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MY stupid mistakes and what they did to me - 11/4/2008 7:05:20 PM   
thatstheway


Posts: 24
Joined: 9/25/2007
Status: offline 		I was lucky enough to be at Club Exit one night to meet the woman who would introduce me to the world of BDSM and what I found to be the greatest experience I have ever had in my life. I was in the club and she flogged me. I have never been flogged before but the amount of pain and discomfort she brought was just the beginning of this mighty adventure. She told me to take my shirt off so she could hit me harder, I was scared but I knew what I had to do to please her and I did. The flogging became harder and I became more nervous. It was amazing. I never felt so close to someone in my life like this. I knew this woman was going to change me, and my feeling for pain, love, and more things that I cant stop thanking her for. We chatted more on the site, and she allowed me to meet her one night and take her to dinner. The waiter was a little wierd, but I really connected to her and enjoyed my meal with this beautiful goddess. Following the meal she allowed me to join her in the dungeon, and experience what I was waiting for since the day I met her. She tied me to the cross, and tears went down my cheek as she brushed her nails down my back and made me shiver. Then she allowed me to lay on my back and take a beating, I knew this woman was amazing. Following the dungeon she invited me back to her lovely home, where she let me enjoy my fantasty of being tied and bound hard and tight. She beat me, and hurt me in ways unimaginable. Then the best thing that ever happened to me happened. Her lips met mine and to this day I cant find a better feeling than it. Her soft breasts in my face gave me feelings that I couldnt stop enjoying. We continued to meet at her house once more and that night was amazing, she even finished it off with making me some delicious meatballs. Soon afterwards I was an idiot and sent some mean texts and calls that I regret. I disrespected her in ways i regret more than the world. I am an asshole. I treated her like a piece of shit. If i had a time machine i would take back my words. I would paint her house, clean for her, drive her around, carry her on my back if i had to. Anything to get back in her world. Anything to hear her sweet forgiving voice again.
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: MY stupid mistakes and what they did to me - 11/4/2008 7:10:51 PM   
SirMIkeSD


Posts: 613
Joined: 3/16/2007
From: San Diego, Ca
Status: offline 		Sounds like you have learned from your mistakes, just keep this in mind going forward and you will do ok.

Best of luck,
Mike

(in reply to thatstheway)
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RE: MY stupid mistakes and what they did to me - 11/4/2008 8:00:08 PM   
thatstheway


Posts: 24
Joined: 9/25/2007
Status: offline 		Thanks mike, I appreciate the advice.

(in reply to SirMIkeSD)
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RE: MY stupid mistakes and what they did to me - 11/4/2008 8:19:04 PM   
proudsub


Posts: 6142
Joined: 1/31/2004
From: Washington
Status: offline 		(fast reply)
You could try asking her forgiveness and ask her to read your post....or just let it go and move forward.

_____________________________

proudsub

"Without goals you become what you were. With goals you become what you wish." .

"You are entitled to your own opinions but not your own facts"--Alan Greenspan


(in reply to thatstheway)
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RE: MY stupid mistakes and what they did to me - 11/4/2008 9:15:39 PM   
MasterFireMaam


Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline 		Wisdom is knowledge that's gone to the heart. Often, the path it takes to get there is painful.

Master Fire


_____________________________

The power of who we are can be intoxicating. The power of who we could be is humbling.
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Ms Relationship Books
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BDSM How-To Books

(in reply to thatstheway)
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RE: MY stupid mistakes and what they did to me - 11/4/2008 9:36:50 PM   
DavanKael


Posts: 3072
Joined: 10/6/2007
Status: offline 		I agree with the previous posters: 
1) If you would like to make ammends, try.  If you mean something to her, perhaps she will allow you in her life again
2)Endeavor to interact more appropriately in the future (Why did you flip out on her anyway?)
  Davan


_____________________________

May you live as long as you wish & love as long as you live
-Robert A Heinlein

It's about the person & the bond,not the bondage
-Me

Waiting is

170NZ (Aka:Sex God Du Jour) pts

Jesus,I've ALWAYS been a deviant
-Leadership527,Jeff

(in reply to MasterFireMaam)
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RE: MY stupid mistakes and what they did to me - 11/4/2008 9:45:56 PM   
thatstheway


Posts: 24
Joined: 9/25/2007
Status: offline 		I was stupid

(in reply to DavanKael)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: MY stupid mistakes and what they did to me - 11/4/2008 10:00:05 PM   
DavanKael


Posts: 3072
Joined: 10/6/2007
Status: offline 		Dude, you've made that clear. Elucidate.  That means say more than "I was stupid". 
  Davan

_____________________________

May you live as long as you wish & love as long as you live
-Robert A Heinlein

It's about the person & the bond,not the bondage
-Me

Waiting is

170NZ (Aka:Sex God Du Jour) pts

Jesus,I've ALWAYS been a deviant
-Leadership527,Jeff

(in reply to thatstheway)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: MY stupid mistakes and what they did to me - 11/4/2008 10:20:46 PM   
ProlificNeeds


Posts: 1061
Joined: 5/19/2007
Status: offline 		Doesn't really matter why does it? Technicalities do not justify or erase a mistake. If the mistake has been identified, it is up to the OP to then learn from said mistake.

As for you OP, at the very least you should let her know you do understand and recognize your mistake, even if she doesn't want to be involved with you further, extending the effort to make amends and apologize, may help HER feel better about what happened between the two of you as well.

(in reply to DavanKael)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: MY stupid mistakes and what they did to me - 11/4/2008 10:30:20 PM   
DavanKael


Posts: 3072
Joined: 10/6/2007
Status: offline 		I am not the Domme he offended so I don't know if the why matters.  I am trying to ascertain what his thinking was in an attempt to gain more infromation with which to attempt to assist him. 
He may choose to answer or not. 
  Davan

_____________________________

May you live as long as you wish & love as long as you live
-Robert A Heinlein

It's about the person & the bond,not the bondage
-Me

Waiting is

170NZ (Aka:Sex God Du Jour) pts

Jesus,I've ALWAYS been a deviant
-Leadership527,Jeff

(in reply to ProlificNeeds)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: MY stupid mistakes and what they did to me - 11/5/2008 3:57:29 AM   
thatstheway


Posts: 24
Joined: 9/25/2007
Status: offline 		IM just trying to fix the problem, I know I cant take my words or actions back but I just want to fix what i did

(in reply to DavanKael)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: MY stupid mistakes and what they did to me - 11/5/2008 4:12:15 AM   
SoulPiercer


Posts: 374
Joined: 5/27/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DavanKael
I am not the Domme he offended so I don't know if the why matters.  I am trying to ascertain what his thinking was in an attempt to gain more infromation with which to attempt to assist him. 
He may choose to answer or not. 
Davan


Valid point. We can give him all the advice we want. But, the "why" is the wildcard. The "why" could make all of our advice useless.

I've read the post. It takes us straight from Point A to Point C, while leaving out Point B.

I'm pretty good at reading between the lines and can probably guess what happened. But unless the OP wishes to share that with us, we can't know if our advice will help or not.

_____________________________

Do you have any idea how many bones you have left for me to break? - Batman

(in reply to DavanKael)
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RE: MY stupid mistakes and what they did to me - 11/5/2008 4:28:46 AM   
lusciouslips19


Posts: 9792
Joined: 9/8/2007
Status: offline 		I assume he's new and he flipped out at what he was feeling and experienced inner revulsion of her and himself.

_____________________________

Original Pimpette,
Keeper of Original Home Flag and Fire of Mr. Lance Hughes
Charter member of Lance's Fag Hags,
Member of the Subbie Mafia
Princess of typos and it's my prerogative

(in reply to SoulPiercer)
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RE: MY stupid mistakes and what they did to me - 11/5/2008 4:57:26 AM   
Aileen1968


Posts: 6062
Joined: 12/12/2007
From: I miss Shore, New Jersey
Status: offline 		You gave up meatballs????  Oh no.  Dommes with meatballs are so hard to replace.

_____________________________



(in reply to thatstheway)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: MY stupid mistakes and what they did to me - 11/5/2008 5:02:13 AM   
colouredin


Posts: 4279
Joined: 2/2/2007
Status: offline 		FR

First part reads like wank fodder so im ignoring that, if you want advice on making ammends you will have to say what you actually did, and has been said most importantly why

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Resident Lime(y) Tart
There would be no gossip without secrets
I don't want to be anything other than what I've been trying to be lately

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(in reply to Aileen1968)
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RE: MY stupid mistakes and what they did to me - 11/5/2008 5:10:17 AM   
lusciouslips19


Posts: 9792
Joined: 9/8/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Aileen1968

You gave up meatballs????  Oh no.  Dommes with meatballs are so hard to replace.


I know. My Dom only makes meatloaf.

_____________________________

Original Pimpette,
Keeper of Original Home Flag and Fire of Mr. Lance Hughes
Charter member of Lance's Fag Hags,
Member of the Subbie Mafia
Princess of typos and it's my prerogative

(in reply to Aileen1968)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: MY stupid mistakes and what they did to me - 11/5/2008 5:23:32 AM   
VoicesInTheDark


Posts: 14
Joined: 10/19/2006
Status: offline 		Read some Zen...sounds like you placed expectations over the possibilities. The potency of your loss of virginity to her is often like the first rush of a heroin addict. The elusive search  to recreate bliss can be a bitter mistress to chase. Perhaps you possibly misinterpreted your importance to her...we can hear how important she was to you.

(in reply to colouredin)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: MY stupid mistakes and what they did to me - 11/5/2008 5:24:52 AM   
VoicesInTheDark


Posts: 14
Joined: 10/19/2006
Status: offline 		Ps...isnt meatloaf technically one large meatball?

(in reply to VoicesInTheDark)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: MY stupid mistakes and what they did to me - 11/5/2008 6:32:54 AM   
SimplyMichael


Posts: 7229
Joined: 1/7/2007
Status: offline 		How many of us didn't do stupid shit when we were that young?

I think perhaps the Domme either set boundaries using language the kid couldn't hear/understand or was unclear with the kid.  Sounds like he thought she was going to be his girlfriend and got hurt when that turned out not to be the case and immature people tend to get angry when they get hurt, that was a lesson it took me 20 years to unlearn so I think we can cut the kid a bit of slack here.  That sort of response even has a name, it is called being REACTIVE, something I still struggle with at times when my heart is in a vulnerable place.  I mean he DID have the maturity to own his mistakes and seek to correct them and so far, despite the somewhat snippy responses he has been civil.

Dude, there are roughly two types of people, those who forgive and those who don't.  If she won't forgive you are fucked.  If she will then GO SLOW.  What you need to show her by your ACTIONS is that you have learned, and you are going to have to be patient because you destroyed her trust and you are going to have to rebuild that.  You are going to have to accept whatever scraps she wants to give you and be happy with those and not beg/nag/whine for more. 

You are going to have to do some hard work communicating with each other what her boundaries are and even perhaps attempt to mirror them back in your own words so that the two of you CLEARLY understand what the hell you are doing so you don't turn into an idiot again.

The common problem male submissives have is they are whiney little bitches.  The ones who aren't stand out like diamonds in the dark.  It is your choice which you want to be. 

(in reply to VoicesInTheDark)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: MY stupid mistakes and what they did to me - 11/5/2008 10:10:10 AM   
DavanKael


Posts: 3072
Joined: 10/6/2007
Status: offline 		OP, you've gotten feedback from several people, including me, that why you chose to act that way is very important.  You're doing the classic boy thing of "I broke it, give me super glue" rather than seeking to understand the intricacies.  Don't you think that if the Domme you mentioned decides togive you another chance, that She'll want to understand what personal insight and growth you've gleaned from your time out of her presence as well as the experience of having posted this query? 
Davan

_____________________________

May you live as long as you wish & love as long as you live
-Robert A Heinlein

It's about the person & the bond,not the bondage
-Me

Waiting is

170NZ (Aka:Sex God Du Jour) pts

Jesus,I've ALWAYS been a deviant
-Leadership527,Jeff

(in reply to SimplyMichael)
Profile   Post #: 20
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