both helpful and non.

My suggestion? Both get your asses off the PC, period. Your communication problem is that you try to communicate to the wrong people through the wrong venue. My suggestion to you both would be, forget the online world until you have the real world back in focus.

(in reply to ThinkingMan)
Profile   Post #: 47
RE: Getting what I need from my sub--information - 11/6/2008 2:18:44 PM   
greeneyedreamer


Posts: 442
Joined: 6/20/2007
Status: offline 		I agree that a journal is a good way to communicate. My Dom and I used an online Journal and keep it private. Then He can read and use it to respond to you. A mark of a good dominant is good communication with his submissive. My Angel, always has a review of our activities in the evening when we are done. We talk about how we felt and what was good, not so good, whatever. NEVER judging. It works for us... lot of communication. Can't go wrong!

Dreamer...

_____________________________

Dreamer, owned and ecstatically happy

I am still learning... Michelangelo, age 87

Maybe some women weren't meant to be tamed. Maybe they are suppose to run wild until they find someone just as wild to run with. Sex and the City

(in reply to tweedydaddy)
Profile   Post #: 48
RE: Getting what I need from my sub--information - 11/7/2008 4:32:35 AM   
ThinkingMan


Posts: 6
Joined: 10/18/2008
Status: offline 		Wow, I was really surprised to see this thread come back to life.  Our communication level is once again making progress, and yes, a lot of what's been going on is her interest in things she didn't feel comfortable talking about.  A lot of it has been me asking "do you have and interest in that?"  She's been surprised to find that none of these things has brought about expressions of disgust or negative judgement.  Some of them are things that she admits she would never explore in real life but the fantasy is exciting.  I understand that, there are some things that I feel the same way about.  If we're talking we're fine.  That's how it's always been.

(in reply to greeneyedreamer)
Profile   Post #: 49
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