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RE: Clue Phone for 20-somethings - 11/2/2008 5:53:05 AM

softness

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From: Leeds, UK
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quote:

ORIGINAL: tazzygirl

whoa... hormones disperse at the age of 30? i didnt even find my full sexuality until 33!

i can sorta see the OP's point... sorta... i have a 21 year old son, so, yeah, i cringe when i get some of these mails from the same age group. but i just smile and either do not reply at all, or i merely say... thank you, but, no thank you

i dont feel anyone should be penalized for their age.

tazzy

Luckily I find that in real life people are far more accepting of age and just make their decisions based on how they find you, not what age you are ... its actually only really online that I have experienced this age crapola (obviously it happens in real life don't get me wrong ... but at nowhere near the same level) .... I have always been intrigued to know why that is.

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Post #: 21

RE: Clue Phone for 20-somethings - 11/2/2008 5:53:16 AM

colouredin

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Joined: 2/2/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: candystripper

Yea, maybe I need to revise my profile so those who scan it find the age limits that *I* am comfortable with more prominent, but honestly, do I have to have an annoying profile that starts out saying 'NO ONE UNDER 40'?

Seeing as you stipulate all the other things you dont want i dont see why adding age would be 'annoying'

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Post #: 22

RE: Clue Phone for 20-somethings - 11/2/2008 5:57:01 AM

IvyMorgan

Posts: 729
Joined: 7/5/2007
From: Midlands, UK
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From the other side of the coin, I get emails from people old enough to be my grandparents.

It happens to everyone.

Just delete it if it bothers you that much.

(in reply to DarkSteven)

Post #: 23

RE: Clue Phone for 20-somethings - 11/2/2008 5:59:28 AM

kiwisub12

Posts: 4742
Joined: 1/11/2006
Status: offline

Hell - obviously i am doing something wrong in my profile - i haven't had a single email wanting depraved sex and submission from anyone in their '20's. what to do, what to do!

and i agree with softness - there is an artificial emphasis on age online. In real life , i don't meet someone and automatically discount them as a partner based on their perceived age. In real time, partner assessment is more geared towards what sort of person they present themselves as, and how we mesh as a couple. Age maybe incorporated in this assessment, but not as a seperate entity with concurrent emphasis.

(in reply to colouredin)

Post #: 24

RE: Clue Phone for 20-somethings - 11/2/2008 6:03:49 AM

ncprincess

Posts: 89
Joined: 1/14/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: softness

Is working hard to recall ever having upset an older man by emailing them .... nope .,.. not coming up with anything. Even the ones who are disinterested, manage a simple "Thank you but no thank you" email ....

Surely if emails with a sexual content disturb you this much .. wouldn't it be better for you to not frequent websites such as this rather than to continually expose yourself to such potentially damaging trauma every time you open your inbox?

Returns to her hormones ... which are apparently raging out of control but will magically disperse at the age of 30 (also makes mental note not to be half way through a hormone driven jungle sex fest at midnight on september 27th 2013)

A bit of advise......the hormones return when you hit 40. Worse than ever (at least in my case). LOL

(in reply to softness)

Post #: 25

RE: Clue Phone for 20-somethings - 11/2/2008 6:09:08 AM

tazzygirl

Posts: 37833
Joined: 10/12/2007
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i do discount them depending on their age. i work, at the moment, in the restraurant industry, closely with many young men, ranging in ages from 18 to 25.

as eye candy... all i can say is yummy. one is even the agreeable partner to a tahitian fantasy me and a few other girls indulge in (god, he would be such a yummy cabana boy!)

but, as a sex partner, i just cant see it. and i know thats my own hang up, because a few of these "men" have offered me the option of a lay more than on one occassion. i have since become "mom" of the group, listening to all their problems with women. and, to their surprise, i also listen to their accomplishments with them too.. lol

tazzy

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Post #: 26

RE: Clue Phone for 20-somethings - 11/2/2008 6:09:16 AM

softness

Posts: 2918
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From: Leeds, UK
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quote:

ORIGINAL: ncprincess

quote:

ORIGINAL: softness

Is working hard to recall ever having upset an older man by emailing them .... nope .,.. not coming up with anything. Even the ones who are disinterested, manage a simple "Thank you but no thank you" email ....

Surely if emails with a sexual content disturb you this much .. wouldn't it be better for you to not frequent websites such as this rather than to continually expose yourself to such potentially damaging trauma every time you open your inbox?

Returns to her hormones ... which are apparently raging out of control but will magically disperse at the age of 30 (also makes mental note not to be half way through a hormone driven jungle sex fest at midnight on september 27th 2013)

A bit of advise......the hormones return when you hit 40. Worse than ever (at least in my case). LOL

no see if the 20 somethings went around dismissing the 40 something attention as "hormone induced" ... we would be told to stop being so immature and get some life experience ....

thinks being in her 40's is looking better and better

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Post #: 27

RE: Clue Phone for 20-somethings - 11/2/2008 6:19:30 AM

zakkan

Posts: 606
Joined: 4/15/2008
Status: offline

I think the OP has changed her profile. There is a line that says she is not interested in 20 and 30 somethings.

Ok, being a 20 something myself, and you being exactly my mother's age, I can say that without that particular line, there is nothing that will discourage a 20+ dom that is confident in himself to message you. I know a few people who just might do it too.

I am not one of them, just to make it clear...

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Post #: 28

RE: Clue Phone for 20-somethings - 11/2/2008 6:23:52 AM

candystripper

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Joined: 11/1/2005
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It's great to be 20...at least, I thought so. It's great to be 30, and 40, and 50..and from what some of my girlfriends tell me, it's great to be 60. I guess for some of us, though, there's a desire for *continuing* growth and maturation after adolesence. The 20 year old *me* was a much different woman than the 50 year old *me* is...and part of that is I have a sense of -- I dunno, capacity, maybe? -- to parent that I did not have at 20.

No, no one who has been squorked by a young member has run off CM, lol. Not to my knowledge, anyway.

candystripper

(in reply to tazzygirl)

Post #: 29

RE: Clue Phone for 20-somethings - 11/2/2008 6:27:54 AM

Evility

Posts: 915
Joined: 12/19/2007
Status: offline

I clearly see the age comments in your profile that the others did not. Perhaps they missed it or you updated it this morning. I'm always amused at the "read my profile first" people whose profiles read like War And Peace. That you get any responses at all after that diatribe amazes me. Yes, people should read your profile before contacting you but it should not take a week long investment of their life to do so.

(in reply to candystripper)

Post #: 30

RE: Clue Phone for 20-somethings - 11/2/2008 6:31:11 AM

califsue

Posts: 593
Joined: 2/2/2008
Status: offline

I have had young men in their 20's and 30's and I always tell them I am the one hung up on the age thing. There is a Dom on CM and his profile said he was 32. I told him I was too old for him. Since then, I have found out that the member actually has to update the age but even at 36 I still feel that he is too young for me. We actually have developed an online friendship. It doesn't squick me out and I don't mine if they contact to me I just feel like we don't have much in common and I always feel they should experience life and have fun with people in their age bracket..

(in reply to candystripper)

Post #: 31

RE: Clue Phone for 20-somethings - 11/2/2008 6:35:40 AM

flower2007

Posts: 120
Joined: 4/14/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: candystripper

It is *creepy* to me to receive a panting email looking for a D/s relationship from someone so young, I could have graduated college with their mother.

Funny, because I have the same feeling about 50 year old men emailing me.

(in reply to candystripper)

Post #: 32

RE: Clue Phone for 20-somethings - 11/2/2008 7:17:36 AM

mc1234

Posts: 683
Joined: 10/4/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: candystripper
I think instead, what's happening is that for some of us, an unwanted sense of the taboo is set off.

I don't know about anyone else but there are quite a few taboos that I don't mind exploring one bit ... I don't think it's outside the realm of possibility to think a younger man would have a kink for older woman and feel this is an appropriate place to explore that. As you updated your profile, that should help, but I'd advise smiling, taking it as a compliment and moving on. That's what I've always done.

(in reply to candystripper)

Post #: 33

RE: Clue Phone for 20-somethings - 11/2/2008 7:47:16 AM

missturbation

Posts: 8290
Joined: 2/12/2006
From: another planet
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I get emails from those young enough to be my son and those old enough to be my father. Those young enough to be my son do squick me out, they are usually only a couple of years older than my um.
The older guys dont tend to squick me but maybe thats because im more into older guys than younger or my own age.
I just delete the squick mails but i do understand what candy stripper is saying.

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Post #: 34

RE: Clue Phone for 20-somethings - 11/2/2008 7:54:54 AM

MmeGigs

Posts: 706
Joined: 1/26/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: SylvereApLeanan
Clearly, the 20-somethings think you still look young and fit enough to keep up with them.

I don't think that has much to do with it, since I get lots of mail from 20-somethings, too.

quote:

Instead of whining about it on the boards, you should be taking it as a compliment.

You think that it's "creepy" and "EEEWWWW!" to be contacted by someone 17 years older than you, but we should take it as a compliment when we're contacted by someone 25 years or more younger than us?

I'm not offended or irritated when young folks contact me. I tend to prefer people within my own age group, but it's a pretty soft preference, not a hard limit. The person's age doesn't affect the way I respond to them - if the email is a polite and friendly introduction, I respond in a polite and friendly manner. It is a bit offensive when young folk who contact me are focused on my age. It gives me that same icked-out feeling that I get when men talk to my tits rather than to my face.

(in reply to SylvereApLeanan)

Post #: 35

RE: Clue Phone for 20-somethings - 11/2/2008 8:04:18 AM

CallaFirestormBW

Posts: 3651
Joined: 6/29/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LinnaeaBorealis

I don't get what the big deal is. There's a delete button, yanno. Quite frankly, I enjoy people who are younger than I. Most people my age are waaaaay too old for me. I am beginning to get to know someone in his 20's who appears to be quite intelligent & mature. I don't categorically reject anyone based on their outsides. For me it's what's inside that counts.

Like you, I don't summarily reject folks in their 20s -- and there is still a 25 year old woman living in my brain, even though the body's been through twice that amount of challenging living... Most of the younger folk we've worked with have discovered that, once they had a feel for things, they wanted to settle down with someone closer to their own ages (which also works fine for us).

I don't even find it 'icky', despite having offspring in that 18-25 range. These folks who write me -aren't- my offspring, and they're consenting adults. They may not know exactly what they want, but at least I know that, with me, they're not going to get f*cked over trying to find out... and I hope that my kinky new adult offspring have a safe place to explore, so why would I ever get squicked providing that for someone else?

It also helps, though, that I'm not looking for romantic partners -- for me, it's all about the authority exchange and the fetish expression... so it opens up a whole world of 'let's try it and see', without anyone feeling like if they take that opportunity, they're going to be trapped for life.

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(in reply to LinnaeaBorealis)

Post #: 36

RE: Clue Phone for 20-somethings - 11/2/2008 8:07:31 AM

CalifChick

Posts: 10717
Joined: 10/28/2007
From: California
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: candystripper
it seemed to me that alerting the young members to the apparently unknown fact -- that not every member in their parents' generation is comfortable with their advances -- was quite proper subject for an Op here.

Well, there's two problems with that.

1. The people that are contacting you on the other side are not likely reading your posts here, so you're just pissing into the wind.

2. If, by some chance, the people contacting you on the other side stumble onto this side, your very-young-looking avatar accompanied by the "stripper pole" emoticon at the end of every one of your messages would lead a reasonable person to think you were much, much younger than you are. Perhaps then, they are so taken with you that they write to you before they tackle your profile.

Cali

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(in reply to candystripper)

Post #: 37

RE: Clue Phone for 20-somethings - 11/2/2008 8:24:57 AM

theobserver

Posts: 456
Joined: 8/18/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: colouredin

To be honest I get loas of messages from people old enough to be my father so its not just one way.

Yes it works both ways and I find it a little unsettling when someone much much older than I (60 and up) contacts me in a "sexual" manner. To remedy that, I just put a filter on for age groups on either end of the spectrum that I don't feel comfortable having contact with.

< Message edited by theobserver -- 11/2/2008 9:04:39 AM >

(in reply to colouredin)

Post #: 38

RE: Clue Phone for 20-somethings - 11/2/2008 8:27:29 AM

RainydayNE

Posts: 978
Joined: 10/21/2008
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when you're young, everyone chalks things up to "omgz your hormones are out of control!"
which is certainly true to SOME degree, but to make a blanket statement like that about everyone of a certain age group is just silly. and to be honest, it borders on ageism. =p same thing as saying that everything an old person does should be blamed on dementia. =p but nooo you wouldn't get away with that, would you.=p
some younger people seek out older people just like some older people seek out younger people.
what about being a 20-something getting tons of messages from 50+ers?
if you don't specify something like that, it's your own issue to deal with.

califchick's points are extremely important. =p

(in reply to CalifChick)

Post #: 39

RE: Clue Phone for 20-somethings - 11/2/2008 8:31:00 AM

JustDarkness

Posts: 1461
Joined: 7/25/2008
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Hmm
I thought elder females liked it when younger guys wistle at them..or look at them ...as way of compliment.
But they can't message?

(in reply to RainydayNE)

Post #: 40

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