RE: Need some guidance.... on how to endure the pain?

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RE: Need some guidance.... on how to endure the pain? - 11/5/2008 7:53:29 PM

silkncarol

Posts: 318
Status: offline

For me anyway it helps if i process the pain into warmth and let it flow thru my body...... then focus on that warmth........

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Post #: 21

RE: Need some guidance.... on how to endure the pain? - 11/5/2008 8:21:37 PM

Barelily

Posts: 96
Joined: 10/8/2008
Status: offline

I used to just focus on the image of what I knew he was going to do to me afterwords, but everyone has different methods that work for them.

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Post #: 22

RE: Need some guidance.... on how to endure the pain? - 11/5/2008 9:23:16 PM

aravain

Posts: 1211
Joined: 8/26/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: softness

The level of pain you can tolerate (IMHO) has absolutely fuck all to do with your "trueness" as a masochist.

On second thought my word choice was a bit poor... and not exactly what I meant.

I meant something more along the lines of... "if you're actually interpreting the signals as pleasure, either with or instead of the pain, your threshold for 'pain' will increase naturally as you continue to play"

When I used the word 'true' in that sense I was indicating an actual, physiological response to the sensation...

sorry that that's not how it was read.

(in reply to softness)

Post #: 23

RE: Need some guidance.... on how to endure the pain? - 11/6/2008 8:16:06 AM

HisPrincess05

Posts: 23
Joined: 10/31/2008
Status: offline

Thank you all for the replies, i'm going to take each and everyone to heart... practice them all. You guys are great. I cant wait to get to know each of you. Please stay in touch. Smooches....

princess

(in reply to RainydayNE)

Post #: 24

RE: Need some guidance.... on how to endure the pain? - 11/6/2008 9:23:51 AM

allthatjaz

Posts: 2878
Joined: 8/20/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: myotherself

I have a mental 'place' I go to when the pain really starts to bite. I concentrate on stepping outside of the pain and becoming a kind of observer. I still feel it, but almost second-hand. I know I'm not making a lot of sense, but it's the only way I can think of to describe it.

Actually you make a whole load of sense. This is the place that I go to as well. I go into a very deep concentration and each full on strike takes me one step away from my own body. I never take pain because he wants me to take it for him but because I can take it for him and because I can disassociate my body the same way that you do, I find I sub space very quickly.

(in reply to myotherself)

Post #: 25

RE: Need some guidance.... on how to endure the pain? - 11/6/2008 9:37:49 AM

angelikaJ

Posts: 8641
Joined: 6/22/2007
Status: offline

I appreciate that you want to learn how to process pain... I really do.
Some submissives just aren't "pain sluts" and you know what?
There is nothing wrong with that.

But if you want to be able to better endure to please him because pleasing him is very important to you...then perhaps it would help to relate to the pain in a different way.
What does the pain..or more so the actions that are causing the pain represent to you...
if it is his control or his ownership of you then focus on that... and be your authentic self while you experience it fully.

edit: due to spelling

< Message edited by angelikaJ -- 11/6/2008 9:39:50 AM >

(in reply to HisPrincess05)

Post #: 26

RE: Need some guidance.... on how to endure the pain? - 11/6/2008 12:43:08 PM

daddysliloneds

Posts: 1351
Joined: 6/28/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: HisPrincess05

<snip>... machocists can you please help me and give me some tips on enduring what my master dishes out?

i'm a masochist, not a pain slut, therefore, i don't 'endure' didly squat! i gave up the notion of trying to endure for the sake of another a very long time ago. it only led to resentment on my part and ending the relationship due to lack of compatability.

(in reply to HisPrincess05)

Post #: 27

RE: Need some guidance.... on how to endure the pain? - 11/6/2008 12:48:10 PM

daddysliloneds

Posts: 1351
Joined: 6/28/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: aravain

<snip>...But I would tend to say: If you're truly masochistic you don't need help enduring the pain, you need to get used to it...<snip>

bullshit! would you get used to having the pain from broken ribs? or get used to the pain from having a car door slammed onto your hand? there is no reason whatsoever that anyone would need to 'endure' unless it's a choice; it's not a requirement of masochist. i'm a masochist, and i'm also not an idiot and i would never in a lifetime tell someone to 'get used to it' if they want to hang on to the title of 'masochist'; pain slut perhaps, but not masochist!

(in reply to aravain)

Post #: 28

RE: Need some guidance.... on how to endure the pain? - 11/6/2008 1:05:08 PM

fragilepieces

Posts: 416
Joined: 7/6/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: daddysliloneds

quote:

ORIGINAL: aravain

<snip>...But I would tend to say: If you're truly masochistic you don't need help enduring the pain, you need to get used to it...<snip>

bullshit! would you get used to having the pain from broken ribs? or get used to the pain from having a car door slammed onto your hand? there is no reason whatsoever that anyone would need to 'endure' unless it's a choice; it's not a requirement of masochist. i'm a masochist, and i'm also not an idiot and i would never in a lifetime tell someone to 'get used to it' if they want to hang on to the title of 'masochist'; pain slut perhaps, but not masochist!

Bravo! I had difficulty dealing with that word 'endure'---it reminded me of the beatings I took from my ex, I endured them---until I called the police and left.

(in reply to daddysliloneds)

Post #: 29

RE: Need some guidance.... on how to endure the pain? - 11/6/2008 2:06:44 PM

Chgolostnlooking

Posts: 46
Joined: 10/21/2008
Status: offline

Pain is so much more tolerated (for me, at least), if I just stop fighting it. If I just go with it - "This is what it's supposed to feel like".

Holding your breath makes it so much worse for me. Just breath - and when it comes, it just comes. I let out whatever noise is going to come out. I'll move but then concentrate (if I can), on relaxing. Just go with it.

(in reply to fragilepieces)

Post #: 30

RE: Need some guidance.... on how to endure the pain? - 11/6/2008 7:44:40 PM

aravain

Posts: 1211
Joined: 8/26/2008
Status: offline

Wow...

I apologize for being so wildly misread :(

Please make sure you read my second post as well...

I assumed that she *enjoys* the pain (which is what I meant by 'true' masochist, which I already admitted was a poor choice of words) and therefor *wants* to be able to experience (which is what I meant by endure, which wasn't my choice of word but I went with what was provided) more in the same sitting.

And, really, the only way to do that is by experiencing more (which is what I meant by 'getting used to it')

I had thought that the idea that it was *HER CHOICE* was implied by the fact that she *ASKED* how to endure more pain.

(in reply to fragilepieces)

Post #: 31

RE: Need some guidance.... on how to endure the pain? - 11/7/2008 7:29:15 AM

fragilepieces

Posts: 416
Joined: 7/6/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: aravain

Wow...

I apologize for being so wildly misread :(

Please make sure you read my second post as well...

I assumed that she *enjoys* the pain (which is what I meant by 'true' masochist, which I already admitted was a poor choice of words) and therefor *wants* to be able to experience (which is what I meant by endure, which wasn't my choice of word but I went with what was provided) more in the same sitting.

And, really, the only way to do that is by experiencing more (which is what I meant by 'getting used to it')

I had thought that the idea that it was *HER CHOICE* was implied by the fact that she *ASKED* how to endure more pain.

Endure sounded very negative.

(in reply to aravain)

Post #: 32

RE: Need some guidance.... on how to endure the pain? - 11/7/2008 7:31:54 AM

RainydayNE

Posts: 978
Joined: 10/21/2008
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the title of this thread uses "endure"
i think he was just using her own words
if it sounds negative, she used it first =p

(in reply to fragilepieces)

Post #: 33

RE: Need some guidance.... on how to endure the pain? - 11/7/2008 8:36:17 AM

BLGirl

Posts: 209
Joined: 10/17/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Chgolostnlooking

Pain is so much more tolerated (for me, at least), if I just stop fighting it. If I just go with it - "This is what it's supposed to feel like".

Holding your breath makes it so much worse for me. Just breath - and when it comes, it just comes. I let out whatever noise is going to come out. I'll move but then concentrate (if I can), on relaxing. Just go with it.

I identify with this completely! Others have talked about an almost out of body experience, which is great, but I always stay right there, feeling every bite, slap, paddle, and thrust. A lot of times I am crying face down into a pillow and Daddy worries that he is hurting me too bad. I have to beg him not to stop and tell him that he is doing exactly what I need him to do. It is funny, for me the truly painful part is when he stops.
Perhaps I am just weird like that?

Masochistically,
BLGirl

(in reply to Chgolostnlooking)

Post #: 34

RE: Need some guidance.... on how to endure the pain? - 11/7/2008 10:20:47 AM

softness

Posts: 2918
Joined: 8/1/2006
From: Leeds, UK
Status: offline

Tosses in the idea also that for some masochists the aim is not in fact to "enjoy" anything .. enjoy means to be in a state of joy ... I am not in a state of joy about a considerable number of the SM activities I particiapte in, while I am participating in them. I dont "enjoy" being in pain, or fear, or stress, or being humiliated, or pissed on, or ignored, or set to work scrubbing cat piss out the hall rug ..... I want to suffer .... I want to quake with terror .... I want to sob with the thought of more pain ... I want to quietly fume at mistreatment.

Some of the things I enjoy, I enjoy because I do not enjoy them.

I am not a pain slut ... and until the last year or so I was pretty hopeless at keeping myself going through painful play. I have learned to "endure" pain because it extends the time in which I can enjoy being in a state of physical suffering. For me, as soon as the pain goes away .. so does thephysical and then emotional suffering ... so does the pleasure I get as a masochist.

Unless of course I get cut down from the overhead piping ... kicked into a corner ... and left to shiver and cry like the a worthless piece of shit I have proven myself to be.

*purrrs gently to myself*

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(in reply to BLGirl)

Post #: 35

RE: Need some guidance.... on how to endure the pain? - 11/7/2008 11:39:29 AM

MasterTslave

Posts: 200
Joined: 8/24/2005
Status: offline

I tend to have a hard time remembering to breath right...when I do remember to do so, it is easier. I also have a hard time because many times Master T will intertwine pleasure with the pain...he will have me about to cum then swat me or flog me...then make me cum again...sometimes I get so confused I just cry...not because it hurts, but because my brain can't understand what it should be doing.

(in reply to RainydayNE)

Post #: 36

RE: Need some guidance.... on how to endure the pain? - 11/7/2008 12:16:58 PM

littlemisssnarf

Posts: 85
Joined: 8/28/2008
Status: offline

breathe as the others have said.....

in through the nose.... out through the mouth!

oh and sometimes crying helps me to release the physical through the mental - but it took Him some time to realise that the tears were ok and not because i felt like i was being pushed to far.....

hugs
x

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let the sun shine on your soul and smile...

(in reply to RainydayNE)

Post #: 37

RE: Need some guidance.... on how to endure the pain? - 11/7/2008 12:36:09 PM

persephonee

Posts: 5089
Joined: 12/15/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: softness

Tosses in the idea also that for some masochists the aim is not in fact to "enjoy" anything .. enjoy means to be in a state of joy ... I am not in a state of joy about a considerable number of the SM activities I particiapte in, while I am participating in them. I dont "enjoy" being in pain, or fear, or stress, or being humiliated, or pissed on, or ignored, or set to work scrubbing cat piss out the hall rug ..... I want to suffer .... I want to quake with terror .... I want to sob with the thought of more pain ... I want to quietly fume at mistreatment.

Some of the things I enjoy, I enjoy because I do not enjoy them.

I am not a pain slut ... and until the last year or so I was pretty hopeless at keeping myself going through painful play. I have learned to "endure" pain because it extends the time in which I can enjoy being in a state of physical suffering. For me, as soon as the pain goes away .. so does thephysical and then emotional suffering ... so does the pleasure I get as a masochist.

Unless of course I get cut down from the overhead piping ... kicked into a corner ... and left to shiver and cry like the a worthless piece of shit I have proven myself to be.

*purrrs gently to myself*

Gawd i love softness.....you are so my hero....

perse-painslut

_____________________________

You be the Captain; i'll be no one.

And You can carry me away....if You want to. ~Kasey Chambers

E*Whore, extraordinaire....

Nothing is exactly as it seems~Nor, is it otherwise.

(in reply to softness)

Post #: 38

RE: Need some guidance.... on how to endure the pain? - 11/7/2008 12:46:32 PM

persephonee

Posts: 5089
Joined: 12/15/2007
Status: offline

Okay...i do the breathing...i do the subbystomp...i rub the sting away if my hands are free and if im allowed to do so...i beg...i cry...and in the end, even when my head is shaking no and tears are running down my cheeks...my ass is still waggling around back there for one more strike.
If he wants to keep me going, he lets me get off...if hes getting tired of the exertion, he stings me into breaking. And break i will given enough sting.
In my living room im the worlds most wimpy masochist...on the cross, i can hold my own.
If youre able to communicate openly, especially during training, you might want to try a lot of different sensations intermixed...amazing the number of ways a strap can bite a girl...until youre sure that you are behaving in a pleasing way, he could give you more of what you like pain-wise and mix it in with the harder things...kind of create an expectation of excitement...if i know that im going to get something good like a good loud sound thuddy flogging....if i can just make it thru this dragons tongue....i tend to make it thru.
But eventually, no matter what you do, your body will let you know in no uncertain terms that you are experiencing pain and that you better go before you need to gnaw one of your paws free to escape...in the beginning, try not to get there too often.

_____________________________

You be the Captain; i'll be no one.

And You can carry me away....if You want to. ~Kasey Chambers

E*Whore, extraordinaire....

Nothing is exactly as it seems~Nor, is it otherwise.

(in reply to HisPrincess05)

Post #: 39

RE: Need some guidance.... on how to endure the pain? - 11/7/2008 6:52:45 PM

LydiaSciKitten

Posts: 43
Joined: 10/16/2008
From: Luxembourg, now in UK
Status: offline

Enduring pain is not too negative a description. Pain is painful, and your body does not like it, and therefore it needs to be 'endured'. If you are a masochist though, you LIKE enduring pain. So what the OP is actually asking is to be given some tips that will allow her to enjoy something that is already enjoyable to her (or else she wouldn't be doing it) even more.
Yes, breathing is important as so is concentration. Mental escapades can help, but they are not my cup of tea. What I find works is thinking about why you are doing this. When your body says, I want this to stop, ask it, do you really? Remind yourself that you feel empty and unhappy in a relationship without this element. It will give you a sense of purpose and power. You are choosing this because it is what you want. If love is involved, focusing on the other person's sexual attraction to your distress, and pleasure at your pain works as well. Gives you a sense of self-confidence and fulfillment.

(in reply to persephonee)

Post #: 40

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