antipode
Posts: 1787
Joined: 4/19/2004 Status: offline
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Gawd, you lot talk about the strangest things now you can't smoke in the pub any more Seriously, you raise an interesting point. What attracted me to BDSM is that, for me at least, it is a negotiated relationship - and that implies goals. I find perfection a bit of a loaded term, because perfection implies there is a standard, and I've learned that, where Humans are concerned, there really aren't hard and fast rules. I see D/s folks with "converted" relationships, though, and this may not apply to them - although I like to think that any kind of D/s "dynamic" does entail more agreement than vanilla does, it stopped being natural when hunter gatherers developed language. I realized a number of years ago that this entire vanilla principle, a relationship solely based on this evaporative quality called "love", is so fluid it is almost doomed to failure. But in my world, yes, a certain level of success has to be attained, I have a nassty habit of firing subs that don't measure up. From my corporate career, I brought into my D/s life that if you do not strive for greatness, an compromise, you doom yourself to mediocrity. I am realistic enough to not call that perfection, though - in a perfect world, there would be smoking pubs, which slowly you can only find in Hong Kong any more. That is why I live in Virginia, still - here, you can have a fag with your pint, for as long as you keep your sidearm holstered.
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