RE: Purging emotional pain through physical pain?

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sub4mistressnsir -> RE: Purging emotional pain through physical pain? (12/15/2005 9:32:55 AM)
quote: So my question is, are there others of you that feel this way? Do you need physical pain to whatever degree to help purge strong emotional pain? If so, does it work at all? Does it help you get through it? SweetSarijane.. Although I can not say that it will help you to do this.. here is my experience.. My grandmother recently past away.. emotionally I was a mess.. I couldn't cry at all even though I knew I needed to. 2 weeks went by and I finally begged my Mistress n Sir to whip/flog me til I cried... They did so for my emotional health.. I ended up crying for about 2 hours, in thier arms, after it was all said and done.. I think it all comes down to trust.. they knew I loathe to cry.. they knew I needed to so they did and then helped me through it. I trusted them to keep me safe and they did. My thoughts are with you! ~ sub

nephandi -> RE: Purging emotional pain through physical pain? (12/15/2005 10:00:52 AM)
Somtimes to cry is the best medecine one can use, and if physical pain is what one need to make that happen then by all means do, i think it is heathy.

LadyCompassion -> RE: Purging emotional pain through physical pain? (12/15/2005 1:03:29 PM)
quote: So my question is, are there others of you that feel this way? Do you need physical pain to whatever degree to help purge strong emotional pain? If so, does it work at all? Does it help you get through it? I know I am a bit late in the post and many people have replied to you so far, but I felt that I should add my .02 also. I used to use physical pain to help me ease the emotional hurt that I felt. The pain on the outside sometimes helps us release the pain that is deep inside. But never, ever, allow yourself to become addicted to the pain and rely on it totally to ease your emotional pain. It becomes a nasty burden and something that you will have to fix later on. Sometimes it is better to deal with things now rather than later. Once I learned this I realized that physical pain is an excellent way to rid yourself of stress...so long as it is not a crutch for you and as long as you know how to deal with things without the pain there to help.

windy135 -> RE: Purging emotional pain through physical pain? (12/15/2005 1:21:10 PM)
I'm pretty new to the scene and have had one experience like this. I was very stressed with school and I played very iintensely with a friend of mine. I never cry in front of people I despise it. The pain was so intense I bawled, my friend even stopped and made sure I remembered my safe word. If felt good to let out that emotional stress I was feeling. I do understand what you are saying.

SweetSarijane -> RE: Purging emotional pain through physical pain? (12/15/2005 6:10:19 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: sub4mistressnsir SweetSarijane.. Although I can not say that it will help you to do this.. here is my experience.. My grandmother recently past away.. emotionally I was a mess.. I couldn't cry at all even though I knew I needed to. 2 weeks went by and I finally begged my Mistress n Sir to whip/flog me til I cried... They did so for my emotional health.. I ended up crying for about 2 hours, in thier arms, after it was all said and done.. I think it all comes down to trust.. they knew I loathe to cry.. they knew I needed to so they did and then helped me through it. I trusted them to keep me safe and they did. My thoughts are with you! ~ sub I thank you and offer my sympathy for your loss.

theRose4U -> RE: Purging emotional pain through physical pain? (12/15/2005 6:12:34 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: fyreredsub yes, i have sought to be released of emotional pain through physical pain.......to find comfort in the tears that the physical pain brought on.......... Has it helped you......given you a break...a chance to regroup and deal with it better? If things like yoga and journaling aren't helping I would think about the following that has helped me in working with my boy. Buy 2- 1 gallon sized Gatorade or other liquid with a secure handle. You can drink the juice or whatever and re-use the container with an equal amount of water if you like. I usually set an egg timer as you don't want to initally go for more than a few minutes doing this. Kneel with one bottle on either side of you. While keeping a straight back raise the bottles while keeping both arms at a 90 degree angle to your body. Your body from a distance will almost form a Z. Do not lean back on your heels & this is going to be heavy. Once you have the bottle up maintain even breathing and repeat the following over and over: I take this pain into my body and release the pain of my mind. Be prepared for a mini emotional collapse if your stress is extremely high...falling over and sobbing in release is not uncommon. You are in control of the length of time but realize that the greater the physical strain the easier it is for your mind to shift from the emotional. This has worked for us and is something that can be done solo. I would recommend having a nest or quiet comfortable space readily available and a reliable friend to talk to if you try this alone. Usual caviats apply: if you're medically infirm or psychologically under treatment do not try this at home.

SweetSarijane -> RE: Purging emotional pain through physical pain? (12/15/2005 6:18:18 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyCompassion I know I am a bit late in the post and many people have replied to you so far, but I felt that I should add my .02 also. I used to use physical pain to help me ease the emotional hurt that I felt. The pain on the outside sometimes helps us release the pain that is deep inside. But never, ever, allow yourself to become addicted to the pain and rely on it totally to ease your emotional pain. It becomes a nasty burden and something that you will have to fix later on. Sometimes it is better to deal with things now rather than later. Once I learned this I realized that physical pain is an excellent way to rid yourself of stress...so long as it is not a crutch for you and as long as you know how to deal with things without the pain there to help. I've yet to experience the use of physical pain to deal with emotional pain. It quite took me by surprise to begin wanting it. As I've thought about it, I've wondered, if I could manage to find someone to do this for me, if it would be the start of an addiction to it in terms of dealing with emotional pain. I have my ways of dealing with and getting through emotional pain like this, I'm no stranger to it, but never has it crossed my mind before this particular occurance to use physical pain to deal with it in some way.

IrishMist -> RE: Purging emotional pain through physical pain? (12/15/2005 6:22:10 PM)
I don't know SweetSarijane, I still hold with my original...you seem to be in such emotional distress that I really believe that allowing yourself, for even a short time, to escape through physical pain, will do more harm than good. Just a feeling I get about it /shrug

SweetSarijane -> RE: Purging emotional pain through physical pain? (12/15/2005 6:29:36 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth quote: So my question is, are there others of you that feel this way? yes. but this slave always thought of it as somehow tied to her masochism. quote: Do you need physical pain to whatever degree to help purge strong emotional pain? sometimes. depending on the level of emotions, and the the length of time that has been spent pushing that emotion down instead of truly letting it pass through and out. it has been this slave's experience that releases that "let off steam" and ones that "purge" are distinctly different. quote: If so, does it work at all? like a charm. quote: Does it help you get through it? not just through it, but PAST it. this slave did a lot of mental work and attitude preparation before going through any physical pain that this slave attached an emotional trauma to for purging. another consideration that you might have is you might want/need/feel as if you would like to have heavy aftercare after such an intense release, however, this slave does not wish to have ANY physical contact with anyone for a while after something cathartic. it is a time for deep meditation and reflection for this slave. this slave has witnessed cathartic floggings where the sub needed LOTS and LOTS of aftercare, so this is a subjective thing to keep in mind. this slave would suggest meditation exercises and also look into what is referred to as "cathartic flogging". beth, you have given me a great deal to consider. I did a search on cathartic flogging which brought up an interesting paper on it. I've read through it once and am going to read it more, and even more thoroughly. I want to make sure I didn't miss anything. With your viewpoint on how you are and how others may be afterwards, and what the paper said about afterwards, I'm doing even more deep thinking about this. I tend to think or worry certain things to almost an extreme degree. I really wish I knew someone who could do this for me. I still crave it strongly. I feel I need it. I am however working through it using my usual methods. I know I'll get through it in time. Thank you.

slavejali -> RE: Purging emotional pain through physical pain? (12/15/2005 6:48:04 PM)
A good beating between consenting adults can release all kindsa emotional and mental stress. i think the key tho, is when you start to release not to direct that release to any negative emotion.

SweetSarijane -> RE: Purging emotional pain through physical pain? (12/15/2005 6:56:20 PM)
Thank you for your input and suggestion. It is something to consider, an option, though I'm not sure if it would work for me. I will think on it, weigh it.

SweetSarijane -> RE: Purging emotional pain through physical pain? (12/15/2005 6:59:05 PM)
I too really hate to cry in front of others and fight hard not to.

SweetSarijane -> RE: Purging emotional pain through physical pain? (12/15/2005 7:02:13 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: slavejali A good beating between consenting adults can release all kindsa emotional and mental stress. i think the key tho, is when you start to release not to direct that release to any negative emotion. Now there is a concern....negative emotion......I want physical pain to the point of not being able to think..to only feel/know the immediate physical pain itself.

alandraofMists -> RE: Purging emotional pain through physical pain? (12/16/2005 10:04:46 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SweetSarijane quote: So my question is, are there others of you that feel this way? Do you need physical pain to whatever degree to help purge strong emotional pain? If so, does it work at all? Does it help you get through it? _____________________________ Sarah for myself it isn't just emotional pain, it can also be the accumulation of dealing with daily challenges and frustrations. this is something i wrote a couple of years ago about how i view my subspace. my sub space is real unique to me, and took me a long time to figure out and explain to my Lord and myself. In the beginning when we first started to play, it took me a long time to find it, but even when i had, i could not describe to him what i was seeing. It wasn't till this week that W/we figured out why i see nothing when in sub space, and here is why grins Even before play starts or during the warm up, i take the part of me that is my core (spirit) whatever you wish to call it. This is not my mind, or emotions it is my being my being is what i am, not how He has shaped me or what He has taught me, it is the basis of me and can never be changed, only added to. i move it from my body and my mind, and it seems like i move it deep into the earth where my power base is, this is the base that i draw my strength and patience from to do my daily tasks and help me through my daily life struggles. In this power base there is a waste section that holds all the stresses and bad emotions that have affected my life. During play, my crying, sobbing, and general crying out is me taking out that waste garbage and making room for more power to be put into the base. The power that i am talking about is the power that is given off by the Dom and the sub during play, the power of each strike, and the power that my body makes or absorbs when taking those strikes, some strikes I can only absorb a little and have to push the rest of the power away from me, either it is to strong or not the right type of power needed. So really in a way my body is like a lightening rod for the power to come into, my mind is off watching and sometimes participating grins in the play. my being (core) is at my power base making sure everything is all right there my power base is the safest place that i know of and connecting my body to my power base is this conduit that transfers the power to the base and the waste is let out of it. At this point i have never felt that my power base has very been over filled, but when it is getting to the point of empty, my emotions and my life suffer greatly, i am sad and depressed about my life and my life at times has no meaning or reason. Everything is out of control and i don't have the ability to bring things into focus or straighten them out. i don't know if any one else feels this way about sub space but that is my take on it. my subspace helps me to find balance within my life and myself. it does not always need to be intense play, but i do find that then longer between play sessions or the more stressful a time, the more intense the session has to be to get me to that center of peace and balance. Knight's alandra

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Purging emotional pain through physical pain? (12/16/2005 10:10:33 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: alandraofMists i don't know if any one else feels this way about sub space but that is my take on it. my subspace helps me to find balance within my life and myself It's not how I feel about subspace, but it is how I feel about energy. That was extremely well written and explained, thank you. The way I put it for me is that my energy is like a wellspring. And my wellspring happens to be of sexual energy. If my energy is low, tapping into sexuality is the best way to give me a quick buzz. I masturbate or read sexy stories, and that gives me a bit of extra juice. It's just how my body/self is naturally. It's also why so many of my interactions and processes come through on a sexual level. I'm not always thinking "god I want to fuck him" but more a natural bending of energy towards a sexual nature for me. It is how I express connection with another and how we form a bond together. So for me, tapping into that energy flow, however you do it, is indeed awesome and wonderful.

SweetSarijane -> RE: Purging emotional pain through physical pain? (12/16/2005 4:44:57 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: alandraofMists quote: ORIGINAL: SweetSarijane quote: So my question is, are there others of you that feel this way? Do you need physical pain to whatever degree to help purge strong emotional pain? If so, does it work at all? Does it help you get through it? _____________________________ Sarah for myself it isn't just emotional pain, it can also be the accumulation of dealing with daily challenges and frustrations. this is something i wrote a couple of years ago about how i view my subspace. my sub space is real unique to me, and took me a long time to figure out and explain to my Lord and myself. In the beginning when we first started to play, it took me a long time to find it, but even when i had, i could not describe to him what i was seeing. It wasn't till this week that W/we figured out why i see nothing when in sub space, and here is why grins Even before play starts or during the warm up, i take the part of me that is my core (spirit) whatever you wish to call it. This is not my mind, or emotions it is my being my being is what i am, not how He has shaped me or what He has taught me, it is the basis of me and can never be changed, only added to. i move it from my body and my mind, and it seems like i move it deep into the earth where my power base is, this is the base that i draw my strength and patience from to do my daily tasks and help me through my daily life struggles. In this power base there is a waste section that holds all the stresses and bad emotions that have affected my life. During play, my crying, sobbing, and general crying out is me taking out that waste garbage and making room for more power to be put into the base. The power that i am talking about is the power that is given off by the Dom and the sub during play, the power of each strike, and the power that my body makes or absorbs when taking those strikes, some strikes I can only absorb a little and have to push the rest of the power away from me, either it is to strong or not the right type of power needed. So really in a way my body is like a lightening rod for the power to come into, my mind is off watching and sometimes participating grins in the play. my being (core) is at my power base making sure everything is all right there my power base is the safest place that i know of and connecting my body to my power base is this conduit that transfers the power to the base and the waste is let out of it. At this point i have never felt that my power base has very been over filled, but when it is getting to the point of empty, my emotions and my life suffer greatly, i am sad and depressed about my life and my life at times has no meaning or reason. Everything is out of control and i don't have the ability to bring things into focus or straighten them out. i don't know if any one else feels this way about sub space but that is my take on it. my subspace helps me to find balance within my life and myself. it does not always need to be intense play, but i do find that then longer between play sessions or the more stressful a time, the more intense the session has to be to get me to that center of peace and balance. Knight's alandra That is well written and amazing. Thank you Alandra for sharing that. The subspace I go into is quite different from that in that I basically leave the world behind, have no awareness of anything, save the Dom's voice and command. I become totally, exclusively focused on him. He is in effect my entire universe at that point. Anything I do or say is by his command and wish with no real thought, only pure reaction/response, and I feel like I'm literally floating or flying free. I've only achieved that state a very few times. It's difficult to really describe it clearly.

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