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Is This Win-Win Situation Common? - 11/1/2008 4:16:43 PM

QueenAlaleh

Posts: 7
Joined: 10/17/2008
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My main beta-male said something to me today, which I found quite fascinating. He told me that endeavoring to improve my life felt like foreplay to him.

Talk about a win-win situation!

I already knew that he truly adores serving me in person. However, his comment followed several hours of effort for my benefit outside of my presence and residence. Until that moment, I never quite understood the depth of his submission, or his sexual link to non-sexual service.

While he doesn't experience full sexual arousal during outside service, he does feel a mild euphoric state accompanied by some precum leakage.

Is my boy somewhat of a rarity, or is his physiological response to outside service relatively common?

Post #: 1

RE: Is This Win-Win Situation Common? - 11/1/2008 4:52:26 PM

xxblushesxx

Posts: 9318
Joined: 11/3/2005
From: Kentucky
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I can only speak for myself.
Speaking for myself, I'd say it's common.
(but I don't have a lot of different data to compare it to!!)

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(in reply to QueenAlaleh)

Post #: 2

RE: Is This Win-Win Situation Common? - 11/1/2008 5:34:22 PM

antipode

Posts: 1787
Joined: 4/19/2004
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I read this twice, which is unusual for me. But I still haven't a clue what you're talking about. I would like it in MME (Mere Mortal English) please.

(in reply to QueenAlaleh)

Post #: 3

RE: Is This Win-Win Situation Common? - 11/1/2008 5:38:23 PM

mc1234

Posts: 683
Joined: 10/4/2008
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When deep in a relationship, I've definitely experienced very positive feelings and some arousal when doing something to serve my Dominant when not in his presence. It's a connection even though it's not in person.

(in reply to QueenAlaleh)

Post #: 4

RE: Is This Win-Win Situation Common? - 11/1/2008 5:51:52 PM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
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quote:

ORIGINAL: antipode

I read this twice, which is unusual for me. But I still haven't a clue what you're talking about. I would like it in MME (Mere Mortal English) please.

It's pretty clear to the rest of us. Her sub gets turned on doing nonsexual service for her.

I think it may only happen with someone who is service oriented. I don't get turned on doing laundry or bill paying, or taking his mail to the post office to be weighed.

I am more likely to be happier if he asks me to do something that I know he particularly enjoys and that I feel competent at, such as baking him an apple pie. But if I just decide to do so to be nice, I don't get the pleasure. I need him telling me and it has to be something that gives me an ego boost like him digging into the pie and telling me how great it is.

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Post #: 5

RE: Is This Win-Win Situation Common? - 11/1/2008 6:01:20 PM

IrishMist

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quote:

quote:

ORIGINAL: antipode

I read this twice, which is unusual for me. But I still haven't a clue what you're talking about. I would like it in MME (Mere Mortal English) please.

It's pretty clear to the rest of us. Her sub gets turned on doing nonsexual service for her.

Yep; pretty much what I understood from her post too

It's pretty common really; service orientated submissives and slaves get their highs from, well....service

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Post #: 6

RE: Is This Win-Win Situation Common? - 11/1/2008 7:46:58 PM

ProlificNeeds

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A sense of achievement/accomplishment does have a chemical release component in the brain. (Geek moment, I know this only from reading up on the addictive properties of online gaming. Hence why goal oriented games with quick 'rewards' tend to hook people. 'quests' give you a little chemical kick every time you feel a sense of achievement at completing one.) So the idea follows if your sub feels achievement from striving to serve you, if they feel they have met the goal or objective, they get an pleasurable endorphine release.
I could see how that could easily lead to physical pleasure and the consequent reactions.

(in reply to IrishMist)

Post #: 7

RE: Is This Win-Win Situation Common? - 11/1/2008 8:25:58 PM

AcademyForSlaves

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Joined: 2/24/2006
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Is a real slave who truly likes serving and pleasing an Owner a rare person?

Yes.

A real submissive/slave finds complete and total satisfaction in serving and pleasing the dominant by doing whatever the dominant wants and commands.

I love owning such slaves. But yes they're rare.

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(in reply to QueenAlaleh)

Post #: 8

RE: Is This Win-Win Situation Common? - 11/2/2008 12:12:45 AM

LuckyAlbatross

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It's pretty common- but a lot of factors such as type of service, length of relationship, expectation of sexual contact and other things can seem to make it more or less likely.

I CAN get a happy buzz, but if my mom's in the hospital, it's really not likely to happen. Nothing to do with Ds or service or sex or my relationship, it's just life shit.

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Post #: 9

RE: Is This Win-Win Situation Common? - 11/2/2008 1:41:22 AM

NuevaVida

Posts: 6707
Joined: 8/5/2008
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I love doing things for the man I'm seeing, that benefit him. Sure, I love when he gets off on me sexually, but my service to him encompasses more than that. For example, tonight he was talking to me about a situation at work that he has no experience dealing with, and it was causing him a lot of stress. He's preparing for a meeting he is conducting with the top brass, and because of the situation he shared with me, he was concerned about the meeting. In about a half an hour's time, I put together an awesome powerpoint presentation for him that sold all the points he needed to make, and counseled him on how to present it. He was totally thrilled, and asked if I wanted a job with him at his organization, lol. In turn, it thrilled me to see all that stress immediately drain from him, and to see him lighthearded again. I can't say the experience was a sexual turn on for me, but I loved it all the same, and offered that sort of service any time he wanted it (we are still fairly new to each other).

So yes, definitely a win/win. I'm doing something good for him and I love that it obviously benefited him and enhanced his day.

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Post #: 10

RE: Is This Win-Win Situation Common? - 11/2/2008 7:51:43 AM

QueenAlaleh

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Joined: 10/17/2008
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Thank you for all your perspectives, ranging from rare to common.

(in reply to QueenAlaleh)

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RE: Is This Win-Win Situation Common? - 11/2/2008 12:53:25 PM

came4U

Posts: 3572
Joined: 1/23/2007
From: London, Ontario
Status: offline

Service situation or vanilla, precum euphoria can occur in men and women.

It is akin to the tingling situation of feeling deep love, religious experience or even meditation (like Tantra). A floating, hairstanding experience that very few are capable of.

Some (like me) describe it as the mid-chakra area heats up and it feels like the zero-gravity tingling of being at the upswing of your favorite childhood swing. Others feel it in other areas. Sometimes it can feel like the head splits open and your entire aura and spirit flies out and around the room

oh boy, been so long since I had that mmm.

< Message edited by came4U -- 11/2/2008 12:56:16 PM >

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Post #: 12

RE: Is This Win-Win Situation Common? - 11/2/2008 3:06:36 PM

gypsygrl

Posts: 1471
Joined: 10/8/2005
From: new york state
Status: offline

*nods*

Me too. I get off on housework. Seriously. Its almost better if the person I'm serving isn't here because I get more done. When Sir's around, I'm pretty much completely focused on him, and its hard for me to focus on anything else and I'm very easily distracted. I do much better when I'm by myself with a list of tasks to complete so long as he's the one who made up the list, or at least approved it.

But, yeah, foreplay is a good way to think about it.

_____________________________

“To be happy is to be able to become aware of oneself without fright.” ~Walter Benjamin

(in reply to QueenAlaleh)

Post #: 13

RE: Is This Win-Win Situation Common? - 11/2/2008 8:52:35 PM

QueenAlaleh

Posts: 7
Joined: 10/17/2008
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Oh dear, does my boy ever get off on domestic service!

I have to admit that I get a kick from watching his naked ass arched-up high and wiggling, as he's bent over on his hands and knees scrubbing down my bathtub or shining the outside of my toilet bowl. I don't stand there and watch him complete his chores, but I do enjoy checking in on him every now and then.

He is typically semi-erect and sometimes even fully erect as he performs domestic chores for me, so maybe I shouldn't have been so fascinated from learning about his outside-service arousal. The more I think about it, the more it stands to reason.

However, the jury still seems to be out on whether beta-males like him are common or rare.

(in reply to gypsygrl)

Post #: 14

RE: Is This Win-Win Situation Common? - 11/3/2008 5:29:58 AM

sensualslave28

Posts: 45
Joined: 1/8/2005
From: Australia
Status: offline

Id say more on the rare side Imo

if genuine

thats my 2c

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Post #: 15

RE: Is This Win-Win Situation Common? - 11/22/2008 5:22:47 PM

SthrnCom4t

Posts: 343
Joined: 9/9/2007
Status: offline

I have to admit, prior to my current boy, it seemed like "loving to provide domestic service" just seemed like code for "I'll say anything to get Your attention". However, Otter truly seems to love doing little things around the house that I just adore. Our relationship is still new, but I'm all about rewarding good behavior and hoping it will last a long time!

But now you have me curious....I'll have to find out if doing the dishes gives him a woody. <grin>

Sthrn
Honorably served by OttersSwim

(in reply to QueenAlaleh)

Post #: 16

RE: Is This Win-Win Situation Common? - 11/22/2008 8:01:54 PM

celticlord2112

Posts: 5732
Status: offline

quote:

Is my boy somewhat of a rarity, or is his physiological response to outside service relatively common?

The only thing that doesn't qualify as foreplay is the orgasm.

I suspect that majority of people don't view what they do for their partners beyond the bedroom as "foreplay", but anything that enhances a relationship is likely to enhance the sex.

It's not at all rare--just that most people don't view things that way.

_____________________________

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Post #: 17

RE: Is This Win-Win Situation Common? - 11/23/2008 8:35:44 AM

angelikaJ

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Joined: 6/22/2007
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It sounds like love to me:
""Love" is that condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own..." Robert A. Heinlein

(in reply to QueenAlaleh)

Post #: 18

RE: Is This Win-Win Situation Common? - 11/26/2008 12:46:56 PM

SlaveBlutarsky

Posts: 491
Joined: 10/10/2005
From: Upstate, NY
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: QueenAlaleh

While he doesn't experience full sexual arousal during outside service, he does feel a mild euphoric state accompanied by some precum leakage.

Is my boy somewhat of a rarity, or is his physiological response to outside service relatively common?

I think from the responses, that you can assume it's not completely out of the norm. Personally, I fall into the quoted category. while I'm doing errands or chores for someone, I'm not walking around with a tent in my pants, but there is something there. A feeling of pride and warmth in the service; knowing that someone appreciates it even if there isn't an overt, explicit reward coming.

_____________________________

Strong for all, weak for one

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Post #: 19

RE: Is This Win-Win Situation Common? - 11/26/2008 10:50:43 PM

hardbodysub

Posts: 1654
Joined: 8/7/2005
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QueenAlaleh, I can definitely understand where he's coming from, and I don't think it's unusual. If he's sexually attracted to you, and I can certainly see how he would be, any service that he performs for you keeps you, and your power over him, on his mind. That would certainly tend to put him in a state of arousal. I know it would for me.

(in reply to QueenAlaleh)

Post #: 20

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