Am I or Aren't I ?

Am I or Aren't I ? (Full Version)

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Flummoxed -> Am I or Aren't I ? (12/16/2005 9:35:52 AM)
Hi, I'm very new to all this, and not even sure if BDSM is my thing. But maybe I have been denying my true self. Anyway, I have a question (one of many no doubt) what was it that made you realise you were for the BDSM world? I'm confused, and frightened

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Am I or Aren't I ? (12/16/2005 9:39:11 AM)
My own personal desires, my own personal resonances, my own personal interests all seem to gel very well within the archetypes and nuances and focii of the "bdsm" sub-culture. Given that, individually I'm extremely "atypical" of your normal bdsmer. I fit and yet am unique. It's finding that balance that matters.

Crazytwice -> RE: Am I or Aren't I ? (12/16/2005 10:08:14 AM)
Hi Flummoxed, I'm equally as "flummoxed" at times. Very new as you are. I find that if I keep in contact with this culture, either by exchanging e-mails, reading /writing on the boards, meeting for coffee, whatever, I'm less afraid. It's starting to feel more normal. Hang in there, it's a very very slow process (for me anyway) but it does get easier with time. Feel free to write to me and we can exchange thoughts/ideas. Sincerely, CT

IrishMist -> RE: Am I or Aren't I ? (12/16/2005 10:18:06 AM)
quote: what was it that made you realise you were for the BDSM world? the fact that there was a name for the desires that burned inside me :)

plantlady64 -> RE: Am I or Aren't I ? (12/16/2005 10:27:48 AM)
Hello There, For me it took having a man be dominant over me on a date to wake me up to the notions that I may have interests in S&M. If you are scared I'd advise learning as much as you can about this lifestyle as knowledge is power. Read books, join munches, talk here in the boards and take your time. Rule number one for me in the beginning was if it didn't feel right it was not right for me. Don't let anyone tell you well if you were real you'd do such and such to prove it. I say do what you're comfortable with and stay true to your dreams. Good luck, sub suzanne

Sensualips -> RE: Am I or Aren't I ? (12/16/2005 11:06:36 AM)
quote: what was it that made you realise you were for the BDSM world For me it was looking at the types of "kink" I enjoyed, the types of relationships I was attracted too. My preferences were all over the board and changed dramatically based on the situation. Once I examined them closely I saw a common theme. All were related to a dynamic of control, authority, or power. It was a "duh" moment, as I was familiar with bdsm but certain aspects had turned me off and thus I failed to identify with it for a long time.

sub4hire -> RE: Am I or Aren't I ? (12/16/2005 11:50:31 AM)
quote: Anyway, I have a question (one of many no doubt) what was it that made you realise you were for the BDSM world? I don't know that I am cut out for the BDSM world. Parts of it I am. I definately am cut out for the power exchange part aka D/s. The B part aka Bondage. SM...well really not so much. Basically what I am saying here is, you need to define what it is for you. When I hear "the BDSM world" I automatically think of play only. Play is a mere fetish. The lifestyle goes much deeper than just a fetish. For some it doesn't. So, define what it is to you and go with that.

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Am I or Aren't I ? (12/16/2005 12:06:47 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: sub4hire Play is a mere fetish. The lifestyle goes much deeper than just a fetish. For some it doesn't. So, define what it is to you and go with that. Play can be a lot more than just fetish. There can be a lot of emotion and spirituality connected with any type of activity, including bdsm type ones, perfectly comparable to the depth of one's lifestyle.

sub4hire -> RE: Am I or Aren't I ? (12/16/2005 12:09:26 PM)
quote: There can be a lot of emotion and spirituality connected with any type of activity, including bdsm type ones, perfectly comparable to the depth of one's lifestyle. There can also be nothing attached, which was the point I was making. It depends upon the individuals involved.

AlderTheKitty -> RE: Am I or Aren't I ? (12/16/2005 12:26:22 PM)
it was the realization that i wanted someone who could lead me through life and teach me how to make them happy i knew i wanted to be a slave subconiously before i know about bdsm

slavejali -> RE: Am I or Aren't I ? (12/16/2005 1:09:17 PM)
The underlying dynamics of a Master/slave relationship really resonated with me. I'm kinda adventurous too so the play is a fun time for me and a nice addition.

nephandi -> RE: Am I or Aren't I ? (12/16/2005 2:00:06 PM)
For me it was realising both that i had the need to be under somone`s control and the wish to feel sexual pain, and this i realised rather young.

Manawyddan -> RE: Am I or Aren't I ? (12/17/2005 7:17:06 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Flummoxed Hi, I'm very new to all this, and not even sure if BDSM is my thing. Welcome to the neighborhood! quote: But maybe I have been denying my true self. Maybe. Or maybe not. It's entirely possible that you enjoy having bdsm fantasies, but will never enjoy the actual act. That's perfectly legitimate. Some folks enjoy playing Masters and slaves online while they have no interest in ever doing it iRL, and that's legitimate too (so long as they don't confuse it with the 'real thing' and realise it's just interactive porn). quote: Anyway, I have a question (one of many no doubt) what was it that made you realise you were for the BDSM world? As far back as I remember having sexual fantasies, they were about bondage, torture and control. quote: I'm confused, and frightened It is a little frightening, but at its best it frightening like a roller coaster ride. Just keep your wits and common sense about you at all times. If you want to write privately to discuss whatnot, feel free, though you have other such offers on the thread (and I suspect you'd prefer to chat things over with another woman, anyway).

foxglove716 -> RE: Am I or Aren't I ? (12/17/2005 10:28:05 AM)
Maybe your confused because some aspects of bdsm really rock your boat but other things arent for you. Just go with what works for you and everything else will fall into place.

willing2serve -> RE: Am I or Aren't I ? (12/18/2005 12:27:52 PM)
quote: Anyway, I have a question (one of many no doubt) what was it that made you realise you were for the BDSM world? For me, i had all of the thoughts and ideas of bdsm, but i didnt know there was terminology for what i thought or felt until i was introduced to the lifestyle. So for me it was a inner comfort to finally realize my place. So, i never had fears, I curiously embraced every thought, feeling and teaching and STILL do after 5 years. Im always openly curious. I've not had the fears or denial of who i am. So dont know how much of a comfort my words can be. Best wishes, BTs willing

candystripper -> RE: Am I or Aren't I ? (12/18/2005 3:50:15 PM)
quote: what was it that made you realise you were for the BDSM world? littleone quote: the fact that there was a name for the desires that burned inside me :) IrishMist Yup, yup. (Boy, is IrishMist bright!) candystripper

Manawyddan -> RE: Am I or Aren't I ? (12/24/2005 7:29:21 AM)
Btw, is "Aren't I" grammatically correct? There needs to be a word like "Amn't I." Actually there is: the proper contraction of "Am not I" is "Ain't I," but for some peculiar reason the grammatical forces that be have decided that this eminently useful contraction is illegitimate.

xxblushesxx -> RE: Am I or Aren't I ? (12/24/2005 8:48:38 AM)
I agree with many here.... When I realized that what I had dreamt of and fantasized of, was actually being lived and practiced by others... and that I could choose to as well... wow! What a thought!

peppermint379 -> RE: Am I or Aren't I ? (12/24/2005 9:00:20 AM)
quote: Anyway, I have a question (one of many no doubt) what was it that made you realise you were for the BDSM world? If you discover the world of BDSM and it lights a fire in you, it "might" be right for you. After having that fire lit, if you begin to read everything you can and hungrily want to know more, then it "might" be for you. Once you've read everything you can find, if you do a soul searching and discover that BDSM answers those questions about you that you could never before find the answers to, then BDSM "might" be right for you. So far this path should have taken you many months, or as in my case, years. At this point i found a trusted Mentor, one who could give me a taste of what the BDSM world was all about. Experiencing what i'd only read and thought about before made me realize that this was what was missing from my life. It was only then that i knew for certain that i was part of the BDSM world. The hardest part of all this was the soul searching. What i call "skeletons in the closet"...past events had to be relived if only in my thoughts. It was time to lay those skeletons to rest so that i could be free to start this new path.

ToServeIsToLive -> RE: Am I or Aren't I ? (12/24/2005 7:50:40 PM)
As i learn more and more things consistantly fit with personal beliefs and feelings i've had for most of my life. i pretty much realized as soon as i saw it existed.

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