Is mental incapacity in a person a deal breaker for you

Is mental incapacity in a person a deal breaker for you (Full Version)

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lobodomslavery -> Is mental incapacity in a person a deal breaker for you (11/3/2008 11:37:04 AM)
Good evening folks. This arises out of a point a Domme made in relation to the last thread. She knows about my history of depression which i am presently almost fully recovered from. However be that as it may She, stated that She would never recruit a slave or sub who had mental incapacities. i would like to get more feedback on this. Ladies/Dommes/Doms, if you knew a potential servant had in the past or has now mental health problems would you refuse to recruit that person on the basis that he/she had mental health difficulties alone, in my case it is irrelevant as She lives 6,000 miles from me, geographical distance alone excludes me and i accept that, but if a servant lived in your area would you refuse to recruit him/her as Your slave/sub based on this alone even if he/she was almost fully recovered from this. Do you share the view that a slave/sub who has or had in the past mental capacities but is now on the road to recovery is nonetheless mind wise permanently scarred, are they incapable of giving consent. And subs/slaves of both genders would you refuse to serve a Mistress if you found out that She had in the past or has now mental health difficulties. Just thought id throw this out to the group. Finally Dommes/Dom if you recruited a servant and discovered down the line that he/she had developed depression or became depressed in service, would this be just cause for dismissal and subs slaves male/female would you leave a Mistress if you discovered She had mental health problems.

RCdc -> RE: Is mental incapacity in a person a deal breaker for you (11/3/2008 11:39:55 AM)
Totally dependant on the mental trauma. But on the whole, I don't find it an issue. I am more focused on how they reacted and dealt with the issues, than the issue itself. the.dark.

lobodomslavery -> RE: Is mental incapacity in a person a deal breaker for you (11/3/2008 11:46:47 AM)
Thank you Sir. it is good to know that there are Dominants who have good awareness Thank you for your contribution kevin

antipode -> RE: Is mental incapacity in a person a deal breaker for you (11/3/2008 11:48:22 AM)
The problem I have with your posting is that you say you're "almost fully recovered". First of all, functionally, that does not really exist - you're either recovered or you aren't. So the answer, from my perspective, is then that you have, by saying that, declared that you are still ill, and I won't touch an ill person unless I have very detailed knowledge of the illness, and a good reason to take up with them. I don't generally think it would be responsible, either. The other red flag is that you equate depression with mental incapacity. Mental incapacity is something totally distinct from clinical depression. People with clinical depression may function normally, in a person with mental incapacity functioning is affected, or even impaired. Why do you use these two different illnesses synonymously?

RCdc -> RE: Is mental incapacity in a person a deal breaker for you (11/3/2008 11:50:34 AM)
Hello again! It's actually the.dark. posting (we have a joint profile) and I am Darcy's .girl. - so I am placing it from a s-types POV. Be safe the.dark.

xXLithiumXx -> RE: Is mental incapacity in a person a deal breaker for you (11/3/2008 11:54:26 AM)
I was recently involved with a sub who had mental incapacities. She played them off very well to begin with, then as time went on, she became worse. It is debatable as if this is my fault for putting on her what I felt she could handle based on conversations, or her own fault for not taking her meds and seeking help as she was supposed to. For that reason alone, I would never take on another sub who had what I could plainly see as diminished capabilities. The threat for homocide or suicide is too great and not a factor I am willing to risk. Basically, this life style touches on every aspect of a person, and some forms of bondage can take a person deep into who they are as a person. Factually, going in depth with some one who is "almost" recovered, is just as dangerous as going in depth with some one who has no kind of help, but needs it, and in some cases just as dangerous as going in depth with some one who is perfectly healthy, if the pre-disposition for mental disease is there. In my case, the time I spent with the girl, was worth while in that it strengthened my marriage and me as a person, but it almost cost me everything I owned and my own sanity to do it. Not a risk I am willing to take again for some one who isnt willing to help themselves.

lobodomslavery -> RE: Is mental incapacity in a person a deal breaker for you (11/3/2008 11:56:15 AM)
Well Sir i will explain. You are absolutely correct mental incapacity is not the same as Depression. i do not have mental incapacity. i did suffer from depression up to a year ago. Unfortunately there are people who view both in the same way. Once i told the group that i suffered from depression, i was labelled by a Domme as mentally incapable. The two are completely separate but sadly others do not discern the difference they see the two as the same. But hey that is going to happen in a group forum the size of this. Obviously there will be people with pre conceived notions about others and here is the forum to express this. By the way i dont infer You have preconceived notions , You obviously dont as like me, You appreciate that there is a difference between depression and mental incapacity. The self esteem issues i have do not confine me to a bed all day, i am not in hospital and im currently doing a diploma in IT so i am as capable as the next , its just im the one in four if You like that experienced depression kevin kevin

lobodomslavery -> RE: Is mental incapacity in a person a deal breaker for you (11/3/2008 11:58:14 AM)
i dont share your view Miss but i respect it, thats what this group is about having a fluid and diverse set of opinions freely expressed. Thank you Miss kevin

Monkeyontuesday -> RE: Is mental incapacity in a person a deal breaker for you (11/3/2008 12:02:55 PM)
I don't agree. Firstly, I equate "mental incapacity" as a retardation of sorts. Secondly, one can be coping with issues. Depending on the severity of the issue it can take years and years. Many illnesses people do not ever fully recover from, as they are taking meds or seeking therapy of some sort and thus they are a part of one's everyday life. Don't even get me started on relapses and having it "get to you" in general every now and again. I don't see why depression should be any different from, say, molestation, when I read Lithium's reply, specifically "Basically, this life style touches on every aspect of a person, and some forms of bondage can take a person deep into who they are as a person." It can take you into insecurities regardless of whether you are formally diagnosed or not. Oh, and every family has a history of mental illness. It's pretty much inescapable.

sirsholly -> RE: Is mental incapacity in a person a deal breaker for you (11/3/2008 12:04:09 PM)
A history of depression would not be an issue with me (although i am not a Domme) provided the person was being treated or had been treated through medication, therapy or both.

OmegaG -> RE: Is mental incapacity in a person a deal breaker for you (11/3/2008 12:09:39 PM)
If someone is declared to have a deminished mental capacity then it is quite possible that by law they are not capeable of caring for themselves so what you ask in general coveres a spectrum of those who have issues that need drugs and treatment in order to maintain normalcy to those who cannot concent to anything and must rely on a guardian to make daily decisions. Even depression can cause a person to become incapeable of daily choices and unable to maintain what is considered normal daily routines when it is at it's worse. It's hard to know unless one were to meet someone exactly where he/she fit on the spectrum. My mother and out family suffered with her depression, it's not something I would seek out, and no, I would not recruit a person with a known mental illness. Furthur, depression is never cured, it's only controlled.

DesFIP -> RE: Is mental incapacity in a person a deal breaker for you (11/3/2008 12:14:40 PM)
I don't consider a history of depression to be equivalent to being incapable of knowing right from wrong, healthy from nonhealthy for me. I have a history of depression. That doesn't mean I'm incapacitated. However anyone that uninformed about such a common illness as depression which I've seen stats saying 1 in 4 will suffer from an episode of in their life is not someone I am willing to have a relationship of any kind with. I hold the same standards toward mental illness as I do towards physical. If you are proactive, seek help, follow treatment plans and take ownership of your issues, then you are someone I want to know. If you have a suspicious lump and refuse to see a doctor, spend all your time worrying that you're going to die, I don't want to deal with you. Go to the doctor and assess treatment. Need a lift to and from your radiation treatments? I'll be there. Don't do anything about it and I won't. Same with mental illness, emotional disorders. With that said, I'm not sure I would start a relationship with someone with a terminal illness who won't be here in six months. And there are some mental illnesses that I might feel too draining for me to deal with. But that's me protecting myself and knowing how much I do and don't have to give. It isn't because I think them the equivalent of minors who aren't capable of knowing what they want.

DiurnalVampire -> RE: Is mental incapacity in a person a deal breaker for you (11/3/2008 12:17:32 PM)
I would not say it was a dealbreaker, though it would sigificantly elongate the consideration period. I would need to know hands down and under no uncertain circumstances that they are capable of controlling their problems. I am bipolar myself, so I know that having it and being controlled by it are two very different things. If you can handle it, then having a mental issue to me is no problem. However, if you refuse to treat it, cannot handle it or worse use it as a crutch and blame all your shortcomings on it then it is a dealbreaker. Like I said, since I have it I also know it can be dealt with but it takes work. If you arent willing to make that effort then you arent going to make a good servant. You will have one mistress and that will be your issue, not me. DV

Monkeyontuesday -> RE: Is mental incapacity in a person a deal breaker for you (11/3/2008 12:22:26 PM)
applauds DV Very nicely done, my friend.

lobodomslavery -> RE: Is mental incapacity in a person a deal breaker for you (11/3/2008 12:37:43 PM)
Thank you for your kind response Ma'am i am coping well. i have my ups and downs but have not been hospitalised or felt low in over a year kevin

lobodomslavery -> RE: Is mental incapacity in a person a deal breaker for you (11/3/2008 12:40:51 PM)
Thank you Miss. i believe it is a question of attitude as well. i have a positive attitude to life and i dont let the depression overcome me or get me down, in fact i have not been depresssed in over a year and am almost fully recovered kevin

Monkeyontuesday -> RE: Is mental incapacity in a person a deal breaker for you (11/3/2008 12:44:44 PM)
Also, if one chooses not to engage themselves with someone who has a mental illness (which almost requires its own definition.. is a phobia or past experience issues a mental illness..? One could argue they are), one must decide whether or not it's appropriate in cases where it is seasonal. Many people who have bi polar disorder or depression suffer from it seasonally -- they are manic (in the case of BPD) in the summer and become depressed in the winter. For one that does not desire that situation, would it be prudent to only be around the individual in the summer?

VampiresLair -> RE: Is mental incapacity in a person a deal breaker for you (11/3/2008 12:45:25 PM)
Is this specifically about you? Or are you interested in answers in general?

lobodomslavery -> RE: Is mental incapacity in a person a deal breaker for you (11/3/2008 12:47:19 PM)
i just want to gain a general perspective on how people view this , obviously its a subject close to my heart so obviously when i talk i will talk a bit about me personally, but no in answer to your question, just a general overview, i know its an emotive issue and there will be differing view which makes it exciting for me kevin

Monkeyontuesday -> RE: Is mental incapacity in a person a deal breaker for you (11/3/2008 12:47:43 PM)
Edited cause Im silly. :p

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