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Help your Mistress kick a bad habit? - 11/1/2008 12:17:54 PM   
atypicalsub


Posts: 284
Joined: 4/11/2008
From: an atypical sub
Status: offline 		I'm looking for ideas on how a sub can help their Mistress kick a bad habit.  Obviously it has to be something the Mistress wants to do first, but in what ways can the sub encourage, assist, and perhaps reward this?  I would like to hear this addressed in a general sense so people can apply it to their own situations and habits. 

That said, I will offer a specific example.  My Mistress had quit smoking some time ago.  Unfortunately after a particularly stressful period she re-started and is again hooked.  She knows all the health risks etc, which is why she quit the first time.  So how can I help her quit again without being a nag or stepping out of my place as an obedient subbie?


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RE: Help your Mistress kick a bad habit? - 11/1/2008 12:28:02 PM   
Lockit


Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		LOL For me, I would say... say little, smile big and follow my direction.  Safer that way. hehe

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RE: Help your Mistress kick a bad habit? - 11/1/2008 12:31:11 PM   
atypicalsub


Posts: 284
Joined: 4/11/2008
From: an atypical sub
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Lockit

LOL For me, I would say... say little, smile big and follow my direction.  Safer that way. hehe


So you wouldn't want your submissive to offer any help beating something you have yourself said is a problem for you?


_____________________________

Polyamorous, solitary eclectic pagan, pansexual slut, and personal pet of MistressYes

"Do not do anything you are ashamed of, and don't be ashamed of anything you do"
(although I'm sure my bio-family wishes I did less and was ashamed of more)


(in reply to Lockit)
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RE: Help your Mistress kick a bad habit? - 11/1/2008 12:37:37 PM   
OttersSwim


Posts: 2860
Joined: 9/1/2008
Status: offline 		Let her lead you.

Pamper her, spoil her with service, be the cheerleader, anticipate her needs...

So pretty much what you would normally be doing right? 


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RE: Help your Mistress kick a bad habit? - 11/1/2008 12:39:58 PM   
YourhandMyAss


Posts: 5516
Joined: 6/25/2006
From: Sacramento
Status: offline 		I personally don't feel it's my job helping someone who claims to be  a dominant, over an addiction. They're either strong enough to grab the problem by the horns and pull themselves up and over it or their not and they remain submissive to their addiction..

Now I would be sensitive to their struggles, and if it was something like say beatin a junk food addiction, I wouldn't ask for junk food or eat it around them. Course I am the one trying to stay away from junk and Daddy is the one gravitating to it lol.

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RE: Help your Mistress kick a bad habit? - 11/1/2008 1:27:17 PM   
Lockit


Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		If I know I have a problem or habit I need to kick, I don't want nagging or even positive encouragement that can come off as nagging.  I may be struggling with it and would love someone to talk to or vent to or just to hold my hand, but I don't want to be enticed or nagged with... it is better for you, you smell nicer or anything of the like.  One may be irritable to start with, especially with smoking type habits and even positive words can be seen as pressure.  So smile... hold my hand and love me up and I will tell you when I need more.

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RE: Help your Mistress kick a bad habit? - 11/1/2008 3:44:13 PM   
MistressOfGa


Posts: 2929
Status: offline
quote:

 So smile... hold my hand and love me up and I will tell you when I need more.


Exactly!
 
As far as being a submissive to any addiction, it has nothing to do with Dominance or submission. It has nothing to do with will power. It has everything to do with having friends and love ones who respect your desire and your decision without being so judgmental about them. I quit smoking. I put the pack down and never picked it up again till recently. I didn't do it with a patch nor did I string it out over the course of days, I simply put them down. I had family members who I called when I was craving and they helped me by just listening to me. They didn't tell me that I had done a good job, nor did they tell me that I was weak for wanting another cigarette. They just listened to me. I have recently started smoking again. I will quit when I want to or I won't. I am no more submissive to them than I am to my sub.
 
It is what it is. Has nothing to do with this lifestyle or wiitwd.

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RE: Help your Mistress kick a bad habit? - 11/1/2008 5:40:02 PM   
Soyokaze


Posts: 390
Joined: 4/1/2007
Status: offline 		If it's affecting their health, let them know how concerned you are about it.  Then try to get her to get you to help.  Being pushy about the whole thing probably a bad idea.  Just my opinion.

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RE: Help your Mistress kick a bad habit? - 11/1/2008 8:02:48 PM   
stella41b


Posts: 4258
Joined: 10/16/2007
From: SW London (UK)
Status: offline 		Dip lighters and matches in water when she's not looking.

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RE: Help your Mistress kick a bad habit? - 11/1/2008 8:48:35 PM   
AcademyForSlaves


Posts: 712
Joined: 2/24/2006
Status: offline 		Little hints.

-Talk about someone you know who has lung cancer.
-Cough alot when she smokes near you.
-Tell her you'll miss her if she dies young from lung cancer. (Especially use this one if she complains about you nagging her about smoking)
-Place lung cancer pamphlets in the bathroom.
-Mention the ironic similarity between breathing exercises and the relaxation she feels from exhaling smoke.

Hope this helps.



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RE: Help your Mistress kick a bad habit? - 11/1/2008 8:56:09 PM   
Lockit


Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		LOL you are sadistic!  That would get mine hurt! Gag balled, tied up and smoked out! hehe

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RE: Help your Mistress kick a bad habit? - 11/1/2008 8:58:36 PM   
UmbraDomina


Posts: 491
Joined: 7/22/2008
From: SE Michigan
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: AcademyForSlaves

Little hints.

-Talk about someone you know who has lung cancer.
-Cough alot when she smokes near you.
-Tell her you'll miss her if she dies young from lung cancer. (Especially use this one if she complains about you nagging her about smoking)
-Place lung cancer pamphlets in the bathroom.
-Mention the ironic similarity between breathing exercises and the relaxation she feels from exhaling smoke.

Hope this helps.




If anyone ever used tactics such as these to attempt have me change my life, or choices in life, they would quickly find themselves dismissed and replaced, hopefully before I stuffed the pamplets up their butt.  
Instead of mentally attacking the person in question ( the OP's Mistress) I would suggest being supportive to her needs, offering to help her, asking her what you can do to help her, and if she wants your help doing so. If she started back smoking becouse of stress, how about helping her find other ways to deal with it?
Everyone has bad habits, overcoming them has to be their choice, you can only be supportive, being a nag is a great way to limit the life of your releationship.

_____________________________

Alexandra ~

~~ And I will show you something different from either your shadow at morning striding behind you Or your shadow at evening rising to meet you; I will show you fear in a handful of dust..... T.S. Elliot ~~

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RE: Help your Mistress kick a bad habit? - 11/1/2008 9:08:13 PM   
manxcat


Posts: 673
Joined: 10/3/2008
Status: offline 		Hide her cigarettes.  Then when she says she wants one, offer to massage her, or whatever fave activity might distract her. Me, i hide my cigarettes from myself sometimes.  It is part of an oral fixation i have.  When i was in a vanilla relationship, my bf would start kissing me when i said i wanted a cigarette.  Cut me way back. 
Good Luck
manxy

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billion people to stone every night, staring fixedly,
that Siren which called and sang and promised so much and gave, after all, so little.
Ray Bradbury


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RE: Help your Mistress kick a bad habit? - 11/2/2008 2:34:11 AM   
FullfigRIMaam


Posts: 718
Joined: 6/21/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: AcademyForSlaves
Little hints.
-Talk about someone you know who has lung cancer.
-Cough alot when she smokes near you.
-Tell her you'll miss her if she dies young from lung cancer. (Especially use this one if she complains about you nagging her about smoking)
-Place lung cancer pamphlets in the bathroom.
-Mention the ironic similarity between breathing exercises and the relaxation she feels from exhaling smoke.

Hope this helps
If you were mine and did any of this, I would be +1 addiction and - (minus) one submissive/slave.   Do not do any of the above unless she asks you to.

On the other hand, I do agree with this
quote:

OttersSwim
Pamper her, spoil her with service, be the cheerleader, anticipate her needs...

So pretty much what you would normally be doing right? 
Good luck,  M

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"Love is the only sane and satisfactory answer to the problem of human existence." Erich Fromm

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RE: Help your Mistress kick a bad habit? - 11/2/2008 4:25:01 AM   
iwearpanties


Posts: 509
Joined: 7/21/2005
Status: offline 		dear fellow Sub

i hope you do get her to stop . i lost a few people uin my family too it when they got cancer form it .

how i will tell you its got too be one of the tuffest things to you  do in this world . i wish all the best and hope you find a postive solution. but i will say she has too make a committment on her own too realy stop the will power she must show and follow thur . with her wants too quite and not sneak them behind your  back .

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RE: Help your Mistress kick a bad habit? - 11/2/2008 6:24:06 AM   
MistressOfGa


Posts: 2929
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: UmbraDomina

quote:

ORIGINAL: AcademyForSlaves

Little hints.

-Talk about someone you know who has lung cancer.
-Cough alot when she smokes near you.
-Tell her you'll miss her if she dies young from lung cancer. (Especially use this one if she complains about you nagging her about smoking)
-Place lung cancer pamphlets in the bathroom.
-Mention the ironic similarity between breathing exercises and the relaxation she feels from exhaling smoke.

Hope this helps.




If anyone ever used tactics such as these to attempt have me change my life, or choices in life, they would quickly find themselves dismissed and replaced, hopefully before I stuffed the pamplets up their butt.  
Instead of mentally attacking the person in question ( the OP's Mistress) I would suggest being supportive to her needs, offering to help her, asking her what you can do to help her, and if she wants your help doing so. If she started back smoking becouse of stress, how about helping her find other ways to deal with it?
Everyone has bad habits, overcoming them has to be their choice, you can only be supportive, being a nag is a great way to limit the life of your releationship.


Great post! I am in 100% agreement with UmbraDomina.

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RE: Help your Mistress kick a bad habit? - 11/2/2008 7:47:24 AM   
MistressRouge


Posts: 876
Joined: 3/18/2005
From: Birmingham West Midlands UK
Status: offline 		Myself having just recently quit smoking 2 months ago (still early days), I can tell you first-hand, no sub, switch Dominant or any other human being, not even children can MAKE someone quit smoking.

It is a personal choice, and it is down to the individual to kick a habit for themselves only.

A friend of mine mentioned quitting smoking is easy, it is the staying quit that is the hardest.


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RE: Help your Mistress kick a bad habit? - 11/2/2008 11:21:13 AM   
youngsubgeoff


Posts: 900
Joined: 9/25/2007
From: The Asylum
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: YourhandMyAss

I personally don't feel it's my job helping someone who claims to be  a dominant, over an addiction. They're either strong enough to grab the problem by the horns and pull themselves up and over it or their not and they remain submissive to their addiction..

Now I would be sensitive to their struggles, and if it was something like say beatin a junk food addiction, I wouldn't ask for junk food or eat it around them. Course I am the one trying to stay away from junk and Daddy is the one gravitating to it lol.


Most intelligent adults have the ability to think something but not say it, especially when its stupid.


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You dont need to question my sanity, I can assure you Im quite mad. Its ok though, all the best people are

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RE: Help your Mistress kick a bad habit? - 11/3/2008 5:57:46 AM   
CatdeMedici


Posts: 2257
Joined: 10/20/2008
Status: offline 		A tough question and you will get a myriad of responses that say your are a sub not the D you just have to live with it and blah blah blah--however, things like smoking, drinking, drugs can be deal breakers---there are always TWO people involved in addiction no matter what it is. IMHO if She was not smoking when you got together and that was a preference for you, you have the right to say---ahem-we have a problem here. Smoking affects everyone around them not just the puffers--for Me, that would be a deal breaker--as has been stated, we are all adults with the ability to make decisions about our lives, Confucious says its only the fools who don't learn from them. Your concern speaks volumes, Her lack of it without conversation and agreement speaks even more.

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RE: Help your Mistress kick a bad habit? - 11/3/2008 10:30:05 AM   
Lockit


Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		If someone accepts another with faults or whatever and then sets out to change things, the issue becauses a far different thing in my opinion.  If I do something a submissive doesn't like, he has the right to walk away.  If he accepts it, he has no right to complain even if what I do is not good for me.  Does that mean that I wouldn't change this problem?  No... but he has no right to nag, bitch, complain or positive talk me into change or to expect change over night.  I would not expect a problem my submissive had, that I knew about fully and accepted, to be changed over night.  I would not nag, bitch, complain or use positive talk to do any of these things as subtle hints either.  There is much to be said for speaking clearly and being forthright, but when there is a d/s dynamic and someone tries to change something they accepted all along, until they got me... I would see that as wrong.

_____________________________

No matter how old a woman gets, some men will think she was born yesterday! ROFL... I love this place!


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