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personality crisis - 12/17/2005 12:32:54 PM   
foxglove716


Posts: 648
Joined: 7/4/2005
Status: offline 		If you were looking for a short term relationship with a master/mistress/slave, do you think you could go through with it if you didnt actually like them as a person? If all the other elements were there, attractive, pervy in just your sort of way, but you just didnt like their personality, would you still consider it?

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RE: personality crisis - 12/17/2005 12:39:14 PM   
IrishMist


Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline 		Nope, not even just looking at it short term. I have to like a person first to even contemplate going any further.

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RE: personality crisis - 12/17/2005 12:40:31 PM   
theRose4U


Posts: 3403
Joined: 8/22/2005
Status: offline 		That's a really loaded question for me. It's kind of like saying if I really like his body but not his face and butt and well attitude would I stay because he's rich. While in this lifestyle Tops have the benefit of being able to gag patners that they may find iritating, the would I still sleep with him even if I have to put a bag over his head thing...to me at least...says don't do it.
The way I'm reading your post he's only for short term use anyway so what's the point in bothering with that in the first place. Holding out for long term may be more difficult but in the long run it's more worth it. Lowering standards to just get a little (whether play or anything else) in my world is degrading and not worth my effort. But your milage may vary.

< Message edited by theRose4U -- 12/17/2005 12:42:14 PM >

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RE: personality crisis - 12/17/2005 12:41:31 PM   
Tristan


Posts: 330
Joined: 5/31/2004
Status: offline 		Nope, I'm not one for casual play. It's the emotional connection that I enjoy. The physical is only fun when there is an emotional connection.

Tristan

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RE: personality crisis - 12/17/2005 12:44:54 PM   
krikket


Posts: 1183
Joined: 11/17/2004
From: Washington, DC Metro Area
Status: offline 		Not even a chance -- i have to like, respect and admire my partner, and it helps too if i even care about them. If i don't like someone as a person i don't even want to be around them, much less share such an important part of myself with them...

but...

your mileage may vary.

jimini

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RE: personality crisis - 12/17/2005 1:30:01 PM   
Noah


Posts: 1660
Joined: 7/5/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: foxglove716

If you were looking for a short term relationship with a master/mistress/slave, do you think you could go through with it if you didnt actually like them as a person? If all the other elements were there, attractive, pervy in just your sort of way, but you just didnt like their personality, would you still consider it?


Your list of loves includes role play and humiliation.

Do these have to be at someone's direction or could you choose for yourself to play the role of someone who could and did like this partner? And if you could play this role, could you find the fact that you were doing so a little humiliating and get off on that as well?


As for me, in practice I almost certainly wouldn't bother. The conceiveable but unlikely exception might be some highly improbable case in which my dislike for the person channelled itself into fuel--or anyway accelerant--for my sadism, precisely as her dislike for me fueled her own sense of degradation. The usual sort of intimacy, that is, the sort I am after, would be absent but something not unrelated to intimacy would clearly be at work. Maybe some compelling and worthwhile result could come of it. You know, that is if we happened to find ourselves stuck in an elevator together or something. I wouldn't spend any effort to arrange for it, though. The odds seem pretty strong that any given attempt at this would just be fucked up.

AS for the question of whether to hook up and just go through the motions for a while with someone for whom I felt no affinity, whether as lover or object, well that sounds kind of sterile and pathetic.



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RE: personality crisis - 12/17/2005 1:42:07 PM   
MTslave


Posts: 153
Joined: 12/15/2005
Status: offline
Please forgive me, for I'm not sure I'm quite following this line of questioning. The part I get hung up on is 'short term relationship'. I guess my question is, why would anyone look for a short term relationship? Wouldn't that be just, like, a F*#k buddy or something? I feel really embarassed that I had to ask this but my curiosity is getting the best of me.

Master T's humbled slave

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Love is everything it's cracked up to be. That's why people are so cynical about it. It really is worth fighting for, being brave for, risking everything for. And the trouble is, if you don't risk everything, you risk even more.”- Erica Jong

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RE: personality crisis - 12/17/2005 1:55:13 PM   
foxglove716


Posts: 648
Joined: 7/4/2005
Status: offline 		this is not something that I personally am considering, just a random scenerio I was curious about. Surely hate sex entails an intense passion unlike anything else?

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RE: personality crisis - 12/17/2005 1:55:45 PM   
anopheles


Posts: 241
Joined: 6/23/2005
Status: offline 		I personally couldn't do it, because I could never get into my "space" with someone that I didn't like their personality.

However, depending on how "short-term" is short-term, as in just having a play session, as long as both you and the other person knew that it wasn't going to progress any further than a play date or two, then I say, why not. But with something as basic as someone's personality, there is no room for decception.

--Anopheles

quote:

ORIGINAL: foxglove716

If you were looking for a short term relationship with a master/mistress/slave, do you think you could go through with it if you didnt actually like them as a person? If all the other elements were there, attractive, pervy in just your sort of way, but you just didnt like their personality, would you still consider it?


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RE: personality crisis - 12/17/2005 2:28:09 PM   
happypervert


Posts: 2203
Joined: 5/11/2004
From: Scranton, PA
Status: offline 		Sure, I could do that. The key in this scenario is looking for a short term relationship, and I can think of no better way to guarantee it will be short term than if you really don't like them. If you did like them then that would risk having it mutate into a long term relationship, and apparently that would be a problem because you didn't want that.

Of course, that is an unusual premise because folks are usually looking for long term relationships, but then some of them end up being short term when one discovers they really don't like the other. Hmmm . . . perhaps looking for the short term could simplify things and eliminate disappointments. heh.

< Message edited by happypervert -- 12/17/2005 2:35:34 PM >

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RE: personality crisis - 12/17/2005 2:47:56 PM   
windy135


Posts: 437
Joined: 10/17/2005
Status: offline 		I've just went through this. I tried to like him and be his friend but I just couldn't. So yes I played with him and then when I realized "wow I don't even really like him as a person" I broke things off. It's not much fun if there are no feelings for the person at all. I'm into the f*** buddy thing. It's not that I don't want to meet mr. just4me but I want to have some fun along the way. I say just play it safe and have a good time.

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RE: personality crisis - 12/17/2005 3:17:23 PM   
orfunboi


Posts: 1223
Joined: 10/22/2005
Status: offline 		No, i can't see that happening. i wouldn't want to serve someone i didn't like and i won't play with someone i don't like so there would be no reason to even go there.

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RE: personality crisis - 12/17/2005 3:19:54 PM   
SweetSarijane


Posts: 3788
Joined: 10/7/2005
From: KC area Missouri
Status: offline 		I wouldn't personally. For me there has to be an emotional connection, a fairly strong one, for me to let go and do it. Just my personal preference.

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RE: personality crisis - 12/17/2005 3:21:10 PM   
orfunboi


Posts: 1223
Joined: 10/22/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MTslave

Wouldn't that be just, like, a F*#k buddy or something?

Master T's humbled slave


You say that like its a bad thing

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RE: personality crisis - 12/17/2005 3:34:03 PM   
DelRey


Posts: 314
Joined: 12/3/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: foxglove716
do you think you could go through with it if you didnt actually like them as a person?


Uummmmmm.. NO.

quote:

you just didnt like their personality, would you still consider it?


for me, I have to have an appreciation for the person even if they are smokin hott to look at and have that "pervy" canter about them.

del Rey

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RE: personality crisis - 12/17/2005 4:20:41 PM   
justheather


Posts: 1532
Joined: 10/4/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: foxglove716

this is not something that I personally am considering, just a random scenerio I was curious about. Surely hate sex entails an intense passion unlike anything else?


Yeah. I think that if I were a character in a D/s romance novel or creating some sort of fantasty in my head, being "forced" to interact in that manner with someone I revile would be HOT.
But, in real life: No way. Aside from the fact that he oh so perfectly pushes my buttons, the reason I submit to my Dominant is that I love him.

(Edited for punctuation. Gotta hate that.)

< Message edited by justheather -- 12/17/2005 4:23:16 PM >

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RE: personality crisis - 12/17/2005 5:15:05 PM   
BalletBob


Posts: 1645
Joined: 7/14/2005
Status: offline 		NoWay Jose...I mean Foxglove. I wouldn't feel right, and would feel uneasy about it. Almost like if my wife decided to become my Mistress...it just wouldn't feel right to me.

With some Standards, BalletBob

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RE: personality crisis - 12/17/2005 5:17:48 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		Why get into ANY personal relationship if you don't like the person? Family, professional, political or societal is one thing.

But why CHOOSE to surround yourself with someone who you don't like?

Why do you think you have to settle for that?

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RE: personality crisis - 12/17/2005 8:55:44 PM   
OscarHargraves


Posts: 693
Joined: 8/9/2005
Status: offline 		I KNOW that wouldn't work for me. For years I dreamed of having a certain kind of girl 'just once'. About a year and a half ago I had my chance. She was absolutely beautiful with all the 'bricks in the right places'. She was exactly what I'd dreamed of but she had the personality of a turnip and the attitude to match. I danced with her several times at a CW club we were at and she made it very plain that she wanted to take me to her house and have some fun. All the while she is talking to me and looking around the club for her next 'catch'. She rarely looked me in the eyes and probably couldn't remember my name more than 30 seconds. What a turn-off! When she asked me to walk her to her car I gladly obliged. I opened the door for her and she kissed me and asked me to follow her home. I couldn't believe it. She was knock down beautiful and I couldn't get the least bit excited over her. I told her that I was only making sure she got to her car safe, closed the door and told her to put on her seat belt and then walked back into the club to dance some more. My only excuse is that she did not appeal to me mentally.

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RE: personality crisis - 12/17/2005 8:58:49 PM   
quietkitten


Posts: 1082
Joined: 2/5/2005
From: Alberta, Canada
Status: offline 		No... there is no way. I wouldn't enjoy myself at all so what would be the point.

Casual sex isn't something I am into anyway.. I need an emotional connection.

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<< I am a depressed procrastinator with Alzheimers -- I am going to end it all.... tomorrow... or the next day.

Now what was I talking about again?

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