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RE: sub seeking advice - 11/6/2008 9:10:15 AM

BLGirl

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Joined: 10/17/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: lamortbleue

BLGril, thank you for commenting. It's refreshing to know that your situation is close to mine. J has mentioned a few times that he feels there is a sadistic side within him that he fears. The only thing I can do when he feels that way in discussion is assure him that i know my boundries and my safe words. I often wonder if I should encourage this side of him, or just leave it alone. I wish him nothing more then his desires but I can understand the fears and reservations he has as well. We both have public lives that require us to maintain a non-pulvarized beef look.

You know, I have asked myself the same, concerning whether I should encourage Daddy to go further than he is comfortable going, because of his fear. Do we risk waking a beast within? Maybe, but I trust that he will not turn into an abusive bastard, perhaps more than he trusts himself. However, there is always the old addage; sometimes you get what you wish for, so who knows?

Hopefully,
BLGirl

(in reply to lamortbleue)

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Post #: 21

RE: sub seeking advice - 11/6/2008 9:34:56 AM

lamortbleue

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Joined: 10/5/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: BLGirl

You know, I have asked myself the same, concerning whether I should encourage Daddy to go further than he is comfortable going, because of his fear. Do we risk waking a beast within? Maybe, but I trust that he will not turn into an abusive bastard, perhaps more than he trusts himself. However, there is always the old addage; sometimes you get what you wish for, so who knows?

Hopefully,
BLGirl

Oh how i understand the risks of "waking the beast within". I've had one relationship in life end up that way and boy I got what i wished for all right, and then some that i did not wish for. Needless to say that was ended quickly. J, much like your Daddy, has all my trust especially for the matter of his feeling that he could become a sadistic beast and go to far. I am in no way fearful of his sadistic nature, nor do I ever fear he could become abusive. *giggles* Perhaps for Christmas we'll both get a retreat to a secluded cabin and get proper lashings...girls can hope right? My desire for pain is something I am still learning of, especially my tolerance for it. At times I feel there is almost a burning need within me to feel my flesh submit, but then i wonder...Do i truly wish to explore my personal curiosity AND encourage J's beast to come out and play with me.

Humbly
Rain

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Post #: 22

RE: sub seeking advice - 11/6/2008 11:45:46 AM

BLGirl

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I understand completely! For me sometimes, it is an insatiable need (to be hurt), and once fulfilled, all is right with the world. Then there are the times that I think I want/need to be beaten mercilessly (when feeling that I am wound so tight I might burst), but then think, do I really want that?

Hesitantly,
BLGirl

(in reply to lamortbleue)

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Post #: 23

RE: sub seeking advice - 11/8/2008 2:03:46 AM

NorthernGent

Posts: 8730
Joined: 7/10/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: antipode

You can't change other people

Can you put some meat on the bones of what constitutes 'change'? I see people change in the most fundamental of fashions on a regular basis.

_____________________________

I have the courage to be a coward - but not beyond my limits.

Sooner or later, the man who wins is the man who thinks he can.

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RE: sub seeking advice - 11/9/2008 4:39:27 PM

mstrj69

Posts: 295
Joined: 5/27/2004
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lamortbleue and BLGirl,
Were either of you ever in the military? As for being afraid to go too far as a sadist, if you are not restrained, you could duck if he started to go too far. The question would be could you keep yourself in position for whatever else you wanted to receive pain wise? Alternatively, would he knock you off your feet and into a glass table? Would have to make sure the room was safe for what you wanted to happen. As for how you want to look to your children or at work, possibly get a sitter for a couple of days when you will be away from work and thus you would have time to recover from any bruises that might appear. Then again there is always sick leave if available so you do not have to go into work.

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RE: sub seeking advice - 11/9/2008 5:55:27 PM

BLGirl

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quote:

ORIGINAL: mstrj69

lamortbleue and BLGirl,
Were either of you ever in the military? As for being afraid to go too far as a sadist, if you are not restrained, you could duck if he started to go too far. The question would be could you keep yourself in position for whatever else you wanted to receive pain wise? Alternatively, would he knock you off your feet and into a glass table? Would have to make sure the room was safe for what you wanted to happen. As for how you want to look to your children or at work, possibly get a sitter for a couple of days when you will be away from work and thus you would have time to recover from any bruises that might appear. Then again there is always sick leave if available so you do not have to go into work.

Nope, no military here, years of law enforcement and treatment for sex offenders under my belt, so to speak. I am not necessarily afraid that Daddy would go too far, we have gone about as far as one can go and live. Although he enjoys it, he is reluctant, the fear of breaking my jaw perhaps... Once dislocated my hip (ouch), didn't walk right for a month or so. He has never done what caused that quite so roughly again. There was a time that he got more into it than he wanted and bruised my face badly, we went out to eat couple days later and he said people looked at him like a monster. So, I can appreciate the apprehension on his part.
The problem with going too far, it would be too far for him, not likely me.

Happily,
BLGirl

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Post #: 26

RE: sub seeking advice - 11/14/2008 11:49:26 AM

thedavezone

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Joined: 12/11/2007
From: South Korea
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He may fear his desires are too much or too strange for you.

He loves you but may worry about hurting you, and you need to let him know it's okay. For example: Walk up to him in a school-girl outfit and a thong underneath, look meekly at your shoes, and tell him you've been a bad girl, and you need to be punished. When he stops, say, "I need more!"

Find out what he wants, and get him used to doing it.

(in reply to lamortbleue)

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Post #: 27