RE: Thoughts on Rape Play?

RE: Thoughts on Rape Play? (Full Version)

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion

Message

FetishRose -> RE: Thoughts on Rape Play? (11/2/2008 3:26:33 PM)
[/quote] It's surprising the number of men who have that fantasy, too. Of course, a woman can't use brute strength to overpower him, so she needs to use a prop, such as knife, to "subdue" him, and . . . and . . . I have to go lie down now. [/quote] Really? I'm not a dominant, and yet I've found very few men that I couldn't overpower by 'brute strength.'

BLGirl -> RE: Thoughts on Rape Play? (11/2/2008 3:39:11 PM)
Rape/Sexual Assault is about control, humiliation, and self-loathing. The individuals that perpetrate these crimes often present themselves as strong and self-assured, but this is often not the case at all. Many feel small, the majority have been victims of sexual assault themselves and spend their lives (unknowingly) trying to regain their power. They do this by taking another's. I know that rape is a sexual crime, but it isn't just a sexual crime. In fact there are statistics showing that there are many perpetrators that aren't even able to maintain an erection or ejaculate during the assault, they will often have used foreign objects to rape the victim when this is the case. When a person is feeling powerless, helpless, and as if life is simply happening to them, they reach out. Some reach to a bottle of whiskey, some abuse their SO, and some sexually abuse. IMHO, sexual assault/rape, is always about control. Which is one of the reasons that I like to play at it. If I am being taken, it means that I am not in control (in the classical sense of course), which can be very appealling to someone who has to be in direct control as a part of their career for instance. Think about it, if I have to handle this persons family issue, this persons legal issue, as well as my own life and that of my household; hell yeah, I need a break, to be completely out of control, not to have to make a choice, a decision. I gladly give that power to Daddy, ultimately, he has the power. He is secure because he knows that he doesn't have to take it from me, I give it to him willingly.

MrHarsh -> RE: Thoughts on Rape Play? (11/2/2008 5:39:55 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: CollaredChicklet ok... I'm a bit different... so i think i will share a bit about my story.... I had been in a relationship a few years ago, just before I had been exploring this lifestyle... I was aware of my submissive nature, and I knew that I had always posessed it. I likes being "taken", as much as possible in the vanilla relationship that I had. I craved it, and I still had my "rape fantasies"... however, the guy that I was with changed... and he became more violent, and forced me to do things (including sex) that I didn't want to. It's odd, because in my own mind, I still "loved" him, but i didnt realize what he was doing till it was too late. I was forced to do things I didnt, and had never wanted to do with him.. It left me hurt, and scarred... I am just now getting over it. I'm pretty sure this will make no sense to you guys, :P and I apologize.. I'm trying to explain as best as I can... But you see, I CRAVED control, I WANTED control... I wanted that strong man to take me . But in that relationship, that kind of "control " was much different... I was hesitant to really get too deep into this lifestyle when I met who is currently my Dom, just because I was scared that that control I had experienced before was the only kind of control... but i found that it is not.. there are different types of control, and it all depends on the goals, wants, needs, fears, desires, and love(or lack of) that is in a relationship. there's so much more to it, than i could ever try to explain... I just, had a different perspective on all of this, and I thought it'd help..... :D I think what many Dom types don't understand (especially when they're younger) is that being a Dom isn't just about control. They tend to think it's all about their needs and their power. In fact, being a Dom is about being responsible. When a sub offers herself into your hands, you now have the burden of looking out for her best interests. The Dom needs to make sure that no harm comes to his sub and that her needs are met as well. (Not unlike caring for a pet). Without the responsibility and caring, it's only about Use and Abuse. Unfortunately, many Doms and subs don't know that at first. Some never learn it at all.

CollaredChicklet -> RE: Thoughts on Rape Play? (11/2/2008 5:49:08 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MrHarsh quote: ORIGINAL: CollaredChicklet ok... I'm a bit different... so i think i will share a bit about my story.... I had been in a relationship a few years ago, just before I had been exploring this lifestyle... I was aware of my submissive nature, and I knew that I had always posessed it. I likes being "taken", as much as possible in the vanilla relationship that I had. I craved it, and I still had my "rape fantasies"... however, the guy that I was with changed... and he became more violent, and forced me to do things (including sex) that I didn't want to. It's odd, because in my own mind, I still "loved" him, but i didnt realize what he was doing till it was too late. I was forced to do things I didnt, and had never wanted to do with him.. It left me hurt, and scarred... I am just now getting over it. I'm pretty sure this will make no sense to you guys, :P and I apologize.. I'm trying to explain as best as I can... But you see, I CRAVED control, I WANTED control... I wanted that strong man to take me . But in that relationship, that kind of "control " was much different... I was hesitant to really get too deep into this lifestyle when I met who is currently my Dom, just because I was scared that that control I had experienced before was the only kind of control... but i found that it is not.. there are different types of control, and it all depends on the goals, wants, needs, fears, desires, and love(or lack of) that is in a relationship. there's so much more to it, than i could ever try to explain... I just, had a different perspective on all of this, and I thought it'd help..... :D I think what many Dom types don't understand (especially when they're younger) is that being a Dom isn't just about control. They tend to think it's all about their needs and their power. In fact, being a Dom is about being responsible. When a sub offers herself into your hands, you now have the burden of looking out for her best interests. The Dom needs to make sure that no harm comes to his sub and that her needs are met as well. (Not unlike caring for a pet). Without the responsibility and caring, it's only about Use and Abuse. Unfortunately, many Doms and subs don't know that at first. Some never learn it at all. at that time i didnt know anything about "doms' or "submissives" .. in that relationship, he was a guy who wanted too much control, and didn't have any control over himself to begin with. urgh, it was awful. But I DO have a Dom now that understands, and looks out for me. I am completely thankful for that.

candystripper -> RE: Thoughts on Rape Play? (11/3/2008 4:40:27 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: BLGirl I absolutely love rape play. The struggle, pain, and eventual humiliation involved, is fabulous and afterward there is a calm like no other. Does anyone else enjoy this type of play, or am I more of a freak than I realize? (Note: Before anyone that has been sexually assaulted gets offended by the aforementioned, let me say that I too have been sexually assaulted. Therefore, no offense is intended.) BLGirl I don't know that I'd say rape play interests me...but force play sure does. The idea of being safe while playing at being at risk like that has some sort of zing that goes right through me. I'd probably do this last of all, as trust built. There's something about it that calls for more trust in me than bondage or other acts. I'm not sure what exactly that's about..I guess I just don't want to see a certain light in his eyes while it's happening? I dunno. I'd need him to find it wildly exciting too, otherwise it wouldn't work for me, so it's not that. Sorry to hear you were assaulted. Hope you're past it now, and the fktard is doing heavy time in some nasty prison somewhere. candystripper [sm=pole.gif]

larygate -> RE: Thoughts on Rape Play? (7/7/2009 8:57:06 AM)
Dear girl genius I would love to meet you

dreamerdreaming -> RE: Thoughts on Rape Play? (7/7/2009 9:34:38 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: BLGirl I absolutely love rape play. The struggle, pain, and eventual humiliation involved, is fabulous and afterward there is a calm like no other. Does anyone else enjoy this type of play, or am I more of a freak than I realize? (Note: Before anyone that has been sexually assaulted gets offended by the aforementioned, let me say that I too have been sexually assaulted. Therefore, no offense is intended.) BLGirl In my experience: 1.) Rape play is yummy. 2.) Real rape is terrifying. I was nearly killed. 'Nuff said.

Rhembein -> RE: Thoughts on Rape Play? (7/7/2009 9:53:54 AM)
Another random bump from the archives. Gotta love these. If there is one fantasy that I'm ashamed of the most, it would be forced play. I prefer not to call it rape play. Being a victim of an abduction and a violent sexual assault myself, it has always baffled me that I have a desire for this sort of thing. The worst of this shame came just this past Christmas when my rapist was convicted of raping and brutally murdering another girl. I went through a really rough period of crazy emotions, but I still cannot deny the fantasy or the intensity of it. Maybe I need more therapy! :P Something about the odd mix of strength, power, force, vulnerability, and fear all combined with a complete safeness. Very erotic. [:)]

irresistiblforce -> RE: Thoughts on Rape Play? (7/7/2009 10:02:50 AM)
Actually, I can sympathize with this from the other direction. I've performed a rape before a few times, and it's a great way to express a fantasy of holding someone down and threatening her with a knife to force her to gratify you sexually. But the thought of raping someone for real, it's just one of the most unimaginably wrong things I can think of, right up with beating someone up for the cash in their wallet. It's just so... inconsiderate.

SmokeSerpent -> RE: Thoughts on Rape Play? (7/7/2009 10:35:48 AM)
Realistic "stranger" rape play is just about the hardest place for me to go as a Dom. When it has happened it has been very much a "service Dom" sort of thing for me. I enjoy and often require of my subs several other "forced sex" scenarios, but I am much more attuned to seducing strangers than to physically taking from them. I have had two subs who were very into rape play. Both of them had been actually raped. With the first, there was a lot of aftercare needed for her to resolve her conflicted feelings about the situation. The second just plain liked being raped and one of the issues of contention that eventually led to "us" ending was that she liked to go out and chase another actual rape experience, wanted me to condone and encourage that behavior, and wouldn't accept modifying it into a controlled circumstance.

Leonidas -> RE: Thoughts on Rape Play? (7/7/2009 11:13:51 AM)
The attractiveness of raping, and being raped, is just a primal part of our makeup. Those urges are there because raping, and being raped, is one of the "success strategies" that helped to shape us during our evolution as a species. It's ok that you like to be raped. It's ok that some men enjoy raping you. Most men are, in some respects, built to rape you, and you are built to be raped. It's just a natural part of how we are. Sanctioning the rapist is also a natural part of how we are. It's a risky behavior, and for most men, not worth the risk. If you signal to a man that you aren't likely to complain if he rapes you (making you a low-risk rapee), but you'd still prefer that he rape you, rather than ask your permission or plead and cajole you into sex, is that "play"? Maybe, maybe not. It's probably something that women have been doing for a long, long time.

slvemike4u -> RE: Thoughts on Rape Play? (7/7/2009 11:20:33 AM)
Fast Reply....haven't read the thread...and I don't think I want to...but this last post came across the little box...and it caught my eye. I find it repulsive and insulting that the poster used the phrase "most men"......most men wouldn't think of rape as a "success strategy"....we build prisons for those that do.

Leonidas -> RE: Thoughts on Rape Play? (7/7/2009 11:32:05 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: slvemike4u Fast Reply....haven't read the thread...and I don't think I want to...but this last post came across the little box...and it caught my eye. I find it repulsive and insulting that the poster used the phrase "most men"......most men wouldn't think of rape as a "success strategy"....we build prisons for those that do. I'm glad you got that off your chest. "Success strategy" in the evolutionary sense just means it's one of the ways in which a man gets himself into the gene pool. Raping is certainly one way, but it's self-limiting because, again, it's high risk. As you just demonstrated, we have a natural tendency to want to sanction rapists, and for good reason. If there are too many of them around, it interfers with a more common success strategy; that is making sure you are the only one who has had sex with a given female. Men do get testy about that, and for good reason. So, yeah, we do build prisons for those who do. Stands to reason that we would. It is our primal instinct to get rid of the rapists, and we cooperate in doing so. So, reign in the high horse a little. I'm right there with you.

slvemike4u -> RE: Thoughts on Rape Play? (7/7/2009 11:40:13 AM)
No leondas...I don't think you are "right there" with me.We don't "sanction" the rapist because it inteferes with a more common strategy we sanction(and lock the fuck up) the rapist....because rape is a crime of violence...not sex. Have no fear...about a thousand years of evolution and you will be right there with me.

Leonidas -> RE: Thoughts on Rape Play? (7/7/2009 11:58:45 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: slvemike4u No leondas...I don't think you are "right there" with me.We don't "sanction" the rapist because it inteferes with a more common strategy we sanction(and lock the fuck up) the rapist....because rape is a crime of violence...not sex. Have no fear...about a thousand years of evolution and you will be right there with me. Ok, ease up on the anger a little, and we can probably have a good discussion about this. Evolution doesn't have anything to do with it, unless of course you consider yourself genetically superior to a serb, or a rowandan, or an afgan, or any other man who lives in a place where societal sanctions break down, and rape becomes common. The tendency to rape is not uncommon in men, and it tends to occur proportionately to how risky it is. In other words, in environments where men can get away with it, it happens a lot more. The same is true with just about any kind of behavior that we deem to be "criminal". We'd like to think that a large percentage of us are just naturally above it, but we're really not. Few men will knock over a liquor store, because its risky. A very large percentage will pocket a wallet with 1000 bucks in it that they find on the street. It's the same crime. One is risky, the other is less so. If you do think you're genetically superior to men in those less civilized parts of the world, or even less civilized parts of your own country, well, that's a whole other discussion. When it comes to a discussion of something like rape play, denial doesn't make us safer, or better able to deal with the situation. Just the opposite. If we are candid about why something like rape-play appeals, rather than coming up with politically correct sounding but totally bullshit reasons why it is, we're better off, I think. What do you think?

slvemike4u -> RE: Thoughts on Rape Play? (7/7/2009 12:14:49 PM)
What I think is that you have worked very hard to justify some seriously flawed views...but hey,thats just my opinion. As to whether or not I feel genetically superior to those who would commit rape once societial rules break down.....no ,not genetically superior.....but certainly morally superior(not a phrase I'm comfortable with...but you painted the scenario)in the sense I would never rape.It is a crime of violence.....and I'm not violent. Let me add another example to your degeration of societal rules scenarios ....Prison .Rape is rampant in prison....so lets play this game on your level and ask you.....would you rape in prison(keep in mind it is a male prison...therefor your propagation of the species imperative is out the window)?

Leonidas -> RE: Thoughts on Rape Play? (7/7/2009 12:31:20 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: slvemike4u What I think is that you have worked very hard to justify some seriously flawed views...but hey,thats just my opinion. Well bud, the way to have a conversation is that you tell me what you think is flawed about my views, and then we converse about it, but ok, you are certainly entitled to your opinion, even if you choose to keep why you think so to yourself. quote: As to whether or not I feel genetically superior to those who would commit rape once societial rules break down.....no ,not genetically superior.....but certainly morally superior(not a phrase I'm comfortable with...but you painted the scenario)in the sense I would never rape.It is a crime of violence.....and I'm not violent. Yes, I know it is PC to say that it is a "crime of violence", but I think we can agree that if there isn't any fucking involved it stops being rape and becomes assault and battery. In other words, a rapist has a sexual goal in mind that someone who just beats the hell out of a woman and leaves her to bleed does not. As it relates to this thread, there is indeed a difference between "rape play" and play where inflicting and recieving a good beating is the desired outcome, yes? quote: Let me add another example to your degeration of societal rules scenarios ....Prison .Rape is rampant in prison....so lets play this game on your level and ask you.....would you rape in prison(keep in mind it is a male prison...therefor your propagation of the species imperative is out the window)? Yes, men in single sex environments (like a prison, but not necessarily) do have some tendency to rape each other. If you concentrate a group of men who have shown a tendency to agressive behavior together, you'll going to get more of it than you'd probably see in the general population. True in prisons, also true in some ancient military settings where you have lots of agressive men and no women for long periods of time. I don't think that I personally would be a prison rapist. Do you think that your slave tendencies would make you a likely prison rapee?

sirsholly -> RE: Thoughts on Rape Play? (7/7/2009 12:37:12 PM)
quote: Yes, I know it is PC to say that it is a "crime of violence", but I think we can agree that if there isn't any fucking involved it stops being rape and becomes assault and battery. In other words, a rapist has a sexual goal in mind that someone who just beats the hell out of a woman and leaves her to bleed does not. not a sexual goal at all. It is a crime of violence and control with a body part...in the same way assault and battery can be a crime of violence (and possibly control) with the fists

NihilusZero -> RE: Thoughts on Rape Play? (7/7/2009 12:48:36 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Rhembein Another random bump from the archives. Gotta love these. Especially when done by someone begging for attention from a poster on one of the older pages.

NihilusZero -> RE: Thoughts on Rape Play? (7/7/2009 12:54:07 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: slvemike4u What I think is that you have worked very hard to justify some seriously flawed views... Actually, that would be you and your splicing together Leonidas' words out of context and using an appeal to emotion to try to push the point across. He said: quote: Those urges are there because raping, and being raped, is one of the "success strategies" that helped to shape us during our evolution as a species. Followed by: quote: Most men are, in some respects, built to rape you, and you are built to be raped. It's just a natural part of how we are. And you shoved them both together to create a point her never made: quote: most men wouldn't think of rape as a "success strategy" As if to imply it's a modus operandi rather than an observation on the human species. Poor, poor debate etiquette.

Page: << < prev 4 5 [6] 7 8 next > >>

Collarchat.com © 2025

Terms of Service

0.046875