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love the Master - 3/4/2004 10:29:20 AM

OnlyHis

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Can you love your Master without falling in love with Him? Or do you feel they are one and the same thing?
rose

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RE: love the Master - 3/4/2004 12:45:22 PM

proudsub

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Yes i believe you can love your Master without falling in love. I loved my first r/l Master and loved all that we did together but never fell in love with him. However he did fall in love with me which caused us some problems since i am also married. When we had to end the relationship he would not let go for a very long time and stalked me online and called me at home. Fortunately he moved away or he probably would of stalked me at home too. Hope that is helpful onlyhis.
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RE: love the Master - 3/5/2004 11:41:39 AM

sweetieboop

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I think it's possible for you to love a Master without being in love with him just as much as you can love a person and not be "in love" with them in a vanilla relationship. However, I believe that over time you grow to be in love with someone that you love. I have another question though. I was told by someone once that a Master/slave relationship is not possible if the Master is in love with the slave. The logic was that if a Master loves his slave it will be difficult for him/her to give discipline because he/she would be too afraid of hurting the sub/slave. I personally don't agree with this theory. What do you think?

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RE: love the Master - 3/5/2004 1:56:19 PM

iwillserveu

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Different perspective time. Incase you don't know, I'm a guy.

First speaking as a guy I'd like to quote the Who:

It doesn't matter how much you love me
a little is all right

Now as a male sub/slave

I could sub non-emotionally, but I have to "love" my Mistress if I do domestic tasks for her. ("Love" is in quotes because a crush or puppy love will do in a pinch.) Yes, I could kiss a woman without loving her, but changing her motor oil is different.

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RE: love the Master - 3/7/2004 1:52:15 PM

OnlyHis

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sweetibop, IMO i think if the Master is deeply in love with the slave that could cause conflicts. It could cause the Master to be lenient with the slave. Which for a lot of slaves(not all), this is not what they want or need.i am not saying ti does not happen. But with me personally i revel in Msters strictness ( though He does spoil me too at times). It is what i was searching for when i met Him.
Take care and be well
rose

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RE: love the Master - 3/7/2004 7:49:53 PM

EStrict

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I don't really agree Only. I can (and did) serve without being *in love*. But I have no doubt Master loves me deeply. I would be more concerned if he did not feel a deep love for a women he has lived with for years that tries to make his world as perfect as she can. It is human nature to love.

What makes our relationship work is the simple fact that we are secure in it. He knows that punishing me won't cause him to lose me, and I know that just because he may decide to spoil me for a few hours here or there, it will not change the fact that if I *expect* it, I will be reminded of the realities of our dynamics. He has no jealousy, nor do I. We both know how we compliment each other. It is amazing to me how often vanilla friends say they envy our relationship. That is because, quite simply, they can see we love each other. And as for the rest of our relationship.. it works well for us,,,

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RE: love the Master - 3/8/2004 3:10:01 PM

sweetieboop

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Sandy,
I have read a lot of your posts and I have to say that I am envious of you too. :)

quote:

I was told by someone once that a Master/slave relationship is not possible if the Master is in love with the slave. The logic was that if a Master loves his slave it will be difficult for him/her to give discipline because he/she would be too afraid of hurting the sub/slave.

I just wanted to correct that last statement. It should say, "The logic was that if a Master loves his/her slave it will be difficult for him/her to give discipline because it would hurt him/her too much to give pain (physical or emotional) to his/her sub/slave."

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RE: love the Master - 3/8/2004 4:03:47 PM

sub4hire

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quote:

ORIGINAL: sweetieboop

I just wanted to correct that last statement. It should say, "The logic was that if a Master loves his/her slave it will be difficult for him/her to give discipline because it would hurt him/her too much to give pain (physical or emotional) to his/her sub/slave."

If you subscribe to that logic. That would mean all slaves need severe discipline. In my learning. Submissives and slaves alike should'nt always need that severe of discipline. I know punishments hurt my Dominant as well. Yet, I don't fear if I really messed up he would'nt punish me if need be.
Is'nt the whole idea of being a Dominant meaning they are strong? Not little weenies who can't take pain?

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RE: love the Master - 3/8/2004 5:18:56 PM

EStrict

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quote:

Is'nt the whole idea of being a Dominant meaning they are strong? Not little weenies who can't take pain?

Honestly, I believe that true in all aspects of life. Though I am Master's slave, I am also, in reality, the dominant in Race's life. Even as a slave, if I didn't discipline him just because I loved him, I wouldn't be able to complain if and when be became a holy hellion. Instead I have an adorable 20 month old that listens very well, undertands that misbehaving leads to punishment, and loves me nonetheless for it.

::Laughing:: and I have many *childlike* qualities I am told. And love Master all the more because he loves me enough to punish me rather than letting me *get away* with things.

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RE: love the Master - 3/8/2004 8:11:21 PM

tweetygirl

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If I am in a relationship there has to be love. A power exhcange relationship demands even more love. I want her to love me and for me to love her.

Amanda

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RE: love the Master - 3/21/2004 9:51:53 PM

MistressKiss

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I definitely agree...you can love anyone without being IN LOVE with him or her. I am a person who believes in displaying love and sharing it as often as possible. That doesn't mean I am seeing hearts and flowers, but it does mean love is present.

What the world needs now, is love...grins

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RE: love the Master - 2/27/2009 10:08:20 PM

NockieVixx

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IMO, the love is required.
I don't think I could have trusted Him enough, given my entire self over to Him to have complete control over, if I hadn't LOVED Him first.

I know my Master loves me, though not to the degree that he loves his Wifey. They've got the vanilla love, the love that makes Him comfortable and secure. We have the cinnamon love that adds spice and interest to an otherwise dull existence. He feeds the same need in my life. Without the deep love that my Master and I share, I doubt our relationship would be as deep and meaningful as it has been for the both of us.

I think His love for me is what allows him to treat me as He does. I would think, after years of being His, if He were to not treat me as He has in the past, I would wonder if it was time to give back my collar.

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RE: love the Master - 2/27/2009 11:10:08 PM

devotedinSD

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quote:

ORIGINAL: sweetieboop

I think it's possible for you to love a Master without being in love with him just as much as you can love a person and not be "in love" with them in a vanilla relationship. However, I believe that over time you grow to be in love with someone that you love. I have another question though. I was told by someone once that a Master/slave relationship is not possible if the Master is in love with the slave. The logic was that if a Master loves his slave it will be difficult for him/her to give discipline because he/she would be too afraid of hurting the sub/slave. I personally don't agree with this theory. What do you think?

I think that's crap. My previous Master loved me, badly I might add, but it only made him more sadistic.

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RE: love the Master - 2/28/2009 5:22:04 AM

Strangegrrl

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Background: I'm happily married, but have a Mentor who helps me learn about my sub side.

In my *very* limited experience, I have found that when I am with Him, I feel nothing more than love for Him. I love Him so I want to please Him. I want to show Him how much I love Him, so I do what He asks of me. If I did not love Him, I don't think I would be able to do certain things with Him, breath play for one.

I am not, however, *in* love with Him. I reserve that feeling for my husband. In my world, being *in* love with someone means making a life-long commitment to them, to stand beside them in all cases, to choose them over all others. My Dom and I understand that I have reserved that for my husband, and that the role He fulfills in my life is that of a Mentor.

I think there can be a very clear-cut difference between loving someone and being "in love" with someone. I am a young woman, and I love a wide variety of people, from my closest girlfriend to my husband's best male friend. Would I say I'm *in* love with them? Definitely not. I love my dogs like they are my own children, but I am not *in* love with them. I would imagine the same theory can be applied to one's children.

Naturally, just the ramblings of a humble, shy girl... :-)

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RE: love the Master - 2/28/2009 5:38:02 AM

sweetnurseBBW

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There are many types of love and not all have to do with being inlove. I can love someone but not be inlove. I love many different people in many different ways.

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RE: love the Master - 2/28/2009 6:37:13 AM

littlewonder

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I love lots of people but I am not in love with them...my family and friends

But for me personally I need to be in love and love my Master but then again I'm one of the ones seeking a long term committed relationship..not a friendship type of thing with a dom or something casual.

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RE: love the Master - 2/28/2009 2:53:15 PM

DesFIP

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Some can, some can enter into M/s without any love, and some can't. It isn't important what the rest of us do as this is your relationship. Do you need to be in love with him and know he is in love with you too? Or are you fine without that?

I need it, I need to know I am not the only one risking vulnerability and emotional hurt. YMMV.

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RE: love the Master - 2/28/2009 5:43:49 PM

whiteslavebitch

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quote:

ORIGINAL: sweetieboop

I think it's possible for you to love a Master without being in love with him just as much as you can love a person and not be "in love" with them in a vanilla relationship. However, I believe that over time you grow to be in love with someone that you love. I have another question though. I was told by someone once that a Master/slave relationship is not possible if the Master is in love with the slave. The logic was that if a Master loves his slave it will be difficult for him/her to give discipline because he/she would be too afraid of hurting the sub/slave. I personally don't agree with this theory. What do you think?

I don't agree with the premise that a master necessarily will have difficulty with discipline if he love his slave. Some might have that problem, but MasterK has no trouble disciplining me when necessary (only once in 3 1/2 years), and I know that he loves me.

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RE: love the Master - 2/28/2009 6:31:33 PM

chamberqueen

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It is very possible to love someone and not be romantically in love. That person may seem like the most important person in your life but that doesn't mean that romance needs to be involved.

Some people can't, or don't want to, draw a line between the two. Yes, if often hurts a top to punish their bottom because they truly care about them and don't want to see them hurt. At the same time the whole reason for the punishment is to teach a lesson so that the unwanted behavior does not occur again. This is a show of love in itself; instead of letting things slide and possibly ruin the relationship the punishment is dealt out.

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RE: love the Master - 2/28/2009 7:29:07 PM

DesFIP

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And some of us don't have a punishment dynamic. We seek to please because we love the other person, and because we are obedient type people who live best when someone else holds the reins.

I've seen horses freak out when there are noises in the hay loft over their heads, yet when you take a firm hold on their halter, they settle down. They don't need to be beaten for being afraid, just led firmly and given soft words and an apple.

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