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Purging emotional pain through physical pain? - 12/14/2005 3:33:39 PM

SweetSarijane

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From: KC area Missouri
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I am in very deep emotional pain at this time due to a recent occurrence. I'm not a pain slut, never considered myself to be one, but now, the depth of the emotional pain seems to have triggered something in me, planted a seed which has grown into a need and outright craving to be paddled or flogged as a way to purge the emotional pain through physical pain.

Quite frankly it is so strong at this point...the need...the craving...that if I knew and trusted someone well enough, I would ask them to do this for me.....flog or paddle me until I reach my limit if not beyond such. Drown the emotional pain in physical pain to the point of being beyond thought of it, of anything save the physical.

As I have sat here thinking on this, hurting more and more, I wonder if this is right...wanting, needing, craving this. To me it does seem right, even necessary, for me to get through this...deal with it and begin to move forward.

So my question is, are there others of you that feel this way? Do you need physical pain to whatever degree to help purge strong emotional pain? If so, does it work at all? Does it help you get through it?

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Sarah2
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RE: Purging emotional pain through physical pain? - 12/14/2005 3:57:42 PM

fyreredsub

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yes, i have sought to be released of emotional pain through physical pain.......to find comfort in the tears that the physical pain brought on..........

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RE: Purging emotional pain through physical pain? - 12/14/2005 4:06:01 PM

nephandi

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From: Cold and magickal Norway in a town near Bergen!
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Well physical pain is clensing, spiritual it clenses the body and mind and can help that way. In adition, i often feel the need for physical pain becouse if i had a physical pain to fear and cry over, the emotional pain of depression would sort of seam less, i ahve not tried to treat depression this way yet, but i imagine it might work.

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RE: Purging emotional pain through physical pain? - 12/14/2005 4:07:11 PM

IrishMist

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quote:

So my question is, are there others of you that feel this way? Do you need physical pain to whatever degree to help purge strong emotional pain? If so, does it work at all? Does it help you get through it?

I am a pain junkie; I love pain, I crave it, I yearn for it. But I have not used it as a way of purging emotional pain. At least, not the kind that you are speaking of.

From the sounds of it, you are not developing masochistic tendencies, but rather looking for physical pain to replace the emotional for awhile. And while that sounds good, in the long run it will not help you to get through the emotional upheaval. In a sense, all you are doing is hiding from it. You can find release in physical pain, but first you NEED to come to terms with the emotional.

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RE: Purging emotional pain through physical pain? - 12/14/2005 4:17:33 PM

nephandi

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i agree, but i also think that somtimes, to be able to get a respite, a few days away from the emotional stress, can make it more easy to deal whit, if one can get it a bit at a distance.

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RE: Purging emotional pain through physical pain? - 12/14/2005 4:20:20 PM

IrishMist

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quote:

ORIGINAL: nephandi

i agree, but i also think that somtimes, to be able to get a respite, a few days away from the emotional stress, can make it more easy to deal whit, if one can get it a bit at a distance.

Yes, I will not disagree with you on that, sometimes a 'break away' is needed, as long as it does not become something that just 'replaces' the original...you will still have to go back and face the emotional once the pain has subsided.

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RE: Purging emotional pain through physical pain? - 12/14/2005 4:24:14 PM

nephandi

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that i agree, to bury emotional trubble, no matter if you bury it whit pain or somthing else have a tendency to dig itself out of its grave and eat away at your brain like a first rate zombie. But to dull that emotional pain unthil you are ready to deal whit it can be a good idea.

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RE: Purging emotional pain through physical pain? - 12/14/2005 4:42:47 PM

SweetSarijane

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From: KC area Missouri
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quote:

ORIGINAL: IrishMist

I am a pain junkie; I love pain, I crave it, I yearn for it. But I have not used it as a way of purging emotional pain. At least, not the kind that you are speaking of.

From the sounds of it, you are not developing masochistic tendencies, but rather looking for physical pain to replace the emotional for awhile. And while that sounds good, in the long run it will not help you to get through the emotional upheaval. In a sense, all you are doing is hiding from it. You can find release in physical pain, but first you NEED to come to terms with the emotional.

I'm not worried really about developing masochistic tendencies. I am mildly masochistic, just not to the point of wanting what I'm wanting/craving now. Yes I know it won't cure it and I don't expect it to. I can't hide from it and have it magically disappear. I'm no stranger to emotional pain and I know I have to work through it and deal with it and I will.

As I said, there is no one who can inflict the physical pain on me at this time, otherwise I would do so, but not with the thought or belief that it would make it all better, just that maybe being able to escape it for awhile...have a break from it would help me. I will get through this. I'm a tough lady. I know I will. I just hurt very deeply right now and it feels so overwhelming. I want an escape, temporary, I know.

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Wild Side Readers KCSass

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RE: Purging emotional pain through physical pain? - 12/14/2005 4:46:03 PM

IrishMist

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Well, I know its small comfort but...if you ever want to let it all out...drop me a line. I am not stranger to raw emotions, and I know how badly they can hurt.

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RE: Purging emotional pain through physical pain? - 12/14/2005 4:46:29 PM

SweetSarijane

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quote:

ORIGINAL: fyreredsub

yes, i have sought to be released of emotional pain through physical pain.......to find comfort in the tears that the physical pain brought on..........

Has it helped you......given you a break...a chance to regroup and deal with it better?

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Sarah2
Deviant Mind
Wild Side Readers KCSass

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RE: Purging emotional pain through physical pain? - 12/14/2005 4:54:00 PM

SweetSarijane

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From: KC area Missouri
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quote:

ORIGINAL: nephandi

i agree, but i also think that somtimes, to be able to get a respite, a few days away from the emotional stress, can make it more easy to deal whit, if one can get it a bit at a distance.

Thank you..........yes, that is what is in my mind.......a break....a chance to regroup.....gain strength to be able to fight through this.

_____________________________

Sarah2
Deviant Mind
Wild Side Readers KCSass

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RE: Purging emotional pain through physical pain? - 12/14/2005 5:01:01 PM

vonzott

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From: San Diego, CA
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On a few occasions in my life, I have sought the kind of physical pain you do. Raw, nasty, screaming emotional pain cannot be avoided by having someone lovingly turn your backside into hamburger, but - as a few others have said here - you can use the physical pain to defer the emotional pain until you're more ready to deal with it.

There are two things that seem advantagous to dealing with your inner pain in this manner:

1. Setting aside the emotional paid until such time as YOU choose to deal with it,; and
2. Developing the inner strength to deal with the emotional pain by learning, if you will, how to deal with the physical pain.

No, there is no way to avoid the inner pain, but the outer pain my give you what you need to give that inner pain less dominion over your soul.

(Wow... that was really heavy, you know? I, um, normally don't get that deep. Wonder if it was the cold pizza for lunch?)

_____________________________

vonzott
proud slave to Domina Angelina

- so many Dominant Women, none as wonderful as She

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RE: Purging emotional pain through physical pain? - 12/14/2005 5:19:01 PM

SweetSarijane

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From: KC area Missouri
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quote:

ORIGINAL: IrishMist

Well, I know its small comfort but...if you ever want to let it all out...drop me a line. I am not stranger to raw emotions, and I know how badly they can hurt.

Thank you IrishMist. I greatly appreciate that. I will very likely do so. I know I need to let it out.

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Sarah2
Deviant Mind
Wild Side Readers KCSass

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RE: Purging emotional pain through physical pain? - 12/14/2005 5:24:25 PM

Tine11

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Joined: 11/5/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: vonzott

On a few occasions in my life, I have sought the kind of physical pain you do. Raw, nasty, screaming emotional pain cannot be avoided by having someone lovingly turn your backside into hamburger, but - as a few others have said here - you can use the physical pain to defer the emotional pain until you're more ready to deal with it.

There are two things that seem advantagous to dealing with your inner pain in this manner:

1. Setting aside the emotional paid until such time as YOU choose to deal with it,; and
2. Developing the inner strength to deal with the emotional pain by learning, if you will, how to deal with the physical pain.

No, there is no way to avoid the inner pain, but the outer pain my give you what you need to give that inner pain less dominion over your soul.

(Wow... that was really heavy, you know? I, um, normally don't get that deep. Wonder if it was the cold pizza for lunch?)

yes it is deep, i like. though i will warn you, realveing emoution by physical pain alone will not solve it all. I am strugling with that now. I would sugest finding a better rout to do it iliek writing, taking a hot bath, drinking a hot cup of tea, running. Something but the physical pain can become addicting

_____________________________

The world is like a shinning diamond.
The way it gitters if you polish it right.
If the light should turn and leave you blinded.
Take the dream and give it one more try.

Soulburn, Masterplan

(in reply to vonzott)

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RE: Purging emotional pain through physical pain? - 12/14/2005 5:35:14 PM

SweetSarijane

Posts: 3788
Joined: 10/7/2005
From: KC area Missouri
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quote:

ORIGINAL: vonzott

On a few occasions in my life, I have sought the kind of physical pain you do. Raw, nasty, screaming emotional pain cannot be avoided by having someone lovingly turn your backside into hamburger, but - as a few others have said here - you can use the physical pain to defer the emotional pain until you're more ready to deal with it.

There are two things that seem advantagous to dealing with your inner pain in this manner:

1. Setting aside the emotional paid until such time as YOU choose to deal with it,; and
2. Developing the inner strength to deal with the emotional pain by learning, if you will, how to deal with the physical pain.

No, there is no way to avoid the inner pain, but the outer pain my give you what you need to give that inner pain less dominion over your soul.

Very well put........that's what I need....to set it aside...regroup...gain needed strength to deal with it.

(Wow... that was really heavy, you know? I, um, normally don't get that deep. Wonder if it was the cold pizza for lunch?)

lol....cold pizza has never done that for me before.......now chocolate has............

_____________________________

Sarah2
Deviant Mind
Wild Side Readers KCSass

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RE: Purging emotional pain through physical pain? - 12/14/2005 5:39:56 PM

kyraofMists

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I have yet to use play to purge emotional pain, but I do use it to freely express emotions in a way that would otherwise be unacceptable to my Lord. I have a very short temper. Over the years I have learned to keep a tight leash on it and learned different ways to constructively express it. One of my favorite ways was kickboxing. If I got really angry and needed an outlet, I would spend an hour at a kickboxing class and come away tired but more at peace. Then I was able to constructively deal with the issue that caused the anger.

Now I use play to do that. My Lord encourages those he plays with to be completely open and free. If something enters our mind we are to say it or do it, no thinking and no analyzing, just pure reaction. It took me some time to trust that I could be so free and open during play. Most times I am very conscious of my behaviors and words and to learn to stop doing that during play was difficult. I remember the first time that I got really, really angry during play. It was the first time my Lord did kicking play with me. He kicked me on the ass and the feeling was just pure anger. That night I didn’t do much about it except give him some really nasty looks. A few nights later he has me cuffed to cross and takes this short sword and smacks me on the ass with the flat of it. There was an instant primal rage and reaction. I kicked him. He just laughs and says, “Oh, so that’s how you want to play”, snatches off his boots and kicks the hell out of me, with me getting in a few good shots every now and then.

To this date that is the best play my Lord and I have had and there have been some really good ones. Afterwards, I was so light-hearted and full of energy. It took a long time to calm down for sleep.

Play is a way for me to openly express emotions that I would otherwise be reserved about, anger and tears most especially. Then there are the plays that I just laugh my ass off through (those usually involve clothespins). I think as long as you use it productively, play can be useful in dealing with emotions. Once the emotions are out of the way, then you can deal with the heart of the problem. Many think that the emotions are the core of the problem, but our emotions are just products of our thoughts. Getting past the emotions to see the thoughts that are generating them is tough. If you can find a safe outlet to purge the emotions and then be able to clearly see the thoughts driving them, I say that is very productive.

Knight's kyra

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"Passion... it lies in all of us. Sleeping, waiting, and though unbidden, it will stir, open its jaws, and howl. It speaks to us, guides us... passion rules us all. And we obey..." ~Angelus

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RE: Purging emotional pain through physical pain? - 12/14/2005 5:46:19 PM

SweetSarijane

Posts: 3788
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From: KC area Missouri
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Tine11

yes it is deep, i like. though i will warn you, realveing emoution by physical pain alone will not solve it all. I am strugling with that now. I would sugest finding a better rout to do it iliek writing, taking a hot bath, drinking a hot cup of tea, running. Something but the physical pain can become addicting

I am writing about it in my journal, in my blogs, talking with good friends, I did an extra heavy workout at the gym today, I've cried myself sick, read books I enjoy to get my mind off of it for a bit........I'm trying so hard to deal with it.....I've thought about it, tried to rationalize the feelings....I'm basically a mess at this point, albeit a functioning mess. I know the physical pain can be very addictive...I already am addicted to a mild level of pain, have been for awhile.

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Sarah2
Deviant Mind
Wild Side Readers KCSass

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RE: Purging emotional pain through physical pain? - 12/14/2005 6:19:34 PM

liltxsubby

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From: TX
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Like you, I don't consider myself to be masochistic. There have been a few times when I have asked Fangs (who is admittedly sadistic) for a pain session to offer myself some relief. It scared the crap out of me the first time I asked for it. Here I was, asking him to make me cry and thinking to myself "WTF am I crazy"?
I think, for me anyway, it gets me to release emations that I usually keep bottled up inside. As has been said before, it doesn't fix things completely but I sure feel at least a lot less tense afterwards.

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RE: Purging emotional pain through physical pain? - 12/14/2005 6:24:35 PM

girl4you2

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i hope that things are better for you now. deep emotional hurt and pain as a rule cannot be purged by physical pain. it sounds like you could use a good friend's hug more than a whip. i do wish you well.

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got shoes?

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RE: Purging emotional pain through physical pain? - 12/14/2005 6:52:17 PM

WulfMan

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I know exactly what you're going through. I've been through alot durning my life and seen alot of horible things, People getting ripped to shreds by bullets and such, A bad childhood. I took the mental pain and took the phyisical pain. I boxed alot and everytime I got hit it felt like a small release and in turn every muscle burn felt good. Every athlete and pain addict in a sense are running from something. Yes it helps to a degree, but sorry to say it doesn't solve the problem. The best releif I ever had was sitting down and just talking with someone a good friend, a thereapist. I will admit before I got help I've never truely cried since I was 14, but whith all the support I cried like baby and I had people to hold me, tell me everything was gonna be alright. Look to your friends, look to those you love, your family, some professional help always works too. It hurts bad I know, somethings I just sit down and think and my heart gets heavy, but that's when I turn to friends, and my future wife.
Get help the phyisical pain is a small releif but not a total one.

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