RE: Being Bi within this lifestyle (Full Version)

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servantheart -> RE: Being Bi within this lifestyle (11/4/2008 3:33:53 PM)

My feelings have nothing to do with Sir, though He certainly isn't against the idea of me being with another woman.  I had a sister slave at one time, but that was before I was comfortable admitting my feelings, much less acting on them other than some occasional casual exploration.  I am more comfortable with men, but do find myself spending a fair amount of time thinking about women and being with a woman.  As I've gotten older, I've come to embrace these desires within myself. 
 



candystripper -> RE: Being Bi within this lifestyle (11/4/2008 3:47:04 PM)

Thanks for this Op, allthatjazz.
 
I still don't understand how a straight person can have a "kink' for a bisexual partner, myself.  I always thought sraight referred to one with a desire not only for a member of the 'opposite sex' but also one who was themselves hetro. I mean, ya, I knew straight guys often got excited at the idea of a 3some, but that didn't mean they wanted to do it with lesbians. 
 
I knew that some straight men have fantasies about lesbians, but they always seemed to involve 'changing their minds' and 'making' them straight.  My lesbian girlfrinds have been plagued with unwanted attention for just this very reason by horndogs over the years.
 
I don't notice the same phenom among GL people; I can't remember coming across a profile of any homosexal CM member seeking a bisexal partner.  Does this happen too?
 
I have no preconceptions about what sexual orientation a bisexual person would 'usually' desire in a partner.  Is there any trends amoung bisexual people on the matter?   Do most bisexual people like to gather with others as straight and GL people often do? I mean like, are there bisexual bars somewhere?
 
Where have bisexual people been all these years?  I knew there were GL people pretty much as soon as I knew where babies come from.  They're not hard to meet by any means.  I've met TV/TG people from time to time as well over the years.
 
So how come I've never met any bisexual people?  I would hate to think they  feel some need to 'stay in the closet'. I've watched the level of hatred for homosexuals begin to fade off in real life -- thank Gawd.

I  didn't know human sexuality was as nuanced as it is till I began learning about D/s.  I'm still learning, and now I believe I always will be.
candystripper  [sm=pole.gif]
 
 



CalifChick -> RE: Being Bi within this lifestyle (11/4/2008 3:52:48 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: candystripper

I still don't understand how a straight person can have a "kink' for a bisexual partner, myself.  I always thought sraight referred to one with a dessire not only for a member of the 'opposite sex' but also one was themselves hetro.


"Straight" refers to yourself, not others around you.  If you're a straight man, then you're interested in women.  What those women are interested in is irrelevant to your orientation.

I don't understand your reference to someone having a "kink" for a partner that is not like them... unless you're just making an observation that has nothing to do with the discussion so far. 


Cali



CallaFirestormBW -> RE: Being Bi within this lifestyle (11/4/2008 5:07:12 PM)

I am truly bi, and have lived for a decade in a committed relationship with my Darling, who is female. I've also had committed male partners, and even a couple of trans mates. For me, it is the person beneath the skin that draws my affection.

My Darling is bi, leaning het -- but she -also- shares an affectionate, decade+long committed same-gender relationship. For her, it was -completely- the fact that she fell in love with the PERSON, not the body.

Lust can depend on the body, but IMO, commitment, family, and lasting affection... is about the person beneath the skin.




CallaFirestormBW -> RE: Being Bi within this lifestyle (11/4/2008 5:15:50 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: candystripper

Thanks for this Op, allthatjazz.
 
I still don't understand how a straight person can have a "kink' for a bisexual partner, myself.  I always thought sraight referred to one with a desire not only for a member of the 'opposite sex' but also one who was themselves hetro. I mean, ya, I knew straight guys often got excited at the idea of a 3some, but that didn't mean they wanted to do it with lesbians. 
 
I knew that some straight men have fantasies about lesbians, but they always seemed to involve 'changing their minds' and 'making' them straight.  My lesbian girlfrinds have been plagued with unwanted attention for just this very reason by horndogs over the years.
 
I don't notice the same phenom among GL people; I can't remember coming across a profile of any homosexal CM member seeking a bisexal partner.  Does this happen too?
 
I have no preconceptions about what sexual orientation a bisexual person would 'usually' desire in a partner.  Is there any trends amoung bisexual people on the matter?   Do most bisexual people like to gather with others as straight and GL people often do? I mean like, are there bisexual bars somewhere?
 
Where have bisexual people been all these years?  I knew there were GL people pretty much as soon as I knew where babies come from.  They're not hard to meet by any means.  I've met TV/TG people from time to time as well over the years.
 
So how come I've never met any bisexual people?  I would hate to think they  feel some need to 'stay in the closet'. I've watched the level of hatred for homosexuals begin to fade off in real life -- thank Gawd.

I  didn't know human sexuality was as nuanced as it is till I began learning about D/s.  I'm still learning, and now I believe I always will be.
candystripper  [sm=pole.gif]
 
 


My Darling never considered herself anything but het... until she fell in love with a woman. She considers herself 'bi' now... with the qualification that she is interested in men, but because she fell in love with a woman once, she doesn't discount the possibility that it might happen again.

"Straight" basically means "I am physically attracted to the opposite gender, and not really turned on by my own"--it is a statement of self, not of anyone else's behavior... but it's been my experience over the years that 'straight', 'bi', 'het', 'gay', etc., do not regulate the process of -love-... only the process of sexual attraction.



AquaticSub -> RE: Being Bi within this lifestyle (11/4/2008 5:19:43 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: candystripper

So how come I've never met any bisexual people?  I would hate to think they  feel some need to 'stay in the closet'. I've watched the level of hatred for homosexuals begin to fade off in real life -- thank Gawd.


There is actually a good deal of disdain and even hatred towards bisexuals from all sides of the fence. Even homosexuals will look down at those who identify as bisexual for a number of reasons. One of the oddest experiences I ever had online was being the moderator for a bisexual support group with open membership and dealing with a group of homosexuals and heterosexuals that flamed such groups, posting porn that depicted murder, animals and defacation in a group with lots of minors.



Twicehappy2x -> RE: Being Bi within this lifestyle (11/4/2008 5:24:07 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: CalifChick

I am what I call "opportunistically bisexual".  I don't seek out women to have relationships, or even booty calls... but if we're in each other's vicinity and the stars align correctly and all that other b.s. ... then things might just get REALLLL friendly.


That would describe me best as well. I am more likely to have sex with a female i am comfortable being around.
 
Though when i was younger i did enjoy the cute pick them up and play with them, then give them cab fare type quite a bit.



celticlord2112 -> RE: Being Bi within this lifestyle (11/4/2008 5:35:29 PM)

Speaking only for myself, as a dominant (and straight) male, I have never and would never want my slave to partake of anything sexual with anyone other than me simply to "please" me.  I neither encourage nor discourage my slave where her sexuality is concerned, other than to express her true nature, however it is.

So long as she continues to believe I'm God's gift to women, it's all good! [8D]



gauguin -> RE: Being Bi within this lifestyle (11/4/2008 5:47:04 PM)

I am "lifestyle bi", I guess.

I play with male dominants too, and giving oral or receiving anal is act of submission. Very humiliating though, because as straight guy I should not... While in sub-space I perceive myself as genderless subject controlled by dominants and supposed to please them.

Many guys enjoy strap-on play, some even perform "oral" on it, are they bi then? I just made a step further in submission.




Quivver -> RE: Being Bi within this lifestyle (11/4/2008 6:24:40 PM)

I consider myself selectively Bi.  Selectively for attraction chosen in a similar manner as I would with a Man, although I can not see myself ever being in a romantic relationship with another woman.  Bi is fun.  Give me a Man for long term.  



loveandlight87 -> RE: Being Bi within this lifestyle (11/4/2008 6:39:35 PM)

I consider myself bi (on the scale between a 2 and 3).  I get the stutters with women though, so I have not had as much experience as I would like.  Like several have mentioned, for me it is about the person.  I have had short term relationships with women in the past.  And as far as my Sir asking for that in our play ... He has left that entirely in my court, including his level of participation.  I would however be perfectly comfortable should he request it of me.

love

ps: Much prefer giving than receiving



colouredin -> RE: Being Bi within this lifestyle (11/4/2008 6:46:20 PM)

FR

I am Bi have been for as long as ive fancied people, i have subbed to both men and women, however i dont think I would be a permant sub to a woman, that may mostly be becuase I have never been attracted to one in that way, I may be making wild generalisations but I have found that male dominance is differant from female (just as male and female submission differs) so i dont think I would want a relationship with a woman with the D/s dynamic, of course thats open to change.

I dont get the whole being bi for your dominant thing, bi is an oriantation either you are or you arent. so i wouldnt do it purely for that reason nope.



mc1234 -> RE: Being Bi within this lifestyle (11/4/2008 6:54:11 PM)

I'm Bi with a stronger preference for men.  Like others, given a situation with another woman I found attractive, I'd definitely have fun with her, but it's a play thing, not a relationship thing with me.  And i'd much rather give than receive.  [:)]



FetishRose -> RE: Being Bi within this lifestyle (11/4/2008 6:55:39 PM)

I am bisexual, with a preference for women.  Although currently (and if things work out, eternally) in a relationship with a man, I adore women.  I am far more attracted to the feminine shape, a womanly mind, etc.  Before my current boyfriend, I had meaningful and wonderful relationships with women, while boys were always more of a play thing.



LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Being Bi within this lifestyle (11/4/2008 7:07:44 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: allthatjaz
are you truly comfortable with someone the same sex as your self?

Yes.
quote:

 Would you have a relationship with someone the same sex?

Yes
quote:

 or is it something you would do to please your Dominant?

Yes (it can be both)

In the hetero scene, the majority of "bi chicks" are mostly just "bi when really horny and voyueristic" or "bi when he tells me to do stuff to her" or "bi when fairly inebriated"

But there are plenty who legitimately and genuinely find themselves attracted to and fulfilled by intimate relationships with females.



CruelDesires -> RE: Being Bi within this lifestyle (11/4/2008 7:15:26 PM)

First off, I am not bi. At all. :-)

One thing that I have noticed over the years. I have read alot of profiles while perusing the bdsm sites and had noticed that most fem submissive profiles I started looking at back in the late 90's were all straight. Then over the years I began to see more and more of them listed as bisexual. Is being bi more in fashion do you think? Or is it that more and more people are becoming more open with their expressions of sexuality?

C-D



faithbunny -> RE: Being Bi within this lifestyle (11/4/2008 7:54:01 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: JustDarkness

Don't you have to be bi-curious before you actually do it with some one.
With most things you become curious/interested first.


No. Were you straight-curious before you were straight?

~faith



Lynnxz -> RE: Being Bi within this lifestyle (11/4/2008 8:01:38 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: CruelDesires

First off, I am not bi. At all. :-)

One thing that I have noticed over the years. I have read alot of profiles while perusing the bdsm sites and had noticed that most fem submissive profiles I started looking at back in the late 90's were all straight. Then over the years I began to see more and more of them listed as bisexual. Is being bi more in fashion do you think? Or is it that more and more people are becoming more open with their expressions of sexuality?

C-D


I think so- I call them the barsexual girls, only intrerested in other girls when the boy is around to watch. It's an annoying form of attention whoring, that got my hopes up last Friday. :P

To be fair, I wouldn't consider myself to be completely bisexual, whatever that means. I've yet to meet a girl that I'd like to be in a relationship with, but I have no qualms about playing around with another female, especially in a bdsm context.



WinsomeDefiance -> RE: Being Bi within this lifestyle (11/4/2008 8:03:59 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: allthatjaz

For those of us within this lifestyle that are bi.... are you truly comfortable with someone the same sex as your self? Would you have a relationship with someone the same sex? or is it something you would do to please your Dominant?

For those that have in a profile 'bi curious' Is it mainly because Master/Dominant wants a 3rd party and your willing to go along with that or is it that you genuinly crave to have sex with someone the same sex as yourself?



I list Bisexual in my profile.  I'm not involved with anyone, male or female and I didn't list it to please anyone but myself. 

I find women more attractive - asthetically - than men, I love how soft they are, I love how amazing their kisses are, and I have a major breast fixation.  Women are sexy creatures, what's not to lust after?  They touch the artistic aspects of my nature.  When I draw or paint, I paint women.

However, I find men more viscerallly attractive.  I love how I feel when I'm being towered over by a commanding male presence, and I love the feel of strong arms wrapped about me and a deep voice growling in my ear.  Men are sexy beasts, what's not to lust after?  They reach the little girl and submissive in me.  When I'm hurt, I want a man's lap to crawl up in. 

Umm, did I answer the OP?



BLGirl -> RE: Being Bi within this lifestyle (11/4/2008 8:29:53 PM)

I was born as I am, whatever that is. I wish that we could just be who and what we are without labeling ourselves as this or that. However, we do not live in that world. Having said that, I am bi, have always been bi, and will always be, bi. Even if I were a man, I would be bi, it is just what/who I am. When I discuss it with people, I explain it like this, "I am not straight, and not totally bent, I am just slightly curved."
Opportunistic bi-sexuality can be fun, but it is also nice to see, pursue, and dazzle a woman, ultimately culminating in a fulfilling relationship. Long story short for me, if I meet a person, it is a person, not a male or female, but an individual that either possesses what I am attracted to or not.
As to Daddy wanting me to engage in a bi-sexual activities, what man doesn't want to watch two girls getting it on? He isn't any different, but he would never ask me to do that, he leaves my sexuality up to me, of course now, if I offered.... The funny thing is, that he is equally turned on by the thought of watching me go down on a man, as he is, watching me go down on a woman, as long as I am being of service and being used all is fabulous! Good for me, huh?



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