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RE: Clarity - 11/2/2008 4:33:51 PM   
came4U


Posts: 3572
Joined: 1/23/2007
From: London, Ontario
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Clarity is a matter of what suits you at a given time, some are nearsighted, some far.  Some want fast some want slow. Your clarity is defined by control or lack of.  If you choose to hump someone that you wouldn't normaly choose, it is called neglect of such clarity to have some sort of instant gratification-to make due. Don't expect any deep emotional reward in that instance. Quite simply, you have no scruples.

If you choose someone on every basic natural instinct that you have and feel they meet it exactly (online that is) and then you meet them and they smell funky, then what? Do you stay? Can you ignore it? Does the very nose that God gave you decieve you?  If you don't believe in God, then does someone's bad smell only remind us that as 'neaders' our nose was a source to indicate us of evil or illness of some kind?

If your choice is not primal in nature, it is likely not a good choice at all.  If not primal it is out of necessity, out of loneliness, desperaption, or even calleousness (payback to a spouse/lover). 

We all want to pick the perfect mate, to make due with lesser is a personal and private choice. 

In the end, happiness through success *financial, location, power, physical (health of your ums etc) is what we actually seek but often ignore because we do not see the 'big picture'. 

Maybe some jump into something too quickly, who knows.  People often know little about an actual person before playing/fucking/sucking/cohabitating with etc. 

This is why event current cultures with arranged marriages have worked very well (if they didn't then too bad) Even if that person was a stranger, the likelyhood of success was higher because elder family members disclosed (or knew of) the dowry, ownership of property, childhood habits and disclosure of faults or lackings.  Lies are probable to occur with the families but by the time it is discovered it is taken up at a later date and negotiated through currency of some kind.

We do not do that here and we are not in the middle ages, clarity can only be found in investment of time.  Look at divorce rates. The average person marries a partner within 8 months, the average cohabitation occurs within 16 weeks.

People don't end up with 'losers' because they choose a loser.  They end up with a loser because they decided to ignore their instincts if even for a brief moment of depravity. 

Take the time and option to choose wisely and the likelyhood of the negative occuring is down to a very low percentage.

Same goes for BDSM.  You can arrive at someone's door a slave/Master to be, but if you expect rosey sunshine up your ass any either account for a lifetime then you are surely mistaken. 

The true honor in that situation is getting the satisfaction in knowing 'He/she has chosen me to spend time with out of a planet of six billion??? wow, I really must try to prove them right in their decision'. 

Be accountable for the time you allot to the people you chose to be around and thank them often.  Don't forget, there are plenty more minutes and plenty more people that they can enjoy elsewhere.






_____________________________

It hurts.....that you call me a masochist


(in reply to Padriag)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: Clarity - 11/2/2008 7:09:16 PM   
Mercnbeth


Posts: 11766
Status: offline
quote:

...The problem we have in setting definitions is that we don't have a scale for things...


disagree.  the problem we have with concrete definitions is that much, if not all, of WIITWD,(sans techniques for making floggers and the like), is subjective, according to the individual value we place on labels, orientations, activites, physical time spent together and things we deem "rare".

(in reply to SimplyMichael)
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RE: Clarity - 11/3/2008 4:18:00 AM   
candystripper


Posts: 3486
Joined: 11/1/2005
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quote:

We need to assess their financial success  (Excerpt.)

SimplyMichael


Man, you were in a sadist mood when you wrote the Op, weren't you?  LOL 
 
Ya, I agree that no one is going to be seen as 'dominant' etc. by every single person they meet.  But what's up with the financial success thing?  I didn't know I was supposed to assume *twue* Doms were all kings. 
 
Man, I missed another memo, LOL.
 
*winks*
 
candystripper 

(in reply to SimplyMichael)
Profile   Post #: 43
RE: Clarity - 11/3/2008 6:35:55 AM   
SimplyMichael


Posts: 7229
Joined: 1/7/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: candystripper

quote:

We need to assess their financial success  (Excerpt.)

SimplyMichael


Man, you were in a sadist mood when you wrote the Op, weren't you?  LOL 
 
Ya, I agree that no one is going to be seen as 'dominant' etc. by every single person they meet.  But what's up with the financial success thing?  I didn't know I was supposed to assume *twue* Doms were all kings. 
 
Man, I missed another memo, LOL.
 
*winks*
 
candystripper 


The financial position of the dominant and the submissive matter, the question is how much which is why I put it in there. Remember how the scale works, financial success is a relative term, for some submissives it is a meaningless trait in a prospective dominant, for others it simply means living within your means and only for a few does it mean being fabulously wealthy.  

(in reply to candystripper)
Profile   Post #: 44
RE: Clarity - 11/3/2008 12:12:40 PM   
came4U


Posts: 3572
Joined: 1/23/2007
From: London, Ontario
Status: offline
The only way I can describe financial success or lack of is as I have in here before.

I see all attributes in mere primal form.  I don't know why, but I do. Guess that is why it can be called an innate calculating of how I view someone of the species. In this case, men, Dominant men.

We are born (hopefully) to adapt to our surroundings, however harsh they may be.  The strong survive and the weak fail to thrive.

If a certain population lives and was raised in (or around, or have access to the) major cities of a continent, of which are for the most part Capitalist in generality, then wouldn't it make sense that having more assets, better position in life/finances/power?  Whether inherited or not, it is an upper hand upon others--even if you are a 100lb weaking in need of a Charles Atlas workout. 

Just as early man had to be the fastest, strongest, fittest of his species to gain control of a certain hunting area or woman/women and access to wilderness for vegetable staples, men today still do the same.  They are born, grow up, taught how to be responsible, how to save money (allowance) then to make money (occupation choice) and further to gain more assets though the power of such assets.  They in turn (most cases) choose a worthy mate, of similar stature both economically and in mannerism (or any other basic colloquial language of their surroundings).  ie: Rarely do we see type M:  Bank CEO/Stock Analyst marry a type W: Waitress or Janitor. Choices are made out of class or stock preference.  *Lets ignore sickness/bad health and genetic deformities in this discussion.

Primal lusts through supply and demand are often a trigger for any instance of chosing a healthy, successful mate.  That supply might be food, it might be percentage of men/women in vicinity, it could even be family status within any given villiage.  The demand usually requires the actual choice of such forementioned is equal, higher or lacking.  All three of these choices make for a different decision in the end result of suitable consequence.  We have grocery stores now, men with more income can choose better cuts of steak, if it were a jungle, he would be the fittest to catch a more delicate fleshy animal. (beast or womanly creature).

In other words, if in this year 2008, a man has not adapted to be productively reasonably successful within a certain timeframe (some say you gotta 'make it, be something, somebody' by age 35 or it ain't gonna happen).   Explains why even drug dealers have hot pretty young girls hanging about, even hired goons that imply some sort of undying respect to their bossman. Even if they have succeeded by risk and by illegal activity, there is usually someone else who is available to view your status and seeming prestige as a form of heirarchy and find it worthy of feeling stable within and around him. 

ok, what it all means.

if you are not a success by 35, have thrived in the economy, built some assetts via brains or even brawn,...likelyhood you are not fit to be a leader, a protector, a mentor or a guide to very many.  If you still mop floors at BK at age 35, you are not likely a candidate for any documentary on any 'survival of the fittest' campaign. You haven't been the brightest or most persistent in getting more out of society than some others strive to (education, formal or informal job enhancement training etc).

*this does not include those who are in actual and true guidance positions such as (borderline altruistics) teachers, police and/or military.  This type usually sticks to the field they chose out of enjoyment and deserves merit on a higher emotional and financial scale. 




< Message edited by came4U -- 11/3/2008 12:23:10 PM >


_____________________________

It hurts.....that you call me a masochist


(in reply to SimplyMichael)
Profile   Post #: 45
RE: Clarity - 11/3/2008 12:29:45 PM   
CreativeDominant


Posts: 11032
Joined: 3/11/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: NuevaVida

Michael I am finally coming to enjoy your sarcasm. And I'm glad you are seeing that a flogger can be just as enjoyable (if not more) for a dominant/top as it can be for a submissive/bottom. Sorry yours was stolen.

I think the answer to your OP is pi-R-squared.


If pi-R-squared, does that mean submissive-r-round?  or is it that submissive-r-obtuse?

I hear you Michael.  I've met those who felt they were very submissive but with the caveat of "you have to bring it out in me and I am going to challenge you along the way".  Well, not being one of those who finds challenges and "testing" all that much fun...whether done from my side of the kneel or the other side...I don't find these submissives all that submissive.  I've met slaves who argued their points and chose their obedience in many more structured ways than many submissives.  I've met slaveowners who with barely a word controlled slaves who were problematic for most people to deal with and I've met slaveowners who were called such only because it fit within the dynamic set up between themselves and the one who served them.  Tis a matter of perspective...sadly, in many cases...because for many, they don't want to adhere, even a little bit, to what has been defined.

(in reply to NuevaVida)
Profile   Post #: 46
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